In February of this year my husband and I got the news we had long expected and hoped for, we were going to be parents. We were joyous, nervous, scared and elated. But soon after that joy was replaced by fear, not fear over the pregnancy but fear of how we would provide for our child when in March my employers said that I couldn't bring the baby to work with me ( I worked as a nanny) and that I would have to make other arrangements or leave my position. They felt this was what was best for their children and I cannot begrudge them that, but other arrangements for us was out of the question. We could not afford a babysitter so that I could babysit, we could not afford daycare so that I could care for someone else's children, and no one in our families would be able to watch the baby because either they were working or their health was too poor. With our only option being that I find other employment that wouldn't require daycare or babysitting for our child, we were frightened.
After getting the news I cried out to God, I literally wept as I prayed, declared faith in Him, and asked for His help, His provision. And in response He gave me a word from Matthew to hang onto over the following months, Matthew 6:25-34, and peace that reached to the depths of my soul, settling me and giving strength to move forward and begin the search.
Things became more difficult, more scary and tense as the medical bills came in and began mounting. I was losing my job and I didn't know when, we had no insurance, and had to pay out of pocket for everything, and we couldn't get any assistance because we made too much with what I was currently making. Debt loomed over us and we still didn't know how God would see us through, how we would make these payments, keep our house, and keep the car my husband needed for his job. Things were getting worse, but still I remembered the word God gave me, and when I forgot or got too scared, God reminded me and we marched on believing in His provision.
In April we found hope in a customer service position through Fed-Ex where I could work from home. This was exactly the kind of job I needed, it came with benefits, a 401(k), and pension plan, and the salary was just about the same as I had been making. It meant some sacrifices, some changes to our lifestyle, but in the end it would be worth it and I applied. This was not the only relief we were given either, around this same time my dad gave us a small sum of money to help pay down some of the debt and keep us afloat until the job situation was figured out. At this time I was still working but we had no clue for how long.
In May came more bad news, June 10 was to be my last day; I still didn't have a job, and now only had 6 weeks to find one. Not only that but my previous visit to the doctor had raised some concerns, the baby was fine but the doctor was worried that things were not as they should be with me and ordered an array of test and a sonogram to make sure. In April fear had overrun me and I had backslide before God got my attention and refocused me once more on Him. This time though I refused to run scared and battled through prayer and praise, believing and knowing in my heart God never fails, He would provide just in time and my womb would be healed by His great grace and healing.
Now on June 12th I am overjoyed to share with you that our God is the God of miracles, a provider and a healer! After all that we went through these last 4 months we are standing in awe of His goodness to us. Recently I went back to the doctor, and everything was exactly as it should have been! I was in great health and so is Jack, our son due October 6. But not only was I healed, I got the Fed-ex job and will start on June 20th! For months I have known I was brought into a season where God was going to show me how He would, could and does provide for His children, how He is my source for all, and in my moments of doubt there was always a message that reminded and strengthened me in that belief. And now at the end of this difficult season I have a deeper love and trust for God than ever before, I am grateful to a depth I had not previously known and hopeful for the future. Be blessed and encouraged my brothers and sisters, God hears your prayers and answers.
Psalm 37:4-6
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Matthew 15:28
Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.
Philippians 4:19
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Hebrews 4:16
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Monday, June 6, 2016
Careful Who You Listen too
Be careful who you listen too, whose advice and words you allow into your heart and mind, not everyone is after your best interest. Some people will make things up, others will repeat lies to you and all for the purpose of their own desires, or acting out in their pain and wanting you to hurt too. This person can be family or a friend, an acquaintance or someone you've known for years, but before believing everything they tell you looking at their character and track record may be a good idea. I'm not saying to call them a liar, or to be unforgiving towards them, but to simply guard your heart from words that are likely untrue and very dangerous to your own heart and potentially others.
As I usually try to do I am speaking from experience here. Words can create problems, destroy lives, happy marriages, and break hearts. They are more powerful than we know, reaching deep inside us and either lifting us up, or tearing us down. They can heal or they can hurt, so it becomes important to realize whose words you allow in and whose words you disregard.
I learned this lesson about 8 years ago when Nick and I were still dating, actually at this point we hadn't been dating long, only a couple of months. I had just moved back into my parent's house on Nick's advice at this point and was distancing myself from my roommate, on the advice of a word planted in my spirit one night as I had been speaking to her over the phone. The word that came to me was this "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."(1 Corinthians 13:11). When that word hit me I knew it was time to move past that relationship, and I told her so, but she wasn't happy about that. Shortly after that conversation I would talk to her again for the last time, and in the course of it we would start to argue over Nick, again.
My friend had always been the pretty one, the one getting all the attention from the guys while I stood in the background or played 'wing girl' and backed her up; talking her up to the interested prospect. That is until Nick. To be honest she did catch his eye first, and he when we first met he wasn't sure which one of us he really wanted to call him first, so he set his number on the counter at the store where he worked and asked us both to call. My friend was tickled, and I was flattered, though I believed I had no chance against her. Then we got in the car and she started plotting about using Nick to get another guy she liked by making him jealous, it made me sick. I said nothing though and let it go, wishing in my heart to be the one he would like instead but fully expecting to play background as she carelessly used, and hurt one man to get another.
The night of our final conversation, I brought this up to her. I brought up her plan to use him and asked why she cared at all that he didn't want to date her when she was really after someone else in the first place. Instead of answering me though she turned the tables, and told me something that I believe she thought would cause me to break up with Nick and continue my friendship with her instead. What she said was meant to cause doubt in Nick's loyalty, it was meant to hurt me, and for a time it did stick with me, even though I still chose him. That night she told me that he always hit on her and flirted with her whenever she came in the store and I wasn't there. She told me I couldn't trust him and that he wasn't really interested me, that he was going to cheat on me.
