3 Forms of God's Comfort

       Right now my life feels like a storm, like the winds of destruction are blowing all around me and that at any moment I might crumble under it's force. And while I might have an emotional break down or two I won't let my circumstances distract me from God, or cause me to turn my back on Him. God's taken me too far and I've experienced too much to doubt Him now. I have been stressed and struggling with all the problems and sorrow I am dealing with but I am finding comfort in the Lord, and on His word I will rest.
       This experience has reminded that not so long ago someone said to me that God can't comfort someone, that because they have not been hugged by God that they didn't believe that God could comfort anyone. I felt bad for this person because I don't think they are able to recognize that God has and does comfort us when we are hurting in many ways, and that's what I would like to share today. I doubt it is possible to write about all the ways God comforts us, but I hope through sharing some that I have experienced it helps you to recognize the Lord's comfort in your own life, because I don't want any of you to lose your soul or your hope over lies like the Lord doesn't comfort His children.
          Probably the most overlooked or unrecognized way God comforts us is by sending others into our path, people who do hug us whether it be by their physical arms or the comfort in their words. Of course, to some, you will look at what I just said and respond with something similar to this "That's not God, God had nothing to with it, that's just people being compassionate." And my response is this, compassion comes out of love, God is love (1 John 4:8) and if God can cause people's heart to be hardened as He did with Pharaoh (Exodus 9:12), what makes you think He can't or won't pour out His love and comfort for you through someone else? The compassion you feel from others is God's mercy and comfort, we have just been taught not to look at it like that.
       The second way God comforts us in these hard times is by provision, this is one that I have seen played out in my life and others so many times! His comfort here comes usually in the form of resolution, and it is oftentimes either unexpected or brought about in an unexpected way. I have often heard people credit this to chance, or luck, I used to also before I started reading the word and actually studying it. As I became more educated on the word I started to see how God worked out all these situations by touching the hearts of the right people at the right time, how He urges us from within to be instruments of provision and mercy. This is how He provides for us thru others, He moves their heart to take action.
      A third way, and probably in my opinion, one of the best ways is through His word. I can always find the comfort I need in the pages of the Bible. There are so many stories of God's victories and glory, stories or verses that remind us of His strength, His great love for us, His compassion, mercy, and that everything, no matter how much it hurts will only work toward the good of His children. These reminders make it easier to step back from the situation and say, "Yes I am hurting, but trusting God means I need to trust His word, and His word tells me that He is with me and He will handle this, all I have to do is trust and stay obedient."
       I know there are other ways and things He uses to comfort us too, like music, or a sudden inner feeling of love and clarity during prayer, Christian films, sermons, and sometimes it is just getting time to ourselves to deal with ourselves. And I'm sure there are other ways I have yet to experience, but today I just wanted to talk about those specific three because I think it's important that we recognize God in our lives, what He does, and how He communicates with us, because, then when trouble comes, and it certainly will, you can stay planted in the Lord and not be the seed that fell on rocky soil (Matthew 13:5). Be blessed.

1 King's 19:1-9

1 Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”

3 Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.

All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 6 He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

7 The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.

Psalm 119:49-51        
Remember your word to your servant, in which you have made me hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. The insolent utterly deride me, but I do not turn away from your law.

John 16:22        
So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.

Romans 8:26-30

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

                        

Shake the Dust off Your Feet

      Maybe I'm wrong but I don't argue my faith, I won't be pressured into a debate with those who comment on my blog post or any other post against Christianity, not because I can't but why should I let them distract me from my purpose? I am not here to argue or prove that I am right, I don't have to, I know that Jesus Christ is who He claimed to be, I know He is the son of God, I'm not here to prove it, He already did that. I am here only to prove that He does change lives, to testify about what a close relationship with God will do in you if you surrender completely, I'm here to encourage those who are struggling with their faith, I'm here to try to answer some questions and help guide those who are questioning, those who feel drawn to Him.
       I know that other Christians would not agree with my behavior on this matter, some are always ready to battle, to prove that Jesus is right and the other person is wrong, and if that is what God has called you to do, be blessed and victorious in it! But that's not my calling, that's not behavior He wants me to engage in. When these occurrences happen I'm always reminded of what Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 10:14 as He sent them out among the Jews calling to the lost children of Israel, "Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet."
       Now, I was told that this was an insult in those days, but because I was not there, and I have yet to come across anything that has agreed or disagreed with what that person said I cannot comment on that. But I can tell you that when I read that verse in context and how it compares the city that won't hear to the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, saying that it will have been more bearable in those cities than for the one unwilling to hear God's message on the day of judgment, it strengthens me to move past those comments, to give it to God and stay focused on those who are hearing, those who are seeking Him and need encouragement for their walk.
       This brings me back to something I wrote about the other day, letting the Lord fight your battles for you. And I suppose, that is in a sense what I am doing, and that's certainly what the disciples were told to do in this passage. They were instructed to move on to those who would hear, and not worry about those who wouldn't because God would deal with them later. I am not saying that everyone should react like me to those who come at them because they are speaking out for Jesus; what I am trying to say is don't feel like you have to respond in order to be serving God, some of us aren't warriors, and that is okay.
       I wrote this today for a couple reasons, one being that it's been on my mind for a while now, second because one of those situations happened today, and third, because I used to feel really bad about not engaging in these verbal disputes. I used to feel it meant I was bad follower because I didn't engage in them, that those believers who did battle were more true to their faith than I. But God has been showing me through His word and other situations like what I wrote about a few days ago that it's just fine that I turn the other cheek, that's what He wants from me, God wants to know by my actions that I trust Him enough let go and allow Him to work it all out in the end. So don't be tricked into believing that you must fight and argue every person who disagrees with you about Jesus, or that you shouldn't engage at all ever and you have to turn the other cheek all the time to represent Him, both are fine, both are good so long as you are obedient to God in what you are doing, so pray about it and find out where your calling leads you.

Psalm 119:157        
Many are my persecutors and my adversaries, but I do not swerve from your testimonies.

Proverbs 29:27        
An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous, but one whose way is straight is an abomination to the wicked.

Luke 10:11
Even the dust of your town we wipe from our feet as a warning to you. Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God has come near.

