Everyday is an opportunity to do better than the day before. Those words are true and hopeful, and easier said than done, but that's what makes it worth it. Things that you don't have to struggle for just don't seem to be worth as much, or maybe it's really we don't see their value as much. I know I am guilty of this. I can say with all certainty that I don't always appreciate what I have. Sometimes I forget to be grateful to God, my husband, and my family, I start taking them for granted and forget that they need and deserve appreciation and respect as much as I feel I do. Sometimes, make that almost all the time, I forget to be grateful for modern conveniences and in fact I probably never think about them until they break.
What did my little confession of selfishness, and an ungrateful attitude have to do with getting better each day? Well, it's that we all have areas we need to grow and do better in. This attitude I have of not appreciating things the way I should is part of what I'm focusing on now in myself. I think it's important that everyday we ask for forgiveness of our faults and try hard to improve in those areas. After all if you're just saying sorry and not trying to do better, are you really sorry? It'll take time to get better, and you'll always have room for improvement, but that's good. Because when you are focused on improving yourself it leaves less time for pointing fingers elsewhere.
If we really want to see a difference in this world, if we really want to leave a better place for our children than we need to start with being better people. We need to start loving each other the way we were commanded too(John 13:34). We need to start helping each other and lifting one another up, not trampling them under our feet. I realize it's easier said than done but I also realize its worth it, it's worth it to try to live better and happier. Because, quite honestly, when you stop chasing happiness in possessions, when you start being grateful for what you have and start really seeking the Lord to help you be a better person, you turn out to be a happier person. Lasting happiness, true joy, is found only in a relationship with God, when you are living to please Him, you will be a better person because of it.
Matthew 25:21
His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful in a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!
Colossians 3:1-4
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated on the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you will also appear with him in glory.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Pride Blindness
It's so much easier to throw stones at someone else than to take responsibility for our own faults, its so much easier to see what others need to do to change than to look at ourselves and see what we need to change; but what are we sacrificing by doing that? Not only are we hurting the person we blame, but we could be keeping ourselves from reaching our fullest potential by not really looking into what we should probably change about ourselves. I confess, I've been guilty of this for awhile now, and last night the Holy Spirit convicted my heart of this need to change and look closely at my own heart and behavior.
When I did, I didn't like what I saw and was humbled by my actions. I had to apologize, confess where I went wrong and submit myself to the authority of our Sovereign God. I am not going to go in to details of the situation, because frankly it's personal, but I was wrong and have been for awhile, so now that I am aware of it I have to push my pride aside and adjust myself to the Lord's way of thinking. In certain areas of my life I have been struggling for a while, but now I realize if I had submitted in the beginning this could have all been avoided.
Sometimes our pride blocks us from seeing that truth, even when we think we are living in alignment with The Lord's will for us it's easy to get side tracked or blinded by the attitude of 'I'm doing everything right.' Pride and over confidence can be dangerous blinders because they can make you believe exactly what you want to believe. You can see the world exactly as you want and fault will always lay at someone else's feet. But what's the cost? What are you doing to that relationship? What are you doing to that person you are blaming or putting down?
If you stay close to The Lord eventually the light will break through and the truth will be seen. It's important once you know the truth, once you realize you were wrong that you get in obedience to The Lord. Whatever needs done to fix the situation, do it no matter how hard because by doing so you can start the process of healing. For me, this time it was humbling myself and apologizing. Apologizing to God and to the person I wronged, and now I have to change myself. I have to change what I was doing so that I am in line with God's will over my life and so I am no longer hurting this person with my wrong actions towards them. Trusting His will means obedience, and obedience to the Lord often means being humble.
I think we are all guilty of some fashion of pride blinders, it's easy to fall victim too. Maybe the next time things aren't going the right way I will understand to check myself first. The important thing to learn and remember when the Lord's Spirit corrects you is that you are not being condemned but instead it is an opportunity to redeem yourself, to change and be better before and through the Lord. Ask for forgiveness of the Father, and anyone involved, then change, prove your sincerity, and through your obedience God's will will be manifested and doors will be opened. Be blessed today and always my friends.
Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
When I did, I didn't like what I saw and was humbled by my actions. I had to apologize, confess where I went wrong and submit myself to the authority of our Sovereign God. I am not going to go in to details of the situation, because frankly it's personal, but I was wrong and have been for awhile, so now that I am aware of it I have to push my pride aside and adjust myself to the Lord's way of thinking. In certain areas of my life I have been struggling for a while, but now I realize if I had submitted in the beginning this could have all been avoided.
Sometimes our pride blocks us from seeing that truth, even when we think we are living in alignment with The Lord's will for us it's easy to get side tracked or blinded by the attitude of 'I'm doing everything right.' Pride and over confidence can be dangerous blinders because they can make you believe exactly what you want to believe. You can see the world exactly as you want and fault will always lay at someone else's feet. But what's the cost? What are you doing to that relationship? What are you doing to that person you are blaming or putting down?
If you stay close to The Lord eventually the light will break through and the truth will be seen. It's important once you know the truth, once you realize you were wrong that you get in obedience to The Lord. Whatever needs done to fix the situation, do it no matter how hard because by doing so you can start the process of healing. For me, this time it was humbling myself and apologizing. Apologizing to God and to the person I wronged, and now I have to change myself. I have to change what I was doing so that I am in line with God's will over my life and so I am no longer hurting this person with my wrong actions towards them. Trusting His will means obedience, and obedience to the Lord often means being humble.
I think we are all guilty of some fashion of pride blinders, it's easy to fall victim too. Maybe the next time things aren't going the right way I will understand to check myself first. The important thing to learn and remember when the Lord's Spirit corrects you is that you are not being condemned but instead it is an opportunity to redeem yourself, to change and be better before and through the Lord. Ask for forgiveness of the Father, and anyone involved, then change, prove your sincerity, and through your obedience God's will will be manifested and doors will be opened. Be blessed today and always my friends.
Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Checked off my list
Friday morning I finally did something I've always wanted too, finally achieved a life long dream. I am very proud if myself, but I am not forgetting that it wasn't me alone. I couldn't have done it without God's direction, without his help of putting the right people in my path to give me the right information at the right time. I couldn't have done it without my family and their support, and the followers here who have posted encouraging things to support me.
I am amazed honestly that I went through with it, and this morning when I checked it off my to do list for my 2014 goals I felt amazed all over again. I have had many dreams over the years, and most unfulfilled, so to accomplish something I've wanted so badly, for so long, is something unexplainable. But it has taught me something too, something that made me smile when I looked at my goals list, it can be done. Dreams can be achieved, you just have to dedicate yourself to it.
So, no matter what happens with my first short book, I did it. It may be a complete flop, but I did it. And because I did it, I feel like I can do more and better. I already have three novels in the process now, I have no idea how long it will take, but I'm working on it. I feel different about my future now, like there are more possibilities. But it's all in God's hands.
What's my point today? Why am I just going on bragging? Well, not really trying to brag, actually I'm trying to say, if I can do it, so can you. Trust God and offer up your whole heart to Him and He will help you to achieve your dreams, or take you to places that you never imagined before. With God the possibilities are endless.
Psalm 56:4
In God, whose word I praise--in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
For my readers who are interested in purchasing my book this is the link:
Http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JXNCPIU
I am amazed honestly that I went through with it, and this morning when I checked it off my to do list for my 2014 goals I felt amazed all over again. I have had many dreams over the years, and most unfulfilled, so to accomplish something I've wanted so badly, for so long, is something unexplainable. But it has taught me something too, something that made me smile when I looked at my goals list, it can be done. Dreams can be achieved, you just have to dedicate yourself to it.
So, no matter what happens with my first short book, I did it. It may be a complete flop, but I did it. And because I did it, I feel like I can do more and better. I already have three novels in the process now, I have no idea how long it will take, but I'm working on it. I feel different about my future now, like there are more possibilities. But it's all in God's hands.
What's my point today? Why am I just going on bragging? Well, not really trying to brag, actually I'm trying to say, if I can do it, so can you. Trust God and offer up your whole heart to Him and He will help you to achieve your dreams, or take you to places that you never imagined before. With God the possibilities are endless.
Psalm 56:4
In God, whose word I praise--in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
For my readers who are interested in purchasing my book this is the link:
Http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JXNCPIU
Thursday, April 24, 2014
One Moment Changed Everything
I used to hate myself, I hated who I was, what my future looked like, and what my life was like. I struggled everyday with making the decision to live at all, I didn't feel like I had anything to live for. My life was a wreck and honestly, I got sick a lot just thinking about how I lived at that time. I had no money, no food, and my roommate wasn't any help financially, or around the house. My boyfriend at the time made a habit out of cheating on me, neglecting me, and when he was around, manipulating me. I never saw my family, and my 'friends' were less than healthy for my fragile mental state at the time. I had a bad habit of taking pain pills and mixing them alcohol to numb the pain, anxiety, and depression. Panic attacks were a daily occurrence, usually at least two a day. My life was spiraling out of control, and I was at a loss of how to stop it. Everyday seemed hopeless, and pointless, I couldn't see how it was ever going to get better, but I continued to go to church and pray because I just didn't know what else to do. But to be truthful, I really didn't expect God to help me, I felt like I was living so wrong that despite claiming to be saved and a Christian that I was still going to go to hell, I felt like there was no way He could love or forgive me. I didn't believe I deserved to be helped and healed, I was liar, I was bad daughter, I was selfish, and I was an angry cruel person at times, I was right that I didn't deserve it, but Christ had already given it to me.
