This season of my life has been intense, and at times scary, but also blessed beyond anything I can imagine. I have seen great leaps of faith in both my husband and myself, changes to our characters and new strengths and reliance on God as He never fails to provide for our needs. As many of you may recall, shortly after finding out we were expecting our first baby my husband and I ran into trouble finding healthcare for the pregnancy, car troubles with both our vehicles, and the devastating news that my employment with my current family would be ending. With all this uncertainty, and bills just mounting, especially after an ER visit that my husband had, we were terrified and had no idea how we would manage. We feared losing our cars, our home, and that everything was about to be lost, that we were trapped in a downward spiral.
But God had given me a word for this season and when I clung too tightly to my fear He used my husband to remind me of it (http://jennthorn.blogspot.com/2016/03/turning-my-focus-to-truth.html). That became a turning point for us, not that the hits haven't kept coming, because they have, this week we found out I had less time than we had anticipated at my job, it'll be ending June 10th, and before that my grandfather passed away causing us both a lot of heart ache, and of course there have been issues at Nick's job, and issues with some of my family, but in it we are seeing how God is growing our faith and trust in Him.
The events this week so far have been a great example of that. At first when I had come home Monday and told my husband that I had about 6 weeks left at my job he was upset as I had expected, but strangely I had not been. I, for some reason I don't even understand, felt relieved and very comfortable with the idea that my job was ending. Maybe it's because of all the fatigue I have had during the pregnancy and I know I will now be able to get more rest, or maybe it's because at least with a date that takes away a little of the uncertainty, or maybe I've just learned to say 'okay, God will work this out,' whatever the reason there has been peace in my soul about this change. To be quite honest though, I totally expected my husband to go into panic mode and stay there, I totally expected to have to daily talk him through this and declare faith, I totally expected him to melt down and sulk, in the last almost 8 years that we have been together it's just what I have come to expect from him. But that isn't what happened. After his initial anger he shared with me last night how when he had started to worry during the day the word I had received from Matthew came to him and he was able to let go.
This dramatic change in his character shocked me, to hear him say those words, and to see that he confidently and sincerely believed it left me stunned and grateful. Reflecting on that I thought of Paul's words at Romans 5:3-5 which says 'Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.' These last few months have had a lot of suffering for us, a lot of fear and uncertainty, but as we go through each situation we have seen God providing for us. We have been promised assistance from my dad, we had a repair done on one of our cars free of charge, we found a doctor who will work with us financially, I have an interview tomorrow for a work from home job, and even if it doesn't work out, we are confident that we will manage with God's help, fear has lost it's power over us.
Today I wanted to share this testimony and encourage anyone struggling to fight the good fight of faith. Keep pushing on and speaking faith, dive into the word to find your comfort and strength to go on, believe in God's provisions and let go of fear and doubt. God did not bring you this far to abandon you, He has promised to never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8; Hebrews 13:5) and God cannot lie (Numbers 23:19; Titus 1:2) so we know we can trust Him. Trust in His provision my friends, trust in His promises and you will see the abundance of God's blessings in your life. Today and always be blessed in Jesus name.
Psalm 37:4-6
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Mark 5:36
But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe."
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
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