Controlling my Temper is Hard

     Some people, no matter what will rub you the wrong way. It's nothing that they've actually done, you just have a short tolerance level for them, you find it hard to be patient or understanding to them, but you still love them. That's how I am with my little brother, and one of my aunts. I love them dearly, but I can only handle them in small doses before I get frustrated.
     What brought this up was I woke up with text message from my aunt saying its nice that we went on vacation, but we should have gone where she liked because it's better. I instantly went into anger mode and wanted to send back all sorts of nasty messages, but I didn't. I pushed myself to be polite and reminded myself that's just the way she is, and may be for the time to come. This time she sparked my anger right away, but other times its later in a conversation, but it always will happen whenever I talk to her or my brother.
     They have an 'I am always right, even if I have nothing to base it on,' attitude, so no matter what you are wrong and they will fight about it for hours, without making much sense or many valid points. It drives me insane! But more than that, it brings forward all these trigger points for rage that I am usually very careful about.
      I used to have a really bad temper, we're talking throwing, hitting, breaking, screaming and cussing. I was angry all the time and constantly getting into brawls or disagreements with my family. But I realized after a while that I didn't like the way anger felt, I didn't want to feel that way anymore. So, I learned to control my temper, and I prayed to be released from the rage. And since then I'm a whole new woman except when it comes to them. When I got that text this morning and felt the rage inside again I got disappointed in myself. I tried to calm myself, to rationalize, and talk myself down. And I worked on  making sure that all the messages I sent her were very polite, but I still feel that I failed because I was still angry at nothing.
     Today, I am going to make an effort to do and say nice things about and to my aunt and brother. I need to pray for them, and my responses to them. I know with God I can make this work!

Proverbs 14:17
A quick tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated.