Last night in the wake of more sad news about events in our country my husband spoke to me about the hopelessness he sees, about how so many have gone into such a dark place in their minds that all it takes is a little influence from the enemy, a few whispers, and people snap. He spoke to me about how little hope he sees, how little hope others see in this world and how it distressed him and made him sad for the future. He told me a little about how depressed the people around him seem, and how it seemed like the darkness, the cruelty and hopelessness was choking the light and good out of humanity. I couldn't disagree with him, you need only turn on the news to see how the world is continually becoming darker and more chaotic, but there is still hope. Jesus is our hope and hope is what we need to combat this.
As we spoke last night I reminded my husband of this and that as followers of Yeshua we are to share that hope, we are to spread the hope that the good news of the resurrection and our bought freedom brings. Before I continue on the top of hope which is my main focus I want to back up to what I wrote a moment ago, that our freedom was bought. I want to address this because it is that payment that gave us hope, that gives us hope still. We have hope because Christ died and rose again, His blood paid the price for our sins. His resurrections is the defeat of the enemy, the defeat of death and sin in our lives when we accept Him as our Lord and serve Him faithfully. Because of Jesus we have light and hope in the darkest times, because of Jesus there is victory in our future.
In this chaotic and troubled world we live in I have hope because I know the Lord, and I trust in His Word, but I am not to keep that hope to myself. It is not to be hidden away but shared with the hopeless and hurting, the Great Commission is a call to spread the gospel not only for the apostles but for us as well. Revelation 12:11 tells us that the accuser (satan, Lucifer, the devil) is overcome by the blood of the lamb and the words of their testimony, why? The blood of the lamb is the sin offering that Yeshua became for us, His blood wiped us clean and set us free, freedom from sin gives us a testimony to God's power, a testimony to God's power scares satan because it spreads the hope he seeks to destroy, because it is when we don't have hope that we are most likely to be influenced by him or other fallen angels. It's when we are hopeless that we often turn to those things that in the end kill our souls.
When we share our testimonies with others we give them hope that there is a God who loves us, there is truly a plan. When we share God's Word we are being used by Him to spread truth and hope to a broken, deceived, and diseased world. When we share hope we are acting on the love of God for His children. When we act in loving ways towards the hopeless, the broken and the hurting we are bringing light and hope to someone who may not even have known it existed. There is hope in the cross and it is job, our duty of service to others and God to spread that hope and show them the light of Yeshua! The world may be a dark place filled with hurting people, but our Lord has already overcome it, He has made the way and is our hope. Blessed in the name of the risen Lord, Yeshua.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world
1 John 4:4
Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Best Intentions
Often I have the best intentions, I really mean it when I say it, but then I get up caught up in other tasks, and forget. This is something that people have gotten on me about before, and I'm sure I will continue to hear about for the rest of my life, because simply I am human, I forget things, I make mistakes, and I get busy with life. But just because I'm human and I know we are all guilty of this sometimes doesn't mean I shouldn't try to do better. Most especially in the case of prayer, I don't think praying should ever be one of those things that fall into that list of things I say I will do, that I intend to do but don't follow through with. Knowing what an impact prayer has made in my life, I realize now how important it is to pray for someone when they ask for it, or when you say you will because that could be exactly why God had them cross your path that day.
When I wasn't as serious about my relationship with God I used to say 'I'll pray for you' all the time without ever really following through. Most of the time it was because of the reasons that I mentioned above, I got caught up in other things and forgot. At that time it never bothered me that this happened, I'd just shrug my shoulders and go oh well, next time I'll try harder to remember to pray. I excused the behavior in myself because my intentions were good, but I never really did try harder. I never did anything to stop it from happening again.
Then sometime after I started to invest in my relationship with God again, this behavior started to weigh heavily on my heart. How could I possibly be pleasing God if I made promises I didn't keep? Even if I wasn't intentionally lying, wasn't I still technically lying because I didn't do it? These thoughts rolled around for awhile and I had some conversations with others on here about it that farther convicted my heart, and then finally my grandmother said something to me that really made it clear. To be honest, she and I weren't even talking about this, but during our conversation she said to me, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." That did it, I knew then I was so very, very wrong to shrug my shoulders and go oh well maybe next time when I didn't keep my word. I knew then that I needed to follow through and do better, just as we are instructed in James 4:17 ' 17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.'
I started to change my behavior after that, I don't wait to pray anymore, I do it immediately no matter where I am so I know I won't forget and I have seen amazing things because of this and had people say how much it helped. This has been a huge blessing and encouragement in continuing the practice of praying right away. But this has been a problem in my life in other ways too, there are other times that I have good intentions but didn't follow through as I should, recently this was brought to my attention by someone else, and again today. As I wrote and thought again about my grandma's words and the words of James that I shared, I was convicted to do better, to not just have good intentions but to follow through with them.
The Bible tells us that as believers we will be known as Yeshua's by the love we show others (John 13:34-35) but if we never express our love in action how can our actions glorify our King? What kind of faith do we display with only good intentions and no works, because isn't our faith supposed to lead to good works? Today I see this more clearly than before and am determined to do better./ I may have the best of intentions in my heart, but if my actions don't match I am truly failing myself and more importantly God. God bless you all.
Proverbs 3:28
Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.
Titus 1:16
They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.
James 1:22
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves
James 2:14-17
What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
When I wasn't as serious about my relationship with God I used to say 'I'll pray for you' all the time without ever really following through. Most of the time it was because of the reasons that I mentioned above, I got caught up in other things and forgot. At that time it never bothered me that this happened, I'd just shrug my shoulders and go oh well, next time I'll try harder to remember to pray. I excused the behavior in myself because my intentions were good, but I never really did try harder. I never did anything to stop it from happening again.
Then sometime after I started to invest in my relationship with God again, this behavior started to weigh heavily on my heart. How could I possibly be pleasing God if I made promises I didn't keep? Even if I wasn't intentionally lying, wasn't I still technically lying because I didn't do it? These thoughts rolled around for awhile and I had some conversations with others on here about it that farther convicted my heart, and then finally my grandmother said something to me that really made it clear. To be honest, she and I weren't even talking about this, but during our conversation she said to me, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." That did it, I knew then I was so very, very wrong to shrug my shoulders and go oh well maybe next time when I didn't keep my word. I knew then that I needed to follow through and do better, just as we are instructed in James 4:17 ' 17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.'
I started to change my behavior after that, I don't wait to pray anymore, I do it immediately no matter where I am so I know I won't forget and I have seen amazing things because of this and had people say how much it helped. This has been a huge blessing and encouragement in continuing the practice of praying right away. But this has been a problem in my life in other ways too, there are other times that I have good intentions but didn't follow through as I should, recently this was brought to my attention by someone else, and again today. As I wrote and thought again about my grandma's words and the words of James that I shared, I was convicted to do better, to not just have good intentions but to follow through with them.
The Bible tells us that as believers we will be known as Yeshua's by the love we show others (John 13:34-35) but if we never express our love in action how can our actions glorify our King? What kind of faith do we display with only good intentions and no works, because isn't our faith supposed to lead to good works? Today I see this more clearly than before and am determined to do better./ I may have the best of intentions in my heart, but if my actions don't match I am truly failing myself and more importantly God. God bless you all.
Proverbs 3:28
Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.
Titus 1:16
They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.
James 1:22
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves
James 2:14-17
What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Releasing it to the Lord
Sometimes we don't see or appreciate the people in our lives for what they are really doing because what they say or how they react isn't what we wanted. We get angry at them and say hurtful things, we pull away from them and feed that wrath with angry thoughts about all their mistakes or 'proof' that they don't really care. We listen to the little voice that says you are right and they are wrong and gives you the freedom to treat them anyway you choose, because they deserve it. We blind ourselves to all that they do and have done and only see their faults. We close ourselves off from them emotionally and react to them from the bitterness we built up, hurting both of you more.
That's what happened to me today, not that I was the angry with a person who had tried to help me(not that that hasn't happened before), but that someone I've been trying to help is angry at me. This person said that I never support them, that every time they come to me with something I turn it around, that I never take their side. While I can't disagree that I do turn the situation around, I do disagree that I never support them because I do everything I can to try to help them see what they are upset about in a bigger picture so they can get clarity over the situation and I encourage them in the positive aspects of their life. This person is fragile and easily hurt, I understand that and have been there. I understand getting angry hurt and upset when things don't go the way we want or how we feel they should, but I also know that staying stuck in those emotions isn't healthy, especially for this person who is easily drug into a negative mindset. So, I let them express their feelings, I listen and let them say what they have to, then I try to get them to see it from the other perspective too so they aren't just caught up in themselves, and their hurt. I try to get them to see and understand the whole situation to make the sting easier to bare, so they see it isn't as personnel as they are taking it.
But that's not what they see or hear, no matter how many times I tell them "I agree" and "I understand", or "I would feel the same," or "it's okay to feel that way but we can't stay angry we need to remember the difference in culture, age, sex," whatever the circumstances may be, all this person hears is me saying you're wrong. It's not what I'm saying at all really, but its how they feel and what they hear because I won't join in on the rant and I won't give them pity. I won't allow them to feel sorry for themselves, so I'm the bad guy. I always have something positive to remind them of, to try and turn their mood around, so I'm the bad guy. They want to be angry, they want to be justified in that anger, and they want everyone around them to agree and go 'poor you it shouldn't be like that, you're right and they are wrong' but I won't. I know ultimately it will do this person more harm than good to feed into this thought pattern, so I'm the bad guy. Because I try to help this person understand that while what they are feeling is natural, it's better to let the hurt and anger go, I'm wrong.
Being in this situation gives me a new gratefulness to God because I know for a long time this was Him reaching out to me. I know that again and again I rejected Him as He tried to help and heal, as He pointed me to release it all to Him. But stuck in my 'woe is me' mindset I lashed out at the only person really trying to help me, because I didn't want the help, I wanted to be angry. So, now after getting it all off my chest and praying most of the day, I've decided that instead of being angry back at this person, or letting their words continue to cut me as I did earlier today, I'm taking my advice. I'm looking at the bigger picture and letting go. I am going to continue to love them right where they are and let their anger be forgotten. I'm going to give them their space to express their rage and disappointment, but I will continue not to indulge in it myself, and most importantly I will keep praying for them. Thanks for reading as I went over the process of realizing I needed to just let go, God bless you!
Psalm 119:49-50
49 Remember your word to your servant, in which you have made me hope. 50 This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.