Why am I sharing all that with you? Because I know I write a lot of upbeat, encouraging, and sometimes make you think post. But it's not how life always is or was. Sometimes we go through really dark places. Sometimes it seems like there will never be light again. I've realized lately that all the positivity is great, and helps to keep me on track with my healing, but someone reading this may not realize just how much it took to get here. They may need to know that you can be completely broken, on the brink of destruction, and God can pull you out of that place and change everything in one moment.
For me, the moment that changed everything was when I met my husband. My boyfriend at the time had just broken up with me with the strange words that God told him I was meant for someone else and he was waiting on me. I was really vulnerable when I met Nick, and honestly scared. I was used to everyone in my world taking advantage of me, but meeting him was God's plan. God placed us in each other's path, I have never doubted this and where we are now is a testimony to that.
It's taken a lot of work over the last five and half years to get to where I am mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spiritually. So why do I say one moment changed everything? Why do I say it was the moment I met my husband? I say that because, the moment I met him I had hope again. I had a reason to believe I could get out of my situation and I had someone who supported and encouraged me to do just that. If I had never met my husband I know I would not be in a good place, I was heading down a path of destruction, but God heard my pleas and put my husband in my path to help me find my way out of the darkness.
We have our good days and bad days, we both suffer from anxiety and depression, but I am not where I used to be. I have hope now, I believe we will have a good future together, and I have a better relationship with God now than I ever could have imagined. So I want you to know, no matter where you are in life, God can change your circumstances. He can save you if you want Him too. You don't have to live life beat down and hopeless, it can get better. I know because I was there and came through it with God and my husband. Life doesn't have to be miserable, everyday doesn't have to a struggle, there is hope with The Lord.
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Why am I sharing all that with you? Because I know I write a lot of upbeat, encouraging, and sometimes make you think post. But it's not how life always is or was. Sometimes we go through really dark places. Sometimes it seems like there will never be light again. I've realized lately that all the positivity is great, and helps to keep me on track with my healing, but someone reading this may not realize just how much it took to get here. They may need to know that you can be completely broken, on the brink of destruction, and God can pull you out of that place and change everything in one moment.
For me, the moment that changed everything was when I met my husband. My boyfriend at the time had just broken up with me with the strange words that God told him I was meant for someone else and he was waiting on me. I was really vulnerable when I met Nick, and honestly scared. I was used to everyone in my world taking advantage of me, but meeting him was God's plan. God placed us in each other's path, I have never doubted this and where we are now is a testimony to that.
It's taken a lot of work over the last five and half years to get to where I am mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spiritually. So why do I say one moment changed everything? Why do I say it was the moment I met my husband? I say that because, the moment I met him I had hope again. I had a reason to believe I could get out of my situation and I had someone who supported and encouraged me to do just that. If I had never met my husband I know I would not be in a good place, I was heading down a path of destruction, but God heard my pleas and put my husband in my path to help me find my way out of the darkness.
We have our good days and bad days, we both suffer from anxiety and depression, but I am not where I used to be. I have hope now, I believe we will have a good future together, and I have a better relationship with God now than I ever could have imagined. So I want you to know, no matter where you are in life, God can change your circumstances. He can save you if you want Him too. You don't have to live life beat down and hopeless, it can get better. I know because I was there and came through it with God and my husband. Life doesn't have to be miserable, everyday doesn't have to a struggle, there is hope with The Lord.
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Understanding my Father
As a caregiver for children my whole perspective of how God works in our lives has changed. Learning to see and understand Him as a parent rather than a divine deity has helped me to grow in my relationship with Him, because I can now understand why things happen a certain way sometimes, or certain things continue even after I have prayed about them. It took a while to get to this point and I had to change a lot of actions and reactions to situations but as I learn to see God as my Father I am learning to trust Him more. It was difficult at first not to see Him as some far away deity looking down on us without much of the love for us that I now know He has, but when I thought about how much I love the kids I take care of, and the ones I have cared for in the past, and that God's love is more than that, I started to understand why prayers aren't always answered, or at least in the way we wanted.
If you have kids or have cared for them you know it's a balance between giving them what they want, what they need, and teaching them responsibility, respect, and gratitude. God wants us to be happy because He loves us, He wants to give us the desires of our heart, (see Psalm 37:4,) and honestly when you think of your child or children you care for, you know it's true because its what you want for them. But as a responsible parent/caregiver you know you can't just hand them everything they want because it will spoil them and cause them to be greedy, selfish, and ungrateful. So what do you do?
You find the balance, you give them something's just because you love them, you provide for all their needs, but you also withhold certain things because you know in the long run its not good for them. Or for other things you make them earn it, and work for it so they will understand its value. It's funny but I didn't realize it was the same with God until I had a conversation with a 6 year old and had to explain why he couldn't have a cookie but his brother could. It hurt me to see him so upset, because I wanted him to be happy, but I knew if I rewarded his bad behavior with a treat I would be teaching him that he could misbehave and still get what he wants, it was then that I realized my prayers weren't being ignored by God, it was simply that I was a misbehaving child demanding my own way without doing anything to deserve it.
Since then I have learned to look at things differently when they aren't going my way. I try to understand from a parent's/caregiver's perspective what the reason might be that things are a certain way, and now more often than not I find the fault to be my own, and no longer blame God. I trust now that my Father is doing what is best for me, because that's what I try to do for the children in my charge. I understand now that God is not just pulling strings as a puppet master that controls the universe, but He is patiently loving us, and teaching us as a Father. Be blessed.
Proverbs 6:23
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Hebrews 5:7-9
7 During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. 8 Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered 9 and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him
If you have kids or have cared for them you know it's a balance between giving them what they want, what they need, and teaching them responsibility, respect, and gratitude. God wants us to be happy because He loves us, He wants to give us the desires of our heart, (see Psalm 37:4,) and honestly when you think of your child or children you care for, you know it's true because its what you want for them. But as a responsible parent/caregiver you know you can't just hand them everything they want because it will spoil them and cause them to be greedy, selfish, and ungrateful. So what do you do?
You find the balance, you give them something's just because you love them, you provide for all their needs, but you also withhold certain things because you know in the long run its not good for them. Or for other things you make them earn it, and work for it so they will understand its value. It's funny but I didn't realize it was the same with God until I had a conversation with a 6 year old and had to explain why he couldn't have a cookie but his brother could. It hurt me to see him so upset, because I wanted him to be happy, but I knew if I rewarded his bad behavior with a treat I would be teaching him that he could misbehave and still get what he wants, it was then that I realized my prayers weren't being ignored by God, it was simply that I was a misbehaving child demanding my own way without doing anything to deserve it.
Since then I have learned to look at things differently when they aren't going my way. I try to understand from a parent's/caregiver's perspective what the reason might be that things are a certain way, and now more often than not I find the fault to be my own, and no longer blame God. I trust now that my Father is doing what is best for me, because that's what I try to do for the children in my charge. I understand now that God is not just pulling strings as a puppet master that controls the universe, but He is patiently loving us, and teaching us as a Father. Be blessed.
Proverbs 6:23
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Hebrews 5:7-9
7 During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. 8 Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered 9 and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Time Changes Much
Today is 6 months since I started blogging, and it's kind of crazy to me that I have been at this for so long. Following through with things that I wanted to do was always a problem for me. Anything that has involved a commitment and dedication was something I met with enthusiasm then dropped off with in time, except relationships. But I have surprised myself by staying steady with this, and even more than that I have been surprised by the support I have received from my followers, and family, support for the blog, my books, and my business.
6 months ago when I started this blog I did not expect to have over 600 followers, I did not expect to be writing everyday, and I didn't expect for my writing to be reaching people. I really started this just because I wanted to get one of my books published, I just wanted to prove to myself and everyone I used to know who doubted me, that I could do it and blogging was something that was suggested to me to help get the book out and make people aware of my writing, but I didn't actually expect that I would keep up with it.
Now things are different, now it's not just about getting my name out there and my book, it's about spreading the love of Christ and proclaiming His glory. What changed in 6 months? My heart. I have loved the Lord for a long time and I was saved at 18, but I didn't really start trying to live for God until about 4 years ago. And when I started this blog, I didn't plan on it being all about Him, but that's what happened.
One day about 5 months ago I was having trouble finding what I should write that day so I prayed, and I've been doing it ever since because it always seems to work, it always gives me direction.
This blog has actually taught me a lot, and strengthened my relationship with God in a way I never imagined. And at the same time it has taught me, strengthened me, and allowed me a venue to express myself it has blessed me another way, by knowing that I am helping others, inspiring others, and teaching!
Someone a couple of weeks ago called me 'rabbi' which I know many of you know means teacher. I was flabbergasted by that, but then I thought about it, and it really made me aware of what had been going on with my blog. I never realized that my words were truly hitting people until I read that word. And when I realized it I went back and read a lot of my blogs, and I changed my profile a bit because somewhere along the way, sometime after I prayed and asked God to give me His words, and the messages He wanted me to share, it went from being all about me and my thoughts to all about Him and how He can work in a life.
I am so grateful for everyone who is following my blogs, for those who are interested in my books, but I am most grateful to know that I am helping and encouraging others. I am grateful for the change in myself and for what God is still doing in my life. I am grateful that the more I surrender to Him the more I feel whole. God's love does amazing things and takes us to incredible places, if we are willing to submit. Today, 6 months after I started a selfish venture I am grateful that God has taken it over and is using it for his purpose, not mine.
Joshua 24:14-15
“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
6 months ago when I started this blog I did not expect to have over 600 followers, I did not expect to be writing everyday, and I didn't expect for my writing to be reaching people. I really started this just because I wanted to get one of my books published, I just wanted to prove to myself and everyone I used to know who doubted me, that I could do it and blogging was something that was suggested to me to help get the book out and make people aware of my writing, but I didn't actually expect that I would keep up with it.