John 15:18-25
18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20 Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21 They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me. 22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. 24 If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25 But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’

The Choice to Praise

       Today started out completely the wrong way, but I am trusting God. My heart is breaking for my best friend of over 23 years who lost his father last night to a heart attack, for my aunt who's anxiety is so out of control right now she can hardly care for herself let alone for my grandmother who lives with her and is suffering from dementia, and once again my car won't start, but God has this all so I'm trying to let go. I'm trying to praise the Lord even though everything around me says that things are terrible, even though I feel terrible inside and I'm overwhelmed by it all.
       And to be honest when I really think about it I still have a lot to be thankful for, my husband is in good health and had today off so I could use his car to get to work, my employers are going to give me the day of the funeral off to be with my friend, my dad is lending me his car for tomorrow, and I have a warm home to return to, while there are many not so fortunate in this cold snowy weather. Most importantly, I have my savior with me, comforting me with His word, reminding me to rest in Him, to lay down my burden to Him, and trust Him despite how I feel and what things look like. I have a savior who died to save me from death, and you too! That alone is worth praising and thanking Him for in any circumstance!
       So, today despite tragedy and hard times, I am making the choice to praise. When I want to cry, I will thank Him for working things out, even though I don't understand how. I will thank Him for His comfort, and those who are praying for my situation and my friend's. When I want to sit down and scream, I will sing worship music instead because I still have a wonderful God who can make the impossible, possible. When I get frustrated and feel like just giving up I will lean into Him knowing He will provide me the strength to keep moving, ands smiling. No matter the circumstances I am blessed, I trust God, I read His word and I know He is faithful, I know when things look like they are falling apart, that's when God is doing His best work in our lives. So I choose to praise! Thank you Jesus for you, and all that is gong right today! Amen.

 Psalm 150

1 Praise the Lord.

Praise God in his sanctuary;

praise him in his mighty heavens.

2 Praise him for his acts of power;

praise him for his surpassing greatness.

3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,

praise him with the harp and lyre,

4 praise him with timbrel and dancing,

praise him with the strings and pipe,

5 praise him with the clash of cymbals,

praise him with resounding cymbals.

6 Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.                     

1 Peter 1:6-9
6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Let Him Fight for You

       This morning as I was praying before work, I was struck with the thought of how the Bible promises that God will take care of punishing those who have wronged His children and we don't have to worry about it, (Exodus 14:14; Exodus 23:22; 2 Thessalonians 1:6.) I thought about how it was true in both my life and my husband's life. Those that bullied us when we were in school have all met with misfortune, one of the people who was especially cruel to my husband is dead, and the girl who was the worst to me is now in bad relationship. I want to make clear before going on, I take no joy in the fact that these people who have hurt us have come to bad things and I'm not bragging about how God has punished them for being cruel to us, I am just pointing out how God's promise is truth. I truly do not take any pleasure in their misery or the pain it must cause to others involved and I actually found myself praying for mercy for the woman who had been so bad to me because the situation she is in now is very sad.
       I shared what happened to my husband and I with the bullies in our school so you could see the truth of God's word and warnings. It is proof that when we sow evil against someone, it is reaped back upon us, it is proof that God fulfills His promise to fight our battles for us. I shared it because when I realized that what God has said He will do can be seen in my life, I thought about the verse (Exodus 14:14)this morning and the incidents I described and it reinforced my belief in God's words and promises. It may take years for the results to be seen, but God is always faithful to His word, and that includes paying the price for choosing to do evil towards another.   
        This is why as Christians we should never try to get even with someone, we don't have to, God repays us all for our deeds. If someone has wronged us, let go and give it to God, it's not our battle to fight, He wants us to just stay focused on Him and let everything else roll off our backs. He wants us to trust Him to know how to best handle things. We have all been warned we will reap what we sow, so responding badly or trying to get even will only sow bad things for ourselves.   
      To be honest, I wasn't sure that I was going to write about this at all actually, I wondered if it would be appropriate to share these thoughts but when I got to work the very first verse I saw on G+ was Exodus 14:14; which reads "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." and I believe it was confirmation from the Lord to write this.  Now, I do want to tell you, for those who don't double check what's going on around the verses I use, that this is Moses talking to Israel before they left Egypt, but it is a promise also offered to you as well, I know this because it is repeated in the New Testament, in 2 Thessalonians 1:6;  and Colossians 3:25(these are just the ones I found right away there may be more.)  I hope you pray about what I shared today, see if there are examples of this in your own life, and let it bring you to both glorify the Father, and to be mindful of what you are sowing.

Deuteronomy 1:30-31
The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the LORD your God carried you, just as a man carries his son, in all the way which you have walked until you came to this place.

Psalm 20:7
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. 

Ecclesiastes 3:17
I said to myself, "God will bring into judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time to judge every deed."

Matthew 16:27
For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS.

Colossians 3:25
Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.
      

Today's Pain, Tomorrow's Blessing

       Many of you who follow my post may know from a some of my status up dates yesterday that I was not having the best day. I had asked for prayer because I was struggling emotionally and frustrated with circumstances, but none of you know entirely what was going on. I am not going to go into everything at the moment, but I want to share part of what I was struggling with you, and maybe give you hope or understanding of how pain can really be a blessing.
       First let me give you a little back story, when I was very small my parents were not living together. I lived with my mom and her parents, and I visited my dad on the weekends, I was very close to my grandmother. She has always been more than a grandmother to me, she was a second mother. Since high school, college, and adult life has set in I have seen her less but she still holds a very special place in my heart.
       Yesterday, I got a message from my mom that to be honest, I had expected. She said they got test results back for my grandmother and it was confirmed she has dementia. Having already gone through this twice before, once with my great-grandmother and more recently with my grandfather before his passing it was an emotional blow that hit me hard. I know what we will experience, and I know how hard it will be, there will be days where she won't remember me, or be aware of the times. I started to grieve in that moment for the lose of my grandmother's mind and in part for the lose of her because I know and have already seen how the disease is altering her.
       I cried as I shared this pain with someone yesterday, wanting and hoping that they might comfort me, instead I ended up sharing with them why I am not angry at God for this pain. As I cried they bitterly asked me 'And where is God during this? Where is your God?' I stared at them a moment and answered honestly. 'He is right here with me, He is comforting me in His word, and while I am hurting and grieving now, I know that someday this pain I'm feeling will help me to comfort someone else. I'm grieving right now, but tomorrow because of this, I might be able to comfort my mom or sister, or someone else going through this. Today's pain can be someone else's blessing tomorrow.' That was the end of our conversation, and I pray that they understood what I said to them, and I hope you do too.
       It is important to realize even in the face of suffering you are not alone, and that the pain you are experiencing now will in time make you strong and allow you, in turn, to be a blessing to someone else who is struggling. It's this knowledge of how our Father turns pain into blessings that keeps me pushing forward in faith no matter the circumstances, and I hope today, that passing along this understanding has strengthened and encouraged you in whatever you are going through. In all circumstances, good or bad, blessed be the name of our Lord God in heaven! Be blessed.