Romans 8:26-28
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
That's what happened to me today, not that I was the angry with a person who had tried to help me(not that that hasn't happened before), but that someone I've been trying to help is angry at me. This person said that I never support them, that every time they come to me with something I turn it around, that I never take their side. While I can't disagree that I do turn the situation around, I do disagree that I never support them because I do everything I can to try to help them see what they are upset about in a bigger picture so they can get clarity over the situation and I encourage them in the positive aspects of their life. This person is fragile and easily hurt, I understand that and have been there. I understand getting angry hurt and upset when things don't go the way we want or how we feel they should, but I also know that staying stuck in those emotions isn't healthy, especially for this person who is easily drug into a negative mindset. So, I let them express their feelings, I listen and let them say what they have to, then I try to get them to see it from the other perspective too so they aren't just caught up in themselves, and their hurt. I try to get them to see and understand the whole situation to make the sting easier to bare, so they see it isn't as personnel as they are taking it.
But that's not what they see or hear, no matter how many times I tell them "I agree" and "I understand", or "I would feel the same," or "it's okay to feel that way but we can't stay angry we need to remember the difference in culture, age, sex," whatever the circumstances may be, all this person hears is me saying you're wrong. It's not what I'm saying at all really, but its how they feel and what they hear because I won't join in on the rant and I won't give them pity. I won't allow them to feel sorry for themselves, so I'm the bad guy. I always have something positive to remind them of, to try and turn their mood around, so I'm the bad guy. They want to be angry, they want to be justified in that anger, and they want everyone around them to agree and go 'poor you it shouldn't be like that, you're right and they are wrong' but I won't. I know ultimately it will do this person more harm than good to feed into this thought pattern, so I'm the bad guy. Because I try to help this person understand that while what they are feeling is natural, it's better to let the hurt and anger go, I'm wrong.
Being in this situation gives me a new gratefulness to God because I know for a long time this was Him reaching out to me. I know that again and again I rejected Him as He tried to help and heal, as He pointed me to release it all to Him. But stuck in my 'woe is me' mindset I lashed out at the only person really trying to help me, because I didn't want the help, I wanted to be angry. So, now after getting it all off my chest and praying most of the day, I've decided that instead of being angry back at this person, or letting their words continue to cut me as I did earlier today, I'm taking my advice. I'm looking at the bigger picture and letting go. I am going to continue to love them right where they are and let their anger be forgotten. I'm going to give them their space to express their rage and disappointment, but I will continue not to indulge in it myself, and most importantly I will keep praying for them. Thanks for reading as I went over the process of realizing I needed to just let go, God bless you!
Psalm 119:49-50
49 Remember your word to your servant, in which you have made me hope. 50 This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.
Romans 8:26-28
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Monday, August 24, 2015
God Brought Me Full Circle
This morning as I drove into work I was thinking a lot on the cross, the sacrifice that gave me access to the Father in heaven, cleansed me of my sins and gave me new life in the resurrection of our Lord. I thought about this new life, this new me and how lately, I have been told several times by people that I am a zealot. I thought about how I used to dislike those who I considered to be zealots, and the irony of now being considered one. I thought about how I found them to be annoying, because I didn't get what they were saying. How I thought they were full of bull crap when they would talk about the joy of the Lord and how God communicated with them. How I really couldn't understand the peace that seemed to envelope them even in times of stress and wondered if it was all an act. I couldn't understand the people who were truly devoted to God, that were so devoted that He was involved in every conversation and they saw that everything in life related back to God and so I rejected them, I sneered at them and rolled my eyes at their testimonies. I thought I hated them, but I was jealous to be honest, because I wanted what they had and didn't know how to get it, I didn't think I could or that I deserved it.
Then the day came that I was finally broken enough to set aside my pride and start to really hand my life to God. I stopped just saying God was first and I started to really love God first. I started to make time for reading God's Word everyday, I started praying not just when I needed something but all throughout the day. I made it an everyday priority to spend time getting to know Him and to learn His word. As I did this I started to see how many of verses I was drawn to had to do with not being afraid and handing God my worry, something I had never really been able to do before. But with Jesus's help I learned to cast my worries unto the Lord (Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7) I learned to let go, to pray once or two for an issue then praise in the waiting, and when the worry would return to mind (which it always does) I spoke God's word to the worry. Whether it was a word of confirmation I had received, or another verse from the Bible, speaking God's word to my worry and over my situation gave me the ability to walk in the joy of the Lord, the perfect peace found only in the presence of God, and allowed me not to worry.
As I worried less, I saw more and more His provision, which resulted in me trusting the Lord more. With this I began to see that as we trusted and 'worried not' our blessings and joy in life increased, and this increase in joy revealed to me what abundant life was. It's a life not missing pain or sorrow, it's not a life filled with material things. Abundant life is the joy of the Lord and being dependent on Him, its knowing that God's plans always stand, and that with God on your side the enemy can never overtake you. Abundant life is walking with Jesus knowing that no matter what comes your way you can lean on Him and He will carry you through. It's freedom from who you were to walk in this new life with Yeshua, to be free from guilt or shame or sin and this revelation set my soul on fire for God!
These people who have called me a zealot aren't wrong, the flames of this fire have burned and increased over these last 3-4 years since I surrendered to God, and I'm starting see now how God brought me full circle. The Lord took me from rolling my eyes at people I considered zealots, to zealously writing page upon page to His glory. The Lord has taken me from someone who thought these zealots were full of crap, to not only accepting the truth of their testimonies and statements, but proclaiming the Word of God as truth and sharing my own testimony. From the one calling people a zealot to try to deter or hurt them, to hearing it and meeting those words said in anger with a prayer for the person who spoke it. The Lord took me from a zealot hater to a zealot, and I am so grateful to have come back around to kneel before Him. I am grateful He didn't leave me in that place of bitterness but has taught me of the heart of those I despised. May you be blessed today and always, in Yeshua's name.
Psalm 31:19
Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!
Then the day came that I was finally broken enough to set aside my pride and start to really hand my life to God. I stopped just saying God was first and I started to really love God first. I started to make time for reading God's Word everyday, I started praying not just when I needed something but all throughout the day. I made it an everyday priority to spend time getting to know Him and to learn His word. As I did this I started to see how many of verses I was drawn to had to do with not being afraid and handing God my worry, something I had never really been able to do before. But with Jesus's help I learned to cast my worries unto the Lord (Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7) I learned to let go, to pray once or two for an issue then praise in the waiting, and when the worry would return to mind (which it always does) I spoke God's word to the worry. Whether it was a word of confirmation I had received, or another verse from the Bible, speaking God's word to my worry and over my situation gave me the ability to walk in the joy of the Lord, the perfect peace found only in the presence of God, and allowed me not to worry.
As I worried less, I saw more and more His provision, which resulted in me trusting the Lord more. With this I began to see that as we trusted and 'worried not' our blessings and joy in life increased, and this increase in joy revealed to me what abundant life was. It's a life not missing pain or sorrow, it's not a life filled with material things. Abundant life is the joy of the Lord and being dependent on Him, its knowing that God's plans always stand, and that with God on your side the enemy can never overtake you. Abundant life is walking with Jesus knowing that no matter what comes your way you can lean on Him and He will carry you through. It's freedom from who you were to walk in this new life with Yeshua, to be free from guilt or shame or sin and this revelation set my soul on fire for God!
These people who have called me a zealot aren't wrong, the flames of this fire have burned and increased over these last 3-4 years since I surrendered to God, and I'm starting see now how God brought me full circle. The Lord took me from rolling my eyes at people I considered zealots, to zealously writing page upon page to His glory. The Lord has taken me from someone who thought these zealots were full of crap, to not only accepting the truth of their testimonies and statements, but proclaiming the Word of God as truth and sharing my own testimony. From the one calling people a zealot to try to deter or hurt them, to hearing it and meeting those words said in anger with a prayer for the person who spoke it. The Lord took me from a zealot hater to a zealot, and I am so grateful to have come back around to kneel before Him. I am grateful He didn't leave me in that place of bitterness but has taught me of the heart of those I despised. May you be blessed today and always, in Yeshua's name.
Psalm 31:19
Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Idle Hands Are the Devil's Workshop
Growing up if I got bored at my grandmother's house and told her so she would respond to me with 'idle hands are the devil's workshop' then precede to task me with something to keep me busy whether it was helping her fold laundry, making a meal, baking or pulling weeds in the garden. From this I learned not to tell my grandmother I was bored, but I never understood the lesson she was actually trying to teach me until years later.
As a teenager boredom was something I complained about often, though really I had plenty to do, with homework, chores, books to read, games to play, a laptop and crafts galore I could have easily found something to keep me busy. But instead, I would overlook all these things and in my 'boredom' to do things I knew I shouldn't be doing. And it always seemed to be that way, as soon as I said I was bored I could find something to do, but it never was good. Left alone and 'bored' I would start smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, taking pills, and sometimes I tried to hurt myself. When I was bored or idle I'd start fights with my brother, talk to people I knew my parents didn't like me hanging around with, mess with witchcraft and sometimes I'd just sit around listening to all the lies I believed and were being retold in my mind over and over. But I still didn't understand what Grandma had been trying to teach me.
This behavior persisted into my adult years, until one day it kind of hit me out of no where. Someone in a movie I was watching repeated the phrase my grandma had said to me so many times and a flood of memories rushed over me. I saw for the first time why my grandma had been giving me task when I complained of being bored, and it wasn't a punishment because I was complaining. I finally realized it was because she knew that someone, especially a young someone, left without something to occupy their hands or minds was more susceptible to the influences of this world. Her mind and heart were to keep me safe from negative influences by keeping me busy with task that would build my character and teach me skills that I would need later in life.
The light bulb came on and suddenly I saw how it is still true as an adult. Whenever I am bored or just being idle I still struggle with temptation and negative thoughts. It's the moments where I'm idle that I start to hear that voice in my ear saying "it might be fun to get a little drunk and let loose" or "that person who said this or that earlier is awful, you should really lay into them and show them that no one gets away treating you like that" or "you are selfish, he probably hates you" or "you're wasting your time working on that blog, no body cares." But now that I see this and understand this I am able to combat it. When I start to fall into idleness and this pattern of thought emerges urging me to do what I should not or making me feel low I go to God. I start reading my Bible, or I play worship music and busy myself with things that I know are good, and the thoughts leave.
I don't really know if everyone experiences something like this, maybe its just me. But this is what has happened and how I've learned to deal with it. When met with temptation or thoughts contrary God I put James 4:7 in practice 'Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." By doing this I have a two fold blessing, one I no longer succumb to any of the lies that were whispered into my brain, and two it builds on and strengthens my relationship with God. By keeping busy in general, like my grandma tried to teach me, I can keep from giving the enemy a chance to influence me in the first place, especially when I'm busy with something like this. I hoped this blessed someone today, I hope it helped someone. God bless you all in the name od Jesus Christ our risen Lord.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Galatians 5:16
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
James 1:14-15
14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
As a teenager boredom was something I complained about often, though really I had plenty to do, with homework, chores, books to read, games to play, a laptop and crafts galore I could have easily found something to keep me busy. But instead, I would overlook all these things and in my 'boredom' to do things I knew I shouldn't be doing. And it always seemed to be that way, as soon as I said I was bored I could find something to do, but it never was good. Left alone and 'bored' I would start smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, taking pills, and sometimes I tried to hurt myself. When I was bored or idle I'd start fights with my brother, talk to people I knew my parents didn't like me hanging around with, mess with witchcraft and sometimes I'd just sit around listening to all the lies I believed and were being retold in my mind over and over. But I still didn't understand what Grandma had been trying to teach me.