The moment she said it several things came to mind, first the number of times I had caught her in lies; second her deceitful nature when it came to obtaining what she wanted, and third a conversation I had had with Nick after she called him the first and only time; a conversation that she had known nothing about. In that conversation Nick had told me that my roommate had called him while I was at work, I wasn't surprised and asked him when they would be going out. I felt disappointed but I had expected this and did my best not to look upset. But he told me then that they would not be going out, that after just a few minutes on the phone with her that he knew he didn't like her and that he had actually kind of hoped it would be me who would call him. I was shocked to say the least, and then gave him my number stating that I didn't believe girls should call guys first, that I was old fashioned with my ideas of dating and courtship. As I thought of these two things and looked at my friend's character and actions overall, not just towards me but with people in general I let her go for good, and continued to pursue my relationship with Nick.
For the first two years though that seed of doubt she planted would periodically raise up making me feel insecure, making me question him, the things I saw, and the relationship we had. Before dating Nick the boyfriend I had cheated on me constantly, sometimes flaunting it to me and other times hiding it from me, which I found out about after we broke up. These hurts and her words were usually buried beneath the surface, caged away where I didn't have to deal with them but occasionally they would surface and I would find myself alone in my room at night crying my eyes out wondering if he really loved me or if I was just the fool again. Eventually Nick proposed to me and I confessed my hidden insecurity to him, which he quickly laid to rest. For two years I had let her words and my past circumstances cause me unnecessary heartache but it ended after I talked to Nick about it. I have never again doubted him, and learned from that just how much someone's words can affect you, how they can cause pain and strife when you should be experiencing joy. I can't always stop it but I learned from this not to give every person's words power in my life, instead I look at their character, are they honest? Do they cause drama often? Do they take joy from hurting others? Do they get upset and vindictive if they don't get their way?
Guard your heart in Abba my friends, abide in Jesus and use wisdom when deciding what to believe and what not too. Don't give power to the things that can hurt you, that will steal your joy when you know the source isn't reliable, remember the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and he will use whoever he can to do that. Be blessed my family, in Yeshua's name.
Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.
Proverbs 12:18
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Matthew 12:36-37
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
As I usually try to do I am speaking from experience here. Words can create problems, destroy lives, happy marriages, and break hearts. They are more powerful than we know, reaching deep inside us and either lifting us up, or tearing us down. They can heal or they can hurt, so it becomes important to realize whose words you allow in and whose words you disregard.
I learned this lesson about 8 years ago when Nick and I were still dating, actually at this point we hadn't been dating long, only a couple of months. I had just moved back into my parent's house on Nick's advice at this point and was distancing myself from my roommate, on the advice of a word planted in my spirit one night as I had been speaking to her over the phone. The word that came to me was this "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."(1 Corinthians 13:11). When that word hit me I knew it was time to move past that relationship, and I told her so, but she wasn't happy about that. Shortly after that conversation I would talk to her again for the last time, and in the course of it we would start to argue over Nick, again.
My friend had always been the pretty one, the one getting all the attention from the guys while I stood in the background or played 'wing girl' and backed her up; talking her up to the interested prospect. That is until Nick. To be honest she did catch his eye first, and he when we first met he wasn't sure which one of us he really wanted to call him first, so he set his number on the counter at the store where he worked and asked us both to call. My friend was tickled, and I was flattered, though I believed I had no chance against her. Then we got in the car and she started plotting about using Nick to get another guy she liked by making him jealous, it made me sick. I said nothing though and let it go, wishing in my heart to be the one he would like instead but fully expecting to play background as she carelessly used, and hurt one man to get another.
The night of our final conversation, I brought this up to her. I brought up her plan to use him and asked why she cared at all that he didn't want to date her when she was really after someone else in the first place. Instead of answering me though she turned the tables, and told me something that I believe she thought would cause me to break up with Nick and continue my friendship with her instead. What she said was meant to cause doubt in Nick's loyalty, it was meant to hurt me, and for a time it did stick with me, even though I still chose him. That night she told me that he always hit on her and flirted with her whenever she came in the store and I wasn't there. She told me I couldn't trust him and that he wasn't really interested me, that he was going to cheat on me.
The moment she said it several things came to mind, first the number of times I had caught her in lies; second her deceitful nature when it came to obtaining what she wanted, and third a conversation I had had with Nick after she called him the first and only time; a conversation that she had known nothing about. In that conversation Nick had told me that my roommate had called him while I was at work, I wasn't surprised and asked him when they would be going out. I felt disappointed but I had expected this and did my best not to look upset. But he told me then that they would not be going out, that after just a few minutes on the phone with her that he knew he didn't like her and that he had actually kind of hoped it would be me who would call him. I was shocked to say the least, and then gave him my number stating that I didn't believe girls should call guys first, that I was old fashioned with my ideas of dating and courtship. As I thought of these two things and looked at my friend's character and actions overall, not just towards me but with people in general I let her go for good, and continued to pursue my relationship with Nick.
For the first two years though that seed of doubt she planted would periodically raise up making me feel insecure, making me question him, the things I saw, and the relationship we had. Before dating Nick the boyfriend I had cheated on me constantly, sometimes flaunting it to me and other times hiding it from me, which I found out about after we broke up. These hurts and her words were usually buried beneath the surface, caged away where I didn't have to deal with them but occasionally they would surface and I would find myself alone in my room at night crying my eyes out wondering if he really loved me or if I was just the fool again. Eventually Nick proposed to me and I confessed my hidden insecurity to him, which he quickly laid to rest. For two years I had let her words and my past circumstances cause me unnecessary heartache but it ended after I talked to Nick about it. I have never again doubted him, and learned from that just how much someone's words can affect you, how they can cause pain and strife when you should be experiencing joy. I can't always stop it but I learned from this not to give every person's words power in my life, instead I look at their character, are they honest? Do they cause drama often? Do they take joy from hurting others? Do they get upset and vindictive if they don't get their way?
Guard your heart in Abba my friends, abide in Jesus and use wisdom when deciding what to believe and what not too. Don't give power to the things that can hurt you, that will steal your joy when you know the source isn't reliable, remember the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and he will use whoever he can to do that. Be blessed my family, in Yeshua's name.
Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.
Proverbs 12:18
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Matthew 12:36-37
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Friday, May 27, 2016
Husbands Love Your Wives
Yesterday I put up a post that was inspired from some discussions I have had recently and also a passage in Ephesians; the post was called "Wives Submit to Your Husbands" ( http://jennthorn.blogspot.com/2016/05/wives-submitt-to-your-husbands.html) where I talked some about my views on the wife's role in marriage and while I could have continued on that topic I am choosing today to address the husbands role. You cannot really discuss one without the other because the two topics are intertwined, but it was too lengthy do both in one post.
I believe, or at least in my experience, we most often hear the first part of this passage from Ephesians that I talked about yesterday, wives submitting to their husbands, but often people skip over the second, husbands loving their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). One part in particular that I like about this second part is that Paul addresses the fact that Jesus gave up His life for the church, this is the protection of the husband that I mentioned yesterday, husbands must love their wives, and really their family as well, to the point that they would be willing to give their own life. To me that is agape love, true and pure love, but there other ways in which Yeshua loves the church and the husband as the head should exemplify them in the he leads his wife and children, so let's look at some ways in which Christ leads.
Jesus is humble in his leadership, willing to serve those who serve Him, which can be seen in the washing of the disciples feet (John 13:1-17); this means a good husband should be willing to serve his family and also be humble in that service. I can honestly say this is one of the many things that I am grateful for with my husband, if I need help around the house he helps, and if I am sick he cares for me, and he does it without complaint because he loves me. This gives me reason to respect and honor him, and to do my best to please him in return.
Another thing we know about the leadership of Yeshua is that He is gentle. Does that mean He never gets firm or says anything harsh, no Jesus very much did, if you read some of His sermons there are definitely points where He lays down the hard facts, but it never comes from a place of rage or wrath. When Jesus speaks on those uncomfortable things, where He is calling sin sin and telling us that there is consequences for our wrong doings and that it is hell, He can sound harsh, in fact I have heard non-believers argue that those are not the words of a loving God, but the truth is those words come from His love for us and His desire for us to be righteous, His desire to spare us from hell. Likewise a godly husband should be gentle in his approach to his wife and children, his words and mannerisms should be loving and kind, but there will be times that a firm word is needed to keep the family on the path they have agreed to walk together. Even that firm word though should be spoken in love, not anger, but I know that is not always easy depending on what may have caused the need for that stern word to be spoken.
Something else I see in the leadership of Jesus over the church that I believe a godly husband needs to exemplify for his family is forgiveness and mercy. Often when I think of Yeshua and forgiveness I think of that beautiful scene during the crucifixion where Jesus says the thief next to Him, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43) This to me means a husband must be willing to forgive when he knows his wife is repentant, he should over look that past transgression and move forward in harmony and love. But notice I said 'repentant' because if you remember that scene from the bible there were two on crosses with Jesus and He only forgave one, the one whose heart was sorry and saw him for who He is, the son of God. Am I saying that a husband shouldn't forgive a wife or child who isn't repentant, no, the bible clearly states "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."(Matthew 6:14-15) What I am saying is that if they are not repentant moving forward in harmony and love is near impossible, this is one of those cases where the husband may need to state a stern word reminding the wife or child of the ways of righteousness.
Again, I could continue on pointing out more ways a husband could lead like Christ, virtues he should display as head of house and spiritual leader but I feel like this post too is getting a bit lengthy, so I'll try to wrap up now. Yesterday I said in the last paragraph of my post that marriage is a two way street, a partnership, a blending of two lives into one, and I truly believe that to be true, it is what I have seen in successfully marriages and noticed lacking in failed marriages. You need both parties to be willing to love, forgive, and serve each other in the difficult times and the easy. You need both to be willing to walk in humbleness, not nagging or overbearing the other, but being loving, willing to listen, and respect the others opinion. You need both parties to be willing to consistently earn the respect of the other and to keep their trust by being open. Marriage is truly a two way street and when done well, done in partnership and in the example of Christ and His church it is a beautiful thing. Be blessed my family.
Isaiah 62:5
For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.
1 Corinthians 11:12
For as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
I believe, or at least in my experience, we most often hear the first part of this passage from Ephesians that I talked about yesterday, wives submitting to their husbands, but often people skip over the second, husbands loving their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). One part in particular that I like about this second part is that Paul addresses the fact that Jesus gave up His life for the church, this is the protection of the husband that I mentioned yesterday, husbands must love their wives, and really their family as well, to the point that they would be willing to give their own life. To me that is agape love, true and pure love, but there other ways in which Yeshua loves the church and the husband as the head should exemplify them in the he leads his wife and children, so let's look at some ways in which Christ leads.
