Wives Submit to Your Husbands

       When I am asked my views on marriage, feminism and the roles husbands and wives should take I often say "My views aren't popular, they upset a lot of people so unless you are really ready to hear them you probably shouldn't ask." I don't know if that is the right response but it is the one I give after having upset many women with my opinions. Between yesterday and today I have twice got into discussions where these topics came up, and I feel like maybe perhaps it's time I address this in my blog. I warn you my opinions are biblically based and also partly from what I have witnessed in relationships around me and what I see on television, in magazines, and books. If you don't like to hear 'wives submit to your husbands' (Ephesians 5:22-23) you may not want to read this post.
       I will start by saying that there are some things that feminist stand for that I agree with, women can and should be able to work outside the home, wear pants, and be respected  as a productive and contributing member of society. I agree that women in the work force should be paid equally to their male counter parts and be protected from sexual assault or harassment in the workplace. I agree that women in the years of childbearing should not fear discrimination from their employers because they are pregnant and should even have at very least 6 weeks paid leave, (but longer really would be better, studies have proven this in Europe.) But I do not agree with how many feminist make stay at home moms feel like less because they have chosen family over career. I do not agree with how many feminist try to raise the woman above the man, and how some choose to make Christianity into a sexist cult in their teachings. I do not agree with the stripping away of the male head of house and the demascilanization of our men going on today.
       I am a firm believer that women should submit to their husbands, but I do not see that as being a slave, you are submitting to their protection, to their lead as head of house, but not without an opinion or say. Ephesians 5:22-23 says "22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." But in Genesis 2:24 and again in Mark 10:8 we are told that the two are one flesh, so just as the husband would not make a decision without first pondering over the issue so he should discuss it with his wife, which reminds me of a line from one of the Proverbs "there is wisdom in the counsel of many." because she does still in fact have her own voice, opinion and perspective. As one flesh she has become part of his decision making process, she is another voice to help look at the situation from all sides, but ULTIMATELY I believe it is his decision after having heard her voice and reasons, and that she must accept it whether she gets her way or not. This is one of those things that I say that upsets people.
       I also believe in serving the husband first, before guest and before children, his needs are met, just as I would if Jesus were my spouse. I believe in respecting and serving my husband as I would the Lord, this comes from again the passage of Ephesians I shared above and also what I witnessed in my mother, and grandmothers. I will admit this isn't always easy though, sometimes I get mad at him and don't want to be kind to him, sometimes we disagree, but I found that showing him kindness instead of malice resolves the situation much faster. I also believe in focusing on my husbands good points rather than faults and if there is something that really is bugging me I take it to God first then to Nick, never to another woman or friend, this from experience, usually just ends in you feeling validated in being annoyed and angry at them and feeds even more into those feeling, eventually leading to you being totally unsatisfied in the relationship, where as talking to your spouse and God will instead lead to resolution.
       I honestly have a lot more to say on this subject, I could and maybe someday will write a book on this, but I think I will end here for today and tomorrow address the husbands role in family and duties to his wife, because it truly is a two way street. Marriage is a partnership, a blending of two lives into one and it works best when both parties are aware of their roles and do their best in respect and love for each other to fulfill them. I know I am young, and have only been married a little while compared to some, so many will disregard what I say, and that's fine, that's your right, but truly I didn't come to this conclusion on a whim, but from studying the bible and other sources, watching others, watching the world and trends throughout history, and practice as well as failure. I hope you will make your conclusions in the same manner. Be blessed in the name of our Lord, Yeshua the Messiah.

Genesis 2:24   
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Proverbs 19:14   
House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Ephesians 5:33   
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1 Peter 3:1-5   
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,