This behavior persisted into my adult years, until one day it kind of hit me out of no where. Someone in a movie I was watching repeated the phrase my grandma had said to me so many times and a flood of memories rushed over me. I saw for the first time why my grandma had been giving me task when I complained of being bored, and it wasn't a punishment because I was complaining. I finally realized it was because she knew that someone, especially a young someone, left without something to occupy their hands or minds was more susceptible to the influences of this world. Her mind and heart were to keep me safe from negative influences by keeping me busy with task that would build my character and teach me skills that I would need later in life.
The light bulb came on and suddenly I saw how it is still true as an adult. Whenever I am bored or just being idle I still struggle with temptation and negative thoughts. It's the moments where I'm idle that I start to hear that voice in my ear saying "it might be fun to get a little drunk and let loose" or "that person who said this or that earlier is awful, you should really lay into them and show them that no one gets away treating you like that" or "you are selfish, he probably hates you" or "you're wasting your time working on that blog, no body cares." But now that I see this and understand this I am able to combat it. When I start to fall into idleness and this pattern of thought emerges urging me to do what I should not or making me feel low I go to God. I start reading my Bible, or I play worship music and busy myself with things that I know are good, and the thoughts leave.
I don't really know if everyone experiences something like this, maybe its just me. But this is what has happened and how I've learned to deal with it. When met with temptation or thoughts contrary God I put James 4:7 in practice 'Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." By doing this I have a two fold blessing, one I no longer succumb to any of the lies that were whispered into my brain, and two it builds on and strengthens my relationship with God. By keeping busy in general, like my grandma tried to teach me, I can keep from giving the enemy a chance to influence me in the first place, especially when I'm busy with something like this. I hoped this blessed someone today, I hope it helped someone. God bless you all in the name od Jesus Christ our risen Lord.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Galatians 5:16
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
James 1:14-15
14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
What the World Couldn't Offer
Someone said something to me yesterday here on google that was supposed to be insulting, but instead it got the wheels turning in my mind and made me more grateful than ever that I turned away from the world and back to Christ. This person who I honestly can't remember what their screen name was, said that I was probably a lot more fun or interesting, something like that, when I was still 'whoring after the ways of the world' which to them I'm sure is true and I know some who would agree with this person. But I know the truth of the situation I was in then and I know who I am now, and honestly I feel better now. I like me now, I no longer feel like I am dying inside, that I am condemned, or empty, or suicidal. I am not afraid like I used to be, instead I have a deep need for Yeshua, a desire to talk to Him in all that I do, to include Him, because in Him alone do I have peace and comfort for my soul, in Him I feel complete.
This person's words were meant to be hurtful and tear me down but instead they encouraged me in my walk. These words reminded me of the person I once I was, how I thought and told myself that I was having fun, that it was okay because I was young, but NONE of it ever made me really feel good inside. All of it stole a little from me at a time, leaving me disgusted and sick of myself, leaving me empty, and hurt. The world shattered me on the inside while on the surface I tried to make it look like I was having fun. I tried to fit in with my friends and seem like I enjoyed life the same way they seemed to be enjoying it, but the world couldn't offer me what I really wanted, what I really needed and what I was really searching for.
I wanted to feel good inside, I wanted to feel whole and safe and loved. I wanted to feel confident, and I wanted to like me. I wanted security, and peace of mind, I wanted joy and hope. I wanted a better future than the one I saw a head of me. I wanted freedom from the person I could no longer stand to look at in the mirror. I wanted to stop having to numb myself to avoid feeling pain, because I was starting to see that I didn't feel anything at all anymore. I was becoming cold, heartless, and cruel, but really I wanted to live life without the guilt, the shame, the rage, the bitterness and the emptiness that was eating away my soul. I wanted freedom from myself, but it wasn't until I surrendered my life to God and started to allow Him to change me that I received any of it.
The world could not offer me what I needed most because that is found in Jesus Christ alone. Only in the Son of God do we have abundant life(John 10:10), do we have freedom from sin(Galatians 5:1&13, 2 Corinthians 3:17, John 8:36), and the ability to overcome the world(John 16:33, 1 John 5:4-5, Revelation 12:11), only in Yeshua do we have the ability to walk through the storms of life with peace and hope. Only in Yeshua can we have access to the Father in heaven(John 14:6) and a new life(Romans 6:4). Only in Jesus have I been made complete(Colossian 2:10), and onto Him will I cling, because I know the world cannot offer what I have found in surrender. God bless you all and thank you for reading.
Ephesians 2:1-8
1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God
This person's words were meant to be hurtful and tear me down but instead they encouraged me in my walk. These words reminded me of the person I once I was, how I thought and told myself that I was having fun, that it was okay because I was young, but NONE of it ever made me really feel good inside. All of it stole a little from me at a time, leaving me disgusted and sick of myself, leaving me empty, and hurt. The world shattered me on the inside while on the surface I tried to make it look like I was having fun. I tried to fit in with my friends and seem like I enjoyed life the same way they seemed to be enjoying it, but the world couldn't offer me what I really wanted, what I really needed and what I was really searching for.
I wanted to feel good inside, I wanted to feel whole and safe and loved. I wanted to feel confident, and I wanted to like me. I wanted security, and peace of mind, I wanted joy and hope. I wanted a better future than the one I saw a head of me. I wanted freedom from the person I could no longer stand to look at in the mirror. I wanted to stop having to numb myself to avoid feeling pain, because I was starting to see that I didn't feel anything at all anymore. I was becoming cold, heartless, and cruel, but really I wanted to live life without the guilt, the shame, the rage, the bitterness and the emptiness that was eating away my soul. I wanted freedom from myself, but it wasn't until I surrendered my life to God and started to allow Him to change me that I received any of it.
The world could not offer me what I needed most because that is found in Jesus Christ alone. Only in the Son of God do we have abundant life(John 10:10), do we have freedom from sin(Galatians 5:1&13, 2 Corinthians 3:17, John 8:36), and the ability to overcome the world(John 16:33, 1 John 5:4-5, Revelation 12:11), only in Yeshua do we have the ability to walk through the storms of life with peace and hope. Only in Yeshua can we have access to the Father in heaven(John 14:6) and a new life(Romans 6:4). Only in Jesus have I been made complete(Colossian 2:10), and onto Him will I cling, because I know the world cannot offer what I have found in surrender. God bless you all and thank you for reading.
Ephesians 2:1-8
1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
The Lord was Quick to Answer
We all go through some pretty tough situations from time to time and recently my husband and I were met with one that had us really scared, but The Lord provided both resolution and comfort for us so I would like to share with you what happened. First a little about our current situation so you can understand fully what we were experiencing. We have just bought a house and are trying to start a family, so our jobs at this point are very important to us. We need our employment to maintain these things, just like most other people. Without both of us working we couldn't afford to pay our bills, and we could potentially lose everything we have worked towards. Like a lot of other lower middle class families each month is a careful balance of finances and expenses to keep things afloat, but thank God for His mercies that see us through!
So when some money went missing from the restaurant where my husband works, and the boss wanted to blame him, we got nervous to say the least. I will be honest here and say that I can't actually blame his employer for thinking it was Nick, because while I know my husband is no thief by any stretch, the missing money did match the amount Nick had to turn in at the end of his shift, and with no other ready explanation I would have questioned Nick too if I was his employer. When the call came like an hour or so after he left work we were sitting on the floor, watching tv together and talking about the day. My husband had just finished telling me that he hadn't had a really good day in tips and set the money from his pocket on the table like he usually does when his phone rang. He wasn't on the phone long before I could tell by his reactions that the call was not good news, something had obviously happened and that worried me. But I was more worried when Nick ended the call and told me what it is was.
He explained that the money he had turned into one of the hostesses before leaving wasn't in the register, and that his boss was threatening to call the police unless he or one of the two hostesses confessed to taking it. He said that his boss had already talked to the girls and they both said they didn't take it, leaving only Nick as a suspect. This was bad news, stressful and uncomfortable, but we weren't really too worried about the police, we knew he was innocent and that they wouldn't find anything, our concern was the threat to his job. We were scared to death that he was going to get fired and as the night went on and there were more calls back and forth between his boss and him; and his boss and his co-workers the more concerned we became. No one knew what happened to the money and no one was confessing to taking it.
Not knowing what else we could possibly except wait and worry, we chose to go to the Lord in prayer, asking for the situation to be worked out, that if this was an attack from the enemy that it would fail, and if it was God's will that he lose this job that He lead us quickly to the next open door. Our hearts were set that no matter what came from the situation we would praise God knowing that even if what was happening didn't make sense to us that it was part of God's plan for us and would eventually be used for good and to glorify God. Then we opened my bible at random and came to passage in the book of Judith (part of the Apocrypha) where Israel was made victorious over their enemy. I knew this was the answer to our prayer and I began thanking God that everything was going to be okay, that Nick would be cleared, and it was going to be worked out. Then I went to bed with a happy grateful heart, I didn't know how things would be worked out or when but I knew God had said we would be victorious and I rested in this knowledge. The next morning I woke up to the resolution, the good news that Nick's boss said everything was ok, to come into work as normal and that no one was getting in trouble, all of which happened about an hour after I went to bed!
So why did I share all this? First, because I believe when God moves in our life like this, quickly answering our prayers both with a word from the Bible and action we should share our testimony of praise with others!! Second, because when I was new to faith I wouldn't have handled things like this, I would have prayed and worried and spent all night worrying and praying without ever really checking in with God. I would have literally worried myself sick over a situation like this, but I have learned since then that the key to letting go of worry is to go to the Word, and I wanted to share that knowledge in a real way. I wanted people to see how in a tough situation God does still answer us, but its important that we are seeking Him in the process. I wanted people to see that God is good and faithful to us just as His Word promises, when we let go and put our trust and faith in Him. Be blessed in Yeshua's name!
Isaiah 65:24
Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear.
Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.
