Love Covers All Wounds

       About 8-almost 9 years ago now, I made a really big mistake. I had a really good friend whose love and devotion I should have appreciated, but I didn't. I treated her badly, taking her for granted, and eventually lost her friendship because of it. This was a really good friendship, and I know now a gift from God when I really needed a friend. At first when everything went wrong I tried to blame her, tried to ease my conscience by saying it was all her fault, something that my other friend at the time encouraged me in. Between the two friends I had one true friend, and one friend who was in all reality controlling and manipulating me with guilt and flattery; and I was dumb enough to fall for it. Between the two when push came to shove, I picked the wrong friend. Now years later I have seen the light and accepted the truth; now I take responsibility for what happened and my part in it. 
       I wanted to share my failing in this area today because recently God has blessed me with the same good friend. Now we are talking again and rebuilding the trust between us, and honestly it is the answer to prayer that I didn't think I'd ever receive. It's been a slow process, and has taken a lot of love, patience, and humbleness on my part, and a lot of forgiveness and understanding on hers. The whole process of healing and moving back to this point where we are able to talk as friends again started two years ago when she added me to her facebook, I didn't request her from fear of rejection, but for some reason she requested me, I still don't know why. I was very excited then, but we spoke only once or twice, and went out once for lunch after this. It was really great to be around her again and meet her new son, but I could tell there was still a lot of tension on both sides.
       After this she eventually blocked me and that prompted me to do several things, first to pray to God for acceptance and understanding of her decision. I didn't know what I had done this time to hurt her, but I realized that it was her right and her choice to block me, so instead of letting my hurt lead me into anger and bitterness I prayed. After praying I wrote a post called "Letting Go and Accepting it" where I talked about not chasing after her and just trusting God that if it was over He had reason for it. The next thing took me several days to do, but after much prayer and thought I emailed her one last time to say goodbye. I thanked her for the short time she had allowed me to re-enter her life and being my friend when I needed one, and I told her that I hoped she would find joy and peace in her life. I told her that I would pray for the Lord to prosper her, and that I would always think of her warmly. I don't know if she ever saw or read that email, but it doesn't matter to me, because sometime later she added me back.
       Since she has added me back I have been very careful not to over step any boundaries, I didn't want to hurt or offend her so I kept my distance, but occasionally would let her know by comments on post that I was praying for her, or I would try to help her when I could. I loved her without expectation of ever receiving her love again in return. I was simply content to know she was doing well, and to love her from a distance, rejoicing at her successes and praying if she was struggling. Then a couple months ago the dad of a mutual friend of ours died suddenly. She and I both went to the funeral, in fact we rode there together with my mom like we used to, and I don't know how to explain it or even really what it was, but something was different from the last time we got together. This time it felt like old times, the three of us stood around laughing, talking, and teasing like time never passed. The wounds we had caused each other didn't matter anymore, just the love we had for each other. 
       This was a turning point for us, it set things in motion for us to rebuild, after that night we messaged back and forth some and then again it fell away, but not for long this time. I saw a post on facebook recently that she was hurting and upset and as I tended to do occasionally, I let her know I was there for her if she needed to talk. At first she rejected the idea, and I said that was fine, but reminded her we all need someone to talk too, and vent to sometimes, so she messaged me. Now we are frequently texting each other, sometimes for hours other times just when we have a minute. We have talked about our pain and I have apologized, admitted my mistakes, and told her how much I have regretted how I hurt her, and we both said how much we had missed each other. How we wished all along that the other had been part of the big events in each other's life that we missed out on because of this. Finally we were talking again and we both knew that despite everything that had happened between us that we had always loved each other.
       I know this has been a really long post, and I'm sorry for that, but to make my point I needed to explain the whole situation. I wanted you to know about the pain I caused this person, and also how by giving the situation over to God, trusting Him, and just loving whenever the opportunity arose things changed. For me this experience has taught me the truth of the Apostle Peter's word's found in 1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." My sins against her could have completely destroyed what we had forever and it very nearly did, but with love, time, patience, forgiveness, and trust in God's plans for us, things are getting better, we are healing together, and I have learned to value her for the gift she truly is. All I can really say now is praise the Lord above for His healing and love! Be blessed.

Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 17:9
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.

1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.

Walk in Love

       Loving someone who is beaten down by negativity, anxieties, and jealousy is really hard. It can be exhausting to pour into them over and over. To everyday try to love and encourage them, especially if it feels like they are fighting you every step of the way. That's something I have had to deal with more than once in my personal life and here on Google. But I am grateful that I have had this experience, because now I can understand what it must be like for God to continually minister to our hearts and be rejected. This experience has made me all the more appreciative of God's grace, and unfailing love for His children.
       I didn't see it this way at first though, to be honest when I originally started trying to help and encourage the first person struggling with these issues I would get short, angry and frustrated with them after a while. I would sometimes think things like 'why should I continue to build them up, when all they do is tear themselves back down again?' 'why should I make an effort to love someone who doesn't want love?' 'why should I continue to care, if really they just want to stay in that negative place?' With these thoughts in mind, my efforts to show love were stalled, and my actions toward them was consistent with that. Truthfully, I used these thoughts as excuses to not be loving towards them because it was hard, and I reacted on my frustrations instead because it was easier. But this didn't help the situation, it only hurt the relationship we had.
       Eventually God changed my heart on this, He showed me that I was relying too much on myself to help this person and not enough on Him. He showed me that this person stubbornly clinging to their pain was no different than myself and what I had once done when the Lord had started ministering to my heart and calling me out of rebellion. He reminded me of the love He showed me then when I didn't want it, deserve it, or see it. As I sat thinking of all the ways He loved me when I was unlovable I realized I needed to put aside my frustration and love this person like Yeshua loved me. I needed to love them right where they were and stop trying to change them. Even if they weren't ready to receive the Word, I needed to love them and allow that consistency of love lead them back to God. This has led to big changes in myself and the first person I tried to help, and has strengthened our relationship.
        Since I have decided to walk in love with this person regardless of whether they are in a negative or positive mind set I have seen big changes in their character. As I pray for them and allow God to work on their heart without my interference I can see how God is changing and softening their heart, they are now seeking out answers about the Lord and faith. They are now ready to receive the Word and interested. As I love and encourage them where they are without making demands I can see how the negativity is falling away. As I simply love and encourage them as the Father has done with me, following in His example, I have discovered that love is the greatest strength and ministry tool we have.
       Jesus said in John 13:34-35; '34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” ' God Himself is love (1 John 4:16), and when we walk in love with others, especially those that are hard to love, we are abiding in Him and allowing the light of Christ to shine in dark places. This is what sets us apart and truly attracts people to us, it is not fancy churches or big screen projectors, but the love and compassion that comes from the truly surrendered heart. It is the love displayed on the cross for all the world to see that truly changes people, the love of our God for us and it is in that way we are to walk, not so we can save people and change lives, but so that He can through us. Be blessed brothers and sisters, and show love in all you do.

