For a long time now I've been praying for a miracle over a certain situation, and I have seen great improvement over the last few months, but something big has happened and I am not sure how it will affect things. It seems in this world to be something bad, something that should be upsetting, and in many ways is a very emotionally unsettling thing. Part of me wants to be afraid, upset, and worried over the situation, part feels as though I should be panicked but I honestly have peace.
To tell the truth though, I was feeling all those negative things yesterday. I knew a head of time what the phone call would say when it came, and worried for hours before it did come. I prayed a lot, wondering how this could possibly fit into His plans, how it could help to put His promises into fulfillment, and I still wonder that because right now I don't see how. This morning though, as I prayed I was reminded of a verse, Romans 8:28; 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.' As I prayed and started to write in my journal that verse echoed in my heart, I thought on it, and how I've seen that to be true in other parts of my life, sometimes it looked like everything was going wrong, that the opposition that was occurring would set us off course, but it actually, in the most unexpected way turned out to aid in the advancement of His promise.
The example of what came to mind is a moment that I'm not proud of, I'd been praying for several months that things at work would change, my personal life was very tough at that time and all the drama at work made things worse for me. The depression I had struggled with for years was at it's very worst, and I was starting to have uncontrollable emotional outburst at work, I was completely losing it. My boss decided to give me a leave of absence because of it. As I sat in her office crying and thinking "God what can I do, how is this possibly going to fit into the plans of my life," I suddenly felt peace. I knew in that moment that although my life looked like and felt like it was falling apart all around it was really just a set up for the next chapter in my life, a better one.
That same day I started going to therapy, and started applying to better paying, less stressful jobs; I got one in less than 2 weeks. My life has taken off in a hugely positive way since then, since that moment, I have had a better relationship with God and a better understanding of His love than I ever did before, my mental and emotional health have never been more stable, I'm making twice as much money now, plus I finished and published my first book! Something that seemed like it should have been a disaster was really a push forward, and with faith that this is what the current situation will be like too. I have the same kind of peace about it in my heart, and I know where there is peace there is God.
I don't know what will happen from here, but I am standing in faith that whatever happens will be for good. I trust Him and the peace He has placed in my heart. God has never failed and never will; even if it doesn't make sense now, doesn't look good now, doesn't mean that God can't make it good.
Romans 8:28
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
1 Corinthians 16:13-14
13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 14 Do everything in love.
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