I realize that it probably seems strange to a lot of people that I would even want to make excuses to get out of being social. I mean, why would I not want to make connections? Why is that such a problem for me? Being social is easy right? Well, not for me. I am a very introverted person honestly. I value my privacy, my alone time, and find socializing to be an exhausting activity most of the time. Ever since I was a child I preferred to be by myself and work on my own, I hated group activities at school, or youth group, and I never liked being forced to participate in them. Groups in general are not my thing. Even in church I tend to sit by myself, away from everyone except my husband, and leave shortly after service with only saying hi and bye to as few of individuals as I can get away with. I'm not shy really, I can be very out going and bubbly if the situation calls for it, I can seem like an extrovert in these situations but really I just like being alone. I like quiet and solitude with God, I like having just a couple people close to me and keeping most people at a distance. Only socializing a little each day and mostly online or via text messages. So when God tells me that I need to make connections, that I need to branch out and socialize more on a person to person, face to face kind of way, I inwardly groan.
I understand that while it's not something I want to do, that if God is asking me to do this it is for my own good, and very likely the good of whatever connections He brings into my path. I know that God will be with me as I go forward in this seeking His guidance for the connections, and that I can trust Him, but being very truthful there is still a big part of me, a part of my flesh inside me kicking and screaming and throwing a tantrum saying "I don't want to try to make more friends! I just want my time at home alone! I don't want to work on new relationships or go to bible study with other people I want to do it at home with just you God! I don't want any other people I just need you and the ones you already put in my life." But I realize not all of that is truth.
People, as we know walk in and out of our lives, and yes some stay a part of lives for a lifetime, but other's have very short seasons in our lives. Each of these people in our lives adds something to the shaping of our a character, they each teach us something either good or bad about themselves and us. But if you are like me and constantly avoiding social situations you don't allow yourself that opportunity. This has been my big lesson lately, this is what God has been speaking to my spirit about. And why He has given me so many sermons on connections and their importance in our walk, one of which that specifically used being an introvert as an excuse, the one that finally broke me to admit that yes I've been hiding behind my computer screen, and yes I need to step out and let people meet me. I have a dream of getting ordained in time and speaking in churches and at small events of the glory of our Savior, but I'll never get that opportunity if I don't start meeting people and making connections. I will need support, I will need to know people who can help me to get there, and help me to stay focused on the Lord most of all. I need new connections for a new season. But most of all I need to obey.
Part of me doesn't want too, but I know I will, I will obey my Father and not just kind of like last time. I will put effort forth and not only make connections but put effort into building the connections. I will seek the Lord to know the right ones and trust in His plans for me. He isn't asking what's easy for me, He isn't asking me to do something I even like, as I said I find it exhausting, I get burned out from socializing, but He is asking me to do what I need to do to be the woman He formed me to be. He has known me since before I was born, and loved me with an everlasting love, so in obedience I shall strive to serve, putting aside my selfishness. Be blessed.
Exodus 4:10-17
10 Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
11 The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
13 But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
14 Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. 15 You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. 16 He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. 17 But take this staff in your hand so you can perform the signs with it."
Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
2 Peter 1:3-11
3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.
10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
No comments:
Post a Comment