The world with all its technology is amazing! We can do and see so much, and so fast, but as much as a blessing that technology is, it is also a curse. It can be overwhelming and sometimes addictive to have so much access to the world right at your fingertips, so long as you have internet. Television is also part of that, we can watch other people's lives for entertainment and not have to live our own home. But have you ever gotten exhausted with it all? I do and often.
I love having the ability to connect with, pray with, and for people all over the world. I love learning about the different cultures of others, because I think its fascinating how different societies can be, and how similar too. But sometimes I get burned out with all the beeping and buzzing of my phone. All the games, social media, alarms, and email alerts eventually drive me crazy and I need a break. I get the need to detox for a while from all of it, that's why if anyone is a regular reader of mine, you might have noticed that I don't usually write on the weekends. I know that they say to be successful as a blogger and to be able to make a decent earning off it you should blog everyday, and be constantly on your social media sites drumming up interest in yourself, but I can't do that.
I need breaks from it all, I need quiet reflective time with the Father, and with my husband and family too. So, I put limitations on my self, and use of technology, but there are times when even that's not enough to escape the feelings of being bombarded by it all. That's when we have black outs.
It's something my husband and I started doing when we were dating and living together. If we found that the technology was getting in the way of our being able to connect and talk, or we were just overwhelmed by everything, we would set aside a night and pretend that we had no technology. We turn off our phones, put away the tablet/computer, keep the TV off, and turn out all the lights. We instead, light candles, put on music, talk and play games together. We take away all the distractions and focus on building, and strengthening our relationship.
This time is really important, but not only for our relationship together, but also our relationship with God. Undistracted time with God allows us to really reflect, listen, and correct. Every relationship needs this kind of time to succeed. I am not always successful at recognizing when I need this time, whether its a black out with my husband or one with God, but when I do take this time I never regret it. There is something refreshing and energizing about stepping away from it all, and focusing on what's REALLY important.
Joshua 1:8
8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Breaking out of Loneliness
There are times where it is easier to feel God's presence than others. There are times when our faith is stronger than other times. I thought about this this morning while I got ready for work. Sometimes, I feel very close to Him, and so sure of what I am doing, and I know that what I am doing is pleasing Him. And other times I feel completely alone, and I get these doubts that creep into my mind. I do my best in those times to not give voice to my doubts, because I understand that what we speak can affect our lives. But those moments are still there, and they are difficult.
I have found in those difficult times, where I have doubts, or feel distant from God that reading scripture or devotionals helps. In fact its often exactly in those moments when I am seeking Him desperately because I don't feel His presence, that He will remind me that He is there. It may be a verse, or a line in a worship song, maybe something in that devotional that reminds me that even when I don't feel Him He is near, because it is thru Jesus that I now live. Sometimes this doesn't happen right away though, sometimes I have to seek God a little harder and speak faith, speak praise, until something does happen.
This morning I thought about this and how the same principle could be used for relationships between other people too, not just my relation with God. There are people in my life who I love but I feel distant from, and I realized when I thought about my relationship with God and how much I work at it, that I need to do the same in my personal life with other people. Relationships require work, and effort to succeed.
It may sound odd to some, but forming and maintaining relationships with people is very hard for me, I actually find it much easier to have a relationship with God, than having a relationship with most humans. And as I write this I realize that part of the reason behind it is fear. I always tell people that I'm not social person, and while that is true to an extant, there are times that I need people and because of my actions (like avoiding calls or invitations out) I find myself lonely.
I have my husband, and my family, and a couple friends that I actually almost never hang out with, so I know that the fault is my own. This fear I have of people and relationships isn't something that was always there. It's developed over time partly due to being bullied pretty bad in school, and partly due to some seriously bad relationships I had after graduation. I became so hurt, and scared, and mistrustful after this that I barely inter act with anyone outside my family. I hide my true self away from people around me, but long for a friend who understands. And although I know I always have a friend in Jesus, I also know He wants us to have relationships, friendships, and companionship.
I am wondering now what things this fear has held me back from? What have I missed out on because I am too afraid to let people in? I don't really know how to break through this fear except to start letting people in, no matter how afraid I am, no matter how vulnerable I am, and how much it might hurt. I know it won't be easy, but I also know that God brings people into our lives for a reason, and if I trust Him, I need to trust that too.
Psalm 12:7-8
I have found in those difficult times, where I have doubts, or feel distant from God that reading scripture or devotionals helps. In fact its often exactly in those moments when I am seeking Him desperately because I don't feel His presence, that He will remind me that He is there. It may be a verse, or a line in a worship song, maybe something in that devotional that reminds me that even when I don't feel Him He is near, because it is thru Jesus that I now live. Sometimes this doesn't happen right away though, sometimes I have to seek God a little harder and speak faith, speak praise, until something does happen.
This morning I thought about this and how the same principle could be used for relationships between other people too, not just my relation with God. There are people in my life who I love but I feel distant from, and I realized when I thought about my relationship with God and how much I work at it, that I need to do the same in my personal life with other people. Relationships require work, and effort to succeed.
It may sound odd to some, but forming and maintaining relationships with people is very hard for me, I actually find it much easier to have a relationship with God, than having a relationship with most humans. And as I write this I realize that part of the reason behind it is fear. I always tell people that I'm not social person, and while that is true to an extant, there are times that I need people and because of my actions (like avoiding calls or invitations out) I find myself lonely.
I have my husband, and my family, and a couple friends that I actually almost never hang out with, so I know that the fault is my own. This fear I have of people and relationships isn't something that was always there. It's developed over time partly due to being bullied pretty bad in school, and partly due to some seriously bad relationships I had after graduation. I became so hurt, and scared, and mistrustful after this that I barely inter act with anyone outside my family. I hide my true self away from people around me, but long for a friend who understands. And although I know I always have a friend in Jesus, I also know He wants us to have relationships, friendships, and companionship.
I am wondering now what things this fear has held me back from? What have I missed out on because I am too afraid to let people in? I don't really know how to break through this fear except to start letting people in, no matter how afraid I am, no matter how vulnerable I am, and how much it might hurt. I know it won't be easy, but I also know that God brings people into our lives for a reason, and if I trust Him, I need to trust that too.
Psalm 12:7-8
7 You, Lord, will keep the needy safe
and will protect us forever from the wicked,
8 who freely strut about
when what is vile is honored by the human race
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Control And Struggles
Life seems to go much smoother when I accept that I can't control everything, when I give up my will, and allow God to take control. But it's not always easy to do, I am a creature who likes to be in control. I haven't often in my life felt like I was in control of it; so whenever I find something I can control, I have a hard time not doing just that.
Without fail though, when I think I can control something without submitting it to God's will first, and allowing Him to guide me, it becomes difficult, or spirals out of control all together. Then, I am left feeling defeated, frustrated, and often angry by what happened. This has happened to me in more than one aspect of my life. No matter what I do, if I do it without Him, I make things more difficult for myself than they need to be, and I end up walking around with a chip on my shoulder.
I wish I could give some great advice today on how to avoid doing this, because I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who struggles with control. But honestly, I have nothing on this matter except once you realize that the reason you are struggling so much isn't God's fault, but your own, ask for forgiveness and guidance on how to do things His way. Check the Bible and find out what the authority says to do on the matter. So, why did I bother writing about this today if I didn't have any advice on how to avoid it? Because we all struggle sometimes, and we need to be aware that if we are not allowing God to direct to our steps, that we are setting ourselves up for defeat.
I used to think that I would feel vulnerable handing certain things over to God, or that He had bigger things to worry about, but it's a lie. I am learning all the time, in big ways and in small ways, the more I put my trust in Him and the more I let go of my will to control, the better things work out. Sometimes, its a blind jump into something I didn't want to do, or didn't think I could do. But when I let go of me, He does great things! If you are struggling in a certain area of your life, could it be that maybe you just need to give it up? Just let go of yourself and allow God to do His will?
Job 22:21-26
Without fail though, when I think I can control something without submitting it to God's will first, and allowing Him to guide me, it becomes difficult, or spirals out of control all together. Then, I am left feeling defeated, frustrated, and often angry by what happened. This has happened to me in more than one aspect of my life. No matter what I do, if I do it without Him, I make things more difficult for myself than they need to be, and I end up walking around with a chip on my shoulder.
