God Can Use You

        There was a time in my life where I never thought God would use me, that He could use me. I saw only the mistakes I had made and believed that I had nothing good to offer anyone. I believed that I had no purpose at all. I admired people who were helping others because it had always been my heart to do the same but I believed I was too broken to do anyone any good. I never would have believed then that today I would be writing an online devotional 5 days a week to encourage and uplift others. I never would have believed then that my dream of being a published writer could come true, and I never would have believed that I would have a happy marriage, beautiful little home, and a baby on the way, but with God all things are possible.
        After I met my husband almost 8 years ago I suddenly had hope again at least for some of these things, I suddenly was able to believe again in the dream of having a family and happy marriage, but even then I never thought I would be writing again, I believed that dream was dead and buried in high school, so I stopped. I let it go and focused on what I knew I could do, childcare. And for a time it was fulfilling because I was helping some of these kids and theirs families, I was able to do something, be ever so small, to make them happy and feel secure. But there was always a part of me that still wanted to write, that still wanted to do more to help others and still wanted to be used by God, but I couldn't see how to make that happen.
          Then a few months into my marriage my world came crashing down around me, my husband pulled away as the stresses we were facing caused him to pull into himself, and I was left all alone. This fed into the depression that I had been able to keep at bay for the previous 3 1/2 years, and led to the worst struggle with it of my entire life. Before seeking help I would be in tears everyday, suicidal, starting to have panic attacks again and nearly lose my job. But in that time as I fought to regain control of my life I would find God, and I would find my purpose.
        I cannot honestly tell you how I found out about blogger.com, it was too long ago to remember now but when I started this it was because I had been encouraged by my therapist to get back to my writing and I thought this would be a good way to share my short stories, and excerpts from other writing projects that I was working on, but it didn't last long in that format. Soon my daily post were becoming more and more God centered as my life did too. And it was then that I suddenly realized that I had found my way to help others and serve God as more and more I had people telling me they could relate to what I wrote and that it was helping them. In this I found the fulfillment I had always been seeking, and at some points trying to forget that I needed.
        I wrote this today because I know someone out there feels the same way I did, they feel so broken that they think they can never be fixed, or be of any use. They believe that life will never be good and they can never feel fulfilled, but I want  you to know that it can. If you submit your life to the Lord in heaven and seek Him with your whole heart He will led you into purpose, fulfillment, and a life abundant in the good things of God. With God all things are possible and I can tell you both from reading my bible and living out the walk that I did that God loves to take the broken and make them new, He loves to have those who see themselves as weak led others to healing and salvation, He loves to restore and make better our broken dreams. God can use you to bless others, and in the process you will find your blessing too. Seek the Lord and grow in your love, wisdom, and knowledge my friends.

 Proverbs 16:9   
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Isaiah 14:24   
The Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand

Jeremiah 29:11   
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Acts 26:16   
But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you,