Matthew 6:25-27
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus
So when some money went missing from the restaurant where my husband works, and the boss wanted to blame him, we got nervous to say the least. I will be honest here and say that I can't actually blame his employer for thinking it was Nick, because while I know my husband is no thief by any stretch, the missing money did match the amount Nick had to turn in at the end of his shift, and with no other ready explanation I would have questioned Nick too if I was his employer. When the call came like an hour or so after he left work we were sitting on the floor, watching tv together and talking about the day. My husband had just finished telling me that he hadn't had a really good day in tips and set the money from his pocket on the table like he usually does when his phone rang. He wasn't on the phone long before I could tell by his reactions that the call was not good news, something had obviously happened and that worried me. But I was more worried when Nick ended the call and told me what it is was.
He explained that the money he had turned into one of the hostesses before leaving wasn't in the register, and that his boss was threatening to call the police unless he or one of the two hostesses confessed to taking it. He said that his boss had already talked to the girls and they both said they didn't take it, leaving only Nick as a suspect. This was bad news, stressful and uncomfortable, but we weren't really too worried about the police, we knew he was innocent and that they wouldn't find anything, our concern was the threat to his job. We were scared to death that he was going to get fired and as the night went on and there were more calls back and forth between his boss and him; and his boss and his co-workers the more concerned we became. No one knew what happened to the money and no one was confessing to taking it.
Not knowing what else we could possibly except wait and worry, we chose to go to the Lord in prayer, asking for the situation to be worked out, that if this was an attack from the enemy that it would fail, and if it was God's will that he lose this job that He lead us quickly to the next open door. Our hearts were set that no matter what came from the situation we would praise God knowing that even if what was happening didn't make sense to us that it was part of God's plan for us and would eventually be used for good and to glorify God. Then we opened my bible at random and came to passage in the book of Judith (part of the Apocrypha) where Israel was made victorious over their enemy. I knew this was the answer to our prayer and I began thanking God that everything was going to be okay, that Nick would be cleared, and it was going to be worked out. Then I went to bed with a happy grateful heart, I didn't know how things would be worked out or when but I knew God had said we would be victorious and I rested in this knowledge. The next morning I woke up to the resolution, the good news that Nick's boss said everything was ok, to come into work as normal and that no one was getting in trouble, all of which happened about an hour after I went to bed!
So why did I share all this? First, because I believe when God moves in our life like this, quickly answering our prayers both with a word from the Bible and action we should share our testimony of praise with others!! Second, because when I was new to faith I wouldn't have handled things like this, I would have prayed and worried and spent all night worrying and praying without ever really checking in with God. I would have literally worried myself sick over a situation like this, but I have learned since then that the key to letting go of worry is to go to the Word, and I wanted to share that knowledge in a real way. I wanted people to see how in a tough situation God does still answer us, but its important that we are seeking Him in the process. I wanted people to see that God is good and faithful to us just as His Word promises, when we let go and put our trust and faith in Him. Be blessed in Yeshua's name!
Isaiah 65:24
Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear.
Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.
Matthew 6:25-27
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus
Monday, August 17, 2015
No More In Between
Many would like to walk a line between following Jesus and following the world. They want to have it both ways, they want the 'perks' of being a Christian and having a relationship with God and they want to be able to go out and live as the world does too. They don't want to seem different or like a misfit, they want to blend in, and keep doing the things that everyone else is and keep following what the world says is cool. Many don't see any problem at all with living like this, they believe this is perfectly acceptable, and that God even supports them in living this lifestyle. They believe so long as they claim to be Christian no matter how they live that everything will be okay. I know because I have talked to many people who have said this and I used to be one of them too. But when I took the time to stop looking only to Pastors on tv or at my church and really read the Word for myself I realized walking with Jesus is an all or nothing commitment. I started to see how over and over and over He declares it so in many different ways, different stories, and verses, saying form the start to Israel, 'No other gods before me,'(Exodus 20:3) and that we are to seek Him with all our hearts and soul (Deuteronomy 6:5, Jeremiah 29:13 and more).
These revelations were convicting when I first started to have them settle on my heart. Suddenly I saw clearly how I had been Israel, how I had been worshipping a golden calf believing I was pleasing the Lord who had delivered me but how in reality, it was only my image of God that I was worshipping (Exodus 32). The God of the Bible is a jealous God, (Deuteronomy 4:24, Exodus 34:14) and He wants all of us, not just part of us. He wants our whole heart and soul to be anchored on Him, and He honors those who walk in this manner like David, Joseph, Daniel and the apostles. But I had not been doing that, I believed in God and said I loved Him, but my trust, faith and energy were not devoted to Him or bringing Him honor. I was devoted to my money and obtaining as much as I could, I was devoted to friends and keeping up with that lifestyle, and I was devoted to the pain I kept locked up in my heart, constantly thinking about and worrying about when more would come.
God tells us through His son that we cannot serve two masters and Yeshua breaks it done clearly for us to understand in Matthew 6:24 where He says “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money." And serving other God's I was, the god of money, the god of this world, and the god of pain. These things were what was real to me and what I devoted my time and thoughts too. These things were really my god, but I never saw it until I went in search of the real Living God.
Serving the false idols I had unwittingly created left me empty and wanting more, a more that could not be satisfied by persisting in that life anymore. Each week I was going to church and feeling nothing, each week I was listening to sermons on tv and feeling nothing. All I heard and saw was fluff, and all of left me wondering, where is God? Who is He really? Then I read the Word and started to see who God was and is. I started seeking Him for real, giving Him the time and attention He always deserved. I started to understand that verses like Matthew 16:24-25 were not be taken lightly, and I started to notice the frequency with which God reminds us in the Bible to seek Him with all our hearts and soul. I read and really understood for the first time the words the Lord spoke about being lukewarm to the church of Laodicea in Revelation 3:15-19, and I knew that He was talking to me too. All of this together reinforced in me a truth I had always known but never really accepted, there is no in between with God. There is only the wheat and the tares (Matthew13:24-30), and I was called to be wheat. I may have to grow up in the field with tares but I am not like the tares and I cannot be like them either.
Today I close by asking you, are you walking in between? Are you trying to balance God and the world? Are you really worshipping the golden calf when you think you're serving the Lord? Check your heart right down to the roots, where is your attention really going, what are your true motives? Be Blessed in the name of our risen Lord, Yeshua.
Joshua 23:7-8
7 so that you will not associate with these nations, these which remain among you, or mention the name of their gods, or make anyone swear by them, or serve them, or bow down to them. 8 "But you are to cling to the LORD your God, as you have done to this day
Psalm 105:4
Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!
Amos 5:4
For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel: “Seek me and live
Matthew 16:24-27
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.
Revelation 3:15-19
15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
These revelations were convicting when I first started to have them settle on my heart. Suddenly I saw clearly how I had been Israel, how I had been worshipping a golden calf believing I was pleasing the Lord who had delivered me but how in reality, it was only my image of God that I was worshipping (Exodus 32). The God of the Bible is a jealous God, (Deuteronomy 4:24, Exodus 34:14) and He wants all of us, not just part of us. He wants our whole heart and soul to be anchored on Him, and He honors those who walk in this manner like David, Joseph, Daniel and the apostles. But I had not been doing that, I believed in God and said I loved Him, but my trust, faith and energy were not devoted to Him or bringing Him honor. I was devoted to my money and obtaining as much as I could, I was devoted to friends and keeping up with that lifestyle, and I was devoted to the pain I kept locked up in my heart, constantly thinking about and worrying about when more would come.
God tells us through His son that we cannot serve two masters and Yeshua breaks it done clearly for us to understand in Matthew 6:24 where He says “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money." And serving other God's I was, the god of money, the god of this world, and the god of pain. These things were what was real to me and what I devoted my time and thoughts too. These things were really my god, but I never saw it until I went in search of the real Living God.
Serving the false idols I had unwittingly created left me empty and wanting more, a more that could not be satisfied by persisting in that life anymore. Each week I was going to church and feeling nothing, each week I was listening to sermons on tv and feeling nothing. All I heard and saw was fluff, and all of left me wondering, where is God? Who is He really? Then I read the Word and started to see who God was and is. I started seeking Him for real, giving Him the time and attention He always deserved. I started to understand that verses like Matthew 16:24-25 were not be taken lightly, and I started to notice the frequency with which God reminds us in the Bible to seek Him with all our hearts and soul. I read and really understood for the first time the words the Lord spoke about being lukewarm to the church of Laodicea in Revelation 3:15-19, and I knew that He was talking to me too. All of this together reinforced in me a truth I had always known but never really accepted, there is no in between with God. There is only the wheat and the tares (Matthew13:24-30), and I was called to be wheat. I may have to grow up in the field with tares but I am not like the tares and I cannot be like them either.
Today I close by asking you, are you walking in between? Are you trying to balance God and the world? Are you really worshipping the golden calf when you think you're serving the Lord? Check your heart right down to the roots, where is your attention really going, what are your true motives? Be Blessed in the name of our risen Lord, Yeshua.
Joshua 23:7-8
7 so that you will not associate with these nations, these which remain among you, or mention the name of their gods, or make anyone swear by them, or serve them, or bow down to them. 8 "But you are to cling to the LORD your God, as you have done to this day
Psalm 105:4
Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!
Amos 5:4
For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel: “Seek me and live
Matthew 16:24-27
24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.
Revelation 3:15-19
15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent
Friday, August 14, 2015
Let Your Gentleness be Evident
Some testimonies are not loud, are not even voiced. Some of us are leading others to Christ just by walking in grace, mercy, compassion, humbleness and love. Some of us have people watching us and we don't even know it. The title today speaks of those kinds of testimonies, at least to me it does because it reminds me of a friend, a sister in Christ who walks in gentleness, and it was her gentleness that first caught my attention. It was the meekness of her spirit that made me curious, I wondered at how kind and considerate she was, and was instantly interested in getting to know her, there was something different about this sister, something that stirred a part of me that I thought the world had killed, and drew me to her.
This sister became part of my road back to God, she became a friend who could guide and encourage me with gentle correction and affection in abundance. This friend showed me Jesus by the way she walked and the light of the Lord that shown through in her. I remember the first day I saw her at church, my mindset and attitude were "I'm only here because of my mom," but something about her caught my attention. we didn't speak for weeks but I watched her every Sunday wondering what it was that made her so different.
Eventually I did speak to her when we were both working with the children at VBS, I had fallen asleep in her class, exhausted from taking on more than I could handle. I woke up to her sweet smile and a gentle "Are you okay? It's time to take the kids to the next class." this started our friendship, and we soon found we had much in common. Her friendship would help me through tough times and prayers I never knew she prayed helped me to heal and separate from bad influences.
I shared this today because I think sometimes we feel like we have to be up at the pulpit, or have a blog, or vlog, or some other platform to really be effective for Christ, but honestly sometimes just simply being Jesus to someone in pain is all that is really needed. Simply walking the walk you have been called to can lead someone else back to God. Simply being a friend to someone who feels cast off by the world can make all the difference. I wanted to share this today as evidence of that quote I often hear "Be careful of your walk, you may be the only Bible some people ever read," because it wasn't anything she said or did at first that effected me, it was just who she was, and who she is. From the very first time I saw her I knew something was different about her, I saw Christ in her and I wanted that too, I missed that in my life.
