Honesty has become very important in my life for many reasons. I used to lie a lot, I used to hide things a lot, and then I'd have to lie more to cover up those secrets. This caused a lot of stress and anxiety in my life. Constantly hiding, constantly covering my tracks. I was sick all the time with it. And the people I associated with weren't much better at being honest. Eventually, I got sick of it, sick of hearing all the garbage and their stories that constantly changed, sick of catching them in lies, sick of lying myself and sick of hiding.
So when I met my husband I decided to take a different approach to things, I would be totally honest with him no matter how much it hurt, how scary it was and how hard. And for me that meant not only being honest about myself, and my life but not keeping secrets from him either, I always tell people 'if you don't want Nick to know don't tell me, I don't keep secrets from my husband.' Nick took a similar approach to our relationship, on our very first date he told me all his faults, all the things other girls had hassled him about, he told me this is who he was and if I didn't like it or I wasn't looking for someone like that I could leave. Some women would be mortified at such a statement (his mother was when I told her, lol) but I was relieved. I honestly sat there a minute processing what he had said and my experiences in life thus far and decided I liked him and could live with the faults he had. I appreciated his honesty and it attracted me to him even more, this and a mutual faith in Jesus Christ became the foundation for our relationship.
As our relationship deepened and we continued on this path of honesty with each other and even ourselves I found I liked being honest. I wasn't as sick anymore and I felt better about myself, I started to like me and I really trusted him. I won't say that I totally trusted him right away though, my experiences in the past taught me to be skeptical, taught me to doubt his sincerity and even his faithfulness, especially when I had someone from my past trying to make me doubt him and break the relationship up. After sometime I took those accusations and concerns to him, and he laughed. He reassured me of his feelings and of his faithfulness to me, and when I sat down and thought about who was telling me these things I took his side, he had been honest from the start, and they lied to me consistently, shortly after this I would break ties for good with this person and my life has truly been better since.
Years have gone by now and honesty has gone from something I had in one relationship to something I strive for in all relationships. It isn't always easy to be honest with people, some times I actually offend people when I am honest with them because what I say is not what they want to hear, but I still rather be honest, be a person of integrity. People who know me now know that they can trust what I say, they know that if I tell them something it is the truth to fullest of my knowledge and if I am sure of how factual my information is I will tell them that too.
Living honestly, as God has told us to has changed my life for the better, it has stopped the constant feeling of being sick that I used to have all the time. It has decreased my anxiety, and improved my relationships with the people I'm closest to, and it has enabled me to look myself in the eyes in the mirror and actually feel good about the person I am. In living honestly I have learned that I am truly loving people by being open and by being someone they can trust. I have learned that as scary as it is at times to be honest it is also freeing, allowing you to be truly who you were created to be. Today I encourage anyone who is struggling as I once did to take that first step and just try being honest with one person, then add another, and continue to do so until you are living honestly, until being honest becomes your way of life. Be blessed friends.
Exodus 20:16
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Psalm 101:7
No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my house; no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes.
Proverbs 12:22
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Ephesians 4:25
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another
Colossians 3:9-10
Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
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