Isaiah 40:29        
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.

Habakkuk 3:17-19        
Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places. To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments.

Romans 5:3-5        
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

1 Peter 4:13        
But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.
                     

Surrendered Hearts

       This morning I was thinking about the 'great' men and women of the Bible, the people that God used to manifest His will and expose His glory to us. I thought about them and how many very religious people wouldn't consider them righteous. I pondered how Noah, who is said to be a drunk, was considered to be righteous by God? Or Moses who killed someone and ran away to hide becoming a Shepard, or David a murder, and adulterer, but still called a man after God's own heart. Or Gideon or Jonah, or the prophets? And I thought about the apostles, men considered lowly and unrighteous by others, I thought about them wondering what was it that pleased God so much about them? What was it that made them pleasing to Him despite what many would see as  their major character flaws?
       As I asked God these questions and prayed; only one answer resonated, their surrendered hearts, their willingness to do His will even in the face of death, even if it didn't make sense. Sure, some of them took convincing to obey, Gideon needed a sign and Jonah had to learn he couldn't hide from God, but they still served Him. They still surrendered to His will because their hearts were His to command, Jonah didn't agree with what God told him to do, but he feared the Lord after his experience in the belly of a fish and he obeyed submitting himself to God, and because he obeyed the city of Nineveh turned from their wickedness and was spared punishment.
       I think of all this and I ask myself, what could surrendered hearts do now? What kind of greatness can God and will God produce today in the surrendered hearts, in these final days what glory will God expose through these surrendered hearts? He is calling us, all of us to give up our will to His, He wants to use us to preform miracles, to give prophecies, to spread the gospel, heal the sick and touch others lives and souls for His glory and in His name! But it takes surrender, complete and total surrender. Jesus said that those who love their life will surely lose it but those who hate their life in this world and follow Him will have eternal life (John 12:25-26); we must surrender to Him daily if we really believe what we say we do, and when we do there is nothing that will stop God from manifesting Himself through you in the most amazing ways, you will see God's glory if you surrender and repent at throne.

Psalm 9:10
And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Daniel 3:16-18        
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

Matthew 16:24-27        
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
     

Perfect Love Cast Out Fear

       The Bible tells us that perfect love cast out all fear (1 John 4:18) but what does that mean? What does that look like? I got asked those very questions yesterday, just as I put it forward to you, and I would like to share with you the response I gave this person, and some instances from my own life that might help to better understand what it might look like as you go through the process of casting out fear. I know its not the same for everyone, and some people may disagree with some of this, but this is what I have learned from my experience and I am hoping sharing this encourages someone else.
       First, you have to understand that love or perfect love, is God (1 John 4:8), there is no love outside of Him because love is Him. This is the basis of learning to overcome fear, you must draw near to God to push fear out of your life. The Bible says to draw near to God and the devil will flee from you(James 4:7-8), and fear is one of his biggest weapons.
       Second, you have to learn to trust in that love, you have to learn to trust that what God says He can do for you, He can and will do. For me this learning to trust Him started to take place as I started to read the Old Testament Bible stories. Why the Old Testament?  Because without a solid understanding of the promises God made to His people in the first place and why He had to send Christ my understanding of how Jesus actually fulfilled God's promises was lacking, this lacking of understanding made it difficult to believe that what looked impossible was possible with God. I couldn't see how God brought everything to completion, or where Israel fell off course. After reading the Old Testament I was able to better understand how God brings everything to completion, I saw time and again in the scriptures where if He said He would do it, He did it, including His punishments of the wicked. This built my confidence in the Lord and I started to believe what the Bible says about 'if God is with you who can stand you?' (Romans 8:31; Psalm 118:6; Isaiah 8:10), I started to really trust that even if it took years or generations to happen, it will happen if God said it.
       Those verses I put in parentheses above are the third part of the journey I went on to learn how to cast out fear. These verses became my mantras, I said them everyday in every situation. I constantly reminded myself that what is impossible with man is possible with God and that nothing could stop me from fulfilling the purpose God had created me for. As I saw these verses working in the small and encouraging me when I wanted to give up I became more brave, because if God can do it in the small, He can do it in the large. I started to take chances that I had previously been afraid to take, like writing about God and writing a book because I realized that if this is what I was blessed to do that no amount of nay saying or opposition could stop it from doing exactly what God wanted, all I had to do was listen for His voice of inspiration and obey.
        This all together, over about two-two and half years got me to place where I am no longer afraid to take chances, I no longer worry about the future. I just trust that God is faithful. I just trust that His purpose will prevail in all cases, and even if what is happening is awful, stressful, or feels hopeless I trust that God will work it all out for the best just as He promised (Romans 8:28). This is what perfect love casting out fear looks like, it is absolute trust in God and His word, once you can fully depend on Him and trust on Him, you have no reason to be afraid anymore. Draw near to God and the devil will flee from you. Be blessed brothers and sisters.

Deuteronomy 20:1
When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you.

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

Psalm 16:8
I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.   

Some Place Beautiful

       This morning as I drove into work and was praying I found myself day dreaming as I prayed, I went back to my 'happy place' as a young tween before I got lost in the world. I went back to how it felt laying on top of a large hay bale, the summer sun warming me as I stared up into the blue sky and I let the quiet sounds of nature and the near by farm sink in. This was my prayer place, my special place to talk to God, and it was beautiful.
       Often when I pray I go back to that place in my mind. I go there because in that place I had peace, I was alone in God's presence and that's what made it so beautiful and special. It was my hiding place to escape the chaos of school, life, hormones, and my hoards of cousins. I could stay there and talk to God as long as I wanted, and usually I stayed there until I felt strong enough to go back and face everyone. Sometimes nothing was wrong, I just longed to be alone in His presence, and other times, everything was wrong and I needed His comfort.
       This morning as I prayed and I drifted back to the feelings of that peaceful place I realized that this place would not have been so peaceful or beautiful if it had not been the place I went to in search of His presence. I realized that it was God's presence that made this place so beautiful to me. I realized that it's God's presence now in my life that makes it beautiful, mostly I just realized how beautiful it is to be in the presence of the Father, to feel His spirit as you pray, to feel His comfort, correction, conviction, strength, forgiveness and love washing over and through you. I realized that the most beautiful place I could be was before my heavenly Father. 
          I started to wonder as I prayed and contemplated the beauty of His presence about how it will feel to be in heaven, how it will feel to be in God's presence all the time, because these moments of pure beauty and heavenly peace are but a glimpse of His true beauty. Moments like what I described  are fleeting, moments when we are able to reach out to Him and feel Him reaching out to us. I don't know if everyone can understand what I'm describing, if everyone has had these experiences or not, but I know for me that the presence of God is often very strong like this. I know that when I pray and go back to some place beautiful in my mind it's not really the place I am searching for, but God. Jesus is my some place beautiful, Jesus is my safe place, and He can be yours too if you give Him your all. Be blessed.