Now things are different, now it's not just about getting my name out there and my book, it's about spreading the love of Christ and proclaiming His glory. What changed in 6 months? My heart. I have loved the Lord for a long time and I was saved at 18, but I didn't really start trying to live for God until about 4 years ago. And when I started this blog, I didn't plan on it being all about Him, but that's what happened.
One day about 5 months ago I was having trouble finding what I should write that day so I prayed, and I've been doing it ever since because it always seems to work, it always gives me direction.
This blog has actually taught me a lot, and strengthened my relationship with God in a way I never imagined. And at the same time it has taught me, strengthened me, and allowed me a venue to express myself it has blessed me another way, by knowing that I am helping others, inspiring others, and teaching!
Someone a couple of weeks ago called me 'rabbi' which I know many of you know means teacher. I was flabbergasted by that, but then I thought about it, and it really made me aware of what had been going on with my blog. I never realized that my words were truly hitting people until I read that word. And when I realized it I went back and read a lot of my blogs, and I changed my profile a bit because somewhere along the way, sometime after I prayed and asked God to give me His words, and the messages He wanted me to share, it went from being all about me and my thoughts to all about Him and how He can work in a life.
I am so grateful for everyone who is following my blogs, for those who are interested in my books, but I am most grateful to know that I am helping and encouraging others. I am grateful for the change in myself and for what God is still doing in my life. I am grateful that the more I surrender to Him the more I feel whole. God's love does amazing things and takes us to incredible places, if we are willing to submit. Today, 6 months after I started a selfish venture I am grateful that God has taken it over and is using it for his purpose, not mine.
Joshua 24:14-15
“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Monday, April 21, 2014
To change your life you must commit to the decision
I posted a comment this morning that was "To change your life you must commit to the decision," I'm not targeting anyone specific with that before I get asked, its just something I was thinking about this morning when I got awake and my whole drive into work. I thought about how I used to be, and who I used to be. I thought about how I used to live, and how I live now. I was comparing and contrasting, and really impressed with how far I've come, I even woke up without my mind panicking and racing for the first time today, instead I woke up praying!
It wasn't easy getting here, it has taken a lot of prayer, dedication, and hard work. I've had set backs, and anyone who has been reading this for a while knows I have had some good days and some not so good days, but it's getting better! The work is paying off, this morning was evidence of that.
It can be so hard to get up and force yourself to do your coping tools, most days I don't feel like doing them at all. But what I have realized, and what my statement is all about is that once you decide you want to or need to change your life it HAS to be a commitment. You have to make your coping mechanisms part of your everyday life and routine. It has to be part of your lifestyle, so much so that eventually its just habit and you do it without thinking, like when I woke up this morning and immediately started to pray. I have been forcing myself to do it for months now, missing many days, but once I realized what the chaos in my head was doing I'd remember and start talking to God instead of listening to the all the discord.
Prayer is probably my most used and most effective coping mechanism, but its not my only one. For anyone struggling the way I have in the past, I really suggest exercise, even for just five or ten minutes a day, it makes a huge difference in balancing the chemicals in your brain. Also I find spending time in the Bible to be helpful, and writing, but I know not everyone is a writer that's just what works for me, maybe for you it might be painting, or crafting. Another great tool, cut out the negative influences in your life and replace them with the positive. That's something I have done in the past couple years that has helped more than I imagined.
I hope that if you are struggling with anxiety and depression that you are able to find your way out. Know that it won't be easy, but it is worth it. It's not an overnight thing either, there's no magic pill, just hard work and dedication, but the rewards are amazing. I am seeing and experiencing life in a way that I haven't since I was a kid, life feels different now, it feels good, and I feel hope again for the future.
Psalm 37:5
Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.
It wasn't easy getting here, it has taken a lot of prayer, dedication, and hard work. I've had set backs, and anyone who has been reading this for a while knows I have had some good days and some not so good days, but it's getting better! The work is paying off, this morning was evidence of that.
It can be so hard to get up and force yourself to do your coping tools, most days I don't feel like doing them at all. But what I have realized, and what my statement is all about is that once you decide you want to or need to change your life it HAS to be a commitment. You have to make your coping mechanisms part of your everyday life and routine. It has to be part of your lifestyle, so much so that eventually its just habit and you do it without thinking, like when I woke up this morning and immediately started to pray. I have been forcing myself to do it for months now, missing many days, but once I realized what the chaos in my head was doing I'd remember and start talking to God instead of listening to the all the discord.
Prayer is probably my most used and most effective coping mechanism, but its not my only one. For anyone struggling the way I have in the past, I really suggest exercise, even for just five or ten minutes a day, it makes a huge difference in balancing the chemicals in your brain. Also I find spending time in the Bible to be helpful, and writing, but I know not everyone is a writer that's just what works for me, maybe for you it might be painting, or crafting. Another great tool, cut out the negative influences in your life and replace them with the positive. That's something I have done in the past couple years that has helped more than I imagined.
I hope that if you are struggling with anxiety and depression that you are able to find your way out. Know that it won't be easy, but it is worth it. It's not an overnight thing either, there's no magic pill, just hard work and dedication, but the rewards are amazing. I am seeing and experiencing life in a way that I haven't since I was a kid, life feels different now, it feels good, and I feel hope again for the future.
Psalm 37:5
Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.
Mathew 28:1-10
I wanted to post his yesterday, but I never really got a chance. So a date late here it is:
Jesus Has Risen
After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.
The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”
So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Matthew 27:57-66
The Burial of Jesus
As evening approached, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who had himself become a disciple of Jesus. Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body, and Pilate ordered that it be given to him. Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were sitting there opposite the tomb.
The Guard at the Tomb
The next day, the one after Preparation Day, the chief priests and the Pharisees went to Pilate. “Sir,” they said, “we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, ‘After three days I will rise again.’ So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first.”
“Take a guard,” Pilate answered. “Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how.” So they went and made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone and posting the guard.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Matthew 26:36-56
Gethsemane
Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter.“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”
Jesus Arrested
While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people.Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.
Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”
Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.
“Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”
In that hour Jesus said to the crowd, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I sat in the temple courts teaching, and you did not arrest me. But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
The Gift
If you put together something special as a gift for a loved one and they didn't appreciate it, or were ungrateful, or simply tried to give it back how would you feel? How much would it hurt to have this thing you crafted out of love be rejected? Something you meant to bring this person joy? Something you hoped they would share with others?
I bet you would be deeply hurt, I know I would be, and I believe that's how God feels when we reject His son. Jesus's death on the cross was a gift. His blood shed was the gift of salvation, and whether we deserve it or not, whether we appreciate it or not, it's there for us, waiting to be accepted and rejoiced over. This is an open gift to all the world, we all have a chance to know, hear and accept Him. But we also all have the free will to choose.
I am not writing a lot today, and it's because as we go into the holy days of remembrance for the crucifixion and resurrection I think it is more important to remind ourselves how precious this gift is than to focus on anything else. So I will not be writing anymore today or for the rest of the week, and I will only be sharing a passages from the Bible and old post. I pray for you all as we approach resurrection day. I ask for blessings and mercy on us all, and that we may remember and appreciate the gift given to us, that we make an attempt each day to share it, and show gratitude for it. Be blessed in Jesus holy name, amen.
John 10:7-18
I bet you would be deeply hurt, I know I would be, and I believe that's how God feels when we reject His son. Jesus's death on the cross was a gift. His blood shed was the gift of salvation, and whether we deserve it or not, whether we appreciate it or not, it's there for us, waiting to be accepted and rejoiced over. This is an open gift to all the world, we all have a chance to know, hear and accept Him. But we also all have the free will to choose.
I am not writing a lot today, and it's because as we go into the holy days of remembrance for the crucifixion and resurrection I think it is more important to remind ourselves how precious this gift is than to focus on anything else. So I will not be writing anymore today or for the rest of the week, and I will only be sharing a passages from the Bible and old post. I pray for you all as we approach resurrection day. I ask for blessings and mercy on us all, and that we may remember and appreciate the gift given to us, that we make an attempt each day to share it, and show gratitude for it. Be blessed in Jesus holy name, amen.
John 10:7-18
7 Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. 8 All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. 9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17 The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Assumptions, Misunderstandings, and Truth
We all assume things, usually by physical appearance alone. We think we can judge someone by the way they dress; who they are with; or read between the lines in a conversation to see something that may not actually be there. We create an image of this person or certain group, or situation in our minds and believe it so much that to us it becomes truth, without any actual facts to back it up. We are all guilty of this at some point or another; in one fashion or another. It just seems to be human nature to think we know more than we actually do. But that doesn't make it right.
The Pharisees assumed that because they knew the law of Moses that they could recognize the Messiah, but when he came they believed Jesus to be a dangerous Rabbi and did not recognize him for who he was. They had knowledge, but not understanding, and their own assumptions of what the Messiah would be and do kept them from seeing God's glory. How often are we like the Pharisees? How often do we let our own assumptions of a situation or person keep us from God's glory?
I am not trying to cut anyone down, and I hope no one feels bad reading this. It's just something that's part of life, it is a flesh reaction, but it's not part of God's plan of how we should be treating other. We are meant to bless each other with kindness and understanding. We are meant to lift one another up. Misunderstandings happen and when they do we should meet them with forgiveness, grace and love, but we should also make the effort to not let it happen in the first place. Before meeting someone with judgment based on your own assumptions, try to understand that person's perspective. Before responding to a situation or comment take a minute to think from that person's point of view, when we meet someone where they are and make an effort to know the truth we will often be surprised by how much farther we can get with people and how they become more receptive to what we have to say. We may also find out what we thought we knew was nothing more than our own assumption. It's not easy to do all the time, and honestly it doesn't always work when you do try, but having a willingness to understand instead of just assumptions, opens many more doors. Today my goal is to give the benefit of the doubt, give a chance for someone to tell me the truth before I think that I know it all, and to met everyone with understanding instead of judgment.
