Impatient

     Sometimes I want to skip all the work and get to the good parts right now. I want to have a house, a family of my own, success, and be able to spend all my time together as a family, and somehow manage to work from home. I think most people would like to do that too, but reality isn't that way. We have to work for what we want, and the acts of working for something or, in the case of having a baby, waiting on them to arrive seems to build our appreciation of it.
     Waiting on things, in my case children of my own, can be difficult. Everyday I am reminded of what I want, but don't yet  have. I love my job though, caring for children is an amazing gift and brings me so much joy! But a lot of the time I feel very sad in the depths of my heart. I want my own baby, my own home, my own family. Sometimes I'll admit, I even get a little  jealous of the families I've worked for.
      I know that's not right though, I know I shouldn't be jealous, and honestly even the jealousy goes back to the fact that I've always been impatient.  I'm starting to realize though, there is a purpose to waiting and it's helping to make waiting easier for me to deal with. In my waiting I am learning to appreciate what a child really means in my heart, what it will mean to be a mother, I'm learning that waiting gives you time to grow and prepare yourself, and I'm learning to trust that God will allow it to happen in His time, not mine.
     I need to be patient, even when my heart both breaks and rejoices in the sight of families. I need to trust that in this period of waiting He is doing works in my husband and myself that will help us as parents. I look forward so much to holding my baby someday, in God's time.

Psalm 27:13-14

13 I remain confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord

in the land of the living.

14 Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord.