Maybe I'm silly and naïve or maybe it's just faith, but after having my fears confirmed yesterday, I'm still at peace. Despite finding out that my employment will end after I have my baby, I'm still not worried, I just have faith that God will provide for us one way or another. It's my dream to be a stay at home mom, but I know that isn't possible at the moment with our finances, we need both incomes, and yet I still am not worried. I know it's going to be difficult to find another family to work for where I can bring my baby too, but I'm still not worried. Maybe I should be worried but all I can think of are the words a good friend told me repeatedly over the last couple of years, 'Your Father is the King, and you are His precious daughter, He will never leave you or forsake you.'
I think of those words, I think of my past, and I think of how far I have come since giving my life to God, and again I feel reassured. When I met my husband in 2008, I was nearly homeless working three jobs, in debt up to my eyeballs, going to school full-time and only eating toast with coffee unless someone else offered me a free meal. I had no money, everything that came in went right back out again, I was drowning in debt, anxiety, and hopelessness. Today my life is very much the opposite, we just bought our first home in the country, we have a newer car, money in savings, a baby on the way, and hope for a future, despite our current bump in the road. This to me is all a testament to the fact that God provides, and it allows me to rest in Him now.
I believe to my very core that God didn't bring me out of desperation to take me back there again. I believe with all that I have in me that God didn't lead us to our home and car so we would lose them. I know the Lord giveth and taketh away, but I really don't think He has brought us this far forward to set us back again. I could always be wrong though, and even if I am, God is still God, and God is still good, I have nothing to fear. God is my provider, and not my employers. God is my refuge and strong tower, I know in Him I will always be taken care of, I know in Him I am always safe. My future is uncertain right now, but I do not fear because I know in whose hands it rest. Be blessed and encouraged brothers and sisters, Yahweh goes before us.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
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