Jesus is humble in his leadership, willing to serve those who serve Him, which can be seen in the washing of the disciples feet (John 13:1-17); this means a good husband should be willing to serve his family and also be humble in that service. I can honestly say this is one of the many things that I am grateful for with my husband, if I need help around the house he helps, and if I am sick he cares for me, and he does it without complaint because he loves me. This gives me reason to respect and honor him, and to do my best to please him in return.
Another thing we know about the leadership of Yeshua is that He is gentle. Does that mean He never gets firm or says anything harsh, no Jesus very much did, if you read some of His sermons there are definitely points where He lays down the hard facts, but it never comes from a place of rage or wrath. When Jesus speaks on those uncomfortable things, where He is calling sin sin and telling us that there is consequences for our wrong doings and that it is hell, He can sound harsh, in fact I have heard non-believers argue that those are not the words of a loving God, but the truth is those words come from His love for us and His desire for us to be righteous, His desire to spare us from hell. Likewise a godly husband should be gentle in his approach to his wife and children, his words and mannerisms should be loving and kind, but there will be times that a firm word is needed to keep the family on the path they have agreed to walk together. Even that firm word though should be spoken in love, not anger, but I know that is not always easy depending on what may have caused the need for that stern word to be spoken.
Something else I see in the leadership of Jesus over the church that I believe a godly husband needs to exemplify for his family is forgiveness and mercy. Often when I think of Yeshua and forgiveness I think of that beautiful scene during the crucifixion where Jesus says the thief next to Him, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43) This to me means a husband must be willing to forgive when he knows his wife is repentant, he should over look that past transgression and move forward in harmony and love. But notice I said 'repentant' because if you remember that scene from the bible there were two on crosses with Jesus and He only forgave one, the one whose heart was sorry and saw him for who He is, the son of God. Am I saying that a husband shouldn't forgive a wife or child who isn't repentant, no, the bible clearly states "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."(Matthew 6:14-15) What I am saying is that if they are not repentant moving forward in harmony and love is near impossible, this is one of those cases where the husband may need to state a stern word reminding the wife or child of the ways of righteousness.
Again, I could continue on pointing out more ways a husband could lead like Christ, virtues he should display as head of house and spiritual leader but I feel like this post too is getting a bit lengthy, so I'll try to wrap up now. Yesterday I said in the last paragraph of my post that marriage is a two way street, a partnership, a blending of two lives into one, and I truly believe that to be true, it is what I have seen in successfully marriages and noticed lacking in failed marriages. You need both parties to be willing to love, forgive, and serve each other in the difficult times and the easy. You need both to be willing to walk in humbleness, not nagging or overbearing the other, but being loving, willing to listen, and respect the others opinion. You need both parties to be willing to consistently earn the respect of the other and to keep their trust by being open. Marriage is truly a two way street and when done well, done in partnership and in the example of Christ and His church it is a beautiful thing. Be blessed my family.
Isaiah 62:5
For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.
1 Corinthians 11:12
For as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Wives Submit to Your Husbands
When I am asked my views on marriage, feminism and the roles husbands and wives should take I often say "My views aren't popular, they upset a lot of people so unless you are really ready to hear them you probably shouldn't ask." I don't know if that is the right response but it is the one I give after having upset many women with my opinions. Between yesterday and today I have twice got into discussions where these topics came up, and I feel like maybe perhaps it's time I address this in my blog. I warn you my opinions are biblically based and also partly from what I have witnessed in relationships around me and what I see on television, in magazines, and books. If you don't like to hear 'wives submit to your husbands' (Ephesians 5:22-23) you may not want to read this post.
I will start by saying that there are some things that feminist stand for that I agree with, women can and should be able to work outside the home, wear pants, and be respected as a productive and contributing member of society. I agree that women in the work force should be paid equally to their male counter parts and be protected from sexual assault or harassment in the workplace. I agree that women in the years of childbearing should not fear discrimination from their employers because they are pregnant and should even have at very least 6 weeks paid leave, (but longer really would be better, studies have proven this in Europe.) But I do not agree with how many feminist make stay at home moms feel like less because they have chosen family over career. I do not agree with how many feminist try to raise the woman above the man, and how some choose to make Christianity into a sexist cult in their teachings. I do not agree with the stripping away of the male head of house and the demascilanization of our men going on today.
I am a firm believer that women should submit to their husbands, but I do not see that as being a slave, you are submitting to their protection, to their lead as head of house, but not without an opinion or say. Ephesians 5:22-23 says "22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." But in Genesis 2:24 and again in Mark 10:8 we are told that the two are one flesh, so just as the husband would not make a decision without first pondering over the issue so he should discuss it with his wife, which reminds me of a line from one of the Proverbs "there is wisdom in the counsel of many." because she does still in fact have her own voice, opinion and perspective. As one flesh she has become part of his decision making process, she is another voice to help look at the situation from all sides, but ULTIMATELY I believe it is his decision after having heard her voice and reasons, and that she must accept it whether she gets her way or not. This is one of those things that I say that upsets people.
I also believe in serving the husband first, before guest and before children, his needs are met, just as I would if Jesus were my spouse. I believe in respecting and serving my husband as I would the Lord, this comes from again the passage of Ephesians I shared above and also what I witnessed in my mother, and grandmothers. I will admit this isn't always easy though, sometimes I get mad at him and don't want to be kind to him, sometimes we disagree, but I found that showing him kindness instead of malice resolves the situation much faster. I also believe in focusing on my husbands good points rather than faults and if there is something that really is bugging me I take it to God first then to Nick, never to another woman or friend, this from experience, usually just ends in you feeling validated in being annoyed and angry at them and feeds even more into those feeling, eventually leading to you being totally unsatisfied in the relationship, where as talking to your spouse and God will instead lead to resolution.