Psalm 27:4        
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.

Psalm 50:2        
Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth.

2 Corinthians 3:18        
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Philippians 4:8        
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

           

Seeking His Presence

       Over the weekend my husband and I were talking, it started out with conversation about the 'Back to the Future' movies and finished with my husband asking if I could go back to any day in history when and where would it be. It didn't take me long to decide, I knew exactly where I wanted to be. I wanted to be in the presence of our Lord and Savior, I wanted to witness Him performing miracles, I wanted to hear Him speak, and when I turned the question back around on my spouse his answer was the same.
       The really cool thing is that we don't have to go back in time to be in our Lord's presence, we don't have to go back in time to hear Him speak or see a miracle. God offers that to us today. In Matthew 18:20; Jesus tells us that where two or three are gathered together in His name that He is with us, so when you pray with a friend, Jesus is there too, when you read a devotional or the bible with another and are seeking Him, He is there. But what about the miracles can we still experience God's miracles today? Absolutely!
       I personally have experienced God's mercy and miracles more than once, and have met many Christians who can say the same. Oftentimes the miracles aren't what we expected, aren't what we are looking for, we might be looking to win the lottery and get a raise instead, we might be stranded on the side of the road with dead cell phone when a kind stranger stops to help. These too are miracles, just not ones we typically recognize because it's not the feeding of thousands with 5 loaves and two fish (Matthew 14:13-21).      
        My point today is that we have access right now to the presence of the Lord, we can spend time right now with Jesus if we are willing to take the time to seek Him. God has promised that those who seek Him will find Him(Jeremiah 29:13; Matthew 7:7), and God always fulfills His promises!

Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Proverbs 8:17
"I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me."

Matthew 28:16-20
Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

        

Content to Wait

      This morning I said words I never imagined myself able to say, I told a friend that I was content to wait, and I meant it! I realize that you probably don't know why this would be so shocking for me, but if you knew me in my day to day life, or before I was saved you would know that I am typically not a patient person. I hate waiting. But this past year and half God has done much to teach me to wait on Him, so much so that I now am being more patient with others in my life as well.
       I have always realized that waiting is an avoidable fact of life, one that I typically met with disgust and a bad attitude. I was the complainer standing behind you in the grocery store in to big a hurry to be polite or the girl sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office checking the clock every two minutes and sighing with frustration at the length of the wait. I have been short with those that didn't deserve it and in rush to get things done one my timetable. God is changing that though, He is teaching me delayed gratification and how to have a better attitude while waiting.
       I don't know if I can accurately describe to you what this progress has been like, it's like a switch has been turned on in my head and I suddenly realized I needed to improve my attitude when I'm waiting on something. It's like I suddenly realized that the bad attitude was only making things worse and I needed to change that. It hasn't been easy to break this habit of being discontented while waiting though. God has taught me to wait by making me wait and blessings followed if I waited well, but if I didn't, I got to wait longer, or got disappointed because it never came to pass at all, this last one is especially true when I get impatient for God to move and try to take matters into my own hands, which is a big mistake, things always end better if its left to God.
       In this last year and half God has taught me that if I have the right attitude in waiting (which for you impatient people is an attitude of 'it's out of my hands, but I'll smile and enjoy now right now, instead of worrying about when') that the waiting can actually be pleasant. This new attitude has helped me to realize that the waiting doesn't actually stop you from moving forward, it just gives you an opportunity to focus on something else for a while. And it's amazing how fast 'when' comes you're not so focused on it. Thank you God for teaching contentment in waiting!

 Psalm 27:14        
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

 Lamentations 3:25        
The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

 Hebrews 11:7        
By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.

James 5:7        
Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains.    

Battling Against my Flesh

        All morning long I have seen post, received messages, and got sent a sermon all saying at some point or in some way  'God is working it out,' each in some way has reminded me to trust. I have smiled and praised at each, but the day has been trying honestly. Despite those reminders it seems like everything that is going on around me has been designed to try my nerves or distract me, it seems like everything is trying to get me to blow my cool today. But I made a decision early this morning to stay focused on Jesus, I decided early that no matter what came my way today this is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice in it! With the help of those encouraging words, playing an audio bible and listening to worship music I have been able to keep calm and rejoice so far, but it hasn't been easy, and there is still more day ahead of me.
       Days like this it feels like I'm doing battle, and essentially I am. I am battling my flesh to stay in the spirit. My flesh wants to be upset all day that I'm sick and not sleeping well, that the children I care for are sick and grumpy too, my flesh wants to be angry at them for the crying and the clinging, and the fussiness, but my spirit wants to comfort them and seek comfort myself in the Lord. My spirit says to be loving, understanding and gentle. My flesh says 'I should have stayed at home, in bed so I wouldn't have to deal with this.'
       I know I am not alone in this struggle, we all must struggle to submit our flesh desires to that of God and His desires for us. We all have this internal conflict going on inside of us, it is probably not the exact situation I am in, but everyone who has committed themselves to Christ knows that this is true. Everyone who has ever committed themselves to God has experienced the struggle of making yourself do the right thing when it would be so much easier not to.
       As I struggle through being sick and trying to put the children's needs and wants before my own wants I keep remembering the messages I got this morning before the day got so stressful, 'God is working it out.'  As I think about those words I find so much comfort in them, I know that these words are true, I know God always fulfills His promises, and I know that if I believe in Him then I can trust that I have the spiritual strength through Him to overcome today, all I have go do is ask and press forward in the spirit.
       I hope if you're struggling too, I hop I was somehow able to encourage you. I hope that by sharing my weakness you can come to see how God can make us strong. I hope when you read this today that you were encouraged to rely more on Jesus, and less on yourself.

Psalm 18:39        
For you equipped me with strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me.

Isaiah 54:17        
No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”

James 4:7        
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  

Galatians 5:16-17
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.               

God Works in Mysterious Ways

       People often say "God works in mysterious ways," I think that's partly because in Isaiah 55:8 it says "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” and partly because if you have given your whole heart to God and accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior some pretty amazing 'coincidences' start to happen in your life. An example of that happened with me today. This morning I woke up thinking about an encouraging verse it is not one that I read yesterday, or too recently that I can remember, but it was exactly what I needed to help keep me on the right track today. The verse was Psalm 118:24 "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." I'm sure most have heard or seen this verse at some time or another as it is a pretty popular one, but again, today for me, it was exactly what I needed. Because of this verse despite everything that isn't how I would like it to be, I am still glad, I am still praising God.
       It has been a long exhausting week for me as I struggle against a bad cold that has been keeping me up at nights coughing and congested, and unfortunately the children I care for have it too, they actually gave it to me. This has lead to a trying week that is barely half way over as I deal with 2 cranky sick babies, and my own crankiness from being sick. This week, needless to say, has not been my finest performance as a caregiver due to all of our attitudes needing adjusting. This is where that verse comes in.
       Today, each time I started to feel like the frustration and crankiness was going to get the better of me I remembered that verse, and how good I felt this morning as I thought about  it and said the verse to myself. As I did, the frustration melted away and I was able to do what I love and what I should without the crummy attitude. Because I woke up with this bit of encouragement on my heart I have been able to do today better than yesterday, despite actually feeling worse.
       The lesson I got from this experience is that God knew what I would need before I did. He heard my repentance from my crummy attitude the day before and my plea for His help; and He provided. He knew today was going to be hard again, and woke me up with a word to focus me on Him. He woke me up today with a reminder that He created today and wants me to rejoice at His creation. He woke me up with words to encourage me to be joyful, despite the way I feel. He woke me up with words that have kept my bad attitude in check. God works in mysterious ways, yes He does, mysterious and wonderful as He molds us a little more each day to reflect Christ and strip away our sinful nature.

Exodus 15:11

Who among the gods

is like you, Lord?

Who is like you—

majestic in holiness,

awesome in glory,

working wonders?

Psalm 40:5

Many, Lord my God,

are the wonders you have done,

the things you planned for us.

None can compare with you;

were I to speak and tell of your deeds,

they would be too many to declare.        

            

We Need Each Other

       I was once taught that after saying the prayer of salvation that it didn't matter if I confessed my sins anymore or not when I stumbled, or sinned intentionally. I was told that so long as I had said the prayer, that Jesus covered them all and I didn't have to worry about it anymore, it was a one time deal. But then one day I read James' letter to a body of believers where he writes this (James 5:16) 'Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.'
       This confused me for months to be honest. I had to read to James 5 several times and pray for clarity, I was conflicted between what I was taught and what the word said. Why should we confess our sins to one another and pray about them if it didn't matter anymore? And if man can't give us true forgiveness what was the point, hadn't I already been forgiven for everything? I didn't get a direct response to this, no voice, vision, or word; instead God answered my prayer through a lesson. He taught me that we weren't so much confessing our wrongs to receive forgiveness from each other(although in some situations we are) but to release us from the influence of that sin on our lives.
       What I mean is this, when I was struggling on my own against the sin and not sharing it with anyone for fear of judgment, it seemed impossible to overcome it. I kept getting stuck in the same trap over and over again. Finally, I broke down and asked someone else for help, I asked them to pray with me that I could overcome that stumbling block through Jesus, and advice on how to handle things better. And it worked! I had prayed over and over on my own, but it wasn't until I finally realized that I needed help, I needed support, that I was able to get past it.
       I think sometimes we forget that the church body is there to help us, that we don't have to go through it by ourselves. We are a family, and families help each other in times of need. God used this experience to show me, that not only did I need Him, but I needed connections with people in the body of Christ who I could count on. People who I can trust and come to for prayer and godly counsel when I am in need, and that I could provide for in that same way when they are in need. When we come together to lift up someone in prayer, we are strengthening them for whatever they may be going through at the time. This is why it says to confess to each other and pray, so that we may have the strength and support to overcome that sin in our life!
       From this experience I learned that sometimes I need to confess my myself to others believers to receive the deliverance I'm looking for, but I also learned that I just need others period.  We need others to help us stay on track when our sin might carry us away. I learned that we all need support, and we are all there to give it.

Galatians 6:2    
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

 1 Thessalonians 5:11        
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 

Romans 12:4-5        
For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

James 5:19-20
My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.                

He Sustains Us Still

       Don't expect everything God asks you to do, to make sense. Often He will ask us do things outside of our comfort zone, things that are awkward for us to do, or make us uncomfortable, or just plain makes no sense to us. Sometimes it's putting yourself out there in a away you're not used to, like being led to pray with a stranger who you see crying or upset. It may be spending a few minutes talking to someone who looks lonely at school or at the store. It could be reaching out to others for help and advice. Or it could be doing something you've never done before, something that you were told was impossible for you.
       Today I want to share with you a testimony that happened to me this past week, but first I need to give you a little background information. When I was about 16 I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia after having spent the previous almost 6 months blacking out on a regular basis.  Hypoglycemia, for those who are unfamiliar with the condition means I suffer from low blood sugar, and if I go too long without eating I get sick, sometimes I will pass out from it. Because of this health condition I have to be very careful about what I eat, and how often.
       Last week I suggested to a group of prayer warriors that we fast and pray together on that Friday. I typically do a type of fasting where I am able to eat some specific foods and abstain from the rest so that I am not getting sick while working or driving. As the day of fasting approached though, more and more I felt like I had to do an all water fast. My mind argued against that idea, reminding me of all the dangers, but my heart was persistent that I should do the water fast and that I would be okay. I knew the risk, but really felt that this was what the Lord wanted, so I prayed for clarity.
       Then Friday came and I stepped out in faith, doing what seemed totally irrational, what I was told I could not and should not ever do because of my health condition. I went through the day filling my mind and heart with the word, playing worship music, and praising and praying. By Friday night, I felt great. I had no headaches, no stomach pains, and made it through the day without once feeling like I was sick or that I might pass out! In fact I felt so good, that I continued to fast until noon the next day!
       I truly feel as though I was sustained by God's grace, and when I thought of that I was reminded of a scripture, Matthew 4:4 which reads "Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' ”  This was one of the responses Jesus had to Satan when he fasted in the wildernesses for forty days and was tempted, and while it may not have been Satan telling me that I could not fast without foods, my response was much the same in the actions I took, by choosing to fill myself with spiritual bread instead of relying on food. I trusted God and was obedient to the urging He placed in my heart, and because of that I can now say without any doubts that God's grace is sufficient. He can see us through if we faith and lean on Jesus.

