The hurt on the inside

      I don't know if anyone else experiences this, but I'm sure I'm probably not the only one. There are days and sometimes weeks where I struggle to remember that I am blessed. I just wake up completely miserable, and unmotivated. It feels like my soul is in torment, my heart is breaking and I feel like I have no control over it.

     I paint a smile on my face and play the part of a happy person all day doing what I'm supposed to while inside it's all I can do to not to cry. I try things to make myself feel better, exercise,  being silly with the children I care for, prayers, reading scripture, smiling, writing in my diary, counting my blessings. But sometimes I just can't seem to make the hurt stop. 

     Right now is one of those periods for me, nothing can stop all the pain under the surface, I wanted to write this though not to complain, but to tell anyone who is reading this and experiencing a similar thing, you are not alone! There is someone who cares for you! And more than you know! There are people in this world who want to help you, and you have a Father in Heaven who loves you more than you will ever understand! Before you do anything rash please stop and remember this, you are loved no matter how much you hurt and feel alone YOU ARE SPECIAL, you are not alone. 

Psalms 121: 1-2

I lift my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from The Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.