I wish I could give some great advice today on how to avoid doing this, because I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who struggles with control. But honestly, I have nothing on this matter except once you realize that the reason you are struggling so much isn't God's fault, but your own, ask for forgiveness and guidance on how to do things His way. Check the Bible and find out what the authority says to do on the matter. So, why did I bother writing about this today if I didn't have any advice on how to avoid it? Because we all struggle sometimes, and we need to be aware that if we are not allowing God to direct to our steps, that we are setting ourselves up for defeat.
I used to think that I would feel vulnerable handing certain things over to God, or that He had bigger things to worry about, but it's a lie. I am learning all the time, in big ways and in small ways, the more I put my trust in Him and the more I let go of my will to control, the better things work out. Sometimes, its a blind jump into something I didn't want to do, or didn't think I could do. But when I let go of me, He does great things! If you are struggling in a certain area of your life, could it be that maybe you just need to give it up? Just let go of yourself and allow God to do His will?
Job 22:21-26
21 “Submit to God and be at peace with him;
in this way prosperity will come to you.
22 Accept instruction from his mouth
and lay up his words in your heart.
23 If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored:
If you remove wickedness far from your tent
24 and assign your nuggets to the dust,
your gold of Ophir to the rocks in the ravines,
25 then the Almighty will be your gold,
the choicest silver for you.
26 Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty
and will lift up your face to God.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Memorial Day, and Memories
In my family, like many others around the United States, yesterday was a day where we go to the cemetery and pay our respects to those who have died. We place or plant flowers on graves, and we clean the headstones of any dirt they may have collected since the last time someone visited. This is something I have taken part in almost every year of my life. This year was a little different though, and a little harder emotionally than it ever has been before.
My grandmother, who was widowed 2 years ago, is now starting to show signs of Alzheimer disease. I love my grandmother very much and have a very special relationship with her because when I was little I lived with her and she had a big hand in raising me. She has always been a strong woman, and I have looked up to her my whole life.
I don't know how many of my readers have ever had to watch Alzheimer disease take hold of someone, but it runs on both sides of my family and this isn't the first person in my life that I have experienced going through this. But this time it's more emotional than it has been in the past. It's never easy to deal with, but watching it happen with my grandmother is more difficult than I ever expected.
Until yesterday I had no idea how bad it had gotten. The once strong and confident woman I so admired is now easily confused, and forgetting things moment to moment. It made me think while I sat on the ground in front of my grandfather's grave planting flowers, how important memories are. Painful memories often teach us lessons we couldn't learn any other way, and pleasant ones can provide us with comfort. Thinking about that I was grateful to God for my memories both good and bad, painful and pleasant because they built me into the woman I am now.
Although it is hard to watch my grandmother going through what she is, becoming more frail and confused every year, I cherish the healthy memories I have of her, and try to be patient with her now. Now it's my turn to remember what she has taught me about love and family; and to bless her like she has done for me over the years. She may not be able to remember many things now, and she forgets quickly, but I remember, and I will remember for years to come, and I can pass on her legacy of faith and love like she has done with me.
Yesterday was supposed to be about remembering the dead, but it ended up being a lesson in remembering the living, the struggling, and how we can honor them. It was a reminder not to take time for granted, because nothing except God's love last forever. Life and memories are fleeting, but love and faith are a lasting legacy and a tribute to our God.
1 John 2:16-17
16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.
My grandmother, who was widowed 2 years ago, is now starting to show signs of Alzheimer disease. I love my grandmother very much and have a very special relationship with her because when I was little I lived with her and she had a big hand in raising me. She has always been a strong woman, and I have looked up to her my whole life.
I don't know how many of my readers have ever had to watch Alzheimer disease take hold of someone, but it runs on both sides of my family and this isn't the first person in my life that I have experienced going through this. But this time it's more emotional than it has been in the past. It's never easy to deal with, but watching it happen with my grandmother is more difficult than I ever expected.
Until yesterday I had no idea how bad it had gotten. The once strong and confident woman I so admired is now easily confused, and forgetting things moment to moment. It made me think while I sat on the ground in front of my grandfather's grave planting flowers, how important memories are. Painful memories often teach us lessons we couldn't learn any other way, and pleasant ones can provide us with comfort. Thinking about that I was grateful to God for my memories both good and bad, painful and pleasant because they built me into the woman I am now.
Although it is hard to watch my grandmother going through what she is, becoming more frail and confused every year, I cherish the healthy memories I have of her, and try to be patient with her now. Now it's my turn to remember what she has taught me about love and family; and to bless her like she has done for me over the years. She may not be able to remember many things now, and she forgets quickly, but I remember, and I will remember for years to come, and I can pass on her legacy of faith and love like she has done with me.
Yesterday was supposed to be about remembering the dead, but it ended up being a lesson in remembering the living, the struggling, and how we can honor them. It was a reminder not to take time for granted, because nothing except God's love last forever. Life and memories are fleeting, but love and faith are a lasting legacy and a tribute to our God.
1 John 2:16-17
16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.
Friday, May 23, 2014
I'm Not Who I Was
Another school year is ending and I'm seeing stuff everywhere for proms and graduation parties, and I can't help thinking back, looking into the past and remembering what that time of life was like for me. A lot of people have really fond high school memories, and I hear a lot of people telling these young kids that are about to graduate that high school is the best time of their life and they are going to look back and miss it one day. Well, I'm 27 now, and I don't miss high school. I don't miss the humiliation, I don't miss the drama, and I don't miss the kids I went to school with. I look back at that time in my life and am grateful I made it through alive, and I'll be very honest about this, it was touch and go for a long time whether I would make it out of there alive or not. Everyday I was plagued by thoughts of suicide.
When I think back to school, and who I was then and shortly after graduation it makes me sad. I was a very hurt, lonely, young woman who was afraid to let people in. I was angry at the world, defensive, and cold towards people. I learned to be suspicious of everyone and to keep people at an arms length. Then, when I did eventually let people in, they ended up being no better for me than those kids at school were, hurting and taking advantage me because I was too foolish to tell them no. But something has happened to me since then, I'm not who I once was.
I can't be sure exactly when, or how it happened, but somewhere along the way I became strong, I became confident, I became someone else, someone I like. Someone who I finally feel is worthy of love, someone who shows love to others. I know this transition took place over a long period of time, starting after I met my husband. But I wouldn't say that he, alone, is responsible for the change, he has supported me through these changes and helped me to learn that I do have value, that I am more than the circumstances I was born into, that I am more than what I have been taught to believe about myself. But honestly I really believe God is responsible for the change in me. I really think anyone who knew me before would be surprised by who I am now. I am surprised by who I am. My entire perspective on life has changed, and my attitude is a complete 180, from what was before. I know I have a new heart now, and I know that my heart isn't done changing. I am not afraid anymore and that is definitely because of God, because of the trust I have in His plan for my life.
You have a chance today to start a new path for your life, a chance to become someone new, someone you like. Take it from me, the world broke me before, it broke me so bad I tried to end my life but it didn't have to go that way for me, and it doesn't have to go that way for you either, God has bigger plans. He stepped in and changed things as soon as I gave Him my all, and in return He has given me strength, healing, and comfort the kind that transforms from the inside and can only come from the Father. He can make you whole, He can make you someone new, so that before you even realize it you are looking back and saying 'I'm not who I was,' if only you are willing to put Him first and give Him your all. Be blessed.
Ezekiel 36:26-27
26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
When I think back to school, and who I was then and shortly after graduation it makes me sad. I was a very hurt, lonely, young woman who was afraid to let people in. I was angry at the world, defensive, and cold towards people. I learned to be suspicious of everyone and to keep people at an arms length. Then, when I did eventually let people in, they ended up being no better for me than those kids at school were, hurting and taking advantage me because I was too foolish to tell them no. But something has happened to me since then, I'm not who I once was.
I can't be sure exactly when, or how it happened, but somewhere along the way I became strong, I became confident, I became someone else, someone I like. Someone who I finally feel is worthy of love, someone who shows love to others. I know this transition took place over a long period of time, starting after I met my husband. But I wouldn't say that he, alone, is responsible for the change, he has supported me through these changes and helped me to learn that I do have value, that I am more than the circumstances I was born into, that I am more than what I have been taught to believe about myself. But honestly I really believe God is responsible for the change in me. I really think anyone who knew me before would be surprised by who I am now. I am surprised by who I am. My entire perspective on life has changed, and my attitude is a complete 180, from what was before. I know I have a new heart now, and I know that my heart isn't done changing. I am not afraid anymore and that is definitely because of God, because of the trust I have in His plan for my life.