I hope this blessed and inspired someone today that even if they aren't serving in a big way that they can and are still being used by the Lord. I hope this inspires and encourages you to take a look at your walk, can someone see Jesus in you? Is the gentle loving Spirit of God present in you? Be blessed in the name of the Lord, Yeshua.
Isaiah 40:11
He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law
Philippians 4:5
Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.
1 Thessalonians 2:7
But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children
This sister became part of my road back to God, she became a friend who could guide and encourage me with gentle correction and affection in abundance. This friend showed me Jesus by the way she walked and the light of the Lord that shown through in her. I remember the first day I saw her at church, my mindset and attitude were "I'm only here because of my mom," but something about her caught my attention. we didn't speak for weeks but I watched her every Sunday wondering what it was that made her so different.
Eventually I did speak to her when we were both working with the children at VBS, I had fallen asleep in her class, exhausted from taking on more than I could handle. I woke up to her sweet smile and a gentle "Are you okay? It's time to take the kids to the next class." this started our friendship, and we soon found we had much in common. Her friendship would help me through tough times and prayers I never knew she prayed helped me to heal and separate from bad influences.
I shared this today because I think sometimes we feel like we have to be up at the pulpit, or have a blog, or vlog, or some other platform to really be effective for Christ, but honestly sometimes just simply being Jesus to someone in pain is all that is really needed. Simply walking the walk you have been called to can lead someone else back to God. Simply being a friend to someone who feels cast off by the world can make all the difference. I wanted to share this today as evidence of that quote I often hear "Be careful of your walk, you may be the only Bible some people ever read," because it wasn't anything she said or did at first that effected me, it was just who she was, and who she is. From the very first time I saw her I knew something was different about her, I saw Christ in her and I wanted that too, I missed that in my life.
I hope this blessed and inspired someone today that even if they aren't serving in a big way that they can and are still being used by the Lord. I hope this inspires and encourages you to take a look at your walk, can someone see Jesus in you? Is the gentle loving Spirit of God present in you? Be blessed in the name of the Lord, Yeshua.
Isaiah 40:11
He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law
Philippians 4:5
Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.
1 Thessalonians 2:7
But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Changing Is A Process
Learning to trust God and accept Him, learning to heal and overcome my past through Him was not a one prayer and done thing, it did not happen over night. Learning to give up certain things, ideas or attitudes I had picked up from the world was not an easy task and I have often had relapses as I have tried to let go and turn away from my sin, or the sin triggers. I had to learn that when God says He is always with us, that He really is and that I was never alone once in this process. I had to learn that I was not condemned for my failures by the Lord, then learn to trust and believe it. I had to learn a lot to change from who I was to who I am and all that learning took time and experience. All that learning took hours of studying the Word and applying the principles of it to life, it took hours of praying, and listening for His voice to guide me. It's taken years to get past all the brokenness and walk in the freedom that Yeshua paid for on the cross.
I wanted to write about this again today, how there is a process to changing because sometimes I feel like some Christians forget that. That some expect new believers to be perfect or if not perfect at least at the same level they are at, forgetting that it took time for them to get there. But not just for these people but the people who say the prayer of salvation, say they've surrendered their hearts and suddenly expect their lives to be totally different without putting in any work, then get upset and blame others when its not true. I've seen it happen both ways and both are equally disappointing for the same reason, the beauty of the process is being missed.
It wasn't in the moment of surrender to Jesus that I was changed, but it was in that moment that I finally admitted I needed Him in order to change. Just like it wasn't the moment that He met Peter, Andrew, Matthew or John that they were changed, that took spending time with Jesus, and learning about God. They didn't immediately start working miracles, they first had to learn how to operate in the Spirit, they didn't immediately start preaching about Jesus, they first had to learn from being with Him who He was. Learning, accepting, and operating in their individual callings took time, but meeting Jesus told them there was something different and special about Him. They saw something in Jesus that drew them to Him, they saw the Father in Yeshua and they knew they wanted to know Him too.
It's in the process of praying and reading to get more intimate with God that we are truly changed. It's in the accepting of His truths and applying them to our lives that we are changed. It's in the learning to love God first and others second that we are changed. It's in the learning of who God is that we are changed. It's in the seeking that we are changed, and start to see God's nature expressed to us not only in His Word, but in our life. When we learn to identify the ways in which God speaks to his children in the Bible and through it we begin to understand how His presence operates in our day to day life, and the importance of following His ways. This changes you. The prayer of salvation, and surrendering our hearts are only part of the process, because if you don't seek God, you won't find God. Until you put actions to your words that's all they really are.
The day I surrendered and begged God to get me out of my mess, I had to act too. I had to pray and seek Him, and I had to take the necessary steps to change my circumstances. I had to be obedient to Him and take the steps, make the changes and show God I was serious. I cried out and He heard me in my trouble, I looked to Him and showed me the path, but I had to take the steps, I had to keep walking with Him. Since the day I promised to serve Him if He got me out I have continued to seek Him and in the seeking of His truth He has been continually changing me. It may be a whole chapter or passage at just the right time, or maybe one single verse that convicts and corrects me, but God is changing me from the time I spend with Him. The simple truth that I have learned is this, changing is a process of spending time with God, spending time in prayer, and in the Bible. Changing is the process learning to trust God more than ourselves, and accepting His ways over the world's. The prayer of salvation and surrender of our hearts is part of it, they initiate it telling God we are ready, we want Him, it opens the door to the narrow path, but its the decision to seek Him intimately or not that will really change who we are. Be blessed in Yeshua's name.
Deuteronomy 4:29
But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.
Romans 12:1-2
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
2 Corinthians 3:18
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
I wanted to write about this again today, how there is a process to changing because sometimes I feel like some Christians forget that. That some expect new believers to be perfect or if not perfect at least at the same level they are at, forgetting that it took time for them to get there. But not just for these people but the people who say the prayer of salvation, say they've surrendered their hearts and suddenly expect their lives to be totally different without putting in any work, then get upset and blame others when its not true. I've seen it happen both ways and both are equally disappointing for the same reason, the beauty of the process is being missed.
It wasn't in the moment of surrender to Jesus that I was changed, but it was in that moment that I finally admitted I needed Him in order to change. Just like it wasn't the moment that He met Peter, Andrew, Matthew or John that they were changed, that took spending time with Jesus, and learning about God. They didn't immediately start working miracles, they first had to learn how to operate in the Spirit, they didn't immediately start preaching about Jesus, they first had to learn from being with Him who He was. Learning, accepting, and operating in their individual callings took time, but meeting Jesus told them there was something different and special about Him. They saw something in Jesus that drew them to Him, they saw the Father in Yeshua and they knew they wanted to know Him too.
It's in the process of praying and reading to get more intimate with God that we are truly changed. It's in the accepting of His truths and applying them to our lives that we are changed. It's in the learning to love God first and others second that we are changed. It's in the learning of who God is that we are changed. It's in the seeking that we are changed, and start to see God's nature expressed to us not only in His Word, but in our life. When we learn to identify the ways in which God speaks to his children in the Bible and through it we begin to understand how His presence operates in our day to day life, and the importance of following His ways. This changes you. The prayer of salvation, and surrendering our hearts are only part of the process, because if you don't seek God, you won't find God. Until you put actions to your words that's all they really are.
The day I surrendered and begged God to get me out of my mess, I had to act too. I had to pray and seek Him, and I had to take the necessary steps to change my circumstances. I had to be obedient to Him and take the steps, make the changes and show God I was serious. I cried out and He heard me in my trouble, I looked to Him and showed me the path, but I had to take the steps, I had to keep walking with Him. Since the day I promised to serve Him if He got me out I have continued to seek Him and in the seeking of His truth He has been continually changing me. It may be a whole chapter or passage at just the right time, or maybe one single verse that convicts and corrects me, but God is changing me from the time I spend with Him. The simple truth that I have learned is this, changing is a process of spending time with God, spending time in prayer, and in the Bible. Changing is the process learning to trust God more than ourselves, and accepting His ways over the world's. The prayer of salvation and surrender of our hearts is part of it, they initiate it telling God we are ready, we want Him, it opens the door to the narrow path, but its the decision to seek Him intimately or not that will really change who we are. Be blessed in Yeshua's name.
Deuteronomy 4:29
But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.
Romans 12:1-2
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
2 Corinthians 3:18
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Turn Around
In the past I was careless and cruel with other people's emotions because I was defensive and afraid of being hurt again. I was afraid to trust, afraid to feel, afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to even be happy because I was always expecting the rug to be pulled out from underneath me and to once again be looking up at the sky and asking God 'why me?' I was afraid of hope, because I might lose it. I was afraid to believe in forgiveness, because what if I didn't deserve it? I was afraid I was going to hell on the inside and I wished I could escape that fate, but on the outside I walked in the ways of the world and tried to look like I was enjoying it just like everybody else. I believed the lies that rang in my ears telling me I was already condemned, it didn't matter what I did, that the ways of the world were the only choice left, that I had done to much for grace to cover me. I was depressed and anxious all the time, hiding in the darkness where my sins could not be so easily seen, trapped in a cage of despair and loneliness that I had unknowingly built by my choices.
I was weak and hurting from years of struggling with the demons in my mind, I couldn't take anymore, I couldn't fight the darkness anymore on my own, I couldn't control myself. My life was falling apart around me, and I didn't want to hang on anymore, I didn't think I could. Breathing had become a chore, and life a battle that I wasn't sure I could endure as thoughts of suicide persisted in my mind. I knew then I needed to let go and let God handle it, before things got worse, but I didn't know how. Then Jesus stepped in. He heard my repentant cries for relief and forgiveness, for help to overcome, for strength to endure, and my need for Him to guide me, because my way had left me empty and ever since then He has been teaching me, answering this prayer.
Turn around isn't easy, it didn't happen over night. Honestly, I'm still a work in progress, but I'm miles from who I was. Turn around has been a day to day process, a slow changing of my heart and thought patterns. A gradual changing of my lifestyle as things are peeled away and I seek to be nearer Him. It's been a changing of my surroundings and the people in my life. And there's been repentance many times over, and more than one admittance of my weakness as I learn to trust in His strength. It's been humbling, and I pray that I stay humble in this walk because I want to serve Him as He served others. Turn around has taken me from the cage of despair and shadows to freedom and light, from loneliness to knowing I'm never truly alone. In turning around, turning away from the world and the things it praises I have found what I always wanted, peace and rest for my soul, joy, and lasting hope, things not of this world, but Christ alone.
