Husbands Love Your Wives

       Yesterday I put up a post that was inspired from some discussions I have had recently and also a passage in Ephesians; the post was called "Wives Submit to Your Husbands"  ( http://jennthorn.blogspot.com/2016/05/wives-submitt-to-your-husbands.html) where I talked some about my views on the wife's role in marriage and while I could have continued on that topic I am choosing today to address the husbands role. You cannot really discuss one without the other because the two topics are intertwined, but it was too lengthy do both in one post.
        I believe, or at least in my experience, we most often hear the first part of this passage from Ephesians that I talked about yesterday, wives submitting to their husbands, but often people skip over the second, husbands loving their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). One part in particular that I like about this second part is that Paul addresses the fact that Jesus gave up His life for the church, this is the protection of the husband that I mentioned yesterday, husbands must love their wives, and really their family as well, to the point that they would be willing to give their own life. To me that is agape love, true and pure love, but there other ways in which Yeshua loves the church and the husband as the head should exemplify them in the he leads his wife and children, so let's look at some ways in which Christ leads.
       Jesus is humble in his leadership, willing to serve those who serve Him, which can be seen in the washing of the disciples feet (John 13:1-17); this means a good husband should be willing to serve his family and also be humble in that service. I can honestly say this is one of the many things that I am grateful for with my husband, if I need help around the house he helps, and if I am sick he cares for me, and he does it without complaint because he loves me. This gives me reason to respect and honor him, and to do my best to please him in return.
        Another thing we know about the leadership of Yeshua is that He is gentle. Does that mean He never gets firm or says anything harsh, no Jesus very much did, if you read some of His sermons there are definitely points where He lays down the hard facts, but it never comes from a place of rage or wrath. When Jesus speaks on those uncomfortable things, where He is calling sin sin and telling us that there is consequences for our wrong doings and that it is hell, He can sound harsh, in fact I have heard non-believers argue that those are not the words of a loving God, but the truth is those words come from His love for us and His desire for us to be righteous, His desire to spare us from hell. Likewise a godly husband should be gentle in his approach to his wife and children, his words and mannerisms should be loving and kind, but there will be times that a firm word is needed to keep the family on the path they have agreed to walk together. Even that firm word though should be spoken in love, not anger, but I know that is not always easy depending on what may have caused the need for that stern word to be spoken.
          Something else I see in the leadership of Jesus over the church that I believe a godly husband needs to exemplify for his family is forgiveness and mercy. Often when I think of Yeshua and forgiveness I think of that beautiful scene during the crucifixion where Jesus says the thief next to Him, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43) This to me means a husband must be willing to forgive when he knows his wife is repentant, he should over look that past transgression and move forward in harmony and love. But notice I said 'repentant' because if you remember that scene from the bible there were two on crosses with Jesus and He only forgave one, the one whose heart was sorry and saw him for who He is, the son of God. Am I saying that a husband shouldn't forgive a wife or child who isn't repentant, no, the bible clearly states "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."(Matthew 6:14-15) What I am saying is that if they are not repentant moving forward in harmony and love is near impossible, this is one of those cases where the husband may need to state a stern word reminding the wife or child of the ways of righteousness.
       Again, I could continue on pointing out more ways a husband could lead like Christ, virtues he should display as head of house and spiritual leader but I feel like this post too is getting a bit lengthy, so I'll try to wrap up now. Yesterday I said in the last paragraph of my post that marriage is a two way street, a partnership, a blending of two lives into one, and I truly believe that to be true, it is what I have seen in successfully marriages and noticed lacking in failed marriages. You need both parties to be willing to love, forgive, and serve each other in the difficult times and the easy. You need both to be willing to walk in humbleness, not nagging or overbearing the other, but being loving, willing to listen, and respect the others opinion. You need both parties to be willing to consistently earn the respect of the other and to keep their trust by being open. Marriage is truly a two way street and when done well, done in partnership and in the example of Christ and His church it is a beautiful thing. Be blessed my family.

Isaiah 62:5   
For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.

1 Corinthians 11:12   
For as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.

1 Peter 3:7   
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.