Deuteronomy 8:3
He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

Job 23:12        
I have not departed from the commandment of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food.

John 6:50-58
This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”
    
1 Corinthians 10:17        
Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.      

Healing and Honesty

       Healing and honesty may not look like they go to together at first glance, but when you are talking about emotional healing the two go hand in hand. Being honest isn't always easy though, sometimes it means you are going to hurt someone's feelings, and that's a hard thing to think about let alone actually do. I'm learning though that when you are not honest about things it leads to hurt too. Often times keeping that secret, or defending that lie will cause you to lie more or avoid the person you have been dishonest to, creating further distance and secrecy in the relationship, both of which can lead to it's total destruction. Sometimes the destruction comes when the truth and your dishonesty are revealed, you lose their trust and often them. Other times the distance becomes so great, that eventually you fade from each others lives, leaving you both with an empty hole in your heart because there isn't closure.
       Honesty has been a big thing with me for a long time, my group of friends and ex-boyfriend in college constantly lied to me. Eventually, I couldn't trust them anymore, and then I didn't want to be around them anymore. This taught me that it was important to have people in my life to be honest with and who were honest with me. Now my lesson in honesty is going a step further. In this year that just passed God taught me that the means to healing relationships is to be honest in them, even if it means hurting someone momentarily.
       I know that it seems strange to think that hurting someone can actually bring healing but that's the truth I'm learning. For a long while there had been distance between my mom and I. She used to be my best friend. But something happened about four ago that changed that. I'm not going to go into too much detail here because it's a family matter. But pretty much what happened was this, I was asked to be part of a very special occasion, but one of the two people involved with that occasion really didn't want me to be part of it, they hounded me for 3 days to step out and did everything they could to make me believe it was going to awful for me. I really wanted to be part of it, but they were persistent and since the occasion was really all about them I relented, and to spare this family member from any harshness from the rest of the family I took the blame. I had no idea then, that they had intended to blame me the whole time, or that they had orchestrated the whole thing.
       It immediately caused a firestorm in my family, my mom called me angrier than she had ever been at me, I still can't think of the harsh things she said without crying. I never defended myself, though. I let my mom and the rest of the family believe the lies about me; thinking it was better than telling the truth and breaking my word. I learned eventually the truth of the whole situation, and then I learned to stay out of my manipulative family members way, to avoid them, but that also meant avoiding time with the rest of my family on that side as well. As years went by the tension between my mom and I grew, the distance grew, and her feelings about me and my preserved attitude towards the family grew.
       To my mother it appeared that after I met my husband I had decided that I was too good for my family, she became angrier and more hurt, but said nothing to me about it. Then recently, a few months ago actually, my mom and were talking on the phone, I had been praying to God for healing in my relationship with her, and during this conversation all my moms hurt and anger came rolling out in the form of accusations. I couldn't take it anymore. I blew up and told her everything, including how deeply she had hurt me. Everything that we had bottled up for the last four years came out. The first couple of minutes were really hard. It hurt to find out how she felt, and she was hurt to realize how much pain she had caused me. But after the truth came out, the whole truth, we were able to start healing, able to start rebuilding our relationship. It's still not what it was, but its so much better, and still improving.
       I learned from all of this that healing can't begin until there's honesty, even if it hurts. The hurt will pass, and forgiveness will cover it as the relationship is healed and restored. I know my prayers for the relationship with my mom to be restored is happening right now, and I'm thankful to God for helping to bring it all about, and the lesson he taught me in honesty.

Proverbs 16:28        
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.

Proverbs 28:13        
Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.

John 8:32        
And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Ephesians 4:25        
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.           

Correction and Pride

     We as a world culture we hate being corrected, we hate being told that we are wrong, our choices are bad, or that there are consequences for them. People often take correction as an attack, even when what you have said was something they needed to hear and meant in a loving way. I am seeing this more often lately, especially on the posts of another who is very bold in their speech, but I know everything they say is said in love. People are calling them judgmental, holier than thou, a Pharisee, a legalist, and even a hypocrite.  But I have never once seen that in their post. What I see is a deep passionate love for our Father, and His children, a heart that is broken for the world and a person who is allowing that broken heart to try to shake awake those who aren't vigilant about guarding their souls.       
       I do understand why people get so angry though, because I know I struggle with taking correction as a blessing instead of an attack some times too. It can be hurtful to face yourself and your actions and realize that you are in the wrong, that what you said or did was not right. Especially when pride is involved, because pride won't allow you to admit that you're wrong, instead it convinces you that you are in the right, and stirs anger or wrath toward the person involved. With pride you feel like you immediately have to defend yourself, that you must react to prove your point, to be in the right. But this reaction solves nothing, usually it causes more hurt and if it involves family, or friends it can create distance between them.
      Pride is called a deadly sin and its easy to see why. It takes so many shapes and forms within ourselves that it is often hard to recognize. What I am learning to do to help deal with this and distinguish between when it's just my pride getting in my way or when I am actually the one who is in the right, is really the same as how I am learning to deal with all problems. I take it to God in prayer. As soon as I catch myself (which honestly I don't always) feel the need to start defending myself,  to start challenging the person who upset me with their correction, I pray "Father if they are right, then remove the pride from my heart and humble me to their correction, but if I am in the right than give me the love and the words I need to correct them." Without fail when I do this I usually find out it was my pride that was the problem, and God does humble my heart to receive the correction and usually to apologize if I stepped out of line before I prayed.
       Correction is not always an easy thing to deal with, usually we don't want to hear it. But truthfully, accepting the correction will provide healing. Healing in the relationship and in your soul as you humble yourself and draw nearer to God by doing so.

Proverbs 15:32        
Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.

