Natural Born Worrier

        I used to describe myself as a worrier, I worried about everything, all the time. I am not exaggerating in this, I couldn't open my eyes in the morning without a flood of worries hitting me causing me to start my day with the sensation of drowning in the circumstances around me. I knew what the scriptures said about worry, but I couldn't seem to stop it from happening. I'd pray about it, ask for help but I still felt worry and concern over the situations all the time. For example I used to have this habit of praying, then right away checking on the things that I had prayed about, or not praying about it and watching the situation like a hawk. I used to assume this was just my nature, after all, I was a worrier, and so were my parents, that's just how we were made. I had it in my head that it was just the way things would always be, I would always worry about everything and everyone.
        I used to think my watching the situations would help me feel better about them, that maybe I could see little improvements as they happened and feel reassured that God was handling it, and then I would not worry about that situation anymore; or at least not as much. That never turned out to be the case though. In fact the constant checking and worrying only made the worry worse. I would end up looking at the situation and saying to the Lord "God I prayed about this, I believe in you and your promises. Why aren't things changing? Or why isn't it happening sooner?"
     Finally one day I realized what I couldn't see before, finally I realized what the problem had been. I was too involved, I wasn't really letting go of my worries or the small amount of control I felt I had over the situation by constantly checking on it. I wanted to know what was happening all the time, I wanted to have some semblance of control, and that desire to control is what causes worry, because then what if we fail, what if it doesn't work out? This was not trust in God, this was me being my own stumbling block because of my desire to control and fear of things not happening. I just couldn't see it at first because of pride blinders, I saw that I was taking it to the Lord like I should, but I didn't see that I was forgetting to let it go.
     Once I realized that worry wasn't the actual problem it made it easier to see what I had to do. I had to give up my control for His. I had to submit myself to Him and trust that His will, I had to trust that things will work out in my life the way He intends, and accept that my constant checking won't help or change any of it. I had to humble myself to Him and let go of all the things I was holding onto, my financial worries, writing, cars, houses, bills, debt, babies, work, family stress, and so much more.
      It is a struggle each day to let go of my habits of trying to have my fingers in everything around me so that I feel like I have some control. It's a challenge to just accepting that once I have prayed for it, it is in God's hands and will be worked out according to His plans in His time. But I have found the more I do this and the less time I spend checking up on stuff and worrying about it, the better my quality of life is becoming. I am enjoying more, and stressing less. I am beginning to feel free from the weight of constant worry and it is building my trust in God because I am finding that things happen in better ways and usually faster when I give it up to the Father, and stay out of it unless otherwise directed!
      From this I am starting to believe that no one is a natural born worrier, worry is just a stumbling block to keep us from fully trusting God's will. When you really pray, giving up the worry, putting aside the desire to control and your pride, saying humbly with all confidence, 'God this is in your hands and your will be done,' life is more fulfilled and more free. Be blessed.

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

Philippians 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.