Job 28:20-24
The Pharisees assumed that because they knew the law of Moses that they could recognize the Messiah, but when he came they believed Jesus to be a dangerous Rabbi and did not recognize him for who he was. They had knowledge, but not understanding, and their own assumptions of what the Messiah would be and do kept them from seeing God's glory. How often are we like the Pharisees? How often do we let our own assumptions of a situation or person keep us from God's glory?
I am not trying to cut anyone down, and I hope no one feels bad reading this. It's just something that's part of life, it is a flesh reaction, but it's not part of God's plan of how we should be treating other. We are meant to bless each other with kindness and understanding. We are meant to lift one another up. Misunderstandings happen and when they do we should meet them with forgiveness, grace and love, but we should also make the effort to not let it happen in the first place. Before meeting someone with judgment based on your own assumptions, try to understand that person's perspective. Before responding to a situation or comment take a minute to think from that person's point of view, when we meet someone where they are and make an effort to know the truth we will often be surprised by how much farther we can get with people and how they become more receptive to what we have to say. We may also find out what we thought we knew was nothing more than our own assumption. It's not easy to do all the time, and honestly it doesn't always work when you do try, but having a willingness to understand instead of just assumptions, opens many more doors. Today my goal is to give the benefit of the doubt, give a chance for someone to tell me the truth before I think that I know it all, and to met everyone with understanding instead of judgment.
Job 28:20-24
Where then does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell? It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, concealed even from the birds in the sky. Destruction and Death say, “Only a rumor of it has reached our ears." God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells, for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Battling my Emotions
It's so easy in this life to forget how blessed we are, it's easy to sit back and complain when things don't go our way. We forget that God is so much bigger than it all, and loves us more than we can comprehend. I started my morning that way. I had a rough evening last night and driving into work this morning in the cold and rain I let my mind get away from me and forgot how blessed I am. I sat in my car going over and over the emotions that had me down. I replayed them getting more upset over the events than before, letting fear and anger take over. I had a lot of pretty irrational thoughts, but then I posted something on the prayer community I belong to and someone commented with something that was exactly what I needed to hear, he said "You are blessed and highly favored."
Pretty generic I know, but in that moment it was the reminder I needed because it's true. God has blessed me, not everything is perfect and until we go home to glory it won't be but I am still blessed. I have a job, a car, a home, a family, and a loving husband, I am blessed. So, even with this upsetting situation that happened I will refuse to listen to the lies, doubts, fears, and frustrations. The enemy has used this tactic on me before and won, but now I know the game and I know my God is stronger, I know Jesus already gave me victory, I just have to lean on Him and not me.
The enemy hasn't changed his plan of attack because its worked in the past, but I have changed my plan of defense. I have shared the situation and asked for prayers from people I trust, and because of this I feel stronger than ever before. I feel more confident to get through this, knowing that God will see me through and this is only temporary. I know this time that I am not alone and that there are people I can go to, I know I have victory in the Lord already, I just have to keep my eyes on Yeshua. If you read this today and are struggling I want to remind you that God hears our prayers and promises where two or more are gathered in His name He is among them, so don't be afraid to ask for prayer, God is good and keeps His promises, He will use all things for your good if you only ask and seek after Him with all your heart and soul. That's the lesson I have finally learned. Be blessed.
Matthew 18:20
For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.
1 John 3:22
And we will receive from Him whatever we ask because we obey Him and do the things that please Him.
Pretty generic I know, but in that moment it was the reminder I needed because it's true. God has blessed me, not everything is perfect and until we go home to glory it won't be but I am still blessed. I have a job, a car, a home, a family, and a loving husband, I am blessed. So, even with this upsetting situation that happened I will refuse to listen to the lies, doubts, fears, and frustrations. The enemy has used this tactic on me before and won, but now I know the game and I know my God is stronger, I know Jesus already gave me victory, I just have to lean on Him and not me.
The enemy hasn't changed his plan of attack because its worked in the past, but I have changed my plan of defense. I have shared the situation and asked for prayers from people I trust, and because of this I feel stronger than ever before. I feel more confident to get through this, knowing that God will see me through and this is only temporary. I know this time that I am not alone and that there are people I can go to, I know I have victory in the Lord already, I just have to keep my eyes on Yeshua. If you read this today and are struggling I want to remind you that God hears our prayers and promises where two or more are gathered in His name He is among them, so don't be afraid to ask for prayer, God is good and keeps His promises, He will use all things for your good if you only ask and seek after Him with all your heart and soul. That's the lesson I have finally learned. Be blessed.
Matthew 18:20
For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.
1 John 3:22
And we will receive from Him whatever we ask because we obey Him and do the things that please Him.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Love Them Anyway
Often I find myself singing a song by the Sidewalk Prophets called 'You Love Me Anyway' one part in particular always sticks with me. I want to share this part of the song with you, and I want you to imagine as you read it, just for a minute being Jesus and how much hurt He must have felt to die for those being unloving to Him, but doing it anyway because He loves us so much that our forgiveness is more important. Can you imagine it? Can you imagine dying for someone who hates you? Can you image being beaten and tortured then paraded in front of a crowd calling for your death? Can you imagine your friend betraying you with a kiss? Here's the lines from the song now.
I am the thorn in your crown but you love me anyway
I am the sweat from your brow but you love me anyway
I am the nail in your wrist but you love me anyway
I am Judas' kiss but you love me anyway
See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For your blood to be spilled on this earth shaken ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury your grace
Every time I hear this song it stirs something inside of me, I try to understand and fathom this kind of love. A love where you would die to save the very people who are persecuting you. These lines really drive that home for me, I always end up with tears in my eyes, because I realize it could only be Jesus, only with God's grace is it possible.
From the moment of our fall from grace in Eden we have been corrupt, and only God's mercy could save us. I know, that for the most part, if you're reading this you are a Christian or at least have some belief in God. I am asking you that each day you do something out of mercy, grace and love for someone whether they deserve it not. Show the world we can love beyond the natural limits, we can love despite the ugliness. Love them anyway, right where they are, because Jesus died for them too, and He loves you right where you are.
Luke 23:34-37
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.
The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”
The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”
Friday, April 11, 2014
Supernatural Powers
Yesterday I had a really bad feeling for most of the day, my head and spirit were in chaos and I couldn't seem to get myself right no matter what I did. I excerised, I listened to worship music, I used self-talk, I talked to Jesus, I talked to friends, and I asked for prayer. I struggled and struggled all day long, and I kept searching for the answer on how to feel better, I knew that the way I was feeling wasn't right and there had to be a way to fix it.
Eventually, I found the right verse, and my day and mood changed instantly! The very moment I spoke it out loud and prayed it in Jesus name the chaos left and I was flooded with a sensation of peace and relaxation. I told my husband about it, and I shared with him the letter I wrote to God that lead me to the answer I needed. He joked that I had super powers, and I told him "Nah, I don't have any powers. God's got all the supernatural powers, I'm just learning how to tap into it."
That's what it's like when you learn how to use scripture to heal, or encourage, or lead to salvation, or comfort, or just get through a day, it's like tapping into a supernatural ability. There is no doubt in my mind that there is a God, and that Christ Jesus was the Messiah sent to save us. There's no doubt because I have seen and experienced the power His name holds and the love the Father has for us.
I know a lot of Christians have not experienced a situation like mine yesterday, and if they have they may not have been taught how to resolve it. Many churches teach scriptures and tell you about God, and Jesus and the miracles preformed by them, but that's where it ends. I know this first hand growing up and attending a very old school, traditional, Presbyterian church. I was never taught to use scripture the way I did yesterday. In fact, I was never really taught that I had a loving father like God who was always present with me. The way I was taught about God, He seemed so far away and almost non-existent. He just sat up there in Heaven and pulled the puppet strings, but that's not the God I know now. If I told my childhood Pastor that I read Matthew 16:23 out loud to an empty room and rebuked satan in the name of Jesus because I was having a bad day he'd probably want to baptize me again or get my head checked out because I had to be crazy! Knowing the law and commandments and doing good deeds was enough for the church I went too, but believing in a supernatural God of healing who was present and could comfort you in distress was a bit much for these people.
I wish growing up someone would have helped me to understand just how loving and powerful God really is. I wish I knew a long time ago that I could submit myself to His will and that in His name the enemy would flee. I was exposed to verses about that as a child, but it was told to me like it was no different than a fairy tale, but it is so different!
The more I learn about God, and the more time I spend with Him the more I realize I can count on Him for everything! He isn't a far away puppet master manipulating us all, but a very real presence that has the ability to heal, and comfort, and do so much more if we are just willing to seek Him out and submit to His will for us. God does not want us to feel bad, no parent wants their child to feel pain, and if you trust Him, and have faith in His word everything can change because He is a supernatural God, creator of the universe, and the most loving Father I have ever known.
Eventually, I found the right verse, and my day and mood changed instantly! The very moment I spoke it out loud and prayed it in Jesus name the chaos left and I was flooded with a sensation of peace and relaxation. I told my husband about it, and I shared with him the letter I wrote to God that lead me to the answer I needed. He joked that I had super powers, and I told him "Nah, I don't have any powers. God's got all the supernatural powers, I'm just learning how to tap into it."
That's what it's like when you learn how to use scripture to heal, or encourage, or lead to salvation, or comfort, or just get through a day, it's like tapping into a supernatural ability. There is no doubt in my mind that there is a God, and that Christ Jesus was the Messiah sent to save us. There's no doubt because I have seen and experienced the power His name holds and the love the Father has for us.
I know a lot of Christians have not experienced a situation like mine yesterday, and if they have they may not have been taught how to resolve it. Many churches teach scriptures and tell you about God, and Jesus and the miracles preformed by them, but that's where it ends. I know this first hand growing up and attending a very old school, traditional, Presbyterian church. I was never taught to use scripture the way I did yesterday. In fact, I was never really taught that I had a loving father like God who was always present with me. The way I was taught about God, He seemed so far away and almost non-existent. He just sat up there in Heaven and pulled the puppet strings, but that's not the God I know now. If I told my childhood Pastor that I read Matthew 16:23 out loud to an empty room and rebuked satan in the name of Jesus because I was having a bad day he'd probably want to baptize me again or get my head checked out because I had to be crazy! Knowing the law and commandments and doing good deeds was enough for the church I went too, but believing in a supernatural God of healing who was present and could comfort you in distress was a bit much for these people.
I wish growing up someone would have helped me to understand just how loving and powerful God really is. I wish I knew a long time ago that I could submit myself to His will and that in His name the enemy would flee. I was exposed to verses about that as a child, but it was told to me like it was no different than a fairy tale, but it is so different!
The more I learn about God, and the more time I spend with Him the more I realize I can count on Him for everything! He isn't a far away puppet master manipulating us all, but a very real presence that has the ability to heal, and comfort, and do so much more if we are just willing to seek Him out and submit to His will for us. God does not want us to feel bad, no parent wants their child to feel pain, and if you trust Him, and have faith in His word everything can change because He is a supernatural God, creator of the universe, and the most loving Father I have ever known.
Matthew 16:23
Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns."
Thursday, April 10, 2014
What Does Your Bible say About you?
The title today was a questioned asked this morning on the Christian radio station I listen too, and I started to think about this question, I really wish they had spent more time talking about it. But what they were talking about was how its interesting to look at someone else's Bible and see what's highlighted or underline, and the notes or papers scribbled on and jammed inside it, that these things can be an intimate look at how God works and touches that person's heart.
It made me think of my great-grandmother, I was very small when she passed away, only five, but I remember her very well and her Bible. I don't know who has her Bible now, but I wish I did I would love to see again. I can remember pretty vividly, her reading to me from it as a little girl. One time in particular that I remember is she was reading the story of the crossing of the Red Sea to me and my younger cousin. I remember as she read to us I saw that she had written notes, and 'colored' in her Bible, I asked her why she did that and if God would be mad at her for wrecking her bible, I had just recently gotten in trouble for coloring in my dad's bible so at five this seemed like a reasonable thought. She was so sweet, I miss her, she explained to me she didn't color in the Bible but marked important things that God wanted her to remember. That was the first time I had ever seen writing or highlighting in a Bible. I can remember the next day playing with her Bible, flipping through the pages and seeing everywhere she marked and asking her to read some of the passages that were marked in the bright yellow highlighter that had faded to an almost orange in many places over time. Looking back, I must have worn her out with all my questions! Her Bible showed me what was important in her life, many of the versus she marked were encouraging, and some were about mourning and loss.
After remembering all of that and thinking on it, and on my own Bibles, I wondered what my Bibles would say about me, what someone else would see flipping through it. I wondered what would my granddaughter remember about my Bible when she was grown. I don't write much in any of my Bibles, and I don't highlight much either. But am I robbing myself? Am I robbing my children and grandchildren? There was a certain sense of joy and pride in spending that time getting know to my great-grandma by looking through her Bible, getting to know her heart and how God spoke to her through His word, and honestly it had a profound effect on my life, it gave me a sense of direction and something to aspire to. I wanted even at five to be a Godly woman like her when I grew up, and now I am wondering if by using technology versus a physical Bible if I am stealing that same direction that she gave to me from someone else in my family line?
Right now if someone asked me to see my Bible and tried to discern what kind of heart I had from looking at it I would look poor indeed. It's never too late too change though. I can start today on leaving behind some seeds. God willing it will bear fruit the way my grandmother's Bible did with me. I am praying to be better, to do better, and hopefully bear fruit that glorifies my Father in heaven.
Jeremiah 9:20
Now, you women, hear the word of The Lord; open your ears to the words of his mouth. Teach your daughters how to wail; teach one another a lament.
It made me think of my great-grandmother, I was very small when she passed away, only five, but I remember her very well and her Bible. I don't know who has her Bible now, but I wish I did I would love to see again. I can remember pretty vividly, her reading to me from it as a little girl. One time in particular that I remember is she was reading the story of the crossing of the Red Sea to me and my younger cousin. I remember as she read to us I saw that she had written notes, and 'colored' in her Bible, I asked her why she did that and if God would be mad at her for wrecking her bible, I had just recently gotten in trouble for coloring in my dad's bible so at five this seemed like a reasonable thought. She was so sweet, I miss her, she explained to me she didn't color in the Bible but marked important things that God wanted her to remember. That was the first time I had ever seen writing or highlighting in a Bible. I can remember the next day playing with her Bible, flipping through the pages and seeing everywhere she marked and asking her to read some of the passages that were marked in the bright yellow highlighter that had faded to an almost orange in many places over time. Looking back, I must have worn her out with all my questions! Her Bible showed me what was important in her life, many of the versus she marked were encouraging, and some were about mourning and loss.
After remembering all of that and thinking on it, and on my own Bibles, I wondered what my Bibles would say about me, what someone else would see flipping through it. I wondered what would my granddaughter remember about my Bible when she was grown. I don't write much in any of my Bibles, and I don't highlight much either. But am I robbing myself? Am I robbing my children and grandchildren? There was a certain sense of joy and pride in spending that time getting know to my great-grandma by looking through her Bible, getting to know her heart and how God spoke to her through His word, and honestly it had a profound effect on my life, it gave me a sense of direction and something to aspire to. I wanted even at five to be a Godly woman like her when I grew up, and now I am wondering if by using technology versus a physical Bible if I am stealing that same direction that she gave to me from someone else in my family line?
Right now if someone asked me to see my Bible and tried to discern what kind of heart I had from looking at it I would look poor indeed. It's never too late too change though. I can start today on leaving behind some seeds. God willing it will bear fruit the way my grandmother's Bible did with me. I am praying to be better, to do better, and hopefully bear fruit that glorifies my Father in heaven.
Jeremiah 9:20
Now, you women, hear the word of The Lord; open your ears to the words of his mouth. Teach your daughters how to wail; teach one another a lament.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Not in my Comfort Zone
Some times God will ask us to do things outside our comfort zone, and it is a really scary thing when He does. I can only speak for myself but, when I feel the spirit leading me to do something there is always fear that pops up too. That fear, I have come to realize, is the devil trying to convince you not to follow, not to obey because he doesn't want to see you unlock the blessing or power that is in obedience.
Every time I have been pushed by the Holy Spirit to do something the doubt and fear come too, but I know that when I put aside those fears, those doubts, that spring forward when I receive instruction, that God will do something amazing. I have seen it over and over again in my life, so I am learning to be obedient regardless of fear.
I can think of many times and examples of instances where I obeyed and was blessed, and where I didn't obey and caused myself unnecessary suffering . I want to make this last statement perfectly clear to anyone reading this, I did not suffer as punishment from God, and it wasn't because God didn't answer my prayer, it was because I was too afraid to obey and made a bad choice as a result. I let doubts, and fears blind me to the fact that my act of obedience would have been the answer to the prayers.
An example of this in particular is, a long time ago I prayed to be free from depression and anxiety. I prayed all the time for this. But whenever I would feel the spirit telling me to take it to the alter, kneel before Him and pray, or ask this person or that person, or stand before the congregation and ask for prayer, I would chicken out because I was afraid to let people know I was hurting and I was afraid to speak up in front of everyone, so I continued to suffer silently. I suffered from this until I finally broke, until I couldn't take living with depression anymore, so at the beginning of this year I decided I was going to break the cycle of depression and its hold on me, and I went up to a complete stranger at church that I felt like the Lord directed me to, and asked her for prayer.
I cried to this person and told her what was going on, and how long I had been battling depression, it's been 14 years of battles. She prayed for me, and with me, and put me on the prayer list for the Women's group. Since that time I have only had a few difficult days, and I am finding it easier now to do the things that help me cope and feel better on those difficult days. I wonder how much sooner I could have been better if I had been obedient in the first place?
This was a tough lesson for me to learn, but I am trying to do better with it now. Sunday at church the Spirit called me out of my comfort zone again. I was told to voice my concern for those struggling with addictions, especially two people in my own life who are battling an addiction to heroin. I was afraid, when it was time to give our joys and concerns to the congregation my fear had turned to panic. But I did it anyway. And as it turned out there was a drug counselor at church that day who wanted to help, and a Gideon, and my Pastor, and so many people just offering prayers. Then the next day my friend called and asked to come to Church with me and my husband.
My point, sometimes unanswered prayers, really weren't unanswered, we are just too afraid to take that next step. We let fear or doubts keep us from stepping out of our comfort zone and doing that act of obedience that would activate the miracle.
2 Chronicles 31:21
In everything that he undertook in the service of God's temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And so he prospered.
Every time I have been pushed by the Holy Spirit to do something the doubt and fear come too, but I know that when I put aside those fears, those doubts, that spring forward when I receive instruction, that God will do something amazing. I have seen it over and over again in my life, so I am learning to be obedient regardless of fear.