Proverbs 16:18        
Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

Hebrews 12:11        
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

1 Peter 5:5        
Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”        

Finding Purpose

       Recently I was talking with someone who has been extremely frustrated by trying to find their path in life. They have spent years looking to everyone else in their life for direction and approval, and now this person feels lost, unsatisfied, and frustrated by not knowing where to turn next as everything they tried previously has fallen through. They asked my opinion on what I thought they should do next in their life, my answer was simple, get in the word, and stop looking to the world for direction.
       After staring at me kind of blankly for a moment, they asked how that was supposed to make them happy and successful, how it would cause them to be remembered after death and leave a legacy, so I asked them why it mattered, why did it matter to leave a legacy when you're dead and it won't matter to you anymore? Why does it matter to be successful by the world's standards when you can't take all that money with you in the afterlife? This person really didn't have an answer for this, so I continued talking. I asked them where trying to do it on their own had gotten them, where did doing what the world and other individuals said to do had gotten them? I said I can tell you right now what I think you should do for a career, what you should focus on next, but seriously does it matter, would it make you happy? Probably not, because it didn't come from within. I told this person to stop chasing after chaos, stop looking outside at everybody else and trying to figure what they should be doing by what the world is doing.  I told this person that true lasting happiness can only be found in a surrendered heart, and to find their direction in life they had to start looking within and to God.
       I gave this advice from experience, I thought I knew the direction my life should go or would go, and although I wasn't always happy about it, I accepted it because at least I was doing something. After I surrendered myself to Christ though, when I let go of myself and gave up on my religious ideas and started to rely solely on what He taught and what He is still teaching to those who have ears to hear, my life took a different turn. It wasn't a right away thing, it took time, I had to draw near to Him and make time for Jesus and the word everyday. But eventually my life purpose became clear, I am a writer pointing others to Christ not because I set out to do this, but because I was meant to do this. I wanted to use this blog to share my books and gain attention for my fictional writing, but God had other plans and changed my heart accordingly.
       Now I am fulfilled and not happy, but joyful! I am excited everyday to do this, to write and learn more about God as I do it, to talk to, help and inspire others. I get to touch other's hearts and be of service to others and God! It's not about fame, it's not about money, it's all about Jesus! Until you are right with God nothing else in life will make you happy in a lasting or meaningful way, and as you grow closer to God He will reveal His purpose for you, to you.

Psalm 1:1-3

Blessed is the one

who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take

or sit in the company of mockers,

but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,

and who meditates on his law day and night.

That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither—

whatever they do prospers.

Proverbs 19:21        
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Matthew 6:33
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Ephesians 2:10        
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
           
1 John 5:4        
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.      

Self-Condemnation

       Something I have been struggling with for along while is self-condemnation. I read the Bible and I look at the laws that God has given us, and read where Jesus's says that those who love Him will keep His commands (John 14:15 & 21), and I understand that God has provided us grace, mercy, and forgiveness through Jesus to cover us when we fail. But oftentimes, I still think that I am not worthy, that I don't deserve it, that I am so sinned, so flawed, and so weak in the flesh that I can never really serve or please the God I love. Sometimes I read post by a wonderful Godly woman here on G+ whose heart for God's laws and His word astounds me, and it is often that when I read her post about these things that the spirit of condemnation attacks me the most. Her understanding is way beyond my own, and her zeal is a true gift, and when I read her post explaining that we are called to live a righteous life, I feel so down. This is not her fault obviously, but a spiritual issue in myself.
       Oftentimes, I look at my life and myself and I see all the ways I am failing and giving into flesh desires, usually the same ones repeatedly. Then, I worry that I will be separated from God by my shortcomings, until the point I am lost eternally because our Holy God can stand no sin in His presence. This feeling of inadequacy, of self-condemnation, has been a burden, and one that honestly, at a certain point, made me start to question if I should continue to write in this blog. As the condemnation grew stronger I started to hear that little voice of doubt that we all experience from time to time, it said 'How can you teach others about Jesus with those dirty sins in your life, what if the readers found out how sinful you are? How could you serve Jesus then? You are so unrighteous compared to so and so, they're getting it, they purged that sin, but you, you will always give in because you don't love God enough and you are weak.'
         This went on for several months, then around news years day of this year, I started to feel the spirit of condemnation lifting from me, not that it is gone, that mean little voice is still there chirping at me, but it's lessening now as my Spirit is answering back and boldly declaring, 'I am weak, but my God is strong! I have sinned, but my God is righteous and making me new in His righteousness! I may still sin but God is teaching me better ways, I am not perfect now, but God is refining me! I may fail in my attempts today to conquer my flesh, but God is strengthening me to do better in the future!' I know that there is no excuse to sin, and no free pass to sin in Christ, we are to forsake the world and follow Him, but we can't forget that there is also grace when we are trying and failing, there is mercy when we go to Him asking for help and forgiveness. And that's something God has been reminding me of lately. I may be struggling to live the holy and righteous life we called to in Christ, I may be slow to give up certain things, or back away from them, but my heart is focused on serving God and pleasing Him, and I know He will continue to guide me in His ways.    

Psalm 34:21-22         
Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

Psalm 40:11-12        
As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me! For evils have encompassed me beyond number; my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me.

John 3:17
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
            
Romans 8:1-4
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

I Need, We Need

     There was a guy I went to school with, my neighbor actually, whose favorite expression when someone said or did anything racy or outrageous was "Girl/boy you need Jesus!" He usually said it as a joke and everyone would laugh, because not so surprisingly, like most teenagers we didn't think about it really, God, Jesus, we believed they were real, but nothing we needed to worry about now, we thought we had forever to get that right. Most of the people in our group were "Christians" in the sense we believed Jesus to be God's son, and that He had died and was resurrected, but I really don't think one of us knew Jesus, I don't think any of us realized how right Sam was when he said we needed Jesus.
       The truth is we all need Jesus, this world needs Jesus. It doesn't take a large IQ, or great spiritual understanding to recognize that this world as a society, as a now connected internet culture, that we are in a downward spiral. In every country, in every part of the world acts of evil, destructive storms, and infectious diseases are spreading and occurring in increasing numbers. These things shouldn't surprise any of us though, it has been coming and building to this for thousands of years, we were warned of it long ago, in many prophecies, and by many prophets. The clock was set ticking long ago and time is running short now, you need Jesus.
         Jesus is the only person who can keep you in this coming storm, in Jesus is the only safe place to be. I don't often write this stuff, and it's totally off topic but today I feel like there is someone who is reading this that needs to know, and this is your confirmation, that the Lord is calling you, do not continue to tarry, do not waver about what you are seeing, go to it, and begin the work. I apologize to everyone who is lost after that little interruption in my post today, but I had to write that. Now back onto topic, what I was trying to say, what I was writing and getting at is the times are bad and getting worse, and you need Jesus to survive! There is no hope and no life outside of Yeshua, if you are not abiding in the Lord then you are on the path to destruction and death, you need Jesus. You need Jesus and you need to live for Him to truly live at all.
   