You have a chance today to start a new path for your life, a chance to become someone new, someone you like. Take it from me, the world broke me before, it broke me so bad I tried to end my life but it didn't have to go that way for me, and it doesn't have to go that way for you either, God has bigger plans. He stepped in and changed things as soon as I gave Him my all, and in return He has given me strength, healing, and comfort the kind that transforms from the inside and can only come from the Father. He can make you whole, He can make you someone new, so that before you even realize it you are looking back and saying 'I'm not who I was,' if only you are willing to put Him first and give Him your all. Be blessed.
Ezekiel 36:26-27
26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Answered Prayer
I've been praying as usual, asking God for guidance about what to write this morning. And it occurred to me to share a testimony about the power of prayer. I have many incidents I could share of how prayer has helped, encouraged, and led me to answers; I could even share incidents where while praying I was hit with a rush of air and felt the holy spirit wash over me and move inside my heart. But I wanted to share with you an incident that happened during an alter call several years back. I want to share this testimony because it is one where no one could argue that it wasn't a supernatural experience. I know most of my readers are Christians, but I also know some are not. If you are not please read this and consider it, if you have questions please comment or message me I will be happy to answer you.
Several years ago, after finishing high school I moved out on my own. Things in my parents house were not good. My younger brother and my dad were arguing all the time, and eventually it led to violence, and let me make this perfectly clear, my father was not and never has been abusive. It was actually my brother who started throwing punches and my dad was just defending himself against him. My brother is not a small man, in fact he is quite a bit larger than my dad, and he has always had a violent temper, we often came to blows ourselves and that influenced my decision to move out.
One night things got really bad. My brother was lashing out against my parents and called my mom a' bitch' in front of my father, then shoved her, knocking my mom to the ground. My dad started screaming and yelling at this point, he was furious and who wouldn't be? Then my brother came after him, screaming back At this point my mom was frightened but she didn't want to call the police and have either of them taken to jail, so she called me to come get my brother and take him to my place. So, that's what I did.
When I picked up my brother I was angry at him and I wouldn't speak to him in the car, but I knew it was better that he and dad not be together so I did what I was told. The next day was church, I wanted my brother to go with me because we both had friends there and I honestly hoped it might do him some good, but he wanted to sleep in and said he would go with me to youth group instead, this satisfied me so I left for church and let him sleep. I had not talked to anyone about what had happened the night before, and when the Pastor opened the alter for prayer and praise at the end of service I went forward and knelt down at the alter. I sat there face down on the floor weeping and begging silently, in my heart for God to heal my family and restore peace.
Then a woman I did not know (it was a large congregation and I was still pretty new there) came over and put her hands on me. She prayed over me and spoke in tongues. When she finished she lifted my face to look at her and said to me "Don't worry anymore, God says everything is going to be okay with your dad and brother." I looked at her completely dumbfounded for a moment before I started to weep again, this time with joy. The only way she could have known why I was upset was if God told her, and to this day I am still amazed by this. It wasn't long after this that things did get better too. They still argue, but there isn't violence anymore, and hasn't been except for once more right after this. God answers prayers, and He will always provide comfort for those who seek Him. Bless you my friends.
1 Peter 5:6-7
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Several years ago, after finishing high school I moved out on my own. Things in my parents house were not good. My younger brother and my dad were arguing all the time, and eventually it led to violence, and let me make this perfectly clear, my father was not and never has been abusive. It was actually my brother who started throwing punches and my dad was just defending himself against him. My brother is not a small man, in fact he is quite a bit larger than my dad, and he has always had a violent temper, we often came to blows ourselves and that influenced my decision to move out.
One night things got really bad. My brother was lashing out against my parents and called my mom a' bitch' in front of my father, then shoved her, knocking my mom to the ground. My dad started screaming and yelling at this point, he was furious and who wouldn't be? Then my brother came after him, screaming back At this point my mom was frightened but she didn't want to call the police and have either of them taken to jail, so she called me to come get my brother and take him to my place. So, that's what I did.
When I picked up my brother I was angry at him and I wouldn't speak to him in the car, but I knew it was better that he and dad not be together so I did what I was told. The next day was church, I wanted my brother to go with me because we both had friends there and I honestly hoped it might do him some good, but he wanted to sleep in and said he would go with me to youth group instead, this satisfied me so I left for church and let him sleep. I had not talked to anyone about what had happened the night before, and when the Pastor opened the alter for prayer and praise at the end of service I went forward and knelt down at the alter. I sat there face down on the floor weeping and begging silently, in my heart for God to heal my family and restore peace.
Then a woman I did not know (it was a large congregation and I was still pretty new there) came over and put her hands on me. She prayed over me and spoke in tongues. When she finished she lifted my face to look at her and said to me "Don't worry anymore, God says everything is going to be okay with your dad and brother." I looked at her completely dumbfounded for a moment before I started to weep again, this time with joy. The only way she could have known why I was upset was if God told her, and to this day I am still amazed by this. It wasn't long after this that things did get better too. They still argue, but there isn't violence anymore, and hasn't been except for once more right after this. God answers prayers, and He will always provide comfort for those who seek Him. Bless you my friends.
1 Peter 5:6-7
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Stay or Walk Away
Sometimes we all can be overwhelmed by life. Nothing in particular, nothing bad or negative, but just the act of living and caring for others is sometimes overwhelming. It becomes worse when there are people you care for that you don't necessarily feel are giving you the same that you are giving them. But does that mean you stop caring? Should you give up and walk away? Honestly, I think it depends on the situation. We should defiantly prune our lives, take out the things and people who are not good for us, the ones who drag us down, take advantage or hurts us. But there is also a time to make things better. To keep trying even if you aren't seeing the results you want. But how do you tell the difference between a user, and someone who just needs more time and patience to come around?
Actions, the old saying is actions speak louder than words and life often proves this. When someone is making an honest effort to improve themselves, or the relationship they certainly deserve a chance to do it. But if you're going in circles, things aren't improving, and you're the only one working at it, maybe its time to rethink things. Maybe this friend who is borrowing money, shouldn't be lent anymore until they pay you back. Maybe your sister who is always bumming rides, but never has gas money, despite always having money for what she wants, maybe she needs to learn if she doesn't have the cash for gas, then you can't take her to the mall. The point here isn't to always cut them out right away, but stepping back and letting their actions decide. Putting up boundaries to protect yourself from getting used, and if after that you don't hear from them again or they attack you verbally, or spread rumors, you'll know if this was really someone who cared or someone who needed pruned.
I've had to learn this lesson the hard way, and I'm still learning it. But, truly, life is better without those people in it, even if it is your family, without the users you will be able to move forward without their extra burdens. But that doesn't mean you have to stop caring about them, it just means you can't be around them as much and you aren't going to give into them anymore.
Confusing? Not really, what I am getting at is, separate yourself, protect yourself, and pray for them. Prayer is an act of love, when you pray for someone you are loving them, that's why we should pray for our enemies. Love is bigger and more powerful than hate or revenge, whose rewards are earthly and temporary. God will respond to an act of love, like prayer, because God is love and all love comes from God.
If life is wearing you down, if people are overwhelming you, maybe you need to put up some boundaries with people. Maybe you need to find out who is worth the effort, and who is holding you back, then prune if needs be. Don't be afraid if you need to walk away, trust that God has other plans for you, even if you don't see them now. Accept that some people just are not meant to be part of your life.
Luke 6:27-31
27“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Actions, the old saying is actions speak louder than words and life often proves this. When someone is making an honest effort to improve themselves, or the relationship they certainly deserve a chance to do it. But if you're going in circles, things aren't improving, and you're the only one working at it, maybe its time to rethink things. Maybe this friend who is borrowing money, shouldn't be lent anymore until they pay you back. Maybe your sister who is always bumming rides, but never has gas money, despite always having money for what she wants, maybe she needs to learn if she doesn't have the cash for gas, then you can't take her to the mall. The point here isn't to always cut them out right away, but stepping back and letting their actions decide. Putting up boundaries to protect yourself from getting used, and if after that you don't hear from them again or they attack you verbally, or spread rumors, you'll know if this was really someone who cared or someone who needed pruned.
I've had to learn this lesson the hard way, and I'm still learning it. But, truly, life is better without those people in it, even if it is your family, without the users you will be able to move forward without their extra burdens. But that doesn't mean you have to stop caring about them, it just means you can't be around them as much and you aren't going to give into them anymore.