John 15:9-17
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other

1 John 4:7-12
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Romans 8:37-39   
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Vulnerable to the Fruits of the Flesh

      This weekend was a good reminder to me of how much work I still have to do. How much further I have to go in my relationship with the Lord. Like most Americans, it was a busy weekend for me, lots of things to do, lots of chores to catch up on and stuff to occupy my hands and mind. Then this morning as I was praying I became heartbroken when I realized that I hadn't given God the proper attention over the weekend. That in all the flurry of activity I had let things fall to the wayside not keeping up in my devotional or spending as much time in prayer as I usually do. I didn't stay in conversation with Him throughout the day as I usually would, and worst of all I didn't notice that I had done this until I finally stopped to take my quiet time the morning.
       As I began to pray this morning I felt a distance, like something was between us. I continued to pray though not yet knowing or realizing where I had gone astray. As usual, as I stayed in prayer it became clear to me where I had fallen off course and what had happened, as well as what I needed to do to make it right again. As I thanked the Father for the weekend and the many good things that came from it and apologized for my less than ideal behavior at times, I saw how little I had actually included God in any of it and I was saddened by that. I had let a busy weekend distract me from what was, and is really important. Because of this transgression, because of this lack of attention I had given to Him I was more vulnerable to the flesh rising up which it inevitably did.
       I know I am not alone in this, we are all guilty at times of letting things or other relationships come between us and God. We are humans, we aren't perfect and we are easily distracted. This is why it is important to make God an all the time priority, and not just a sometimes priority. The scriptures tell us to pray without ceasing; to seek the wisdom and counsel of the Lord; to seek His face and His will for our lives. These instructions aren't meant to be hindrances, and in fact they are not at all, they are life support. These actions keep you in a close relationship with the Lord which is important if we are to overcome this world and enter into His glory.
       Alone we are unable to stay on the path of righteousness, alone we will stray every time. My weekend was a good example of that. Without the proper prayer support, I was moody and selfish. Without first focusing myself on the Lord and His ways, my thoughts and actions spoke of the fruits of the flesh. I was easily annoyed by everyone, and honestly couldn't think of anything past what I really wanted to do. I know that more than once I was short with people, and I was honestly pretty prideful, I caught myself often judging people in my mind and heart and I was upset by that, that's not how I typically behave anymore. But as pride often does, I was at first blinded to that fact until I sat alone with the Lord and gave Him my full attention. I walked in the flesh this weekend and it reminded me why I had turned away from that, there is little joy in it, and nothing that is soul rewarding. Only in Jesus can we have the abundant life promised, only when we abide in Him can we walk in the spirit. Be blessed and stay close to the Lord my brothers and sisters.

1 Chronicles 16:11   

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!
        
Psalm 1:1-2

1 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take

or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night

 

Psalm 119:10    
With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!
Galatians 5:13-21

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever  you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

 

Lay Down The Burden

       Not long ago I spoke to someone who is struggling, they want what they once had with God, but they are afraid they have strayed too far. I tried to reassure them, to remind them of God's grace, His forgiveness towards His children, and I wish now that I had also remembered to share the story of the one lost sheep (Matthew 18:12-14 & Luke 15:3-7) or the prodigal son(Luke 15:11-32). Both are great stories, great examples of what I was trying to help this person see, that God loves us beyond measure, He loves us unconditionally, regardless of where we have failed and where we have gone wrong. Both tell the story of how important we are to God, and to make that point even more abundantly clear to us God allowed His son to be beaten, humiliated, nailed to a cross and die so that in the resurrection of Christ you could have freedom from the law and death, so you could have access to the Kingdom of God for eternity.
       I want you to think about that please, look into your heart and realize this was victory! The cross is a story of great power! Because of Yeshua, because He died and rose again you are free if you only are willing to follow Him, to make Him first. God does not care about your past if you are willing to make Him your future. Because of the cross and what Christ did we can be made new and clean if we will accept the Son, and seek Him in all we do. Please realize that when we come to the cross in humbleness, admitting our sin and leaving it there, we are freed from our defeated enemy and able to overcome our sins, and past mistakes. Only through the power of the cross, the death and resurrection of Christ can you be forgiven! It was His blood shed for you that gives you the power to change, it was His sacrifice and the acceptance of it that has allowed the Holy Spirit to dwell within, guiding and correcting us that we might stay on the path of righteousness. It is because of Jesus and God's unending love for us that you have this opportunity. Don't hold onto what is keeping you apart.
       I know that sounds easier said than done, to let go of your regrets, fears and past mistakes. I know that if you're struggling you probably read that and said to yourself  'it's impossible, there's no way you can just let go of years of pain like that, in just a moment'. But I'm telling you, it can happen, it happened for me. I broke before the cross, surrendering myself to Yeshua and finally accepted the love He died to give me. Instantly I felt peace, I was overwhelmed by His presence and comfort, suddenly I knew I was loved and forgiven. I knew that I had always been, I just hadn't accepted it yet. Instantly I knew life was never going to be the same. And from that point it has only gotten better. There's been plenty of struggle, plenty of hard times, but Jesus has been with me every step of the way, filling me with hope to endure and grace to overcome.
       Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Please, if you are struggling like my friend let these words from the Messiah settle on your heart, let His sacrifice move you to your soul, then give it to Him. Be blessed in the name of Yeshua.