It's never too late to turn around, to make a change, to turn away from the life you live in the pursuit of something more fulfilling. It's never too late to let go of the past and look for something better in the future. It's not too late now to change, to be a better person, to make better choices, and free yourself from the cage in you're in. Jesus is waiting for, just turn around.
Ezekiel 18:21-23
“But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions that he has committed shall be remembered against him; for the righteousness that he has done he shall live. Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord God, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?
Acts 3:19
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Revelation 2:5
Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent
I was weak and hurting from years of struggling with the demons in my mind, I couldn't take anymore, I couldn't fight the darkness anymore on my own, I couldn't control myself. My life was falling apart around me, and I didn't want to hang on anymore, I didn't think I could. Breathing had become a chore, and life a battle that I wasn't sure I could endure as thoughts of suicide persisted in my mind. I knew then I needed to let go and let God handle it, before things got worse, but I didn't know how. Then Jesus stepped in. He heard my repentant cries for relief and forgiveness, for help to overcome, for strength to endure, and my need for Him to guide me, because my way had left me empty and ever since then He has been teaching me, answering this prayer.
Turn around isn't easy, it didn't happen over night. Honestly, I'm still a work in progress, but I'm miles from who I was. Turn around has been a day to day process, a slow changing of my heart and thought patterns. A gradual changing of my lifestyle as things are peeled away and I seek to be nearer Him. It's been a changing of my surroundings and the people in my life. And there's been repentance many times over, and more than one admittance of my weakness as I learn to trust in His strength. It's been humbling, and I pray that I stay humble in this walk because I want to serve Him as He served others. Turn around has taken me from the cage of despair and shadows to freedom and light, from loneliness to knowing I'm never truly alone. In turning around, turning away from the world and the things it praises I have found what I always wanted, peace and rest for my soul, joy, and lasting hope, things not of this world, but Christ alone.
It's never too late to turn around, to make a change, to turn away from the life you live in the pursuit of something more fulfilling. It's never too late to let go of the past and look for something better in the future. It's not too late now to change, to be a better person, to make better choices, and free yourself from the cage in you're in. Jesus is waiting for, just turn around.
Ezekiel 18:21-23
“But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions that he has committed shall be remembered against him; for the righteousness that he has done he shall live. Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord God, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?
Acts 3:19
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Revelation 2:5
Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent
Monday, August 10, 2015
We Need More Encouragers
There are many gifts of the spirit, some more commonly known than others (Romans 12:3-8; 1 Corinthians 12:1-11). Some are the big miracle like gifts that most of us think of when people talk about spiritual gifts, like the prophesying, speaking in tongues, casting out of demons, and healing. But there are also some more simple gifts that you many not recognize as a spiritual gift and can be easily taken for granted, like the gifts of encouragement, or helps, the gifts of knowledge, discernment and wisdom. These gifts are important too and still serve a purpose in the body of Christ. But it's encouragement (Romans 12:8) in particular that I am thinking about today because I have discovered over these last two years that this is where my gifting seems to be. This, like all spiritual gifts, is all to God's glory.
I think we can all agree that everyone needs hope sometimes, everyone needs a little encouragement at times, something that helps us to keep pressing. This is especially true for those who have been left broken by the world, the people who have been deeply hurt and aren't sure if they can get up again. These are the people that need to know its okay to love and trust again the most. The broken and hurting need to know that they're not alone, that they never really were. These are the people that need to know someone cares and wants to see them happy again. These are the people that need to know that there are still helping hands in the world, that healing can happen, and that God has always cared for them. This is where the encouragers are needed and why this calling is important. Encouragers are used to keep the body strong and focused; but also to help lift and heal the broken.
I remember what it felt like to be broken, to not have hope, and also not to understand the hope found in our Lord Jesus. I know that dark lonely place where pain is our only familiar friend and it's because of this past that I now desire to share the hope I have found. I want to encourage others, I want to lift people up and show them how to get out. This is all why almost every post I have written for the better part of the last 2 years has been posted with the intent of helping the broken to heal in Yeshua. To encourage people to seek God and strengthen those who do. To show the broken and hurting that they aren't alone, that others understand their pain and that with the Lord it can be healed. That they are not who they were, that they do not have to be stuck in condemnation or pain, because Jesus can heal us and restore us, in Him we can be forgiven and made new. For those who do believe in Jesus my hope has been to show them that they aren't alone either, that by pushing through and continuing to seek God in the hard seasons that breakthrough can be achieved!
Not having a lot of encouragement before taught me that everyone needs encouragement sometimes. That the body needs more encouragers who will speak up and do what they were called to do, lift others in their weariness. People need to hear of the hope of a life in Jesus Christ, especially in the days to come as the world continually spins into more and more chaos. We need to express love in word and deed. Yes, some people are more skilled at encouraging than others, but you can still love others. You can still give an encouraging word, or a hug when it's needed. It doesn't have to be your gifting for you to operate in it with Christ in you, because it all comes from Him, all spiritual gifts come from the same Holy Spirit (1 Corinthian 12:4). So what was my point if you didn't get it? That encouragement, though a less often recognized gift, is still important. That encouragement serves a valuable service in the church body, and that we need more people to exercise this gifting, because we all need encouragement sometimes.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Hebrews 10:23-25
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near
.
I think we can all agree that everyone needs hope sometimes, everyone needs a little encouragement at times, something that helps us to keep pressing. This is especially true for those who have been left broken by the world, the people who have been deeply hurt and aren't sure if they can get up again. These are the people that need to know its okay to love and trust again the most. The broken and hurting need to know that they're not alone, that they never really were. These are the people that need to know someone cares and wants to see them happy again. These are the people that need to know that there are still helping hands in the world, that healing can happen, and that God has always cared for them. This is where the encouragers are needed and why this calling is important. Encouragers are used to keep the body strong and focused; but also to help lift and heal the broken.
I remember what it felt like to be broken, to not have hope, and also not to understand the hope found in our Lord Jesus. I know that dark lonely place where pain is our only familiar friend and it's because of this past that I now desire to share the hope I have found. I want to encourage others, I want to lift people up and show them how to get out. This is all why almost every post I have written for the better part of the last 2 years has been posted with the intent of helping the broken to heal in Yeshua. To encourage people to seek God and strengthen those who do. To show the broken and hurting that they aren't alone, that others understand their pain and that with the Lord it can be healed. That they are not who they were, that they do not have to be stuck in condemnation or pain, because Jesus can heal us and restore us, in Him we can be forgiven and made new. For those who do believe in Jesus my hope has been to show them that they aren't alone either, that by pushing through and continuing to seek God in the hard seasons that breakthrough can be achieved!
Not having a lot of encouragement before taught me that everyone needs encouragement sometimes. That the body needs more encouragers who will speak up and do what they were called to do, lift others in their weariness. People need to hear of the hope of a life in Jesus Christ, especially in the days to come as the world continually spins into more and more chaos. We need to express love in word and deed. Yes, some people are more skilled at encouraging than others, but you can still love others. You can still give an encouraging word, or a hug when it's needed. It doesn't have to be your gifting for you to operate in it with Christ in you, because it all comes from Him, all spiritual gifts come from the same Holy Spirit (1 Corinthian 12:4). So what was my point if you didn't get it? That encouragement, though a less often recognized gift, is still important. That encouragement serves a valuable service in the church body, and that we need more people to exercise this gifting, because we all need encouragement sometimes.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Hebrews 10:23-25
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near
.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
A Testimony of Praise
The day my Grandfather died almost four years ago God gave me a testimony that I haven't shared. He worked a miracle that day to make sure I got to say good-bye to my grandfather, but I seldom talk about it because of the grief that always comes with this memory. Today I finally feel strong enough to talk about what God did that day and give Him the glory He always deserved.
The day my Grandfather was to die my husband and I were already planning on going to look at a new used car for us. I had wrecked mine sometime before and my brother had been letting me borrow his but that was no longer going to be an option. Our plans got interrupted though when my mom texted and told me that my grandfather had been taken by ambulance from the nursing home to a hospital. She told me he was ill and had been having trouble breathing, they believed it was just a respiratory infection and wanted to get him looked at. Instantly in my heart I felt like I needed to go see him.
My mom didn't seem to think it was necessary but said if I wanted I could go and that she would be going up too as soon as she could get out of work. My husband and I then started to discuss what to do, because despite my mom's reassurance that pappy was going to be okay, I knew I had to see him. After sometime we finally decided to go look at the car, then make a trip to the hospital if we still had time, my husband promised, if not that day than the next, after all my mom said he was going to be okay. On our way to go see the car though, the car we were driving started to smoke and stalled out on the side of the road. We both got upset and frustrated. I prayed, and he looked under the hood for the problem. This was the last thing we needed or wanted. Replacing two cars was not something we could afford to do and after hearing that my grandfather was in the hospital, I was upset enough.
Nick couldn't find what was wrong and soon returned to the drivers seat and tried to start the engine again. It worked and we decided to drive home instead of going out to see the car. The car gave us absolutely no trouble on the drive home. When we got home we let the car cool and Nick planned on giving it another good check over to see if he could figure out why the car had acted so strange. While he was looking the car over my mom called me with more news. Pappy's condition was bad. Scans showed that not only did he have this respiratory infection but there was internal bleeding from a recent fall and it appeared that he had had a fourth stroke. It was like a punch to the chest, I couldn't breath or think for a minute. I walked out of the house and asked Nick how the car was. He said it seemed fine, and I told him good because we need to go see my grandfather.
Nick tried to argue for only a moment, he was afraid the car wouldn't make it, that it would smoke and stall again. I told him it wouldn't, I said I needed to see my grandfather and I knew we would make it. I told Him I was certain that God had stalled the car so we could go to him, I told him I had to go it was important. So he took me and the car gave us no more trouble beyond basic maintenance for close to a year. I got to go in with my grandfather and give him one last kiss, one last hug, and tell him good-bye. I got to hold his hand and see his eyes light up when he saw me the way they always did. And got the news before I left that they thought he would recover with some treatment. I was relieved and we went home happy. But later that night my dad knocked on our door and told me he was gone.
Had God not stepped in that day placing an urgency in my heart and stalled out our car I could have missed out on my opportunity to say goodbye, to share in the final moments of life with a man who been like a hero to me as a child. So with my whole heart today I say praise the Lord! Praise the Lord for His miracles and mercy! Praise Him for He is good! Be blessed.
Psalm 150
The day my Grandfather was to die my husband and I were already planning on going to look at a new used car for us. I had wrecked mine sometime before and my brother had been letting me borrow his but that was no longer going to be an option. Our plans got interrupted though when my mom texted and told me that my grandfather had been taken by ambulance from the nursing home to a hospital. She told me he was ill and had been having trouble breathing, they believed it was just a respiratory infection and wanted to get him looked at. Instantly in my heart I felt like I needed to go see him.