I honestly have a lot more to say on this subject, I could and maybe someday will write a book on this, but I think I will end here for today and tomorrow address the husbands role in family and duties to his wife, because it truly is a two way street. Marriage is a partnership, a blending of two lives into one and it works best when both parties are aware of their roles and do their best in respect and love for each other to fulfill them. I know I am young, and have only been married a little while compared to some, so many will disregard what I say, and that's fine, that's your right, but truly I didn't come to this conclusion on a whim, but from studying the bible and other sources, watching others, watching the world and trends throughout history, and practice as well as failure. I hope you will make your conclusions in the same manner. Be blessed in the name of our Lord, Yeshua the Messiah.
Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Proverbs 19:14
House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Ephesians 5:33
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1 Peter 3:1-5
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
I will start by saying that there are some things that feminist stand for that I agree with, women can and should be able to work outside the home, wear pants, and be respected as a productive and contributing member of society. I agree that women in the work force should be paid equally to their male counter parts and be protected from sexual assault or harassment in the workplace. I agree that women in the years of childbearing should not fear discrimination from their employers because they are pregnant and should even have at very least 6 weeks paid leave, (but longer really would be better, studies have proven this in Europe.) But I do not agree with how many feminist make stay at home moms feel like less because they have chosen family over career. I do not agree with how many feminist try to raise the woman above the man, and how some choose to make Christianity into a sexist cult in their teachings. I do not agree with the stripping away of the male head of house and the demascilanization of our men going on today.
I am a firm believer that women should submit to their husbands, but I do not see that as being a slave, you are submitting to their protection, to their lead as head of house, but not without an opinion or say. Ephesians 5:22-23 says "22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." But in Genesis 2:24 and again in Mark 10:8 we are told that the two are one flesh, so just as the husband would not make a decision without first pondering over the issue so he should discuss it with his wife, which reminds me of a line from one of the Proverbs "there is wisdom in the counsel of many." because she does still in fact have her own voice, opinion and perspective. As one flesh she has become part of his decision making process, she is another voice to help look at the situation from all sides, but ULTIMATELY I believe it is his decision after having heard her voice and reasons, and that she must accept it whether she gets her way or not. This is one of those things that I say that upsets people.
I also believe in serving the husband first, before guest and before children, his needs are met, just as I would if Jesus were my spouse. I believe in respecting and serving my husband as I would the Lord, this comes from again the passage of Ephesians I shared above and also what I witnessed in my mother, and grandmothers. I will admit this isn't always easy though, sometimes I get mad at him and don't want to be kind to him, sometimes we disagree, but I found that showing him kindness instead of malice resolves the situation much faster. I also believe in focusing on my husbands good points rather than faults and if there is something that really is bugging me I take it to God first then to Nick, never to another woman or friend, this from experience, usually just ends in you feeling validated in being annoyed and angry at them and feeds even more into those feeling, eventually leading to you being totally unsatisfied in the relationship, where as talking to your spouse and God will instead lead to resolution.
I honestly have a lot more to say on this subject, I could and maybe someday will write a book on this, but I think I will end here for today and tomorrow address the husbands role in family and duties to his wife, because it truly is a two way street. Marriage is a partnership, a blending of two lives into one and it works best when both parties are aware of their roles and do their best in respect and love for each other to fulfill them. I know I am young, and have only been married a little while compared to some, so many will disregard what I say, and that's fine, that's your right, but truly I didn't come to this conclusion on a whim, but from studying the bible and other sources, watching others, watching the world and trends throughout history, and practice as well as failure. I hope you will make your conclusions in the same manner. Be blessed in the name of our Lord, Yeshua the Messiah.
Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Proverbs 19:14
House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Ephesians 5:33
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1 Peter 3:1-5
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Love When it's Tempting Not too
Sometimes in life people we knew or used to be friends with will grow cold or bitter towards us for reasons we don't know or understand. We have two choices in that circumstances, we can allow their behavior to harden our hearts against them as well or we can choose to love them despite their change in behavior towards us. This is something that I had been wrestling with for a while as a former co-worker and friend has stopped showing me any kindness or support over the last couple of years.
Sometime ago I was in a somewhat similar situation but in that case the difference was that I knew what I had done to hurt them and I repented of it to both this person and God. After time and seeing that I truly just wanted to rejoice that they were doing well and show compassion when they were not they forgave me and we have since been rebuilding and healing that situation. in this case I don't know and this person more or less pretends I don't exist, which is their choice and I won't hold that against them, I know there are people in my past who I'm happy to leave their too.
There have been have times recently, especially with expecting my son, that I wished, looked for, and was disappointed when I didn't see this person supporting me. I was hurt because I once thought we could be good friends, but I know now that isn't the case. I have debated keeping this person on my Facebook or cutting ties with them completely, and eventually I may do that, but at the moment I'm not ready, I still like to see they are doing well and that their children are growing, thriving and loving God.