Confusing? Not really, what I am getting at is, separate yourself, protect yourself, and pray for them. Prayer is an act of love, when you pray for someone you are loving them, that's why we should pray for our enemies. Love is bigger and more powerful than hate or revenge, whose rewards are earthly and temporary. God will respond to an act of love, like prayer, because God is love and all love comes from God.
If life is wearing you down, if people are overwhelming you, maybe you need to put up some boundaries with people. Maybe you need to find out who is worth the effort, and who is holding you back, then prune if needs be. Don't be afraid if you need to walk away, trust that God has other plans for you, even if you don't see them now. Accept that some people just are not meant to be part of your life.
Luke 6:27-31
27“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Call Me Crazy
As many of my followers know, I published a book a while back, and I'd like to share with you how blessed I feel about it. I have not, and will not be checking my sales to see the profit until June so I can't share that information with you. But I have seen sales rank moving up on amazon from 750,000-to its current rank of 197,075. This is amazing to me! And I owe it all to God, my family, and of course my readers.
I wanted to share that because it relates back to my title and what I plan to do with the first month's profits. Call me crazy, but I promised that money to God. Obviously, that kind of jump means my book is selling, and that is wonderful. But I know it is because of God, and not me. I know this because I made a promise to God the day I submitted the book for publication, that whatever money I made the first month was His, and 10% of the profits from every month after. In the promise I said I would not check to see how much money I was making, but would stand in faith that He was providing me with funds to give to His children. And, I have kept my word and He is honoring my promise by supplying the means to bless others.
I have always had a heart to give and supply for other's needs, I prayed for a away to do that and was blessed with this opportunity. I don't know where this path will lead me, but I am willing to trust. I know to some people reading this, and undoubtedly people in my own family I have to sound crazy saying that I am going to give away all the money I wake in the first month of sales. I know some of them think I should keep part of it and better my own situation.
But here is where I stand and why. Even if my book is selling well because of my own talent, it is a God given talent and I want to thank Him for it. That was my first reason for making that promise. The second is, I struggled many years with faith, friendships, relationships, abuse of prescription pain pills, alcohol abuse, depression, anxiety, and financial situations. I am still working in some of these areas to get better, but God has seen me through all of it and been with me.So, I want to honor Him. That was the second reason, the third being my desire to bless others because I have been blessed.
Those were my reasons for making the promise. And honestly, when I made this promise I expected to make maybe $10. But looking at my sales rank I suspect it may be more, so why not give what I planned originally and keep the rest right? Well, for me the answer is, its not mine to keep. I promised that money to God, and h's children in need. The moment I made that promise it wasn't mine anymore. And if I break my word to Him how can I ever expect to be blessed again? Not that He won't or wouldn't forgive me, but I most certainly wouldn't be deserving. So, call me crazy, but I am keeping my promise. And I thank every one of you who has bought my book, thank you for allowing me to pay it forward, to pass along the blessings and provisions.
A Night at the Old Hotel and Other Short Stories: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JXNCPIU
Psalm 106:1
I wanted to share that because it relates back to my title and what I plan to do with the first month's profits. Call me crazy, but I promised that money to God. Obviously, that kind of jump means my book is selling, and that is wonderful. But I know it is because of God, and not me. I know this because I made a promise to God the day I submitted the book for publication, that whatever money I made the first month was His, and 10% of the profits from every month after. In the promise I said I would not check to see how much money I was making, but would stand in faith that He was providing me with funds to give to His children. And, I have kept my word and He is honoring my promise by supplying the means to bless others.
I have always had a heart to give and supply for other's needs, I prayed for a away to do that and was blessed with this opportunity. I don't know where this path will lead me, but I am willing to trust. I know to some people reading this, and undoubtedly people in my own family I have to sound crazy saying that I am going to give away all the money I wake in the first month of sales. I know some of them think I should keep part of it and better my own situation.
But here is where I stand and why. Even if my book is selling well because of my own talent, it is a God given talent and I want to thank Him for it. That was my first reason for making that promise. The second is, I struggled many years with faith, friendships, relationships, abuse of prescription pain pills, alcohol abuse, depression, anxiety, and financial situations. I am still working in some of these areas to get better, but God has seen me through all of it and been with me.So, I want to honor Him. That was the second reason, the third being my desire to bless others because I have been blessed.
Those were my reasons for making the promise. And honestly, when I made this promise I expected to make maybe $10. But looking at my sales rank I suspect it may be more, so why not give what I planned originally and keep the rest right? Well, for me the answer is, its not mine to keep. I promised that money to God, and h's children in need. The moment I made that promise it wasn't mine anymore. And if I break my word to Him how can I ever expect to be blessed again? Not that He won't or wouldn't forgive me, but I most certainly wouldn't be deserving. So, call me crazy, but I am keeping my promise. And I thank every one of you who has bought my book, thank you for allowing me to pay it forward, to pass along the blessings and provisions.
A Night at the Old Hotel and Other Short Stories: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JXNCPIU
Psalm 106:1
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
Monday, May 19, 2014
A Tough Walk
Yesterday my husband and I went on a long hike instead of going to church, its something we do from time to time to reset our minds and to refresh our bodies. But its something else to us too, it is spiritual. For us there is something magnificent and moving about being out in the middle of nowhere together, alone with God. There is something special about being away from the buildings, traffic, responsibilities, distractions and pushing yourself to your physical limits. I find that often during these walks it is a good time to reflect as well as plan ahead for the future. And without fail I find myself in conversation with God.
Yesterday, in one such conversation, I found myself complaining out loud about the walk. I complained about how long and difficult the walk had been, and how hard it was to climb up a very difficult hill. These things weren't a surprise to me, I knew it was going to be a tough trail, and yet I still complained even saying out loud at one point I didn't know how we'd make it back, but we were going to have too.
It was shortly after that, that God reprimanded me. He reminded me of Israel in the desert with Moses, and how much they complained, even after he repeatedly supplied for their needs. He pointed out to me that my husband, who was leading the way, was facing the same difficulty I was, but chose to say nothing negative about it. I realized in that moment I was wrong to be acting in the manner that I was. I shouldn't have been complaining about being tired, and feeling exhausted. That was what I signed up for, just like the Israelites knew when they started it would be a long journey to the promise land.
After I made this realization I shared it with my husband, and I told him I'd stop complaining, then I took everything I was complaining about, and prayed about them instead. I prayed to be renewed and re-energized, and my prayers were met as we continued on and spoke together about our Lord. It was another lesson, and what I learned was that I can depend on God to meet my needs big and small, and I can make the trip better and more bearable by staying positive instead of complaining.
Exodus 16:11-12
11 The Lord said to Moses, 12 “I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them, ‘At twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will be filled with bread. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.’ ”
Yesterday, in one such conversation, I found myself complaining out loud about the walk. I complained about how long and difficult the walk had been, and how hard it was to climb up a very difficult hill. These things weren't a surprise to me, I knew it was going to be a tough trail, and yet I still complained even saying out loud at one point I didn't know how we'd make it back, but we were going to have too.
It was shortly after that, that God reprimanded me. He reminded me of Israel in the desert with Moses, and how much they complained, even after he repeatedly supplied for their needs. He pointed out to me that my husband, who was leading the way, was facing the same difficulty I was, but chose to say nothing negative about it. I realized in that moment I was wrong to be acting in the manner that I was. I shouldn't have been complaining about being tired, and feeling exhausted. That was what I signed up for, just like the Israelites knew when they started it would be a long journey to the promise land.
After I made this realization I shared it with my husband, and I told him I'd stop complaining, then I took everything I was complaining about, and prayed about them instead. I prayed to be renewed and re-energized, and my prayers were met as we continued on and spoke together about our Lord. It was another lesson, and what I learned was that I can depend on God to meet my needs big and small, and I can make the trip better and more bearable by staying positive instead of complaining.
Exodus 16:11-12
11 The Lord said to Moses, 12 “I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them, ‘At twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will be filled with bread. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.’ ”
Friday, May 16, 2014
Make a Difference
I just finished watching show about an English man named Nicholas Winton, I was really moved by the story that was told, and what this man did for nearly 700 children in then Czechoslovakia during Nazi Germany's occupation. I found the show on Netflix if anyone's interested, its called Nicky's family.
The show caught my attention because it was about WWII and the Holocaust, I have always had an interest in history, and especially in these topics. I have been fascinated and disturbed about the events that took place and how so many people stood by and allowed it to happen. I have been inspired by the people who didn't stand by, like Nick Winton. People like him remind me that even in the darkness, God's light can get through. Even during times of great hatred in the world, love can still exist and make a difference.
Nick Winton had no idea then, just how much of a difference he would make, he had no idea how far his actions would spread and how many generations would be impacted by him. Children and adults all over have been touched and inspired by his story and the stories of the children he rescued, leading them to take action in making our world better.
What he did was huge, and has had a huge impact, but making a difference doesn't have to be huge thing. You can make a difference everyday by doing something small for someone. Showing someone who is upset compassion, or helping someone who is struggling with an assignment or task. There are things we can all do everyday to make the world better for at least the person we are sitting next to. But why bother right? Why should you care when you have your own problems?
Simply because if you don't, who will? That's what prompted Nick Winton to take action, he went to the refugee camps in Czechoslovakia, and he saw how desperate and scared the people were, and he saw that no one was helping them and he knew he had to do something.
Someone needs you today, and whether its big or small meeting that need can make a difference. It'll make a difference for them, and for you. The more love you show and good you do the more you will see of it in the world. Want the world to change? Want things to be better for your children? Then teach love, show love, be an example of someone who cares enough to say I'm going to try to help.
1 Thessalonians 5:12-15
12Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 14And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.
The show caught my attention because it was about WWII and the Holocaust, I have always had an interest in history, and especially in these topics. I have been fascinated and disturbed about the events that took place and how so many people stood by and allowed it to happen. I have been inspired by the people who didn't stand by, like Nick Winton. People like him remind me that even in the darkness, God's light can get through. Even during times of great hatred in the world, love can still exist and make a difference.
Nick Winton had no idea then, just how much of a difference he would make, he had no idea how far his actions would spread and how many generations would be impacted by him. Children and adults all over have been touched and inspired by his story and the stories of the children he rescued, leading them to take action in making our world better.
What he did was huge, and has had a huge impact, but making a difference doesn't have to be huge thing. You can make a difference everyday by doing something small for someone. Showing someone who is upset compassion, or helping someone who is struggling with an assignment or task. There are things we can all do everyday to make the world better for at least the person we are sitting next to. But why bother right? Why should you care when you have your own problems?
Simply because if you don't, who will? That's what prompted Nick Winton to take action, he went to the refugee camps in Czechoslovakia, and he saw how desperate and scared the people were, and he saw that no one was helping them and he knew he had to do something.
Someone needs you today, and whether its big or small meeting that need can make a difference. It'll make a difference for them, and for you. The more love you show and good you do the more you will see of it in the world. Want the world to change? Want things to be better for your children? Then teach love, show love, be an example of someone who cares enough to say I'm going to try to help.
1 Thessalonians 5:12-15
12Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 14And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
How will you answer?
This morning I was thinking about Gideon, specifically his response to being called a 'mighty man of valor,' he questioned the angel who said this, and when I read it I could almost imagine Gideon scoffing at him. That thought lead me to think about other men God called into His service. None of them perfect, and many of them acted like Gideon, not believing or accepting at first that they were being called by the most high God to do His will. Eventually they all came around to it, but I was thinking about how we would respond today? Would we run like Jonah? Would we use the excuse of a stutter, or some other handicap like Moses to try to get out of it? Would we argue and need a test to prove it was God calling us like Gideon? Honestly, I think for many of us the answer is yes, we would respond in some or all of the same ways they did.
But just like all the men admired in the Bible, it doesn't matter how we see ourselves, or what our past was, God sees us differently. He sees our hearts and He knows for what purpose He has created you. You might feel like it is impossible to do whatever it is that He has called you to do, and it may make absolutely no sense to you why He wants you to do it, but trust the Lord. If He is laying it on your heart to do something, do it no matter how crazy it may seem in this world, because our Lord and His ways are not of this world, He is above it. Have faith that no matter what it is He will make a way for it to happen. God does not abandon those He calls into His service, instead He raises them up and blesses them for their obedience. Because of this knowledge there should be no fear when He calls you, just surrender yourself and allow Him to use you, whether it is in a big way or a small.
It may sound crazy to some who are reading this, but I know one of you needed to read this today, and if it is you, you know it. If you have been called to service but are struggling with it because of fear or doubt, the Lord is urging you to put that fear aside, and promises that a way will be provided to do as you were told, have faith and pray for His direction. This wasn't the message I had planned on writing today, but as I prayed before I began this is what I was told to write about. May the Lord's blessings be upon you who have been called.
Job 2:21- 27
But just like all the men admired in the Bible, it doesn't matter how we see ourselves, or what our past was, God sees us differently. He sees our hearts and He knows for what purpose He has created you. You might feel like it is impossible to do whatever it is that He has called you to do, and it may make absolutely no sense to you why He wants you to do it, but trust the Lord. If He is laying it on your heart to do something, do it no matter how crazy it may seem in this world, because our Lord and His ways are not of this world, He is above it. Have faith that no matter what it is He will make a way for it to happen. God does not abandon those He calls into His service, instead He raises them up and blesses them for their obedience. Because of this knowledge there should be no fear when He calls you, just surrender yourself and allow Him to use you, whether it is in a big way or a small.
It may sound crazy to some who are reading this, but I know one of you needed to read this today, and if it is you, you know it. If you have been called to service but are struggling with it because of fear or doubt, the Lord is urging you to put that fear aside, and promises that a way will be provided to do as you were told, have faith and pray for His direction. This wasn't the message I had planned on writing today, but as I prayed before I began this is what I was told to write about. May the Lord's blessings be upon you who have been called.
Job 2:21- 27
21“Submit to God and be at peace with him;
in this way prosperity will come to you.
22Accept instruction from his mouth
and lay up his words in your heart.
23If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored:
If you remove wickedness far from your tent
24and assign your nuggets to the dust,
your gold of Ophir to the rocks in the ravines,
25then the Almighty will be your gold,
the choicest silver for you.
26Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty
and will lift up your face to God.
27You will pray to him, and he will hear you,
and you will fulfill your vows.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
There's More To It
I was saved, or asked Jesus into my heart 8 years ago this month, and I thought then that that was all that was required of me to get into Heaven. I considered myself as a Christian at that point, and started going to church regularly and even became a youth leader. I participated a lot in church activity, mostly because I was under the impression you had too. But looking back, growing up in my faith, and having a better understanding of what it means to be a Christian I realize there's more to it.
Confessing that I was a sinner and inviting Jesus into my heart was only the first step, but many Christians don't realize that there is more, there are many churches that don't teach that is more. But time and study has taught me that there is. Saying the prayer of salvation alone is not going to get you into heaven, it is however your second chance at life, a life with Jesus. There are still other requirements and we will each will still be judged by our hearts and deeds, but if you are truly saved you will be judged worthy before God. What does it truly mean to be truly saved?
It means to have asked him into your heart and to die to the ways of the world. In other words you have to change, you have to cut out the sinful behaviors, and usually the people you used to sin with. You have to walk in a way fitting of the title Christian, or Christ like. Being a Christian, being saved, means to become like Christ. Does that mean you can't ever screw up again? No, but it does mean that you have to make a conscience, and deliberate decision to live a life that honors God everyday.
I mentioned in the first paragraph that I served the church as a youth leader and other things, and service to the church is wonderful! But, service to the church, and claiming to be saved would never have kept me from hell, because my heart was not right with God. Good deeds cannot buy your way into His kingdom. It's our hearts that God looks at.
Honestly, I cannot tell you when it was that I realized I had it all wrong, it happened gradually over time until one day I just knew I had to change things, that I needed more of Him, but since then I have been determined in my studies and my relationship with the Almighty. I had to surrender myself completely to Him, and started seeking His will in everything. I had to make God first in my life, I had to put aside fear, (which is soooo much easier said than done, and I still struggle with it all the time) and really start to believe that He knew what was best for me. I had to change myself, and strive to be obedient to the Holy Spirit, instead of my desires.
Thankfully, the Lord knows my heart and knows I am trying. Being saved is not a free pass to sin, we still have to live a life that reflects Christ's life here on earth, but accepting Jesus, gives us a link to God to ask for forgiveness or anything else through Jesus, by his blood and in his name. If you have only said the prayer of salvation, but have not committed yourself to living a lifestyle that is pleasing to God, you are not truly saved or repentant. God knows our hearts and until He is first, you are still of the world. Repent, change, make God your first priority.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Luke 18:14
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."
Romans 2:12-16
12 All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13 For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. 14 (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. 15 They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.) 16 This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares.