My mom didn't seem to think it was necessary but said if I wanted I could go and that she would be going up too as soon as she could get out of work. My husband and I then started to discuss what to do, because despite my mom's reassurance that pappy was going to be okay, I knew I had to see him. After sometime we finally decided to go look at the car, then make a trip to the hospital if we still had time, my husband promised, if not that day than the next, after all my mom said he was going to be okay. On our way to go see the car though, the car we were driving started to smoke and stalled out on the side of the road. We both got upset and frustrated. I prayed, and he looked under the hood for the problem. This was the last thing we needed or wanted. Replacing two cars was not something we could afford to do and after hearing that my grandfather was in the hospital, I was upset enough.
Nick couldn't find what was wrong and soon returned to the drivers seat and tried to start the engine again. It worked and we decided to drive home instead of going out to see the car. The car gave us absolutely no trouble on the drive home. When we got home we let the car cool and Nick planned on giving it another good check over to see if he could figure out why the car had acted so strange. While he was looking the car over my mom called me with more news. Pappy's condition was bad. Scans showed that not only did he have this respiratory infection but there was internal bleeding from a recent fall and it appeared that he had had a fourth stroke. It was like a punch to the chest, I couldn't breath or think for a minute. I walked out of the house and asked Nick how the car was. He said it seemed fine, and I told him good because we need to go see my grandfather.
Nick tried to argue for only a moment, he was afraid the car wouldn't make it, that it would smoke and stall again. I told him it wouldn't, I said I needed to see my grandfather and I knew we would make it. I told Him I was certain that God had stalled the car so we could go to him, I told him I had to go it was important. So he took me and the car gave us no more trouble beyond basic maintenance for close to a year. I got to go in with my grandfather and give him one last kiss, one last hug, and tell him good-bye. I got to hold his hand and see his eyes light up when he saw me the way they always did. And got the news before I left that they thought he would recover with some treatment. I was relieved and we went home happy. But later that night my dad knocked on our door and told me he was gone.
Had God not stepped in that day placing an urgency in my heart and stalled out our car I could have missed out on my opportunity to say goodbye, to share in the final moments of life with a man who been like a hero to me as a child. So with my whole heart today I say praise the Lord! Praise the Lord for His miracles and mercy! Praise Him for He is good! Be blessed.
Psalm 150
1 Praise the Lord.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.
2 Praise him for his acts of power;
praise him for his surpassing greatness.
3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and lyre,
4 praise him with timbrel and dancing,
praise him with the strings and pipe,
5 praise him with the clash of cymbals,
praise him with resounding cymbals.
6 Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Wrong is Wrong
Not long a ago I had a conversation with someone that got me a bit worked up. This person shared with me some 'good' advice that they had received from some self-help/advice book they were reading, and I couldn't withhold my outrage when they told me the advice that this person had published to help marriages. This advice had been given to a person who had a one-time affair, a moment of weakness and they were feeling guilty about it. They wrote to this self-help writer seeking to know if it was the right thing to do tell their spouse and maybe seek counseling to work things out or what else they should do. The writer of the book responded that they should lie, to hide the affair and never bring it up again. The writer said it would be more wrong to hurt the other person with the truth than to comfort with a lie. The writer expressed that since the person had confessed their transgression to her that they should now let it go and never speak of it again, and all I could say was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!
This strong response from me shocked and upset the person who had been sharing this story with me, she had been very happy about this advice she had read and couldn't understand why I was so against it. Here's the simplest way I can explain it, the reason this self-help writer is wrong is because any advice that is contrary to God's law is wrong. Period. God says not to lie, (Exodus 20:16) and there is no justification, none whatsoever, that can make lying right. Lying is not a loving act, it's a selfish one at it's root, even when you try to justify it by saying you are doing it to spare someone's feelings, the truth is that you are just avoiding a difficult situation and trying to spare your own. The truth is you cannot make wrong right based on circumstances, wrong is wrong, sin is sin, regardless of what the rest of the world may say. Our God is unchanging (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8) and His opinions of right and wrong do not change based on what is popular or easy in our culture. Lying to protect yourself from your actions does not change what you did and only adds more deceit to it, which when the truth comes out, and it will, will only serve to further damage what you told yourself you protecting.
From experience, lying never brings about a happy ending, only one that leads to pain and a lose of trust that is more devastating than the initial betrayal. Lying brings about years of fear and anxiety of being discovered, moments of regret that make you feel like less as you continue to lie to protect the first one. However, in honesty there is a chance for forgiveness. If this person had gone with their own conscience and confessed their affair, yes there would be the chance that they would not be forgiven by their spouse but there was also the chance that they could have been. Had they been honest they could have had the opportunity to work together with their spouse, to fix the problems that they had, and bring them closer together instead of dividing them further apart by having to add lie after to cover the first.
Lying is a vicious cycle, a trap that we justify as necessary in the moment, believing it to be for the greater good. In truth though, it is a choice we make from selfishness or a desire to take what appears to be the easy road. It's a choice that leads us down a path of more bad choices, unless at some point we stop it and choose to face up to our actions. In lying there can be no healing because it is contrary to God, healing can only come through the things of God, and in this case it would be honesty and truth. Truth is not always easy but it is always right, and when we walk in right actions before God He is faithful to bless us, even if that blessing looks different than we expect. Be Blessed.
Proverbs 10:9
Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.
Proverbs 12:22
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Proverbs 28:13
Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy
Luke 16:10-12
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful in that which is another's, who will give you that which is your own?
1 Peter 3:10-12
For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
This strong response from me shocked and upset the person who had been sharing this story with me, she had been very happy about this advice she had read and couldn't understand why I was so against it. Here's the simplest way I can explain it, the reason this self-help writer is wrong is because any advice that is contrary to God's law is wrong. Period. God says not to lie, (Exodus 20:16) and there is no justification, none whatsoever, that can make lying right. Lying is not a loving act, it's a selfish one at it's root, even when you try to justify it by saying you are doing it to spare someone's feelings, the truth is that you are just avoiding a difficult situation and trying to spare your own. The truth is you cannot make wrong right based on circumstances, wrong is wrong, sin is sin, regardless of what the rest of the world may say. Our God is unchanging (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8) and His opinions of right and wrong do not change based on what is popular or easy in our culture. Lying to protect yourself from your actions does not change what you did and only adds more deceit to it, which when the truth comes out, and it will, will only serve to further damage what you told yourself you protecting.
From experience, lying never brings about a happy ending, only one that leads to pain and a lose of trust that is more devastating than the initial betrayal. Lying brings about years of fear and anxiety of being discovered, moments of regret that make you feel like less as you continue to lie to protect the first one. However, in honesty there is a chance for forgiveness. If this person had gone with their own conscience and confessed their affair, yes there would be the chance that they would not be forgiven by their spouse but there was also the chance that they could have been. Had they been honest they could have had the opportunity to work together with their spouse, to fix the problems that they had, and bring them closer together instead of dividing them further apart by having to add lie after to cover the first.
Lying is a vicious cycle, a trap that we justify as necessary in the moment, believing it to be for the greater good. In truth though, it is a choice we make from selfishness or a desire to take what appears to be the easy road. It's a choice that leads us down a path of more bad choices, unless at some point we stop it and choose to face up to our actions. In lying there can be no healing because it is contrary to God, healing can only come through the things of God, and in this case it would be honesty and truth. Truth is not always easy but it is always right, and when we walk in right actions before God He is faithful to bless us, even if that blessing looks different than we expect. Be Blessed.
Proverbs 10:9
Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.
Proverbs 12:22
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Proverbs 28:13
Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy
Luke 16:10-12
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful in that which is another's, who will give you that which is your own?
1 Peter 3:10-12
For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Sometimes We Have to Act
Yesterday I shared the testimony of how God healed me twice from anxiety, once instantly, which did not last because I didn't draw nearer to Him, and the second time by showing me the power and influence of His word over my life. I did this for a couple reasons, one to show that God can heal immediately, but will often have us walk through a process for our healing so that we are equipped to stand against the enemy, and two to give hope to those who feel like their prayers aren't being answered because they are still struggling with anxiety, for those who want to give up because the answer wasn't immediate or clear. For those who don't understand why they aren't being healed, despite praying.
In today's world of instant gratification, God's way of bringing us thru a problem sometimes seems unfair to people. I have had people tell me that, that if God can heal why are they still suffering, that they have prayed, claimed, and received with no results. They don't realize that sometimes it's in the learning of God and being obedient to Him that we are healed. It's in learning to rest in Him that we find what we are seeking. This is what I wanted people to see in my testimony yesterday, that it was in the seeking of Him, and trusting in Him that I was really healed. But also that it took time for this to happen, there was a process of learning that I could trust God and that His word was true.
Thinking about what I am telling you here I was reminded of the man born blind that Jesus healed in John 9. Jesus could have very simply touched and healed this man, but instead he made mud with his spit and placed the mixture on the man's eyes, then told him to wash it off in the pool of Siloam. When the man did what the Lord said in obedience, he was healed, and later testified to Jesus's miracle. It wasn't that Jesus couldn't have healed the blind man there, we know He could have. Doing as Jesus said though was an act of faith and obedience, it was an act of trusting God and once he showed that trust by his obedience he was healed. The blind man had what he needed to get well then, but if he hadn't obeyed, trusted, and believed he could have sat there all day with mud on his eyes and never seen, or could have washed his face somewhere else, and lost his miracle. This is what happens to a lot of us, we pray and pray for healing, but we don't follow through with what we need to do to be healed, we don't seek Him and form a relationship, instead we sit there with mud on our eyes wondering when God will step in so we can see.
The last couple days I have felt it's really important for people to hear this, that there are many who need to know that it isn't that God doesn't care or doesn't want you healed, it's that He wants you to seek Him intimately, to apply His word to your life in obedience and in doing so you will be healed. Not only will you be healed though, but strengthened to stand against it in the future, because you have leaned on God and let Him teach you to overcome. You have let Him teach you how to use the sword of truth (His word) to battle lies, to tame the flesh, and have built on a solid foundation so that you won't be blown away in the storms. I hope this blesses someone today, that it touches them to seek the Lord in His word and build the relationship that is open to them. Be Blessed brothers and sisters.
Deuteronomy 6:18
And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that it may go well with you, and that you may go in and take possession of the good land that the Lord swore to give to your fathers
Psalm 103:2-4
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
Proverbs 4:20-22
My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.
Isaiah 1:19
If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
In today's world of instant gratification, God's way of bringing us thru a problem sometimes seems unfair to people. I have had people tell me that, that if God can heal why are they still suffering, that they have prayed, claimed, and received with no results. They don't realize that sometimes it's in the learning of God and being obedient to Him that we are healed. It's in learning to rest in Him that we find what we are seeking. This is what I wanted people to see in my testimony yesterday, that it was in the seeking of Him, and trusting in Him that I was really healed. But also that it took time for this to happen, there was a process of learning that I could trust God and that His word was true.
