Many of you who follow my post may know from a some of my status up dates yesterday that I was not having the best day. I had asked for prayer because I was struggling emotionally and frustrated with circumstances, but none of you know entirely what was going on. I am not going to go into everything at the moment, but I want to share part of what I was struggling with you, and maybe give you hope or understanding of how pain can really be a blessing.
First let me give you a little back story, when I was very small my parents were not living together. I lived with my mom and her parents, and I visited my dad on the weekends, I was very close to my grandmother. She has always been more than a grandmother to me, she was a second mother. Since high school, college, and adult life has set in I have seen her less but she still holds a very special place in my heart.
Yesterday, I got a message from my mom that to be honest, I had expected. She said they got test results back for my grandmother and it was confirmed she has dementia. Having already gone through this twice before, once with my great-grandmother and more recently with my grandfather before his passing it was an emotional blow that hit me hard. I know what we will experience, and I know how hard it will be, there will be days where she won't remember me, or be aware of the times. I started to grieve in that moment for the lose of my grandmother's mind and in part for the lose of her because I know and have already seen how the disease is altering her.
I cried as I shared this pain with someone yesterday, wanting and hoping that they might comfort me, instead I ended up sharing with them why I am not angry at God for this pain. As I cried they bitterly asked me 'And where is God during this? Where is your God?' I stared at them a moment and answered honestly. 'He is right here with me, He is comforting me in His word, and while I am hurting and grieving now, I know that someday this pain I'm feeling will help me to comfort someone else. I'm grieving right now, but tomorrow because of this, I might be able to comfort my mom or sister, or someone else going through this. Today's pain can be someone else's blessing tomorrow.' That was the end of our conversation, and I pray that they understood what I said to them, and I hope you do too.
It is important to realize even in the face of suffering you are not alone, and that the pain you are experiencing now will in time make you strong and allow you, in turn, to be a blessing to someone else who is struggling. It's this knowledge of how our Father turns pain into blessings that keeps me pushing forward in faith no matter the circumstances, and I hope today, that passing along this understanding has strengthened and encouraged you in whatever you are going through. In all circumstances, good or bad, blessed be the name of our Lord God in heaven! Be blessed.
Isaiah 40:29
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Habakkuk 3:17-19
Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places. To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments.
Romans 5:3-5
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
1 Peter 4:13
But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.
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