Confessing that I was a sinner and inviting Jesus into my heart was only the first step, but many Christians don't realize that there is more, there are many churches that don't teach that is more. But time and study has taught me that there is. Saying the prayer of salvation alone is not going to get you into heaven, it is however your second chance at life, a life with Jesus. There are still other requirements and we will each will still be judged by our hearts and deeds, but if you are truly saved you will be judged worthy before God. What does it truly mean to be truly saved?
It means to have asked him into your heart and to die to the ways of the world. In other words you have to change, you have to cut out the sinful behaviors, and usually the people you used to sin with. You have to walk in a way fitting of the title Christian, or Christ like. Being a Christian, being saved, means to become like Christ. Does that mean you can't ever screw up again? No, but it does mean that you have to make a conscience, and deliberate decision to live a life that honors God everyday.
I mentioned in the first paragraph that I served the church as a youth leader and other things, and service to the church is wonderful! But, service to the church, and claiming to be saved would never have kept me from hell, because my heart was not right with God. Good deeds cannot buy your way into His kingdom. It's our hearts that God looks at.
Honestly, I cannot tell you when it was that I realized I had it all wrong, it happened gradually over time until one day I just knew I had to change things, that I needed more of Him, but since then I have been determined in my studies and my relationship with the Almighty. I had to surrender myself completely to Him, and started seeking His will in everything. I had to make God first in my life, I had to put aside fear, (which is soooo much easier said than done, and I still struggle with it all the time) and really start to believe that He knew what was best for me. I had to change myself, and strive to be obedient to the Holy Spirit, instead of my desires.
Thankfully, the Lord knows my heart and knows I am trying. Being saved is not a free pass to sin, we still have to live a life that reflects Christ's life here on earth, but accepting Jesus, gives us a link to God to ask for forgiveness or anything else through Jesus, by his blood and in his name. If you have only said the prayer of salvation, but have not committed yourself to living a lifestyle that is pleasing to God, you are not truly saved or repentant. God knows our hearts and until He is first, you are still of the world. Repent, change, make God your first priority.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Luke 18:14
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."
Romans 2:12-16
12 All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13 For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. 14 (Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. 15 They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.) 16 This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Be Careful
I often sees post on G+ and Facebook that are Bible quotes, and sometimes religious sayings of encouragement kind of like 'God loves you' and I love these post. I love the encouragement, and I love the opportunity to read verses I am not have read before, or reread ones I have read. I think the communities and people who are doing this are a blessing, taking the Lord's word and putting the truth out there to be seen and known.
But, be careful, on G+ and everywhere else too. We were warned of wolves in sheep clothing, and I have found many post where people have put things up or liked them, where what was stated about God was not founded in Biblical truth. I admit to 'liking' or 'one upping' or sharing some of these post myself when I didn't read them carefully, or I did not know it was untrue until I studied it later. I have seen televangelist on TV corrupting His word, taking things out of context and twisting it to serve their purpose and point, rather than God's and by doing this leading people down a path to destruction.
So, I want you to be careful, don't believe everything you hear or see, test it against the truth. And if you find what was said to be untruthful, say something, even if you don't think they will listen, because even if your words don't reach that individual they may reach someone else and save them from that mistake. Stand bold for the Lord, but don't be rude. We are called to love, and even when someone is misrepresenting the truth we should not attack them. Correct them in a loving manner and pray for them, allow the Lord to work on their hearts.
To protect ourselves from these falsehoods we must know the Lord, and to know Him you must study His word and pray. As I write this today, I am praying for you and myself. I am praying that we will not be deceived, and that we will be diligent in seeking the Lord and His truth. Our walks are all different, and He speaks to each of us in different manners, because He knows our hearts and how to best reach them, but no matter how He speaks to you, His truth does not change. He is the same God today as He was the first day.
Matthew 10:16-20
16“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. 17Be on your guard; you will be handed over to the local councils and be flogged in the synagogues. 18On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. 19But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, 20for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
But, be careful, on G+ and everywhere else too. We were warned of wolves in sheep clothing, and I have found many post where people have put things up or liked them, where what was stated about God was not founded in Biblical truth. I admit to 'liking' or 'one upping' or sharing some of these post myself when I didn't read them carefully, or I did not know it was untrue until I studied it later. I have seen televangelist on TV corrupting His word, taking things out of context and twisting it to serve their purpose and point, rather than God's and by doing this leading people down a path to destruction.
So, I want you to be careful, don't believe everything you hear or see, test it against the truth. And if you find what was said to be untruthful, say something, even if you don't think they will listen, because even if your words don't reach that individual they may reach someone else and save them from that mistake. Stand bold for the Lord, but don't be rude. We are called to love, and even when someone is misrepresenting the truth we should not attack them. Correct them in a loving manner and pray for them, allow the Lord to work on their hearts.
To protect ourselves from these falsehoods we must know the Lord, and to know Him you must study His word and pray. As I write this today, I am praying for you and myself. I am praying that we will not be deceived, and that we will be diligent in seeking the Lord and His truth. Our walks are all different, and He speaks to each of us in different manners, because He knows our hearts and how to best reach them, but no matter how He speaks to you, His truth does not change. He is the same God today as He was the first day.
Matthew 10:16-20
16“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. 17Be on your guard; you will be handed over to the local councils and be flogged in the synagogues. 18On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. 19But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, 20for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Victory when We Should have been Defeated
Sometimes its not until you look back that realize God has been leading you the whole time. It's not until you look back that you can see how it worked out just right, and for the best. You look back and you see those moments that you felt like giving up, but didn't. You see those moments where things were at the worst, then someone or something showed up to encourage you. God is there in these moments as the small voice of encouragement, or the victory over what seemed like certain defeat. He is in those moments of triumph when you were on the brink of giving up, but the miraculous happened.
Recently, my husband and I have been talking about the first couple years of our marriage. We really have only been married for a few years, but in our first year of marriage all hell broke loose. It seemed like our whole world was falling a part. And the more we tried to cling to God, the more difficult things became. We both struggled differently at this time with anxiety, depression, and emotional hurt from the things that were going on. It felt like everyday there was some new struggle, real or imagined, that was there and being used to pull us a part, to distract us from one another, to distract us from God and His promises so that we would be destroyed. But God kept us safe just as His word promises, and led us out from under the burden of these destructive forces and now I can see we are on our way back to fullness.
I felt at times while we struggled that God had abandoned us, but I kept praying anyway, kept believing, and kept speaking faith. Sometimes, I thought things were getting better, only to have them fall apart again, and be crushed by the disappointment. But I realize now, those small moments that built my hopes up again, that reinforced my belief that God would see us through were there for that very reason, even if I didn't see it that way at the time. I saw those moments of hope as the end of the struggle, but each time was disappointed, and at times despite my positive words and my prayers wondered if the struggle would ever end. But it was those moments where I saw hope that kept me moving forward, even through the disappointments I faced after. I see now how these certain situations that seemed like defeat, were really stepping stones in the path to the present.
I know with certainty now that this struggle is over, but I also know there will be other struggles in the future. I know that we are already moving forward with the next chapter of our life, and I know it was our Lord who saw us through. I know it was His guidance that moved us along, and it was His protection that kept us out of the enemies hands. I have learned these last couple of years the truth of the words that the Lord will provide, because He does, continually and in abundance. I have learned that there can be no defeat where Jesus is involved, and I have learned the more I desire to be obedient and obey, the more fulfilled my life is. In the face of what should have been defeat, when we watched many other newly weds struggle and break up, we were able to overcome our struggles in the Lord, and learned that He is a God who provides in the face of adversity.
Psalm 65:9
9 You visit the earth and cause it to overflow; You greatly enrich it; The stream of God is full of water; You prepare their grain, for thus You prepare the earth.
Recently, my husband and I have been talking about the first couple years of our marriage. We really have only been married for a few years, but in our first year of marriage all hell broke loose. It seemed like our whole world was falling a part. And the more we tried to cling to God, the more difficult things became. We both struggled differently at this time with anxiety, depression, and emotional hurt from the things that were going on. It felt like everyday there was some new struggle, real or imagined, that was there and being used to pull us a part, to distract us from one another, to distract us from God and His promises so that we would be destroyed. But God kept us safe just as His word promises, and led us out from under the burden of these destructive forces and now I can see we are on our way back to fullness.