Psalm 145:14   
The Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down.

Psalm 55:22   
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved

Acts 2:38   
And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 10:13   
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Peter 5:6-7   
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.                         

It's Because of Him

       Every now and again I feel it is important to remind the people who read these post that I am no one special. There is nothing really incredible or amazing about me, except Jesus in my heart. I want to remind people that while I appreciate the praise, it's all truly about God and to His glory. The only thing I have set out to do is share what I am experiencing and learning in the Holy Spirit and encourage others in their walk. I do not claim any special title or gifting, I am just an ordinary woman that wants to share the testimony of Yeshua, because it changed my life and I want others to know how to break free from the world too! I want to share what God has done and give hope to the broken, because I know God is able.
       As I learn to rely on Him and His Word more I am learning to be free from my anxieties, from my burdens and shame, and that the Holy Bible is really a truth that will transform you from the inside. It didn't happen overnight, or even in a year, but as I sought Him more, the more I changed for the better. The more I applied the scripture to my life; tried to glean the lessons from difficult situations, and sought His guidance thru them, the easier burdens have become to endure. The more time spent in prayer and fasting, the easier it has become to resist certain temptations, and it's all because God is working. Every bit of this is a reflection on the greatness of the Father, His mercy and love, because it is not something I could do on my own.
       On my own I could never get it right no matter how hard I tried. On my own I was easily led into destructive habits to try and fill the emptiness in my heart. On my own I doubted God and His Word, I scoffed at its words from my spot in the pew because I hadn't experienced its truth yet. On my own I thought I could do enough works and go to enough church that I could buy my way into heaven by my works, but with Jesus in my heart all of these lies have been defeated.
       It is impossible for man to be righteous on his own, we will fail every time, our flesh is weak and we end up giving into our lesser desires, every story in the Bible and really the world confirms this if you just look and pay attention(Romans 3:23). We are destructive and evil in our hearts without the Lord's correction. Our flesh will led us into pride, greed, wrath, lust, gluttony, slothfulness, and selfishness if left unchecked (Galatians 5:19-21). We need the Holy Spirit in order to combat this, the Holy Spirit through loving correction and conviction changes us to turn away from these things. By God we are strengthened to endure and succeed, we are able to walk away from our sins and into His presence.  But none of this could be possible with out Yeshua and what He did on the cross for us.
       Jesus is what makes the difference, He is the light of this world(John 1:4) and shines from within the hearts of all those who have surrendered to His healing sacrifice. It is only because of Him that I am here writing, it is only Him I that seek favor from. Without Jesus there would be no reason for me to do what I am, without Him I would still be stuck and miserable. But because of Him and what He has done I am like the Samaritan woman by the well calling to the others with my testimony to come to Him(John 4:3-42).

Isaiah 53:11   
Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities

Galatians 2:20    
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
                     
 Revelation 12:11   
And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death                   

No Need for Revenge or Wrath

       The Lord looks at our heart, so the Word tells us in 1 Samuel 16:7, and I'm wondering this morning how different we would be if we did too. People will deceive us, trick us into seeing or believing what they want us to believe about them, we have all experienced someone like this at one point of time or another. Typically I am a pretty good judge of character and motive, I can usually see if someone is trying to use or manipulate me, but this isn't always true, without being able to see into someone's heart I have been duped before and probably will be again. That deception of character, and how to react to it, is something I am thinking about a lot right now as the character of a man I once respected becomes more clear and unflattering all the time.
       I don't want to go into details about that today though, perhaps in time I will, but right now I mostly want to talk about the fact that God knows our hearts and the hearts of those who surround us. I think it is important to realize that because, He always knows the true motives of our actions. He knows when we are walking in pride and when we are walking in love. He knows when we are selfish and when we are moved by compassion. This is important to realize because we will reap what we have sown, (Galatians 6:7-8; Job 4:8; Luke 6:38; Jeremiah 17:10 & more) and so does everyone else. I like to try to remind myself of that fact often to keep myself accountable and aware of my actions, especially when I am upset with someone or disappointed by their actions, because in that truth I am free to let the feelings go and trust them to the Lord.
       This is what I am working on now with this person, I honestly want to get in their face, yell, scream, and confront them with their deceit, manipulation, and pride but acting in anger only brings about more anger. I realize that there is nothing I gain by harboring those feelings; there is no reason or need for me to seek revenge(Romans 12:19; Deuteronomy 32:35); God will repay each of us for our actions. So, if someone does me wrong I can trust the Lord to handle it, this frees me up to focus on just loving people, and loving God(Leviticus 19:18).
       Even though I am disappointed by this previously mentioned person and their actions, I have no reason to hold on to those feelings or hold a grudge against them, the only person I would really be hurting then is myself. Holding onto to negative feelings and desires can only lead into darkness and falling off the path of righteousness, just like what happened with Saul when he held on to his jealousy over David, or when David killed Uriah to hide his adultery. They each gave in to the flesh and let these lesser desires led them off the path of righteousness; and they each were forced to deal with the consequences of that choice, Saul losing his own life, and David losing the child that was born from the adultery. I don't know about you, but personally if I am going to be paid back for actions, I rather it be in blessings than in punishment or correction, so I'm willing to let go and trust God to deal with this person.
       I hope if you have been struggling with someone who has hurt you, deceived you, or used you that you are willing to just let go and trust God. He sees our hurt, He sees our pain, and He knows our hearts. If we let go and just focus on Him, God will deal with the rest in due time, all we have to do is trust. Be blessed and take the straight path my brothers and sisters, know that it is the Lord who justifies.