Last night though, I'll be honest and say that the thought of cutting her off and being bitter towards her ran across my mind as she posted a picture of her sonogram, her third child. I saw it and a battled raged inside my heart, part of me was happy for her, as a sister in Christ I rejoiced in her joy just as we are instructed too(Romans 12:15), but there was another side of me, the mean, nasty, ugly side that got angry. That side said to cut her off, to not acknowledge her blessing, or be bitter over it because of how cold she has been towards me, but then another thought ran across my mind as I stared at that little life in the picture on the screen, "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." (Luke 6:27)
As those words sank into my heart, any bitterness that had rose up melted away and I simply rejoiced, even responding to her post. Showing her love and being kind to her despite how she may feel about me now may never change anything, and I'm okay with that, I understand that sometimes we need to leave people in the past for reasons we may not know how to express to them. I understand that she may not like me anymore and that's okay, but I can't let how she feels and treats me cause me to respond in bitterness and hate. Cutting someone off because they are bad for you, or leaving someone in the past because that relationship has run it's course is one thing but we should never allow hate or bitterness to be the reasons that we distance ourselves, in I John 4:20 he writes "If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." If we really love God, if really abide Him, hate has no place in our hearts, because God is love (1 John 4:8) and to be a Christian is to reborn in Christ's image who cannot hate because He is perfectly in the Father and the Father in Him.
Today brothers and sisters I hope you love those who hate you, love your enemies, despite the temptation to react like for like. I hope you rise above our carnal instincts and show kindness to those who it is tempting to harden our hearts towards. Walk righteously before God my family and let His example in Yeshua and the words he gave us through the apostles and prophets teach you to set malice aside and take up the easy burden of love. Be Blessed.
Matthew 5:43-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others
1 Peter 4:8-9
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
1 John 4:19-21
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Sometime ago I was in a somewhat similar situation but in that case the difference was that I knew what I had done to hurt them and I repented of it to both this person and God. After time and seeing that I truly just wanted to rejoice that they were doing well and show compassion when they were not they forgave me and we have since been rebuilding and healing that situation. in this case I don't know and this person more or less pretends I don't exist, which is their choice and I won't hold that against them, I know there are people in my past who I'm happy to leave their too.
There have been have times recently, especially with expecting my son, that I wished, looked for, and was disappointed when I didn't see this person supporting me. I was hurt because I once thought we could be good friends, but I know now that isn't the case. I have debated keeping this person on my Facebook or cutting ties with them completely, and eventually I may do that, but at the moment I'm not ready, I still like to see they are doing well and that their children are growing, thriving and loving God.
Last night though, I'll be honest and say that the thought of cutting her off and being bitter towards her ran across my mind as she posted a picture of her sonogram, her third child. I saw it and a battled raged inside my heart, part of me was happy for her, as a sister in Christ I rejoiced in her joy just as we are instructed too(Romans 12:15), but there was another side of me, the mean, nasty, ugly side that got angry. That side said to cut her off, to not acknowledge her blessing, or be bitter over it because of how cold she has been towards me, but then another thought ran across my mind as I stared at that little life in the picture on the screen, "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." (Luke 6:27)
As those words sank into my heart, any bitterness that had rose up melted away and I simply rejoiced, even responding to her post. Showing her love and being kind to her despite how she may feel about me now may never change anything, and I'm okay with that, I understand that sometimes we need to leave people in the past for reasons we may not know how to express to them. I understand that she may not like me anymore and that's okay, but I can't let how she feels and treats me cause me to respond in bitterness and hate. Cutting someone off because they are bad for you, or leaving someone in the past because that relationship has run it's course is one thing but we should never allow hate or bitterness to be the reasons that we distance ourselves, in I John 4:20 he writes "If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." If we really love God, if really abide Him, hate has no place in our hearts, because God is love (1 John 4:8) and to be a Christian is to reborn in Christ's image who cannot hate because He is perfectly in the Father and the Father in Him.
Today brothers and sisters I hope you love those who hate you, love your enemies, despite the temptation to react like for like. I hope you rise above our carnal instincts and show kindness to those who it is tempting to harden our hearts towards. Walk righteously before God my family and let His example in Yeshua and the words he gave us through the apostles and prophets teach you to set malice aside and take up the easy burden of love. Be Blessed.
Matthew 5:43-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others
1 Peter 4:8-9
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
1 John 4:19-21
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Monday, May 23, 2016
God Can Use You
There was a time in my life where I never thought God would use me, that He could use me. I saw only the mistakes I had made and believed that I had nothing good to offer anyone. I believed that I had no purpose at all. I admired people who were helping others because it had always been my heart to do the same but I believed I was too broken to do anyone any good. I never would have believed then that today I would be writing an online devotional 5 days a week to encourage and uplift others. I never would have believed then that my dream of being a published writer could come true, and I never would have believed that I would have a happy marriage, beautiful little home, and a baby on the way, but with God all things are possible.
After I met my husband almost 8 years ago I suddenly had hope again at least for some of these things, I suddenly was able to believe again in the dream of having a family and happy marriage, but even then I never thought I would be writing again, I believed that dream was dead and buried in high school, so I stopped. I let it go and focused on what I knew I could do, childcare. And for a time it was fulfilling because I was helping some of these kids and theirs families, I was able to do something, be ever so small, to make them happy and feel secure. But there was always a part of me that still wanted to write, that still wanted to do more to help others and still wanted to be used by God, but I couldn't see how to make that happen.
Then a few months into my marriage my world came crashing down around me, my husband pulled away as the stresses we were facing caused him to pull into himself, and I was left all alone. This fed into the depression that I had been able to keep at bay for the previous 3 1/2 years, and led to the worst struggle with it of my entire life. Before seeking help I would be in tears everyday, suicidal, starting to have panic attacks again and nearly lose my job. But in that time as I fought to regain control of my life I would find God, and I would find my purpose.
I cannot honestly tell you how I found out about blogger.com, it was too long ago to remember now but when I started this it was because I had been encouraged by my therapist to get back to my writing and I thought this would be a good way to share my short stories, and excerpts from other writing projects that I was working on, but it didn't last long in that format. Soon my daily post were becoming more and more God centered as my life did too. And it was then that I suddenly realized that I had found my way to help others and serve God as more and more I had people telling me they could relate to what I wrote and that it was helping them. In this I found the fulfillment I had always been seeking, and at some points trying to forget that I needed.
I wrote this today because I know someone out there feels the same way I did, they feel so broken that they think they can never be fixed, or be of any use. They believe that life will never be good and they can never feel fulfilled, but I want you to know that it can. If you submit your life to the Lord in heaven and seek Him with your whole heart He will led you into purpose, fulfillment, and a life abundant in the good things of God. With God all things are possible and I can tell you both from reading my bible and living out the walk that I did that God loves to take the broken and make them new, He loves to have those who see themselves as weak led others to healing and salvation, He loves to restore and make better our broken dreams. God can use you to bless others, and in the process you will find your blessing too. Seek the Lord and grow in your love, wisdom, and knowledge my friends.
Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Isaiah 14:24
The Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Acts 26:16
But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you,
After I met my husband almost 8 years ago I suddenly had hope again at least for some of these things, I suddenly was able to believe again in the dream of having a family and happy marriage, but even then I never thought I would be writing again, I believed that dream was dead and buried in high school, so I stopped. I let it go and focused on what I knew I could do, childcare. And for a time it was fulfilling because I was helping some of these kids and theirs families, I was able to do something, be ever so small, to make them happy and feel secure. But there was always a part of me that still wanted to write, that still wanted to do more to help others and still wanted to be used by God, but I couldn't see how to make that happen.
Then a few months into my marriage my world came crashing down around me, my husband pulled away as the stresses we were facing caused him to pull into himself, and I was left all alone. This fed into the depression that I had been able to keep at bay for the previous 3 1/2 years, and led to the worst struggle with it of my entire life. Before seeking help I would be in tears everyday, suicidal, starting to have panic attacks again and nearly lose my job. But in that time as I fought to regain control of my life I would find God, and I would find my purpose.
I cannot honestly tell you how I found out about blogger.com, it was too long ago to remember now but when I started this it was because I had been encouraged by my therapist to get back to my writing and I thought this would be a good way to share my short stories, and excerpts from other writing projects that I was working on, but it didn't last long in that format. Soon my daily post were becoming more and more God centered as my life did too. And it was then that I suddenly realized that I had found my way to help others and serve God as more and more I had people telling me they could relate to what I wrote and that it was helping them. In this I found the fulfillment I had always been seeking, and at some points trying to forget that I needed.
I wrote this today because I know someone out there feels the same way I did, they feel so broken that they think they can never be fixed, or be of any use. They believe that life will never be good and they can never feel fulfilled, but I want you to know that it can. If you submit your life to the Lord in heaven and seek Him with your whole heart He will led you into purpose, fulfillment, and a life abundant in the good things of God. With God all things are possible and I can tell you both from reading my bible and living out the walk that I did that God loves to take the broken and make them new, He loves to have those who see themselves as weak led others to healing and salvation, He loves to restore and make better our broken dreams. God can use you to bless others, and in the process you will find your blessing too. Seek the Lord and grow in your love, wisdom, and knowledge my friends.
Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Isaiah 14:24
The Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Acts 26:16
But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you,
Friday, May 20, 2016
A Promise Fullfilled
When God makes a promise to you it can be counted on, it may take years to come to pass, but it can be trusted. Around 4-5 years ago, shortly after Nick and I were married I had a strange dream that never left me and that I believed came from God. In that dream Nick was standing at the foot of our bed and behind him where our dresser should have been there was a light and stairs. In this dream Nick told me that God had just told him our first child would be a son, something that at that point neither of us was actually thinking about except in the distant future. I was shocked and the dream ended abruptly without anymore details or having a chance to respond, it was intense and I honestly wasn't sure until the next morning whether I had been asleep or awake and I only knew then because I asked Nick about it. I realize as I write this it sounds a little crazy, but it's true.
Not long after having that dream I caught baby fever, but Nick wasn't ready, it would take him longer to catch up fearing making the same mistakes as his father who had left when he was three, and then disappeared completely from his life before the age of 10. This desire of mine caused us lots of strife, we argued a bit, and I cried a lot, sometimes feeling like it was cruel of God to tell me I would have a son and then keep him from me. Often I would kneel on my bathroom floor calling out and crying to God about the hurt I felt in my heart over this situation, and always I heard the same word echo through my mind and heart, 'patient.' Over and over He instructed me to be patient, He would remind me of Sarah, of Hannah, and of Rachael, and after striving and struggling for a little while longer I finally listened.
When I finally did as the Lord said things turned around and Nick and I finally got on the same page, we were finally able to come to an agreement and started planning our family. As we would talk about our future children I kept that dream close to my heart and would sometimes bring it up, but my husband, ever the doubting Thomas, would say to me "I never get what I want the first time around, I'm sure we'll have a girl first." And I would just smile and say, "okay baby," still believing it would be a boy.