I felt at times while we struggled that God had abandoned us, but I kept praying anyway, kept believing, and kept speaking faith. Sometimes, I thought things were getting better, only to have them fall apart again, and be crushed by the disappointment. But I realize now, those small moments that built my hopes up again, that reinforced my belief that God would see us through were there for that very reason, even if I didn't see it that way at the time. I saw those moments of hope as the end of the struggle, but each time was disappointed, and at times despite my positive words and my prayers wondered if the struggle would ever end. But it was those moments where I saw hope that kept me moving forward, even through the disappointments I faced after. I see now how these certain situations that seemed like defeat, were really stepping stones in the path to the present.
I know with certainty now that this struggle is over, but I also know there will be other struggles in the future. I know that we are already moving forward with the next chapter of our life, and I know it was our Lord who saw us through. I know it was His guidance that moved us along, and it was His protection that kept us out of the enemies hands. I have learned these last couple of years the truth of the words that the Lord will provide, because He does, continually and in abundance. I have learned that there can be no defeat where Jesus is involved, and I have learned the more I desire to be obedient and obey, the more fulfilled my life is. In the face of what should have been defeat, when we watched many other newly weds struggle and break up, we were able to overcome our struggles in the Lord, and learned that He is a God who provides in the face of adversity.
Psalm 65:9
9 You visit the earth and cause it to overflow; You greatly enrich it; The stream of God is full of water; You prepare their grain, for thus You prepare the earth.
Friday, May 9, 2014
The Free Gift
Life is a gift but it can sometimes also be a mystery, and for someone like me not understanding, or not being in control of the situation can often be a hard thing to accept. When this happens I will admit I sometimes get so impatient with God, I get upset at Him when things don't look like I think they should. But then I'll pray, it may start out as me whining and complaining that things aren't how I want but by the end of it I'm reminded to be obedient and patient. That to serve God is to trust Him, trust that His perfect will is what is best, His perfect timing will work it all out according to His plan and purpose. This reassurance re-energizes me It renews my spirit and gives me the strength to go on, to accept His will over mine, but even so sometimes my sinful nature creeps back in and I become that spoiled brat again demanding to know what's going on and to have it my way.
I brought this bad behavior in myself up today because I'm reading a book right now I found on amazon for free about Jesus on the cross, and I read something that has been popping up in my head all day. Something that has really touched my heart, it's something I have thought of before but now it's deeper to me because I realize how much I needed it, and how much He endured for it. What I keep thinking about is my behavior, not just the one I described above, but in many areas of my life past and present. I think of my sins and Jesus calling out from the cross "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."(Luke 23:34). I'm a spoiled, ungrateful brat at times, I've lied, I have drank way too much on more than one occasion, I've smoked, abused pills, and cursed, I've been mean and hateful, and I tried to purposely hurt God by sinning because I was angry at Him and Yeshua asked for my forgiveness. In the midst of terrible pain, pain that He bore because of me and you, He asked for our forgiveness. Sinless, and shameless Jesus took it all, and asked for our forgiveness...
I am humbled by this, I am in awe of God's mercy and love. And I am in wonder of the obedience and dedication of the Savior in doing His Father's will by becoming the sacrificial lamb for us. Yeshua willing gave His life for ours, willing paid the price for our failings, our sins, then rose again to conquer death. I know I will never be perfect, but everyday I have the chance to follow Jesus, to allow the Holy Spirit to guide me. Everyday I have a chance to follow His example of love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, and do it better than the day before. Be blessed.
Mark 8:34
And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Romans 5:8
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us
Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord
Hebrews 10:8
First he said, "Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings, and sin offerings you did not desire, nor were you pleased with them"-- though they were offered in accordance with the law.
I brought this bad behavior in myself up today because I'm reading a book right now I found on amazon for free about Jesus on the cross, and I read something that has been popping up in my head all day. Something that has really touched my heart, it's something I have thought of before but now it's deeper to me because I realize how much I needed it, and how much He endured for it. What I keep thinking about is my behavior, not just the one I described above, but in many areas of my life past and present. I think of my sins and Jesus calling out from the cross "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."(Luke 23:34). I'm a spoiled, ungrateful brat at times, I've lied, I have drank way too much on more than one occasion, I've smoked, abused pills, and cursed, I've been mean and hateful, and I tried to purposely hurt God by sinning because I was angry at Him and Yeshua asked for my forgiveness. In the midst of terrible pain, pain that He bore because of me and you, He asked for our forgiveness. Sinless, and shameless Jesus took it all, and asked for our forgiveness...
I am humbled by this, I am in awe of God's mercy and love. And I am in wonder of the obedience and dedication of the Savior in doing His Father's will by becoming the sacrificial lamb for us. Yeshua willing gave His life for ours, willing paid the price for our failings, our sins, then rose again to conquer death. I know I will never be perfect, but everyday I have the chance to follow Jesus, to allow the Holy Spirit to guide me. Everyday I have a chance to follow His example of love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, and do it better than the day before. Be blessed.
Mark 8:34
And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Romans 5:8
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us
Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord
Hebrews 10:8
First he said, "Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings, and sin offerings you did not desire, nor were you pleased with them"-- though they were offered in accordance with the law.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Praise Regardless
I have been in pain for days, but I am still blessed. I am struggling with being patient and kind to others as I know I should because I hurt, and that's where my focus has been, but I am still blessed. I have had a hard time seeing that the last couple of days, I've had a hard time enjoying or being grateful for what I have. I have been complaining, and pleading with God to make the pain stop. I have been begging for comfort, without giving any thanks for the comforts I do have.
Then this morning as I drove into work and I was listening to my radio; they started talking about praising in the storm, and a couple of people called in and gave testimony. I felt ashamed listening to these people. Their struggles, their burdens were so much worse than my own. I may not be at my best right now, but it could be so much worse. I may not feel good, but I have been able to get up out of bed and go to work anyway. I listened to these people talk and one of them, a woman, made a comment about how even on her bad days she tries to find at least one thing to be grateful for, and if thats too hard she'll pray to find the lesson in her struggle. Her words struck me deep and made me ask myself a question, if a woman dying of cancer can praise The Lord for the little blessings; why can't I? If she can look for a lesson in the struggle, why can't I?
Honestly, there is no reason. I realize that and I was ashamed of myself because of what I heard this morning. I knew I could be doing better, I know I can do better. I could have had a better attitude if I had chosen to, I could have found lots to be grateful for had I tried, and in that I found my lesson. It's a lesson I have had to repeat many times, and I am sure will have to learn many more times over. There is always a reason to be grateful, there is always a reason to praise. Even when the storm rages and you can't see the light, we know its always there, and that is enough that we should praise.
Today I make the choice I should have made days ago, I choose to praise despite my pain, and despite everything else. I choose to be grateful, because I am blessed.
Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For The Lord comforts His people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones.
Then this morning as I drove into work and I was listening to my radio; they started talking about praising in the storm, and a couple of people called in and gave testimony. I felt ashamed listening to these people. Their struggles, their burdens were so much worse than my own. I may not be at my best right now, but it could be so much worse. I may not feel good, but I have been able to get up out of bed and go to work anyway. I listened to these people talk and one of them, a woman, made a comment about how even on her bad days she tries to find at least one thing to be grateful for, and if thats too hard she'll pray to find the lesson in her struggle. Her words struck me deep and made me ask myself a question, if a woman dying of cancer can praise The Lord for the little blessings; why can't I? If she can look for a lesson in the struggle, why can't I?
Honestly, there is no reason. I realize that and I was ashamed of myself because of what I heard this morning. I knew I could be doing better, I know I can do better. I could have had a better attitude if I had chosen to, I could have found lots to be grateful for had I tried, and in that I found my lesson. It's a lesson I have had to repeat many times, and I am sure will have to learn many more times over. There is always a reason to be grateful, there is always a reason to praise. Even when the storm rages and you can't see the light, we know its always there, and that is enough that we should praise.
Today I make the choice I should have made days ago, I choose to praise despite my pain, and despite everything else. I choose to be grateful, because I am blessed.
Isaiah 49:13
Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For The Lord comforts His people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
War of Love
I've been watching the Bible series on Netflix the last couple of days, and although I really enjoy it I know many were upset by the inaccuracies. And I understand this, sometimes I catch myself getting bothered by it as I watch, but then I allow the feeling to pass and continue watching. My thoughts at the moment are, how often do we all do this? How often do we let inaccuracies, or wrongs bother us but just let it pass? How often do we really listen to the voice in our hearts that shouts this is wrong?