Proverbs 22:8    
Whoever sows injustice will reap calamity, and the rod of his fury will fail

Jeremiah 17:10   
“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

Luke 6:37-38
37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: 38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again

                 
Galatians 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.      

Go To God First

       In the past three years as a wife I have learned a lot, and I realize there is still more to learn, but there is something that I have learned that has helped more than anything to keep the relationship between my husband and I good. Today I would like to share that with you, because it can be applied to all relationships, not just man and wife. It's something that took a while to get the hang of, because it's different from what the world teaches us to do, it took practice, patience, and a lot of reminding myself that it's in God's hands, this takes trust and time, but it is proven and true.
       First, let me share with you a little about my husband. Nick is the type of man that doesn't like to be told what to do, he can be asked to do things, and you can discuss ideas with him, but to tell him 'this is what we are doing and this is how it will be done,' is a sure fire way of getting him to not want any part of it. This took time to learn how to handle, I sought out advice from wordly books or magazines on this and other women, mostly older women but some of my peers who were married too. Everything they suggested though added up to manipulation, nagging, or being demanding. They told me how to put things into his head and convince him it was his idea so he'd do what I wanted, and it worked, but I felt guilty, it felt like lying. The nagging didn't work either, things got done, but it caused tension between us, and he was more often cross. Being assertive and demanding didn't work either, it trampled his sense of family position and left him discouraged and resentful. Their advice got me things in the short term, but it damaged the relationship we had, because of it I started to feel low and less loved by him, and he felt disrespected by me and frustrated by my nagging.    
       Another thing about my husband is, that for a long time after we were married he struggled with faith, depression and anxiety, he is still suffering from these struggles but is on the road to recovery. This coupled with my own struggles against depression and anxiety put further strain on our marriage. I was getting better and he was getting worse, so I tried to tell Nick how to get better, what he should be doing to help, and what he was doing wrong. This further aggravated things, he shut down and pulled away the more I nagged him. I started to take the lead in our relationship, assuming the role of head of house, because I was frustrated by his anxieties and how they affected his ability to make decisions, this pushed him further away, hurting us both more and creating even more tension and distance. I became very lonely in what was once the most fulfilling relationship in my life. We were best friends, we did everything together and always got along great! Now though, we mostly sat in tense silence to avoid snapping at the other or being snapped at. I knew in my heart something had to change, this was not what either of us had ever wanted, we were best friends not enemies, and somehow we had to get back to that if this marriage was going to work for both of us.
       So I finally did what I should have done from the start. I stopped running to the phone with the problems in my marriage, I stopped seeking out advice from secular therapist and magazines, and I started asking my Father to heal what was broken. This is my grand secret to what changed things for us. I started praying for my marriage, praying for my husband, praying for myself, and started applying respect. When he frustrated me, I'd pray about it, and sometimes as I prayed I realized that I was getting upset over something trivial that would be better to just cover with grace and move on from. Other times I vented to God and I prayed for changes in Nick to occur; then God would show me how I needed to change too. This is what worked, this was what changed things for us. I started focusing on the good in him and let God deal with what is less than perfect in us both. I started to trust that everything was going to be fine between us, because we have the Lord in our hearts and He has us in the palm of His hand.
       I wrote this today hoping to share my experience and the knowledge that the Lord provided through this experience because it is so easy to get lost and lose what is really important to us when we are looking at the world. When we aren't taking our issues to God first its easy to wind up seeking things out of our selfish desires, to act on hurt with hurt rather than forgiveness, or not stop to think about the long term effects of our actions. It's easy to let the gossip in and taint what you have, but if you instead go to God first, and let Him lead you things just seem to fall into place. When you learn to lean on God, and to love like He loves your relationships will succeed, because God is not only our example of unconditional love, but is love Himself. Be blessed.  

Colossians 2:8
See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.        

New Name

      More than ten years ago now, I was told by a secular therapist that I was seeing for depression that the cause of my deep pain and sadness was that I cared too deeply for others and that I needed to guard my heart more, I needed to put up walls to protect my fragile feelings. And I did as she said, in fact I did it so well that I went from being caring and fragile to earning myself the nickname "Ice Queen." I was brutal and heartless, especially towards my younger brother and my tormentors at school, but the lack of compassion didn't stop with them. I was mouthy and rude, I had no problem telling people 'where to go' as the expression is, and I really didn't care if I hurt the person I spoke to. The therapist's advice didn't help or heal, it didn't get me out of depression, instead it led me down an even darker path, one where rage, cruelty, and unforgivenness ruled my heart and actions.
       God did not leave me in that darkness alone though, He gave me a ray of light in my baby sister. Having to take care for her drew out my tenderness and kept me from totally giving into the pain that had quickly become wrath.  I loved my sister with all I had in me, to me she was the answer to prayer and I was grateful for her presence in my life. Then there was also my best friend at this time, a girl who insisted on dragging me to church and youth group as much as she could get me to go. These two people kept the love and light alive in me, nurturing the tiny flame that the world had nearly extinguished. But otherwise I wore my nickname like a badge of honor, using it to keep everyone else at a distance, the 'Ice Queen' became who I was. Until sometime later when God brought someone else in to my life who would help me to heal and to learn to love again, someone who would help me to see and appreciate what God was doing in my life; later I would marry that man and take his name, but this isn't the new name I want to talk about today, the new name the Lord gave me is not only 'Thorn' but in Jesus I am 'Redeemed.'
       This is nothing new with the Lord, He has given many new names when people become His, He promises us a new identity when we abide in Him and walk in His ways (Ephesians 4:21-24). He did it for Abram and Sarai, changing their names to reflect the promise over them, thru the Lord they became Abraham and Sarah (Genesis 17:5) the 'father of multitudes' and the 'mother of nations.' Thru the Lord, Jacob whose birth name means 'supplanter' became Israel 'having power with God'(Genesis 32:28), and Jesus changed the name of Simon 'God has heard' to Peter, 'the rock' (John 1:42). All of these changes were made to reflect the new person, the new life and future they had because of God working in and thru them, and this is available to you too!  
       I want you to know today that you don't have to carry around those old names anymore, you don't have to go around life as the 'loser', the 'drunk', the 'thief', the 'bum', the 'worthless' or the 'forsaken' none of those are the name by which the Lord calls you. When you come to Him with openness He will give you a new heart, a new spirit (Ezekiel 36:26), and He changes what you are called; in Yeshua you are 'redeemed', 'blessed', 'forgiven' and 'cherished.'  With Jesus in you, you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). Be blessed in Jesus name.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Ephesians 4:21-24
21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
             

