This morning as I was talking with friends, praying and taking care of the children I nanny for I started thinking about how there was a time in my life when I questioned what my purpose in God was, a time where I questioned how He could possibly use someone so insignificant, so sinful as me. I doubted that I was worthy is what it really boils down to, I doubted that I was good enough to be used by God, and even when He did tell me specifically what He wanted me to do, I doubted that I could, doubted that I would have any effect for the Kingdom at all. God has since shown me that to Him I am worthy and that there is purpose for all that are drawn into the kingdom of God.
I wanted to share this today, my thoughts on not being good enough, and how as I read the Bible I really came to believe it wasn't about being good enough, it's about being obedient and loving Him with all you have because I know I am not alone in thoughts and feelings. I know that there are many who struggle with feelings of being unworthy, and who don't know what their purpose is or do know and are afraid to try. I've been there and so have many that are looked up to in the Bible. The more time I spend in the scriptures the more I realize that no man was really 'good' enough for God, as Paul wrote in Romans 3:23&24 "23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Basically, none of us is righteous, none of us is good, we will all sin, we all fall short, but in Yeshua we have redemption and have been justified to God. This means when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior and truly repent (change our ways not just saying I'm sorry) we are then sanctified and made clean before our Father, Jesus in us makes us good enough for God.
I mentioned that there are many in the Bible who were afraid of their calling, who were unsure, and the first that comes to mind is Moses, so I'd like to tell you about him and how God responded to Moses' attempts at denying his call. Moses made 5 excuses to God when the Lord called him to bring Israel out of Egypt, and all were denied by God. The first excuse Moses gave God sounded all to familiar to me, he told God "Who am I?" (Exodus 3:11), a clear response of unworthiness. Who I am that you called me, who am I that you would use me, who am I that anyone would listen to me? And what was the Lord's reaction to this? "I will be with you." (Exodus3:12) The same answer He gives to us today, 'I will be with you,' His promise to us from the start, He will be with us and who then can stand against us(Psalm 118:6; Isaiah 8:10; Isaiah 41:10: Romans 8:31 and more)? Moses's second excuse was that he didn't have the knowledge to serve God (Exodus 3:13), that he didn't even know God's name, and again the Lord quieted Moses's fears by supplying the knowledge he needed. The next excuse is again one I see myself in, 'I don't believe I can fulfill my calling' (Exodus 4:1), it's the doubt that people will listen or care, the fear and expectation that you will fail. And God responded to Moses by giving Him signs to prove it, for us our signs are the fruit we bare and testimony we share. The fourth excuse (Exodus 4:10) I relate to on two levels, first is on a personal level because I like Moses have had issues with stuttering and my speech isn't always what it should because of this, the second is how I saw myself because of that. Because I stutter sometimes I didn't see myself as a leader, I didn't believe in myself or God's ability to make others listen. God answered both Moses and I with a way around this, He gave Aaron to be Moses's mouth and He gave me a keyboard, but the Lord also reminded Moses (and us) that it is He who gave man his mouth and that it is He who will teach him what to say. The last excuse isn't really an excuse but fear pure and simple, "Lord, please send someone else" (Exodus 4:13); to which God gave Moses Aaron(mentioned a minute ago) as his mouth to Israel and told him to use the his staff for the signs.
My point to all this? No matter what excuse we have God has an answer. No matter how we see ourselves God knows what and who He designed us to be. No matter how we perceive ourselves God is with us and He makes us able when we lean on Him and act in obedience to the call He placed on our lives. I hope I explained this well, I hope someone was blessed by this and that it encourages them to trust the Lord's plan no matter how intimidating it may seem. Know that the Lord goes before, be obedient and wait on Him, He will make all the difference. Be blessed by Our Lord.
Exodus 15:6
"Your right hand, O LORD, is majestic in power, Your right hand, O LORD, shatters the enemy.
2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed;
1 Peter 4:11
Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
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