Psalm 55:22        
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

1 John 5:4        
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.
     
2 Timothy 3:1-5
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.          
         

Working and Fulfilled

       Five years ago spending as much time alone, at home without a car, and no job to go to, as I have in the last two weeks, was the worst. I hated being a 'house-wife' as Nick got to go to work everyday and I was stuck at home with nothing but cleaning to do. I would clean every inch of our small apartment in just a few hours, then I was lost, bored, and really down on myself for being laid off from work. I felt miserable, and unfulfilled, I thought it was because I missed working, but five years later I think it was really something else I missed.
       I still hate to see him leave for work, I would always much rather be together, but I am no longer miserable or unfulfilled. I no longer clean the whole place in a few hours either, in fact I pace myself in the housework now because I have other work to do which does fulfill me, because I feel in my heart that what I am doing is what God wants me to be doing.
       Working within God's will for your life is the most satisfaction you can experience. It is not easy, and it will come with many challenges and disappointments, but the effort is worth the reward. And I'm not talking about material rewards, or even really blessings of any kind other than the satisfaction of knowing in your heart that you are doing what you were created to do and it pleases your Father. That feeling, that knowing in your spirit that you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, this is what changed how I feel about being at home. Now I  find myself wishing I could work from home everyday, that I could spend all day going back and forth between writing, house work, devotionals, movies, and Bible study. I miss the children I care for at work, but truly I feel satisfied and content.
       So why did I share this today? Why did I testify about this change? Because its open to you too, you can experience fulfillment in life if you surrender yourself to Jesus. Jesus is a life changer, a people changer for those willing to die to themselves and allow Him to live through them. Those willing to include Him in all things that they do. Those willing to work within in His will, and turn away from sin.

Deuteronomy 13:4        
You shall walk after the Lord your God and fear him and keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold fast to him.

1 Samuel 12:24        
Only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you.  

Colossians 3:17        
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:23-24        
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.                

Excerpt from "A Work in Progress" a novel

       As many of my readers know I am currently working on my first Christian romance novel for teens and adults, I have already published one book of short stories called "A Night at the Old Hotel," and that I use half of the proceeds from sales to help struggling families that I come in contact with.  Today I wanted to share with you an excerpt from my new novel, as well as my book description and a link to my current book, if you are interested in it. I promise I'll go back to my usual blog post tomorrow, but after shutting myself away for several days working on this blog and my book I am excited to share what I have been working on! Thank you for your patience with me today as I deviate from the usual.

"A Work in Progress"
Description:
Victoria's chance to leave her small town for her dream job becomes a trail of faith as her employers dark past catches up to him and jealous rivals try to push her out. Can she weather the storm to stay in God's will or will she cave under the pressure?
Eric is rich man with everything someone could possibly want, except his wife. Now left with two sons, a meddling butler, a well-intentioned, nagging mother, and a gold digging cook Eric must face life without love. But with the arrival of a new young nanny for his sons the unexpected happens leaving Eric with questions than answers.

Excerpt:

After church service Victoria thought her head might burst with all the things rushing around in her mind as she stepped into the quiet of her bedroom and shut the door behind her. She had enjoyed breakfast and the church she attended with Eric that morning. The boys had even seemed to enjoy the children services too, so much so that Drake made Eric promise to bring him back the following week; which is exactly what she was hoped would happen. Victoria couldn’t feel happy about it, not really, because Drake wanted her to go too, and she hadn’t made up her mind yet if she was staying.

She hadn’t said anything to Eric or Braden yet, but she had to make a decision and soon. Garret refused to continue seeing her if she kept this job, but she didn’t want to quit a job just to make him happy, she liked her job and didn’t feel threatened by anyone there…except maybe Jessica. But was the job worth breaking up over?

Victoria had stayed up most of the previous night; after having yet another argument with Garret about the job; praying for answers, and she still felt completely lost. The easiest thing to do would be to give in to Garret's demands, than she could keep her new boyfriend and just get a new job. The problem with this was the nagging feeling that God had brought her here for a reason, a purpose, one that she had not yet completed. Victoria had tried desperately to explain this to Garret, but that’s when he told her if she didn’t quit by the end of the week, they were over. Her heart broke when he said those words, and they had echoed in her mind ever since.

Victoria laid down on her bed and picked up the small black stuffed teddy bear she had since she was a little girl, clutched it to her chest, and started to cry again. Less than twenty-four hours before she had felt like life was wonderful and all coming together, now it was crashing down at her feet. She felt like Garret was forcing her to choose between a man and God, not a man and a job. She wanted both, she wanted to please Garret and please God, but the more she thought about this, the more she realized she couldn’t have both, she couldn’t make Garret happy and God happy if they wanted her in different places. She was going to have to break up with Garret.

The revelation of what was necessary for her to stay on the path God wanted her on was no easier than flip-flopping she had done earlier. Victoria was starting to realize that life as an adult was never going to be easy.   

“Victoria,” came Eric’s voice from outside her bedroom door with gentle knock. “My mom is taking the boys for the afternoon. So now that I don’t have anything to do, I thought I’d invite you to lunch. If you’re feeling up to it.”

Sitting up, Victoria wiped the tears from her eyes and swallowed the lump that had been building in her throat before answering him. “Thank you Eric, that sounds nice. When should I be ready by?”

“My mom will be by in an hour, could you be ready by then? Nothing fancy, just casual lunch.”

“Not a problem. I’ll get changed now. Thanks again.”

“Sure. Meet you downstairs in an hour.” Eric replied smiling before he walked back across the hall to the nursery so he could start changing the boys into play clothes for their trip to the park with their grandmother.

  Victoria sat on the edge of the bed looking at her tear stained reflection in the tall standing mirror she had brought from her bedroom at her parent’s house recently. She was going to move forward. She would go have lunch with Braden and Eric, enjoy herself then come home and call Garret. It wasn’t going to be easy, and part of her really didn’t want to do it at all, but no one said doing the right thing was easy. Victoria sighed and wiped the tears from her cheeks before standing to her feet and starting to get changed out of her church clothes. It was a hard day, but it didn’t all have to be bad, lunch could be enjoyable if she just kept a good attitude and her mind off what she had to do next.

 

Link to amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JXNCPIU