I can think of many times and examples of instances where I obeyed and was blessed, and where I didn't obey and caused myself unnecessary suffering . I want to make this last statement perfectly clear to anyone reading this, I did not suffer as punishment from God, and it wasn't because God didn't answer my prayer, it was because I was too afraid to obey and made a bad choice as a result. I let doubts, and fears blind me to the fact that my act of obedience would have been the answer to the prayers.
An example of this in particular is, a long time ago I prayed to be free from depression and anxiety. I prayed all the time for this. But whenever I would feel the spirit telling me to take it to the alter, kneel before Him and pray, or ask this person or that person, or stand before the congregation and ask for prayer, I would chicken out because I was afraid to let people know I was hurting and I was afraid to speak up in front of everyone, so I continued to suffer silently. I suffered from this until I finally broke, until I couldn't take living with depression anymore, so at the beginning of this year I decided I was going to break the cycle of depression and its hold on me, and I went up to a complete stranger at church that I felt like the Lord directed me to, and asked her for prayer.
I cried to this person and told her what was going on, and how long I had been battling depression, it's been 14 years of battles. She prayed for me, and with me, and put me on the prayer list for the Women's group. Since that time I have only had a few difficult days, and I am finding it easier now to do the things that help me cope and feel better on those difficult days. I wonder how much sooner I could have been better if I had been obedient in the first place?
This was a tough lesson for me to learn, but I am trying to do better with it now. Sunday at church the Spirit called me out of my comfort zone again. I was told to voice my concern for those struggling with addictions, especially two people in my own life who are battling an addiction to heroin. I was afraid, when it was time to give our joys and concerns to the congregation my fear had turned to panic. But I did it anyway. And as it turned out there was a drug counselor at church that day who wanted to help, and a Gideon, and my Pastor, and so many people just offering prayers. Then the next day my friend called and asked to come to Church with me and my husband.
My point, sometimes unanswered prayers, really weren't unanswered, we are just too afraid to take that next step. We let fear or doubts keep us from stepping out of our comfort zone and doing that act of obedience that would activate the miracle.
2 Chronicles 31:21
In everything that he undertook in the service of God's temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And so he prospered.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Brokenness Behind A Smile
Last night as my husband and I were talking about the past I know I shocked him with what I shared. Back in 2012 Nick decided to go back to school to get his CDL, we were recently married and he wanted to get a better job to provide for our future family, but due to an anxiety attack when he took the truck out on the highway, he ended up not finishing the course. This was a good thing... for me at least. Something that many people, even my close family members didn't know was, that was the hardest time in our marriage for me. I was severely depressed at this time, and thought about suicide daily several times a day, fantasized about it honestly. I imagined the relief of ending my life, of escaping the depression and anxiety that had held me down since I was a young teen. And I felt guilty because we were newly weds and I was supposed to be happy.
During this time I hardly saw Nick between work and school, and when he found out what I had really been going through he said that he always thought I seemed so proud of him that whole time, that he had no idea I was hurting so much inside. And honestly I was and still am very proud of him even though it didn't work out, it was a big deal to go out on a limb and try, I appreciate the effort he put in and the heart for our family he showed. Everyday I told him how proud I was, and how grateful I was for him, but I hid the pain, guilt and suffering not wanting to burden him while he was working so hard for us. He had no idea what I had been going through while we both worked during the day and he went to school at night. He didn't know that while I was supporting him, encouraging him, and smiling on the surface I was suffering on inside.
No one had a clue to what I was experiencing, no one had any idea that I sat at home alone at night crying uncontrollably, that I wanted to die, that the stress of everything that happened in our families after the wedding had effected so deeply that I felt like expecting to ever be really happy was pointless, that I was starting to believe I was forever cursed and burdened with these feelings of despair. It wouldn't be until a year later before the depression got so bad that I couldn't hide it anymore, that I started to break down at work, and loose control of my emotions entirely. I know someone reading this is wondering why I didn't go get help, why I didn't tell someone. And honestly, I felt like everyone else had much bigger issues to deal with than me being depressed, I was a newly wed, the first year was supposed to the honeymoon stage, I was supposed to be happy. So everyday I painted a smile on my face, pretended life was grand and went about my business, until I would come home from work to an empty house and cry, or binge on food, or make myself sick.
During this time I started to really seek God like never before in my life, really reading the word and looking for the hope it promised. I started praying to God everyday in desperation for relief. I started to pour my heart out to Him through my tears and I began to feel like He was the only friend I had. And truthfully, that relationship I started developing with God is the reason I didn't take my life. When it got too hard, when I really started to give in to those thoughts of ending my life God would remind me of all the people that cared, all the people I would hurt, especially my husband and I couldn't go through with it. My relationship with God saved me, having God's word in my life I was able to keep telling myself God would get me through this and everything was going to be okay if I just hung on, if I just kept pushing. But there was doubt in my mind as everyday seemed to be getting harder, and I started to cry more, breaking down at work when I was alone in my classroom, or other times loosing my temper and being sharp, or angry, and yelling at the people around me. But I still didn't ask for help, I still hid what I was going through, and did my best to play everything off coming up with excuses for my behavior. Finally though God brought me to the end of myself and I surrendered to Him completely, finally I set my pride aside and let Him lead me to healing. I knew then that If I was going to beat this I needed help, and I had to ask for that help before if was too late.
Since then my life has changed drastically, I feel so much better, stronger, and more confident than I have in my entire life. When I finally let go of the pride, fear, guilt and shame of telling people I was hurting and asking for their support, I started to see a difference. But it wasn't until my pride was broken that this could happen, I had to lose my 'I can do it by myself' attitude, this 'I don't need anyone else' mindset. Losing this self-reliant has given me freedom in ways I never imagined. now that I know its okay to say that I need help, I need prayer, I am seeing results in my life like never before. From this I have realized, we need others to pray for us, we need to share our brokenness or how else can we get better? We need to know we aren't the only ones struggling so that we can seek comfort and Godly counsel in one another, so we can lift each other up.
Why did I share this story today? Not only because of my conversation last night with my husband, but because the world needs to know we are broken too, that Christians aren't perfect, that we all have past, that pain is in all of us, and that in God there is comfort for that pain. We need to share our brokenness with each other, because it is through the sharing of hurts that we all become stronger, we can heal better when we share it with someone else, and be an inspiration to someone else going through the same thing. I urge you not to hide your brokenness, but ask for prayer and comfort so that the Father can heal and restore you! God Bless and thank you for reading.
Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
Jeremiah 33:6
Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and let them enjoy abundant peace and security.
Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
During this time I hardly saw Nick between work and school, and when he found out what I had really been going through he said that he always thought I seemed so proud of him that whole time, that he had no idea I was hurting so much inside. And honestly I was and still am very proud of him even though it didn't work out, it was a big deal to go out on a limb and try, I appreciate the effort he put in and the heart for our family he showed. Everyday I told him how proud I was, and how grateful I was for him, but I hid the pain, guilt and suffering not wanting to burden him while he was working so hard for us. He had no idea what I had been going through while we both worked during the day and he went to school at night. He didn't know that while I was supporting him, encouraging him, and smiling on the surface I was suffering on inside.
No one had a clue to what I was experiencing, no one had any idea that I sat at home alone at night crying uncontrollably, that I wanted to die, that the stress of everything that happened in our families after the wedding had effected so deeply that I felt like expecting to ever be really happy was pointless, that I was starting to believe I was forever cursed and burdened with these feelings of despair. It wouldn't be until a year later before the depression got so bad that I couldn't hide it anymore, that I started to break down at work, and loose control of my emotions entirely. I know someone reading this is wondering why I didn't go get help, why I didn't tell someone. And honestly, I felt like everyone else had much bigger issues to deal with than me being depressed, I was a newly wed, the first year was supposed to the honeymoon stage, I was supposed to be happy. So everyday I painted a smile on my face, pretended life was grand and went about my business, until I would come home from work to an empty house and cry, or binge on food, or make myself sick.
During this time I started to really seek God like never before in my life, really reading the word and looking for the hope it promised. I started praying to God everyday in desperation for relief. I started to pour my heart out to Him through my tears and I began to feel like He was the only friend I had. And truthfully, that relationship I started developing with God is the reason I didn't take my life. When it got too hard, when I really started to give in to those thoughts of ending my life God would remind me of all the people that cared, all the people I would hurt, especially my husband and I couldn't go through with it. My relationship with God saved me, having God's word in my life I was able to keep telling myself God would get me through this and everything was going to be okay if I just hung on, if I just kept pushing. But there was doubt in my mind as everyday seemed to be getting harder, and I started to cry more, breaking down at work when I was alone in my classroom, or other times loosing my temper and being sharp, or angry, and yelling at the people around me. But I still didn't ask for help, I still hid what I was going through, and did my best to play everything off coming up with excuses for my behavior. Finally though God brought me to the end of myself and I surrendered to Him completely, finally I set my pride aside and let Him lead me to healing. I knew then that If I was going to beat this I needed help, and I had to ask for that help before if was too late.
Since then my life has changed drastically, I feel so much better, stronger, and more confident than I have in my entire life. When I finally let go of the pride, fear, guilt and shame of telling people I was hurting and asking for their support, I started to see a difference. But it wasn't until my pride was broken that this could happen, I had to lose my 'I can do it by myself' attitude, this 'I don't need anyone else' mindset. Losing this self-reliant has given me freedom in ways I never imagined. now that I know its okay to say that I need help, I need prayer, I am seeing results in my life like never before. From this I have realized, we need others to pray for us, we need to share our brokenness or how else can we get better? We need to know we aren't the only ones struggling so that we can seek comfort and Godly counsel in one another, so we can lift each other up.