Together We Serve

       Something that I have come to really appreciate recently is the counsel of Godly brothers and sisters. In this last year God has done much to show me that it is not only a good thing to have friends who are in the body but necessary for growth. We need others in our lives to help us keep focused when the storms of life try to set us off course, we need others to help us accept God's truth even when it breaks our hearts, we need others to confirm that what we believe is a message from God really is, because it is so easy to deceive ourselves with the things we want. We need others to share their knowledge and gifting with us to help serve the Lord's purpose and grow in our relationship to Him and the body. I have learned this past year that each of God's children's is a precious gift in our lives and not to be taken for granted.
        Before I let others into my life it was often hard to determine if I was following God's will or my own. Without others to discuss the choices, and the signs I was receiving it was much easier to convince myself that what I wanted was God's will for my life. Without others I lacked knowledge and understanding of some Biblical principle, and would repeatedly get stuck in the same cycles and mistakes because of not knowing or not seeing that I stepped outside His will for my life. Without others I had no prayer support, no one to pray for me or with me, no one to come in to agreement on my prayers, leaving them and me less effective and often discouraged.
       But this changed as I started to let others in and built connections within the body. I found that as I poured my gifting and talents out to them, they poured back into me. As we prayed and worked together for our Lord, my knowledge and understanding increased, as well as my faith, my gifts, my confidence and my love for God and others. As the connections continue to grow deeper I am seeing more and more the presence of God manifested in my life and the lives of those who serve Him. Thru all of this I learned the hard way that to be part of the body of Christ, is to need Him and the others who abide in Him, because we are one body of diverse gifting and functions (1 Corinthians 12: 4&12).
       I am reminded as I finish writing this of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 which reads '9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.'  When I read this passage it seems to say to me that we are stronger against opposition when we have the support of others, and I can truly say that has been the case in my life, that has been what God has shown me. Be blessed in the name of Yeshua my dear brothers and sisters.

John 15:1-8

1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Romans 12:3-8
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

1 Corinthians 1:10
I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.

Ephesians 4:16
From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

      

1 John 1:5-9

5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

                  

Focus on the Lord

       The last four or five days I have felt very discouraged, I find myself wondering when this struggle will end, its been since November with the end no where in site. I am finding it harder each day to push on and stay positive, to want to keep going, to want to keep trying. My body literally aches from the amount of stress I am under right now, and I find that I am exhausted all of the time. My body and mind tell me to stop, to let it go and stop trying so hard, why should I being doing so much of the work? Why should I care when no one else seems to? Why should I keep trying and pressing on when it doesn't seem to matter or make difference? But my spirit says something all together different.
       In my spirit I know that the end is closer than it feels, in my spirit I know I am doing what is right, what is good and pleasing to my Father. In my spirit I know it is really Him I am serving by my actions and not man. In my spirit I am reminded that my strength comes from the Lord, and that in Him there is always hope. In my spirit I know that I can call upon the Lord for help and comfort, I know that in Jesus there is always purpose for the pain, for this struggle, and that all this suffering will produce something beautiful to glorify the Father.
       This morning I was pretty down, but I'm getting better as I lean on God and spend time in the Word. Currently I am reading 1 Samuel, and as the Lord would have it I read about Saul pursuing David with the intent to kill him, and I started to relate to David. His circumstances were by far worse than mine are, but it was the relentlessness of the pursuit and David's attitude and actions that I related too. Why? Because even though he could have on two separate occasions ended the pursuit by taking Saul's life and taken the throne as God's appointed leader, he instead let Saul go. Saul was also anointed by God and David knew he was never to kill the anointed of God, so despite the urging of his men, David allowed Saul to live and did what was right by God regardless of the pressures of the others. Saul's pursuit of David exiled David from his home land, Saul took David's wife and gave her to another man, Saul attempted to murder David! And still David choose to do what was right, and in the end he was given what was promised to him, in the end Saul would be dead by his own hands, and David became King over Israel.
       It is easy to read that and get hope, and it did give me hope too, and I'm thankful for that as well as the wonderful encouraging people the Lord has used to comfort and pray with or for me today. But there was something else in there that I read today that gave me relief. See, I may not have someone pursuing me to destroy my flesh like David did, but my spirit has been under assault week after week with one attack after another, one set back on top of another, and it left me depleted, feeling low, and starting to doubt the promises I have. Then I read 1 Samuel 27:1; which says "1 And David said in his heart, I shall now perish one day by the hand of Saul: there is nothing better for me than that I should speedily escape into the land of the Philistines; and Saul shall despair of me, to seek me any more in any coast of Israel: so shall I escape out of his hand." I read that verse and responded in my heart with, 'he took his eyes off the promise, he knows that Saul's attempts won't succeed because of the promise the Lord made him, David knows that Saul won't kill him, he's just doubting because of what is going on.' Then the light bulb came on, and I knew that's what I had done too. I quickly realized I was like Peter when he was called onto the water, I was looking at the storm and not Jesus; and because of that I was sinking just like Peter.
     It took time, and a lot of prayer to refocus my mind on higher things, but I'm doing much better now. I see what I did, what David did, and Peter too, and now I am doing whatever I can to let go of the struggles and hurt; and focus on the Lord instead. It's easy to get swept away in the currents of the turbulent sea around us, but we must remember to keep our eyes on Jesus, because it is then that we can walk on water. It is then that we are gifted with the strength and endurance to make it to the end of this season and into the next. Be blessed my brothers and sisters, and keep your eyes on Yeshua!

