Wrong is Wrong

       Not long a ago I had a conversation with someone that got me a bit worked up. This person shared with me some 'good' advice that they had received from some self-help/advice book they were reading, and I couldn't withhold my outrage when they told me the advice that this person had published to help marriages. This advice had been given to a person who had a one-time affair, a moment of weakness and they were feeling guilty about it. They wrote to this self-help writer seeking to know if it was the right thing to do tell their spouse and maybe seek counseling to work things out or what else they should do. The writer of the book responded that they should lie, to hide the affair and never bring it up again. The writer said it would be more wrong to hurt the other person with the truth than to comfort with a lie. The writer expressed that since the person had confessed  their transgression to her that they should now let it go and never speak of it again, and all I could say was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!
       This strong response from me shocked and upset the person who had been sharing this story with me, she had been very happy about this advice she had read and couldn't understand why I was so against it. Here's the simplest way I can explain it, the reason this self-help writer is wrong is because any advice that is contrary to God's law is wrong. Period. God says not to lie, (Exodus 20:16) and there is no justification, none whatsoever, that can make lying right. Lying is not a loving act, it's a selfish one at it's root, even when you try to justify it by saying you are doing it to spare someone's feelings, the truth is that you are just avoiding a difficult situation and trying to spare your own. The truth is you cannot make wrong right based on circumstances, wrong is wrong, sin is sin, regardless of what the rest of the world may say. Our God is unchanging (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8) and His opinions of right and wrong do not change based on what is popular or easy in our culture. Lying to protect yourself from your actions does not change what you did and only adds more deceit to it, which when the truth comes out, and it will, will only serve to further damage what you told yourself you protecting.  
      From experience, lying never brings about a happy ending, only one that leads to pain and a lose of trust that is more devastating than the initial betrayal. Lying brings about years of fear and anxiety of being discovered, moments of regret that make you feel like less as you continue to lie to protect the first one. However, in honesty there is a chance for forgiveness. If this person had gone with their own conscience and confessed their affair, yes there would be the chance that they would not be forgiven by their spouse but there was also the chance that they could have been. Had they been honest they could have had the opportunity to work together with their spouse, to fix the problems that they had, and bring them closer together instead of dividing them further apart by having to add lie after to cover the first.
       Lying is a vicious cycle, a trap that we justify as necessary in the moment, believing it to be for the greater good. In truth though, it is a choice we make from selfishness or a desire to take what appears to be the easy road. It's a choice that leads us down a path of more bad choices, unless at some point we stop it and choose to face up to our actions. In lying there can be no healing because it is contrary to God, healing can only come through the things of God, and in this case it would be honesty and truth. Truth is not always easy but it is always right, and when we walk in right actions before God He is faithful to bless us, even if that blessing looks different than we expect. Be Blessed.
    
Proverbs 10:9
Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.

Proverbs 12:22   
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.

Proverbs 28:13   
Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy

Luke 16:10-12   
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much. If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful in that which is another's, who will give you that which is your own?

1 Peter 3:10-12   
For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”