Then in early February, shortly after my 28th birthday we got the positive test. I was on cloud nine! I knelt down on my floor crying and praising God, thanking Him and rejoicing that I would finally be a mother. My heart sang His praises as tears of joy rushed down my face, and still I believed I had my son, I believed God had fulfilled His promise to me. As we have progressed through the pregnancy I have never stopped believing, hoping, or reminding God of that dream, but Nick would keep cautioning me that it could still be a girl and that I could be wrong, so I did my best to play it cool and neutral, but the longer I was pregnant the more certain I became it was a boy.
Yesterday was finally the day we had been waiting for, the sonogram where we would be able to see the sex of the baby and I was beyond excited on our way there. I knew I was having a boy but I wanted to see it on the screen, I wanted to have that confirmation for myself and Nick and I kept praying we would be able to see that the baby would allow us to get a good picture that we could tell from. Still on the way there, Nick said he would not be surprised if it was girl, that it was what he expected even though he really wanted a son, I just smiled.
In the office anticipation killed me as they did the measurements and took shot after shot of the baby without me being able to see anything except Nick's reaction to how our little guy wiggled, and played inside me. I could tell he was amazed at how much the baby moved. Then finally they turned the screen toward me and the gentleman doing the sonogram started explaining what was on the screen, going through each part of the body, head, tummy, arms, spine, and so on until we came to the legs and his very visible little penis! I rejoiced, and Nick's eyes watered as he looked at his son!
Today I couldn't be happier, more grateful, or more confident in my God. It was a struggle to be honest to hold onto that promise at times, it was hard to believe in some moments that I would be a mother at all, let alone have a son when many 'predicted' I would have a girl first. But I trusted God over man, over my circumstances, over my fears and over my moments of doubt. I was obedient and waited patiently when others encouraged me to take matters into my own hands and trick my husband when he wasn't ready. I relied on God to fulfill what He had promised in a dream nearly 5 years ago, and because of that He kept His word to me, I have my heart's desire, a son. Today I encourage you my family in Christ to be obedient and hold onto the promises of God, remind Him and yourself of them often, show God you are willing to do it His way and be obedient while you wait for it to pass. Let no one talk you into disregarding it or going outside God to make it happen, trust Him and hold on in faith. Be blessed today always in Yeshua's name.
Numbers 23:19
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?
Deuteronomy 7:9
Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,
2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him
Not long after having that dream I caught baby fever, but Nick wasn't ready, it would take him longer to catch up fearing making the same mistakes as his father who had left when he was three, and then disappeared completely from his life before the age of 10. This desire of mine caused us lots of strife, we argued a bit, and I cried a lot, sometimes feeling like it was cruel of God to tell me I would have a son and then keep him from me. Often I would kneel on my bathroom floor calling out and crying to God about the hurt I felt in my heart over this situation, and always I heard the same word echo through my mind and heart, 'patient.' Over and over He instructed me to be patient, He would remind me of Sarah, of Hannah, and of Rachael, and after striving and struggling for a little while longer I finally listened.
When I finally did as the Lord said things turned around and Nick and I finally got on the same page, we were finally able to come to an agreement and started planning our family. As we would talk about our future children I kept that dream close to my heart and would sometimes bring it up, but my husband, ever the doubting Thomas, would say to me "I never get what I want the first time around, I'm sure we'll have a girl first." And I would just smile and say, "okay baby," still believing it would be a boy.
Then in early February, shortly after my 28th birthday we got the positive test. I was on cloud nine! I knelt down on my floor crying and praising God, thanking Him and rejoicing that I would finally be a mother. My heart sang His praises as tears of joy rushed down my face, and still I believed I had my son, I believed God had fulfilled His promise to me. As we have progressed through the pregnancy I have never stopped believing, hoping, or reminding God of that dream, but Nick would keep cautioning me that it could still be a girl and that I could be wrong, so I did my best to play it cool and neutral, but the longer I was pregnant the more certain I became it was a boy.
Yesterday was finally the day we had been waiting for, the sonogram where we would be able to see the sex of the baby and I was beyond excited on our way there. I knew I was having a boy but I wanted to see it on the screen, I wanted to have that confirmation for myself and Nick and I kept praying we would be able to see that the baby would allow us to get a good picture that we could tell from. Still on the way there, Nick said he would not be surprised if it was girl, that it was what he expected even though he really wanted a son, I just smiled.
In the office anticipation killed me as they did the measurements and took shot after shot of the baby without me being able to see anything except Nick's reaction to how our little guy wiggled, and played inside me. I could tell he was amazed at how much the baby moved. Then finally they turned the screen toward me and the gentleman doing the sonogram started explaining what was on the screen, going through each part of the body, head, tummy, arms, spine, and so on until we came to the legs and his very visible little penis! I rejoiced, and Nick's eyes watered as he looked at his son!
Today I couldn't be happier, more grateful, or more confident in my God. It was a struggle to be honest to hold onto that promise at times, it was hard to believe in some moments that I would be a mother at all, let alone have a son when many 'predicted' I would have a girl first. But I trusted God over man, over my circumstances, over my fears and over my moments of doubt. I was obedient and waited patiently when others encouraged me to take matters into my own hands and trick my husband when he wasn't ready. I relied on God to fulfill what He had promised in a dream nearly 5 years ago, and because of that He kept His word to me, I have my heart's desire, a son. Today I encourage you my family in Christ to be obedient and hold onto the promises of God, remind Him and yourself of them often, show God you are willing to do it His way and be obedient while you wait for it to pass. Let no one talk you into disregarding it or going outside God to make it happen, trust Him and hold on in faith. Be blessed today always in Yeshua's name.
Numbers 23:19
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?
Deuteronomy 7:9
Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,
2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him
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