About 8-almost 9 years ago now, I made a really big mistake. I had a really good friend whose love and devotion I should have appreciated, but I didn't. I treated her badly, taking her for granted, and eventually lost her friendship because of it. This was a really good friendship, and I know now a gift from God when I really needed a friend. At first when everything went wrong I tried to blame her, tried to ease my conscience by saying it was all her fault, something that my other friend at the time encouraged me in. Between the two friends I had one true friend, and one friend who was in all reality controlling and manipulating me with guilt and flattery; and I was dumb enough to fall for it. Between the two when push came to shove, I picked the wrong friend. Now years later I have seen the light and accepted the truth; now I take responsibility for what happened and my part in it.
I wanted to share my failing in this area today because recently God has blessed me with the same good friend. Now we are talking again and rebuilding the trust between us, and honestly it is the answer to prayer that I didn't think I'd ever receive. It's been a slow process, and has taken a lot of love, patience, and humbleness on my part, and a lot of forgiveness and understanding on hers. The whole process of healing and moving back to this point where we are able to talk as friends again started two years ago when she added me to her facebook, I didn't request her from fear of rejection, but for some reason she requested me, I still don't know why. I was very excited then, but we spoke only once or twice, and went out once for lunch after this. It was really great to be around her again and meet her new son, but I could tell there was still a lot of tension on both sides.
After this she eventually blocked me and that prompted me to do several things, first to pray to God for acceptance and understanding of her decision. I didn't know what I had done this time to hurt her, but I realized that it was her right and her choice to block me, so instead of letting my hurt lead me into anger and bitterness I prayed. After praying I wrote a post called "Letting Go and Accepting it" where I talked about not chasing after her and just trusting God that if it was over He had reason for it. The next thing took me several days to do, but after much prayer and thought I emailed her one last time to say goodbye. I thanked her for the short time she had allowed me to re-enter her life and being my friend when I needed one, and I told her that I hoped she would find joy and peace in her life. I told her that I would pray for the Lord to prosper her, and that I would always think of her warmly. I don't know if she ever saw or read that email, but it doesn't matter to me, because sometime later she added me back.
Since she has added me back I have been very careful not to over step any boundaries, I didn't want to hurt or offend her so I kept my distance, but occasionally would let her know by comments on post that I was praying for her, or I would try to help her when I could. I loved her without expectation of ever receiving her love again in return. I was simply content to know she was doing well, and to love her from a distance, rejoicing at her successes and praying if she was struggling. Then a couple months ago the dad of a mutual friend of ours died suddenly. She and I both went to the funeral, in fact we rode there together with my mom like we used to, and I don't know how to explain it or even really what it was, but something was different from the last time we got together. This time it felt like old times, the three of us stood around laughing, talking, and teasing like time never passed. The wounds we had caused each other didn't matter anymore, just the love we had for each other.
This was a turning point for us, it set things in motion for us to rebuild, after that night we messaged back and forth some and then again it fell away, but not for long this time. I saw a post on facebook recently that she was hurting and upset and as I tended to do occasionally, I let her know I was there for her if she needed to talk. At first she rejected the idea, and I said that was fine, but reminded her we all need someone to talk too, and vent to sometimes, so she messaged me. Now we are frequently texting each other, sometimes for hours other times just when we have a minute. We have talked about our pain and I have apologized, admitted my mistakes, and told her how much I have regretted how I hurt her, and we both said how much we had missed each other. How we wished all along that the other had been part of the big events in each other's life that we missed out on because of this. Finally we were talking again and we both knew that despite everything that had happened between us that we had always loved each other.
I know this has been a really long post, and I'm sorry for that, but to make my point I needed to explain the whole situation. I wanted you to know about the pain I caused this person, and also how by giving the situation over to God, trusting Him, and just loving whenever the opportunity arose things changed. For me this experience has taught me the truth of the Apostle Peter's word's found in 1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." My sins against her could have completely destroyed what we had forever and it very nearly did, but with love, time, patience, forgiveness, and trust in God's plans for us, things are getting better, we are healing together, and I have learned to value her for the gift she truly is. All I can really say now is praise the Lord above for His healing and love! Be blessed.
Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.
Proverbs 17:9
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.
1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
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