Proverbs 2:2-5
Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

Isaiah 26:3   
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

1 Matthew 14:29-31

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” 

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

Romans 8:5

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.

1 Peter 3:17

For [it is] better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.

            

What Are You Waiting For?

        'But of that day and hour knoweth no [man], no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.' So were the words of  Yeshua at Matthew 24:36, in reference to the day of the return of the Lord. This morning I was thinking about this verse and a couple more that say something similar. I was thinking about a couple people I know who have been afraid to completely surrender to the Lord but do desire Him. And I was thinking of myself, how long I sought Him but still held onto the baggage that separated us, that kept me from fully trusting Him, and where I am now. I couldn't help thinking when I mulled over all of this, what took me so long? What was I waiting for? What are they waiting for?
       I can totally understand how scary and hard it can be to come to the cross, to lay down our burdens and just trust that God will handle it, trust that He really will forgive and love us despite the ways we have failed. To trust that He truly will provide for our needs and give us life in abundance. I understand this fear because I felt it, the doubts and skepticism, the what if I'm wrong and the world is right? And I understand the fear that comes up when you realize that change is part of the bargain, that you will be changed from the inside out, I know how scary it is to receive that revelation and wonder who you will be if you surrendered, to be afraid of that change knowing you won't live life the same, that there will be sacrifices, things you have to give up and walk away from because they have no part in God.
       I sat in church many weekends hearing the preacher's impassioned cries for repentance, hearing my heart's eager reply, knowing I truly desired to be close to Him again, that I truly wanted back what I had forfeited in favor of the world. But I was afraid of it too, and I would sit there with tears in my eyes wondering how He could possibly love me, possibly forgive me. I sat there wondering who I could be in Christ, but was afraid to take that step. I was afraid of the light, afraid to really look on my sin and see it for what it was, and what it was doing to my life. I was afraid to accept Jesus in a real way, and honestly I think it was because part of me believed the lie that I didn't deserve forgiveness or that something I had done was so bad that God wouldn't forgive me. So I held on to the things I should have been dying to. I have learned since then though, that when we walk in truth and lean on the Lord there is nothing to fear. Now I understand the gift of surrender, the freedom there in. I have traded my shame, my hurt, and my defeated, angry attitude for the Lord's beauty, for abundant joyful life, for hope and a future, for peace in the storms, and an attitude of gratitude. I have learned that surrender is a daily and necessary thing to live for Jesus, and that in this surrender the abundance of life is granted.
       We don't know how much longer we have to wait for His return, but we know it will happen because the Lord's word never returns to Him void (Isaiah 55:11), and the current state of the world testifies that the time of His return approaches. We can't say if it will be today or tomorrow or a hundred years from now, but we do know the clock is winding down and the time is growing shorter with each passing day. So I ask, do you really want to continue on this way knowing that? Do you really want to keep holding onto that sorrow and sin? Do you really want to keep hiding from God? Or are you ready to surrender? Are you ready to trade in your dirty rags for robes of white? To throw off your sin and be clothed in the glory of the Lord? He is waiting for you, what are you waiting for? Be blessed in Jesus name.

Psalm 9:10
And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Matthew 16:24-27
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.

 1 Thessalonians 5:2
 For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.

2 Peter 3:10
But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

James 4:8
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.    

Be Vigilant in Faith

      Lately I've been getting a lot more of the type of comments that say things like 'the voice in your head isn't God' 'God is a fairy tale' or some other pretty negative things. I don't let these words discourage me though, I know the Truth because His evidence, His presence is in my life daily, I have known life with and without God so I know what difference He makes, I know He is real. I do my best to not pay attention to these negative comments, but sometimes I will engage with the people who made them and try to minister to them, try to point them back to the Father depending on what their comments were, but most others I simply ignore, realizing that they are only looking to start a disagreement. I could be wrong in this behavior but I just don't see how arguing with someone would change their hearts, so I choose to just turn them over to the Lord in prayer rather than being drug into an argument with someone who doesn't really want to listen.
       It does honestly break my heart to see people so deceived though, and to know that the deception is spreading ever wider all the time, even into the churches. This knowledge that the deception is spreading makes it all the more important that we, who are in the Body, seek the Father daily, that we spend time alone with Him, learning about Him and from Him. It is important that we check ourselves, our hearts, and our walk with the Lord often, are we being the light to others? Will they see Jesus in us by the way we live and give? Are our actions pleasing and glorifying to the Father? Are we pointing others to Yeshua? Are we showing them the love of God?
       To be honest I'm not just asking these questions for you but for myself too. These are important questions that we probably should all ask ourselves more often, everyday really. It is so easy to fall away and not even realize it, so easy to go astray into sin and deception, it is easy not see it in ourselves right away, or at all until its too late. That's why Peter warned us to be sober and vigilant (1 Peter 5:8-9); he tells us that Satan prowls around like a lion looking for people to devour, and he says that to resist him we must be firm in our faith. That means that our faith then must be forefront in our lives, our service to God and our relationship to Him must be our foundation for all relationships and things in our lives, that is solid faith, firm faith that won't be shaken because it is consistently looking to the Creator.
       We know from the Bible that the deception and corruption in this world are only going to get worse until Yeshua returns for His Bride. We don't know when that will be, but we know God's word never returns void (Isaiah 55:11), He never fails to fulfill His promises (Numbers 23:19;
Isaiah 40:8; Romans 9:6) so it will happen and we need to be prepared for it, our hearts should be ready. We need to be like the 5 wise virgins Jesus talked about found in Matthew 25:1-13; ready with oil to shine light and enter the banquet with our bridegroom at any given time. But that is impossible if you aren't doing the necessary things to be prepared.
       What are the necessary things? First having that relationship with God I keep talking about, not an every once in a while relationship but an everyday, all day relationship. Second we should check our hearts and actions against the Word often so we are focused on the things that please the Father and can receive correction from when we go off course. Third we need to be living what we read, we need the scriptures to be applied to our lives in a real way. This is how we avoid deception in our own life and shine a light that others will see. This is how we stay vigilant in a time of great deception. Be blessed.            