Why did I share this story today? Not only because of my conversation last night with my husband, but because the world needs to know we are broken too, that Christians aren't perfect, that we all have past, that pain is in all of us, and that in God there is comfort for that pain. We need to share our brokenness with each other, because it is through the sharing of hurts that we all become stronger, we can heal better when we share it with someone else, and be an inspiration to someone else going through the same thing. I urge you not to hide your brokenness, but ask for prayer and comfort so that the Father can heal and restore you! God Bless and thank you for reading.
Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
Jeremiah 33:6
Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and let them enjoy abundant peace and security.
Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Repentance versus Love
I often see many Christians go back and forth arguing with each other which message is more important, which needs to be preached to the masses more to bring people to God, and some even arguing as to which is the true message. The church often just seems confused, some calling these love messages watered down Christianity, while some others see these Christians preaching the message of repantance as old fashioned fire and brimstone preachers teaching a God of condemnation. I could be very wrong, because The Lord knows I am not perfect, but I think both sides might be missing it. From everything I have read in the Bible and even experienced on my walk, it's both.
From what I have come to understand, even the message of repentance comes from love, because it is not a call to simply confess your sins but to change and make yourself righteous before The Lord. That is what John was preaching in the wilderness and that is what is often missing in many of the messages preached by these Christians who talk only of God's love and forgiveness. They politely skip over the fact that even though God love's us unconditionally and wants us to have a blessed and abundant life, that we can't do it simply by saying I'm sorry God and not changing our lifestyle, because than our words were meaningless, there was no heart in it. God does require a change in us but it's not something we do on our own, we do it with the help of His Holy Spirit, He requires us to abandon our old way of life and step forward new and clean; following after Him and walking in His ways. This is why the disciples left everything behind to follow Jesus, it is an example of sacrificing an old life, a sinful life, for a righteous one with Christ. And God asks us to do this out of love for us, He wants us to change because left to this life on our own, in this world we will be lead to destruction, and an eternity separated from His presence.
Now about our fire and brimstone brothers and sisters, they certainly have it right that we must repent before The Lord, we must cast off our old selves and old ways and become new in Christ, I cannot, and will not argue that. Where do I see that they are missing it? Some, not all, but some focus so much on the condemnation of our sinful life that they leave little room for God's love to change you. They beat you down so heavily with the fact that you are a sinner that its easy to feel low, discouraged, and unworthy. Which is not the way God wants us to feel, loving and serving God should not feel like we are serving a cruel and demeaning master, because if that were the case we couldn't love God. We instinctively hate things that cause us pain and avoid it, that's why messages of repentance and condemnation that are not paired with a love message often fail to bring people to God.
Both messages are right, both are good but not by themselves. If we want to bring people to God and show them who our Father is we need to teach both. We need to stop bickering amongst ourselves about who knows God's word best, and who is reading from the right or wrong translation. It's not about that, it's about God. It's about spreading His light by our actions, we are His hands and feet here on earth and the sooner we start working together instead of fighting the sooner we will see change.
Revelation 2:21
I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling.
1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourself by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply from the heart.
From what I have come to understand, even the message of repentance comes from love, because it is not a call to simply confess your sins but to change and make yourself righteous before The Lord. That is what John was preaching in the wilderness and that is what is often missing in many of the messages preached by these Christians who talk only of God's love and forgiveness. They politely skip over the fact that even though God love's us unconditionally and wants us to have a blessed and abundant life, that we can't do it simply by saying I'm sorry God and not changing our lifestyle, because than our words were meaningless, there was no heart in it. God does require a change in us but it's not something we do on our own, we do it with the help of His Holy Spirit, He requires us to abandon our old way of life and step forward new and clean; following after Him and walking in His ways. This is why the disciples left everything behind to follow Jesus, it is an example of sacrificing an old life, a sinful life, for a righteous one with Christ. And God asks us to do this out of love for us, He wants us to change because left to this life on our own, in this world we will be lead to destruction, and an eternity separated from His presence.
Now about our fire and brimstone brothers and sisters, they certainly have it right that we must repent before The Lord, we must cast off our old selves and old ways and become new in Christ, I cannot, and will not argue that. Where do I see that they are missing it? Some, not all, but some focus so much on the condemnation of our sinful life that they leave little room for God's love to change you. They beat you down so heavily with the fact that you are a sinner that its easy to feel low, discouraged, and unworthy. Which is not the way God wants us to feel, loving and serving God should not feel like we are serving a cruel and demeaning master, because if that were the case we couldn't love God. We instinctively hate things that cause us pain and avoid it, that's why messages of repentance and condemnation that are not paired with a love message often fail to bring people to God.
Both messages are right, both are good but not by themselves. If we want to bring people to God and show them who our Father is we need to teach both. We need to stop bickering amongst ourselves about who knows God's word best, and who is reading from the right or wrong translation. It's not about that, it's about God. It's about spreading His light by our actions, we are His hands and feet here on earth and the sooner we start working together instead of fighting the sooner we will see change.
Revelation 2:21
I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling.
1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourself by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply from the heart.
Friday, April 4, 2014
The Trap
I said the prayer of salvation for the first time as a child, I was about 5 years old at that time and I didn't really understand it at all. I had no clue what it meant to be saved and the kind of life a saved person should live. I had no idea that what I was really saying was 'Lord let me serve you with a loving heart." No one explained to me what it meant to be a Christian other than you believe in God and that Jesus was His son who died for your sins. I didn't grow up in a church, but there was one I attended sometimes by my house with friends, and occasionally I would go with one of my grandma's on Sundays to the church where I first said the prayer of salvation. This lack of instruction about faith left me really vulnerable to the ways of the world, without a genuine foundation or knowledge of who God was most of what I knew bout Him came from the world. This quickly left me very confused, especially after I began suffering from anxiety and depression around the age of 12. Not long after that I began drinking and smoking cigarettes, in a stupid and desperate attempt at coping.
Then in my junior year of high school I got really sick and spent most of the year at home in bed, at the doctors, or in the hospital. It was during this time that I started looking at where I was heading and not being satisfied with myself or my choices, but I wouldn't actually make a change then, instead I continued on that path not believing I could change it. A year later I decided what was missing in my life was a relationship with God after hearing a fiery sermon given by an old timey Reverend at the church my mom was making us go to at the time. Hearing his sermon on sin and it's consequences, I knew I needed to change my life. So in May 2006 I gave my life to God a second time, but I really didn't have an idea of what it meant still. I knew what I thought it meant, but I've realized since then I was wrong, it was a very shallow understanding of things, and I now that I have learned better I see a lot of people falling into this same trap that I did.
If I am really honest, at that time in my life when I said the prayer of salvation it was less because I really wanted a relationship with God, and more because I was afraid of going to hell. And the fact that the boy I liked at that time also said he was a Christian, helped to influence this decision. So I said the prayer, but I still had no one guiding me, no one helping me to understand what it meant to be Christian, no one explaining to me what repentance really was, or what it meant to walk in His ways, despite spending every Sunday and Wednesday at church. I ended up in a lifestyle of working hard all week, getting drunk at party's every weekend, then confessing my sins on Sunday, without any desire or reason to change. I still told more lies than I could keep straight, and was callous and cold with the people around me. I claimed to love God, to be a Christian, to be saved, but I was really a hypocrite and I couldn't see it. I had said the prayer and that was all that mattered, I was going to heaven no matter what I did, or so I thought.
I didn't know I had been deceived, I didn't know that I was one of the ones who would hear "Depart me from you workers of inequity" because of the life I was living then. I didn't know that repentance meant change, meant turning from sin not just saying I'm sorry. I didn't know these things and I didn't start to truly understand God, truly love Him, and truly start to serve Him until shortly before I got married. Something changed in me at that time as I began to want more than the shallow relationship I had. I started to really seek God for the first since I was child. Slowly God went from something I said was a priority and didn't actually give much thought too, to something I thought about and someone I talked to increasingly. As this changed occurred I started to understand love, and once I did that, I began to understand who God is. I started to change then and put aside things that took away from Him, I started to realize that loving God meant pleasing God.
I wanted to share this because week after week in churches everywhere we are having children, teens, and adults say the prayer of salvation without really teaching them what it means. They become just another tally mark and the congregation cheers for another one saved, but then we lose them because, from experience, we don't help them to understand the gospel. We aren't teaching them about agape love, or the meaning of repentance, we aren't focusing on the cross or sacrifice of sins. And we aren't helping them to understand that love is service to God and each other. Without understanding those important concepts it's easy to live as a Sunday Christian and think you are saved. It's easy to live in this trap and think you are okay when in reality you are still sick. We need to do more to reach people, teach people, serve people, and love them, because its through love and learning His word that God becomes real to us, that we form a relationship with Him and start to recognize His presence in our lives. We need to do more to teach our spiritually new Christians about what it really means to say the prayer of salvation, what it really means to repent, and that being a Christian isn't a religion, it's a lifestyle, it's a life of dying to oneself and representing Christ!
1 John 4:16
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
Romans 6:20-23
20 For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 21 Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death. 22 But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Then in my junior year of high school I got really sick and spent most of the year at home in bed, at the doctors, or in the hospital. It was during this time that I started looking at where I was heading and not being satisfied with myself or my choices, but I wouldn't actually make a change then, instead I continued on that path not believing I could change it. A year later I decided what was missing in my life was a relationship with God after hearing a fiery sermon given by an old timey Reverend at the church my mom was making us go to at the time. Hearing his sermon on sin and it's consequences, I knew I needed to change my life. So in May 2006 I gave my life to God a second time, but I really didn't have an idea of what it meant still. I knew what I thought it meant, but I've realized since then I was wrong, it was a very shallow understanding of things, and I now that I have learned better I see a lot of people falling into this same trap that I did.
If I am really honest, at that time in my life when I said the prayer of salvation it was less because I really wanted a relationship with God, and more because I was afraid of going to hell. And the fact that the boy I liked at that time also said he was a Christian, helped to influence this decision. So I said the prayer, but I still had no one guiding me, no one helping me to understand what it meant to be Christian, no one explaining to me what repentance really was, or what it meant to walk in His ways, despite spending every Sunday and Wednesday at church. I ended up in a lifestyle of working hard all week, getting drunk at party's every weekend, then confessing my sins on Sunday, without any desire or reason to change. I still told more lies than I could keep straight, and was callous and cold with the people around me. I claimed to love God, to be a Christian, to be saved, but I was really a hypocrite and I couldn't see it. I had said the prayer and that was all that mattered, I was going to heaven no matter what I did, or so I thought.
I didn't know I had been deceived, I didn't know that I was one of the ones who would hear "Depart me from you workers of inequity" because of the life I was living then. I didn't know that repentance meant change, meant turning from sin not just saying I'm sorry. I didn't know these things and I didn't start to truly understand God, truly love Him, and truly start to serve Him until shortly before I got married. Something changed in me at that time as I began to want more than the shallow relationship I had. I started to really seek God for the first since I was child. Slowly God went from something I said was a priority and didn't actually give much thought too, to something I thought about and someone I talked to increasingly. As this changed occurred I started to understand love, and once I did that, I began to understand who God is. I started to change then and put aside things that took away from Him, I started to realize that loving God meant pleasing God.
I wanted to share this because week after week in churches everywhere we are having children, teens, and adults say the prayer of salvation without really teaching them what it means. They become just another tally mark and the congregation cheers for another one saved, but then we lose them because, from experience, we don't help them to understand the gospel. We aren't teaching them about agape love, or the meaning of repentance, we aren't focusing on the cross or sacrifice of sins. And we aren't helping them to understand that love is service to God and each other. Without understanding those important concepts it's easy to live as a Sunday Christian and think you are saved. It's easy to live in this trap and think you are okay when in reality you are still sick. We need to do more to reach people, teach people, serve people, and love them, because its through love and learning His word that God becomes real to us, that we form a relationship with Him and start to recognize His presence in our lives. We need to do more to teach our spiritually new Christians about what it really means to say the prayer of salvation, what it really means to repent, and that being a Christian isn't a religion, it's a lifestyle, it's a life of dying to oneself and representing Christ!
1 John 4:16
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
Romans 6:20-23
20 For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 21 Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death. 22 But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Anything Is Possible
Yesterday I changed the name of this blog to 'Anything is Possible' for several reasons. First, because I've always believed it to be true, I think anything can happen in this life because there are just some thing's that defy science and mathematics and human understanding. Something's are just simply miracles, the impossible that became possible. And I am grateful to live in a world where that's true.
The second reason is more sentimental, at our wedding the first song my husband and I danced to as a couple was Darius Rucker's "Anything is Possible." We had only heard about 30 seconds of that song before we knew we wanted to use it at the wedding, and the reason behind it was together anything did seem possible to us. Since then though, we've got kicked around some, and had some major life changing things happen that for a time stole our joy and to varying degrees in each of us our faith, but lately I've noticed a change in both of us. It seems like God is restoring our fire and passion for life, and Him. Our moods are improving and we are becoming motivated again. This, to me, is proof that anything is possible.
The third and most important reason is that God declared it so. He told us all things are possible with Christ Jesus, and who am I to doubt His word? What right do I have to question the Creator of the universe? So, I changed the name to honor Him who has blessed me, who has given me life and restored me time and again.
Anything is possible, with faith and prayer. I believe that fully, and I know God works all things out for the good of His children. I think, in the chaos of this world we tend to forget that. Because we live in the here and now, and see only the here and now, we forget that if we go before the Father in prayer with love and faith in our hearts that miracles can happen! Miracles do happen! Anything is possible when you come before the throne, and I want, and I hope to use this blog as testament to that. To share His glory and marvelous works, as a reminder to all to hold onto faith, to pray without ceasing, and to believe in the impossible, despite what the world tells you.
Mark 10:27
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."
The second reason is more sentimental, at our wedding the first song my husband and I danced to as a couple was Darius Rucker's "Anything is Possible." We had only heard about 30 seconds of that song before we knew we wanted to use it at the wedding, and the reason behind it was together anything did seem possible to us. Since then though, we've got kicked around some, and had some major life changing things happen that for a time stole our joy and to varying degrees in each of us our faith, but lately I've noticed a change in both of us. It seems like God is restoring our fire and passion for life, and Him. Our moods are improving and we are becoming motivated again. This, to me, is proof that anything is possible.
The third and most important reason is that God declared it so. He told us all things are possible with Christ Jesus, and who am I to doubt His word? What right do I have to question the Creator of the universe? So, I changed the name to honor Him who has blessed me, who has given me life and restored me time and again.
Anything is possible, with faith and prayer. I believe that fully, and I know God works all things out for the good of His children. I think, in the chaos of this world we tend to forget that. Because we live in the here and now, and see only the here and now, we forget that if we go before the Father in prayer with love and faith in our hearts that miracles can happen! Miracles do happen! Anything is possible when you come before the throne, and I want, and I hope to use this blog as testament to that. To share His glory and marvelous works, as a reminder to all to hold onto faith, to pray without ceasing, and to believe in the impossible, despite what the world tells you.
Mark 10:27
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Noah's Family
With the new Noah's Ark movie coming out I went back and re-read the story of Noah in Genesis. There is no name given to his wife or his daughters-in-law, but I realized something about these women, and about Noah's sons too honestly, they had awesome faith.
I never really thought about it before, but they did. Building that ark was an act of faith, and not just faith in God, but in Noah too. By complying with Noah and helping him build this ark they were saying "Even though God didn't speak to us we are trusting and believing in you and we'll help you do this." And really, all I can say about that is wow!
It took some thought for me to realize this, and the more I thought about being in her situation the more I realized how hard that would be to do, to just take someone at their word that God commanded them to do something that seemed completely ludicrous. But that's exactly what his family did. I can only imagine that they must have had a lot of love and trust in Noah, but I'm sure at times they doubted his sanity at first too. I say at first because, again I am imagining, as the ark was finished and the animals came, I am sure they realized he was right, but up until that point they really didn't have any proof that he wasn't crazy.
Just imagine for a minute how you would feel if your spouse, or father, or mother announced to the whole family that God told them to, for some examples, risk everything and possibly end up in debt by opening a business, or give everything away and move some where to be a missionary? Of course you love this person and want to support them, but we all know we'd have our doubts, not because we didn't believe them, or in them, but because we have no evidence to support this idea as a good one. And while they are confident going 'yeah this is gonna be great God told me so,' you're left going, 'well he didn't tell me and this seems kind of scary and risky. I'm not really sure about it.' Would you still go along with it?
How hard it must have been for them, to trust with no evidence that Noah really did hear from God, to do what was asked of them without really knowing for sure what was going to happen. I know it had to be hard for Noah too, and I'm sure he had his own doubts about his sanity, but I'm also sure that he got reassurance from God, and maybe his family did too, I don't know. I just think they must have been pretty amazing people, I can only imagine what it was like for them, and honestly I don't know what I would have done in their situation, I want to say I would go along with it too, that I would have the strength to put my questions, fear, and doubts aside to follow a call I didn't hear, but I don't know. Thinking about that it makes me wonder, who has more faith, the one who hears and obeys, or the one who obeys without knowing His voice or the outcome but is simply trusting?
Genesis 6:13-14
So God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all the people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and cover it with pitch inside and out.
I never really thought about it before, but they did. Building that ark was an act of faith, and not just faith in God, but in Noah too. By complying with Noah and helping him build this ark they were saying "Even though God didn't speak to us we are trusting and believing in you and we'll help you do this." And really, all I can say about that is wow!
It took some thought for me to realize this, and the more I thought about being in her situation the more I realized how hard that would be to do, to just take someone at their word that God commanded them to do something that seemed completely ludicrous. But that's exactly what his family did. I can only imagine that they must have had a lot of love and trust in Noah, but I'm sure at times they doubted his sanity at first too. I say at first because, again I am imagining, as the ark was finished and the animals came, I am sure they realized he was right, but up until that point they really didn't have any proof that he wasn't crazy.
Just imagine for a minute how you would feel if your spouse, or father, or mother announced to the whole family that God told them to, for some examples, risk everything and possibly end up in debt by opening a business, or give everything away and move some where to be a missionary? Of course you love this person and want to support them, but we all know we'd have our doubts, not because we didn't believe them, or in them, but because we have no evidence to support this idea as a good one. And while they are confident going 'yeah this is gonna be great God told me so,' you're left going, 'well he didn't tell me and this seems kind of scary and risky. I'm not really sure about it.' Would you still go along with it?
How hard it must have been for them, to trust with no evidence that Noah really did hear from God, to do what was asked of them without really knowing for sure what was going to happen. I know it had to be hard for Noah too, and I'm sure he had his own doubts about his sanity, but I'm also sure that he got reassurance from God, and maybe his family did too, I don't know. I just think they must have been pretty amazing people, I can only imagine what it was like for them, and honestly I don't know what I would have done in their situation, I want to say I would go along with it too, that I would have the strength to put my questions, fear, and doubts aside to follow a call I didn't hear, but I don't know. Thinking about that it makes me wonder, who has more faith, the one who hears and obeys, or the one who obeys without knowing His voice or the outcome but is simply trusting?
Genesis 6:13-14
So God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all the people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. So make yourself an ark of cypress wood; make rooms in it and cover it with pitch inside and out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)