Thinking about what I am telling you here I was reminded of the man born blind that Jesus healed in John 9. Jesus could have very simply touched and healed this man, but instead he made mud with his spit and placed the mixture on the man's eyes, then told him to wash it off in the pool of Siloam. When the man did what the Lord said in obedience, he was healed, and later testified to Jesus's miracle. It wasn't that Jesus couldn't have healed the blind man there, we know He could have. Doing as Jesus said though was an act of faith and obedience, it was an act of trusting God and once he showed that trust by his obedience he was healed. The blind man had what he needed to get well then, but if he hadn't obeyed, trusted, and believed he could have sat there all day with mud on his eyes and never seen, or could have washed his face somewhere else, and lost his miracle. This is what happens to a lot of us, we pray and pray for healing, but we don't follow through with what we need to do to be healed, we don't seek Him and form a relationship, instead we sit there with mud on our eyes wondering when God will step in so we can see.
The last couple days I have felt it's really important for people to hear this, that there are many who need to know that it isn't that God doesn't care or doesn't want you healed, it's that He wants you to seek Him intimately, to apply His word to your life in obedience and in doing so you will be healed. Not only will you be healed though, but strengthened to stand against it in the future, because you have leaned on God and let Him teach you to overcome. You have let Him teach you how to use the sword of truth (His word) to battle lies, to tame the flesh, and have built on a solid foundation so that you won't be blown away in the storms. I hope this blesses someone today, that it touches them to seek the Lord in His word and build the relationship that is open to them. Be Blessed brothers and sisters.
Deuteronomy 6:18
And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that it may go well with you, and that you may go in and take possession of the good land that the Lord swore to give to your fathers
Psalm 103:2-4
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
Proverbs 4:20-22
My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.
Isaiah 1:19
If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Testimony of Overcoming Anxiety
I have a sort of strange testimony about anxiety to share today, it's something that God did in my life that has taught me to appreciate the process He takes us through. Something that taught me that being patient and seeking Him is necessary. Something that taught me He can heal us in a moment, but that sometimes He takes us through the process for a reason. Through the testimony I am about to share I learned why the process is so important, why instant healing from things isn't always a good thing. I believe God gave me this testimony to share to help others in the same position I was in to understand that God isn't trying to hurt you, He isn't ignoring your prayers for relief, He wants you to have healing, but He also wants you to not get stuck in the same trap again.
In November it was four years since I had been baptized, and shortly after this God worked a miracle in my life. In the middle of the night one night I had a terrifying revelation of all the ways satan had been manipulating me, the scales fell away from my eyes and I suddenly saw with startling clarity. I had the worst panic attack of my life that night, I felt like I was dying and I called out to God for relief from it. My husband then woke up hearing my suffering and came to comfort me, he held me and listened as I told him what the Lord had shown me, as I confessed through tears the influence the enemy once held on me, how I had memories stolen from me that proved that God had been reaching out, when satan told me he wasn't. Then I felt I the Holy Spirit wash over me and I knew I was free from it. In that moment I was freed from anxiety, and I praised the Lord for it.
My freedom from anxiety didn't last though. Without going through the process of learning how to overcome it in Yeshua I was ill equipped to fight off the enemy when he returned and tried to influence me again. After six or seven months the anxiety was back, right where it had been, and then it began to escalate as the situations in my personnel life became strained. Soon the anxiety was full blown and worse than ever, accompanied by suicidal depression. Not knowing or understanding how to battle against this, I soon again became overwhelmed as I struggled in my flesh not to give in and tried using secular coping mechanisms. Let me just say, I am not putting these methods down, many, like self talk, are very good, but if you aren't using them in the spirit and with God they aren't really effective. For example, going with self talk, I could tell myself during a panic attack that I was safe a hundred times, but this had little to no effect, but when I started declaring the word or just calling "Jesus, Jesus!" as my 'self talk' this was extremely successful, why? James 4:7 says this, " Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." Psalms 50:15, says this "and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me." When I switched my self talk to become God centered, when I started asking Him to handle that battle, I found relief because I was trusting in His abilities and not my own.
It took time for me to realize why this worked or that it even had to be honest, I at first took this all for granted, especially because it was only the momentary anxiety that would leave. I still struggled with racing thoughts from the moment I opened my eyes until I closed them. Falling asleep was difficult, staying a sleep harder, and waking up in the morning was a chore I wanted to skip. But it was about at this point that I heard a sermon by someone talking about these same issues in their life and how prayer at night and in the morning changed this, so I started doing that and started reading my bible every night before bed in addition to randomly reading through the day whenever the mood struck me. When I started to talk to the Lord in prayer as I feel asleep at night, falling asleep became easier, after a time my mind stopped racing and I now can fall asleep without any trouble. The same happened in the morning, where I used to wake up with racing thoughts and feelings of dread I now start praying as soon as my alarm goes off, and will often have praise and worship music filling my heart and head as a background to the prayers. I soon after realized or was given the revelation that the more I sought the Lord and stayed close to Him the less the devil could influence me.
This realization suddenly ignited my desire for God in a new way because to me it was the truth of His word and those verses I shared earlier coming alive in my life. When this happened the Bible became more than just words to me, they became alive and active as I realized they were true and in them was life. When I realized the Bible really was true, really was alive and effective and not just words on a page, but the very heart of God reaching out to us I sought God and stayed close to Him. Then I started to hand God other areas of my life too, I began trusting Him more and I continue to trust Him increasingly all the time as I see more and more the truth of His word in my life and other's. God healed me from anxiety in a moment but that moment didn't bring me to the end of myself, it didn't cause me to seek or lean on Him. While I was grateful and gave God the glory for it, I didn't show my gratitude by perusing Him and trying to deepen my relationship at that time. Instead I stayed pretty much lukewarm reading my bible only as a more frequent pass-time, until again I was overwhelmed by the influence of the enemy I had permitted into my life. By keeping God and His word at a distance I had no way to fight the enemy, I had no foundation for my faith. But as God took me through the battle, walking with me and teaching me to lean more and more on Him I saw the enemy flee, to the point where I now can stand in bad situations and say, as Paul did in Philippians 4:11, that I can be content in all circumstances. Even in my storms I have learned to look for and lean on Yeshua, learning to trust Him because He never fails and His word is true. This has given me peace, and hope to endure, this gives me strength, and has taught me that when we are dependent on the Lord we are truly strong and free. Be blessed in the name of our risen Lord, Yeshua, amen.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Psalm 34:4
I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears
Psalm 37:39
The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.
Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you
Psalm 91:14-15
“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him
In November it was four years since I had been baptized, and shortly after this God worked a miracle in my life. In the middle of the night one night I had a terrifying revelation of all the ways satan had been manipulating me, the scales fell away from my eyes and I suddenly saw with startling clarity. I had the worst panic attack of my life that night, I felt like I was dying and I called out to God for relief from it. My husband then woke up hearing my suffering and came to comfort me, he held me and listened as I told him what the Lord had shown me, as I confessed through tears the influence the enemy once held on me, how I had memories stolen from me that proved that God had been reaching out, when satan told me he wasn't. Then I felt I the Holy Spirit wash over me and I knew I was free from it. In that moment I was freed from anxiety, and I praised the Lord for it.
My freedom from anxiety didn't last though. Without going through the process of learning how to overcome it in Yeshua I was ill equipped to fight off the enemy when he returned and tried to influence me again. After six or seven months the anxiety was back, right where it had been, and then it began to escalate as the situations in my personnel life became strained. Soon the anxiety was full blown and worse than ever, accompanied by suicidal depression. Not knowing or understanding how to battle against this, I soon again became overwhelmed as I struggled in my flesh not to give in and tried using secular coping mechanisms. Let me just say, I am not putting these methods down, many, like self talk, are very good, but if you aren't using them in the spirit and with God they aren't really effective. For example, going with self talk, I could tell myself during a panic attack that I was safe a hundred times, but this had little to no effect, but when I started declaring the word or just calling "Jesus, Jesus!" as my 'self talk' this was extremely successful, why? James 4:7 says this, " Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." Psalms 50:15, says this "and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me." When I switched my self talk to become God centered, when I started asking Him to handle that battle, I found relief because I was trusting in His abilities and not my own.
It took time for me to realize why this worked or that it even had to be honest, I at first took this all for granted, especially because it was only the momentary anxiety that would leave. I still struggled with racing thoughts from the moment I opened my eyes until I closed them. Falling asleep was difficult, staying a sleep harder, and waking up in the morning was a chore I wanted to skip. But it was about at this point that I heard a sermon by someone talking about these same issues in their life and how prayer at night and in the morning changed this, so I started doing that and started reading my bible every night before bed in addition to randomly reading through the day whenever the mood struck me. When I started to talk to the Lord in prayer as I feel asleep at night, falling asleep became easier, after a time my mind stopped racing and I now can fall asleep without any trouble. The same happened in the morning, where I used to wake up with racing thoughts and feelings of dread I now start praying as soon as my alarm goes off, and will often have praise and worship music filling my heart and head as a background to the prayers. I soon after realized or was given the revelation that the more I sought the Lord and stayed close to Him the less the devil could influence me.
This realization suddenly ignited my desire for God in a new way because to me it was the truth of His word and those verses I shared earlier coming alive in my life. When this happened the Bible became more than just words to me, they became alive and active as I realized they were true and in them was life. When I realized the Bible really was true, really was alive and effective and not just words on a page, but the very heart of God reaching out to us I sought God and stayed close to Him. Then I started to hand God other areas of my life too, I began trusting Him more and I continue to trust Him increasingly all the time as I see more and more the truth of His word in my life and other's. God healed me from anxiety in a moment but that moment didn't bring me to the end of myself, it didn't cause me to seek or lean on Him. While I was grateful and gave God the glory for it, I didn't show my gratitude by perusing Him and trying to deepen my relationship at that time. Instead I stayed pretty much lukewarm reading my bible only as a more frequent pass-time, until again I was overwhelmed by the influence of the enemy I had permitted into my life. By keeping God and His word at a distance I had no way to fight the enemy, I had no foundation for my faith. But as God took me through the battle, walking with me and teaching me to lean more and more on Him I saw the enemy flee, to the point where I now can stand in bad situations and say, as Paul did in Philippians 4:11, that I can be content in all circumstances. Even in my storms I have learned to look for and lean on Yeshua, learning to trust Him because He never fails and His word is true. This has given me peace, and hope to endure, this gives me strength, and has taught me that when we are dependent on the Lord we are truly strong and free. Be blessed in the name of our risen Lord, Yeshua, amen.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Psalm 34:4
I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears
Psalm 37:39
The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.
Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you
Psalm 91:14-15
“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him
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