When I was a teenager and into college years it could be said that I lived a double life. I hated lies, hated telling them or finding out someone lied to me, but to keep up with my friends and keep my parents from finding out what we were really doing, I lied, and often. I absolutely hated myself, I was physically sick from the fear and anxiety of being caught everyday, but still I piled one top of the other doing my best to keep them all straight and cover my tracks. My friends honestly weren't much better, and I sometimes wonder just how much we really knew about each other. One girl in particular told more lies than could be kept straight and it was her I thought of today and how meeting her taught me how important honesty is in a relationship, how she taught me to be honest.
I know that may have sounded a little strange, but it took me having to face what I was doing to understand what my parents must have felt when they knew or found out I was dishonest with them; before I could come to terms with what I was doing and change. It took probably a little over a year for me to get to that point, after that I had caught her in lies so many times that my heart became distrustful of her and I started to wonder if she ever told the truth. I became suspicious of her heart and motives because I started to notice she said one thing and did another, including sticking me with her phone bill that she was supposed to pay me for each month (I stupidly believed her that if I added her to my plan she would pay me back for it, it never happened and I eventually had to pay a costly fine to my phone provider to break contract and drop the line). All of this though was not enough for me to change, it was however enough for me to get fed up with her lies.
It wasn't until later, I'm not really sure how much later as this was all well over 6 years ago now, but it wasn't until later that I related her actions to myself. I'm not sure now if it was a sermon on TV, or one at the church I attended, but I remember listening to a sermon about liars, and lying, about how it can start out as a little white lie here or there and grow into a habit or lifestyle. This sermon talked about how lying oftentimes comes from fear or shame, we want to be liked so we tell people what we think will impress them, or we did something wrong and we don't want discovered so we cover it up. The preacher talked about other reasons we lie too, but these were the ones that caught my attention and started the process of changing my heart.
As I sat there listening I remember smugly thinking to myself that I wished that certain friend was there so she could hear the sermon too. I remember thinking to myself, that this was exactly what she needed to maybe change her heart and make her a better person to be around, and then a whisper came from my heart that broke me on this issue and forced me to face it. The whisper was gentle but powerful, I knew it was God speaking to me, He said 'this message was for you.' My mind froze, did I really just hear that? Then the flesh rose up again and tried to argue, but as I argued against the truth that I needed that message too I was reminded of my lies, I saw myself clearly and I suddenly knew that the only way to make it right was to stop lying and ask for forgiveness.
Since that moment to now and beyond, I have strived to be honest, sometimes hurting people with my honesty because I now know it is better to be hurt with the truth than comforted with lie. I keep the memory of the lies I told and how hard it was to ask forgiveness as a reminder to stay honest. I keep the memories of this former friend and how much I was hurt by her lies to remember what it feels like to be deceived, but I am not embittered towards her at all, I'm grateful for her because by her actions and dealings with me I learned how much I need honesty. I learned that there really isn't a relationship between people without it, and the same goes for God. God knows our hearts and what we need, He knows when we are honest and when we are trying to hide things in our hearts from Him, and that hiding and shame will build a wall between you if you let it. Be open and honest with the Lord, He already knows, chances are He is just waiting on you to admit it before it can change. Be blessed.
Exodus 20:16
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.
Proverbs 11:3
The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.
Ephesians 4:25
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
1 Peter 3:10-12
For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
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