Ephesians 5:6                         
Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

Colossians 2:8

See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.

1 Peter 5:8-9
8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

Accountable

       I have noticed in myself and others that people tend to like to blame their problems on others. We don't want to take responsibility for our part in things, even if our part was just allowing it to go on in the first place. It's much easier to say 'they are bad and took advantage of me' than it is to say 'I was foolish and should have stopped giving them things sooner'. It is much easier to say I'm an alcoholic because my parents were, than to do the responsible thing and try to stop drinking or never begin in the first place(which I know isn't easy, but with God it can be done). It is easier to say that you are unhappy in your marriage because of your partner, than to look at the things that you could do to improve it. It is much easier to throw stones, than it is to look at the whole situation and realize we had a hand in our current circumstances, that we did make choices that led to this point. And I think this lack of personal accountability relates back to why many reject the idea of surrendering to God, even people who call themselves Christians.  
       Sometimes I think the problem people really have with following the Lord, the problem they really have with surrendering to Him, is that it means they are accountable for things in their life. They are accountable for the choices they've made and very often that means we are actually partially to blame. I think the fact that you have to crush your pride and admit you were wrong, that you can no longer hide or play the blame game with your mistakes is really hard for most people. No longer can you blame everyone else for your problems or your unhappiness, instead when you surrender you must come to God and say 'yes I did these things and they were wrong. It doesn't matter what anyone else did to me that led me to that point, I still chose to do wrong and I'm sorry, Lord. I want to do better, I want to be better, I want you, and I know I need you, I'm too weak on my own.' This crushing of pride is hard for most, but it is when we come face to face with our mistakes, taking accountability for them, that we are able to really learn from them.
       Like it or not there is always a choice, we can do right even when others are doing wrong, or follow the crowd. I am realizing as I write this some situations that I am or have done this in myself. I included myself at the top knowing I've done it in the past, but revelations about the current circumstances are new. In this situation I have used excuses and blamed the current dilemma's out come on others without accepting my part in it. I knowingly did wrong by going along with what the others wanted even though I was uncomfortable I didn't see how to avoid it though without causing more stress, so I used the excuse 'I had no choice' to justify myself. I see now how wrong and unloving this actually is to be placing the full weight of blame on someone else. I now understand why I was to write this today. It's time I take accountability in this situation, I need to admit I was part of it, that it was wrong; I could have said 'no' even if it was the hard road and I need to ask for forgiveness.
       Brothers and sisters, please don't make my mistake, don't hide or blame shift your mistakes. God already knows the truth and He's waiting on you to be honest with Him and yourself. This honesty is humbling, it's pride crushing, but there is freedom in it. There is a lifting of burden and the opportunity to do better when we look clearly at the situation and admit our involvement. There is an opportunity for growth when we do this. Be blessed.

Jeremiah 17:10
“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

Luke 17:1-4
1 Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! 2 It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. 3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. 4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

Romans 14:10-12

10 You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written:

“ ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,

‘every knee will bow before me;

every tongue will acknowledge God.’ ”

12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.    

Hebrews 4:13

And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.   

Love Leads to an Abundant Life

       Not long ago I was speaking to someone about love, about how after I came to know Yeshua as my Lord and Savior my idea and depth of love changed. I have actually been thinking about that and speaking on that with others a lot recently, if I am to be really honest. It started a week or maybe close to two weeks ago now, I'm not really sure when, with someone commenting on a Christian post and speaking against the Lord. I can't remember all that was said now but at some point in the conversation with this person I said that the Lord had taught me to love, that before God I didn't truly understand love and I stand by that statement. It's not to say that I didn't love people before, but the love was different, it was shallow and selfish in comparison. Before God became my central focus I did love people, and I have always been the type of person to take other's burdens onto myself, but I never knew how deep love could run, or the joy and peace it could bring because I always guarded myself to some degree.
        I have thought over, and over about how my idea of love and depth of love has changed since coming to know the Lord, and as I meditated on that thought I started to think about how Jesus promised us life more abundantly in Him, (John 10:10) I thought about how He said we will be known as His by the love we show for others (John 13:34-35) and I the thought came to me that the two go hand in hand.
         What I mean is this, as I have learned to love more like Jesus did, the serving, open, honest way and to take down my protective walls guarding my heart from others I have started to have a deepening connection with the people around me. I have more love and respect for my husband than ever before, and it is because I have realized that loving him is loving Yahweh, it is service to the Lord and act of obedience, being obedient is an expression of our love for our Creator. This breakthrough in my marriage led to breakthrough in my relationship with my parents, with my mother-in-law, with my friends, and strangers I meet because I realized that it was the same, by loving them I was fulfilling the command given to us by the Father to 'love your neighbor as yourself' (Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 19:19 & 22:39) and showing my love for God. As this philosophy took hold on me the love grew deeper in my heart, and my selfish motives for loving people started to slip away. I no longer loved the people around me just because I had too and they are my family, or because they might love me in return or help me someday. Instead I started to love them because love had taken up residence in my heart and it poured out to them without expecting anything in return.
       At the same time that I was experiencing this shift of my understanding and practice of love another change occurred in my life. When I began to love people just to love them, without selfish motives my worries and anxieties started to slip away too because I no longer feared being hurt or disappointed by unreturned love, I understood and feel the love of the Father and no longer need or desire the approval of men. This lack of worry has led to me enjoying life more, to experiencing life more abundantly. I have peace and joy in my heart because I know the Father cares for me, even if things don't go my way I can trust Him because He is love, because He is good and He will use even the worst situation to bless in the end. I found freedom in loving Jesus and learning to love like Him, and I am think that is abundant life, tat is what Jesus meant not money or things, but the freedom to love and trust in the Lord, the freedom to experience life in fullness. Be blessed brothers and sisters, in Jesus name.        

Joshua 22:5
Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, to love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and to cling to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
       
1 Corinthians 16:14
Let all that you do be done in love.

Colossians 3:14
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

1 John 4:8
Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.

Time to Stop the Distraction

       Sometimes listening for inspiration, listening for God's voice can be hard. There are so many distractions today with all the smart TVs, tablets, smartphones, gaming systems, and whatever else they've been coming out with. I know personally, that just finding enough uninterrupted time to sit here, pray, read, and write can be a challenge. It seems like I can't set my phone down for more than a minute before it starts beeping, buzzing, and chiming with notification after notification, calls, emails, and text and then the temptation builds to check it, distracting me from what I originally set out to do, write something that honors the Father in heaven, and maybe encourage others if I'm very blessed. I've been thinking about distractions a lot recently as I have been struggling to not check my phone every five minutes during the day for the last couple of weeks. My husband and I are in the process of buying our first home, and it seems like it is all I can do not to check my email. This is a good, happy, exciting kind of distraction, but the fact remains that it is still a distraction, still something taking my focus off what I am supposed to be doing, still something distracting me from God and the task He has given me. This distraction has made it difficult to write some days recently, to really clear my mind and focus during prayer so that I can hear from the Lord.
       At first to be honest, I didn't relate the struggle I was having in finding inspiration to write to my being so distracted lately. I tried to find lots of other things to blame it on instead, fatigue and stress being the two biggest things. But on the weekends I have a rule that I power down, I stay off social media, only check my mobile games a couple of times a day and instead spend the extra time really in the moment with my family, and the Lord. It's my way of making sure that I am not just walking through life but that I'm really experiencing it and building relationships with the people that I say are important to me. This weekend though I caught myself on my phone frequently. At every beep, buzz, or vibration I was picking it up to check what it said. It didn't matter who I was with or what I was doing, I checked. I defended this as me just being excited about news on the house, and didn't see it as a problem because most of the time I am good about it. But last night when I was going to bed I caught myself putting my bible aside to check my email yet again, knowing that it wasn't likely to be my realtor as it was about 11pm. This caused me to pause. I thought back over the last couple of weeks that I've been having difficulty writing and realized this wasn't the first time I had done this. I had often been stopping my prayers, or stopping my studies to check my phone. I had been doing repeatedly without even realizing it. I had let my excitement become a stumbling block stealing my focus from the important things, and from the task at hand.
       I know that I am not the only one ever guilty of this, as humans we often get wrapped up in the new and exciting. We are easily distracted by the new and tend to get tunnel vision when it comes to it, but we can't let that come between us and what's really important, God and our families. That's what I was reminded of last night as I set my bible aside for the phone, I saw my actions and was disappointed in myself, I switched back to reading and turned the volume off on my phone, then I made the decision to do better. I decided that I needed God time to be just that God time, and I had to put the distractions away, because it is in those quiet moments with Him that He does the most work in us, whether we know it or not. I hope that by sharing this today I encouraged you today to focus more, and get distracted less. Be blessed.    

Joshua 1:8
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

Psalm 119:15
I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.

Proverbs 4:25
Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.

Romans 8:5
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.

Colossians 3:2
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.                                   

Jesus in You

       If someone from my past met me today I know I'd seem pretty different; for the first time in my life I have confidence, I like me, and now a days I am more often sweet than surly. If they asked me what happened to me, how or why I changed the only answer I can give is 'Jesus in me'. See, it was when I started to read the Bible everyday and I started applying it to my life that I changed. Jesus showed up then and started to fix what was broken in me. When I showed Him I was seriously, passionately in love with Him, everything in my world changed, my entire perspective on life, my future, and my purpose changed. I say this with all sincerity, Yeshua changed me, and He can you too.
        It will take total surrender, total devotion, and a deep knowing in your heart that you can't do it on your own. You have to want to give up the life you're in, and you have to be willing to do whatever the Lord asks of you to change it. You have to be willing to commit yourself to something more than yourself. You have to decide everyday to live for Him. And I don't mean that in the false way it is often stated by some where it's actually more like 'I'm saved and living for Jesus, but I'm living my life as I please and doing whatever I want because Jesus died for me.' No, I'm talking about actual salvation where you wake up every day with this prayer in your heart and on your tongue, 'Lord let me be used to turn them to you, let them see you in me, Lord let my heartbreak for them as yours does, and let it lead me to action.'
       Why do I say in that prayer for your heart to break and lead you to action? Because of the words of our Messiah in John 14:15-23; and John 15:1-17.  The repeated command here to prove that we are His is to love, Jesus says it is by our love that we are recognized as His but we cannot fulfill that command unless we allow our actions to show that love. We need our hearts to break for them, we need to be compassionate, and show that compassion by what we do. We need to be wearing our hearts of compassion on our sleeves for the world to see. Yes that means being vulnerable, yes that means you will be taken advantage of at times, and yes that means you need to forgive them anyway yes it will hurt at times, and it will be hard, and your flesh will fight you every step of the way because it loves rebellion, but with the Holy Spirit and Yeshua in your heart the flesh can be overcome and when it is the spiritual fruit that the battle bares will leave you humbled, grateful, and changed.
       Something I learned and am really still learning on this journey, that I was never actually taught in church, is that salvation isn't really a one time deal, its a daily way of living. It's an all day, everyday battle of spirit and flesh. And it is a constant coming back to the Lord, coming back to the cross. A constant refocusing of the mind on higher things than on the distractions that are surrounding us. It is an everyday deepening of the relationship between you and God, and you and His children. That is how you know you have salvation, and that is when you will see the changes in yourself and in the world around you. That's when you know you have Jesus in you. Be blessed in Yeshua's name.

Psalm 103:1-5

1 Praise the Lord, my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the Lord, my soul,

and forget not all his benefits—

3 who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Romans 12:1-2
1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

2 Corinthians 3:18
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
 
Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Colossians 3:10
And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.