I'm not really talking about the show when I ask these things, I'm talking about out there, in the world. I know we all have had moments like that, times when we felt something was wrong and we should do something, but we chose to ignore the voice instead. As I am watching the show and seeing these great men of God listening to His guidance, I can't help but wonder, what if they had ignored their calling to action?
I am thinking, what if that voice, our conscience, had more authority than we give it credit? Could it really be God talking to us? I think so. And I think maybe we need to start giving Him, His authority back. We need to look at the world and let our hearts be outraged for His sake, and we need to let that outrage lead us to action. I am not talking about brute force though, I am talking about love.
Christians are most dangerous to the world's ways not when we pick up a weapon of man and fight, but when we pick up others in God's love. When we extend help, and charity, and the word of God to those in need, we are a danger to those who want to oppress, and mislead the world about who Christians are and judge us all by how some may have fallen. People want to believe we that we are pushy, arrogant, and hypocrites, but when we allow our outrage to move us in a direction of love rather than wrath we are combating those lies by our actions, and glorifying God.
I realize I probably sound like a hippie to some people the way I talk about love and peace, but the more I study about the Savior, the Spirit, and God, the more is see the same lesson repeated, God's love, grace, and mercy are what's needed to change the world, and the only things that can change hearts. As you put on the armor of God each day, make sure you are burning brightly with His love, listen to your conscience when it calls to you and obey it in love.
Deuteronomy 6:18
18 Do what is right and good in the Lord’s sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors,
I'm not really talking about the show when I ask these things, I'm talking about out there, in the world. I know we all have had moments like that, times when we felt something was wrong and we should do something, but we chose to ignore the voice instead. As I am watching the show and seeing these great men of God listening to His guidance, I can't help but wonder, what if they had ignored their calling to action?
I am thinking, what if that voice, our conscience, had more authority than we give it credit? Could it really be God talking to us? I think so. And I think maybe we need to start giving Him, His authority back. We need to look at the world and let our hearts be outraged for His sake, and we need to let that outrage lead us to action. I am not talking about brute force though, I am talking about love.
Christians are most dangerous to the world's ways not when we pick up a weapon of man and fight, but when we pick up others in God's love. When we extend help, and charity, and the word of God to those in need, we are a danger to those who want to oppress, and mislead the world about who Christians are and judge us all by how some may have fallen. People want to believe we that we are pushy, arrogant, and hypocrites, but when we allow our outrage to move us in a direction of love rather than wrath we are combating those lies by our actions, and glorifying God.
I realize I probably sound like a hippie to some people the way I talk about love and peace, but the more I study about the Savior, the Spirit, and God, the more is see the same lesson repeated, God's love, grace, and mercy are what's needed to change the world, and the only things that can change hearts. As you put on the armor of God each day, make sure you are burning brightly with His love, listen to your conscience when it calls to you and obey it in love.
Deuteronomy 6:18
18 Do what is right and good in the Lord’s sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors,
Monday, May 5, 2014
Hard Choices
We all make choices, some more difficult than others. I have a dear friend who made an extremely difficult choice this weekend. I am so proud of him, he made the right choice. He did what was going to be best for his health long term, despite what he wanted in the moment. But my heart breaks for him because he had to walk out of a relationship he really wanted in order to do this.
I know it was the most difficult decision he ever made, and we are both aware that he couldn't have done it on his own. My friend has made a decision to make God, and recovery his top priorities and he's really sticking to it, he's making the hard choices.
For the first time since I've known him, he is making long term choices instead of short term. He is struggling though, and especially after yesterday. Normally I try to take my life experiences and relate them to God, or Biblical principle. Normally I try to share something to make you think or inspire. But today I am asking for prayer for my friend. I ask you to pray for him to continue making the hard choices. And I pray that you do too.
I pray that you think long term wellness, not short pleasure. And may God always be with you, guiding you, and comforting you in your hard choices. May blessing and favor fall upon, as you make these choices, and may you always have the support you need. In Jesus name, Amen.
Proverbs 2:11
Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe.
I know it was the most difficult decision he ever made, and we are both aware that he couldn't have done it on his own. My friend has made a decision to make God, and recovery his top priorities and he's really sticking to it, he's making the hard choices.
For the first time since I've known him, he is making long term choices instead of short term. He is struggling though, and especially after yesterday. Normally I try to take my life experiences and relate them to God, or Biblical principle. Normally I try to share something to make you think or inspire. But today I am asking for prayer for my friend. I ask you to pray for him to continue making the hard choices. And I pray that you do too.
I pray that you think long term wellness, not short pleasure. And may God always be with you, guiding you, and comforting you in your hard choices. May blessing and favor fall upon, as you make these choices, and may you always have the support you need. In Jesus name, Amen.
Proverbs 2:11
Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe.
Friday, May 2, 2014
Let my Heart be Broken
When I am scrolling around on communities on G+ or even just watching the news my heart breaks because of all the sadness and evil in the world. I find myself often being upset by the images, or post and honestly most of the time I end up changing the channel or scrolling past. I feel a need to protect myself from the harshness of this world, and to not over load on the negativity that is pumped in to us on a daily basis.
This morning though I find myself wondering if it is the right way to handle things. Not that pumping yourself full of negativity is good for you, I'm just wondering if what I really need to do is let my heart break for these people and their situations. The Bible says in Psalm 34:18 that The Lord is close to the broken hearted, could allowing your heart to break for the struggling and praying out of that brokenness be what's needed for their healing? And needed to bring your relationship closer to God?
My mind started to go there this morning as I prayed over a person who put up a post about wanting to die. I don't know this person or their situation, but my heart broke for them because I know that feeling, I've been there before many times. I left them a couple messages telling them I am here for them and willing to talk to them or just listen. Then I prayed for them, and as I did I thought about how heavy my heart was for them. I thought about if it broke my heart this much, how much more was it breaking God's heart? Then that section of the verse came to mind, The Lord is close to the broken hearted and the thought that maybe The Lord is close to the broken hearted not only for comfort, but because its through heart break and acts of compassion that we are able to see a glimpse of His love. When we allow our heart to break and move us to action, even if its just prayer, we are acting on God's love.
After spending a little time thinking about it, and praying I think it's time I stop shielding myself from the evil in this world and start praying for it, start working against it by encouraging, inspiring, and physically helping when I can. We cannot expect the world to change or hearts to change for The Lord if we are not broken for the broken. If we don't meet them where they are and express compassion and love to them. We need to let our hearts break for others and let The Lord lead us in the healing.
Psalm 34:17-20
This morning though I find myself wondering if it is the right way to handle things. Not that pumping yourself full of negativity is good for you, I'm just wondering if what I really need to do is let my heart break for these people and their situations. The Bible says in Psalm 34:18 that The Lord is close to the broken hearted, could allowing your heart to break for the struggling and praying out of that brokenness be what's needed for their healing? And needed to bring your relationship closer to God?
My mind started to go there this morning as I prayed over a person who put up a post about wanting to die. I don't know this person or their situation, but my heart broke for them because I know that feeling, I've been there before many times. I left them a couple messages telling them I am here for them and willing to talk to them or just listen. Then I prayed for them, and as I did I thought about how heavy my heart was for them. I thought about if it broke my heart this much, how much more was it breaking God's heart? Then that section of the verse came to mind, The Lord is close to the broken hearted and the thought that maybe The Lord is close to the broken hearted not only for comfort, but because its through heart break and acts of compassion that we are able to see a glimpse of His love. When we allow our heart to break and move us to action, even if its just prayer, we are acting on God's love.
After spending a little time thinking about it, and praying I think it's time I stop shielding myself from the evil in this world and start praying for it, start working against it by encouraging, inspiring, and physically helping when I can. We cannot expect the world to change or hearts to change for The Lord if we are not broken for the broken. If we don't meet them where they are and express compassion and love to them. We need to let our hearts break for others and let The Lord lead us in the healing.
Psalm 34:17-20
17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
20he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Care too Much
When I was in high school (and really most of my life) I struggled a lot with my emotions. I have always been the sensitive sort and with a lot going on in my personal life the guidance counselor at the school I attended then suggested that I go see a therapist for a while to learn to cope better. I did as she suggested and when I did the therapist I went to said something to me that I have never forgotten but always questioned. She told me that I cared too much, that I worried about other people and their problems too deeply and that's why my heart was so burdened. I can't say that I disagree with her entirely, my heart is burdened because I care about everyone, but I can't agree that I care too much. I just can't wrap my head around that statement and never have honestly.
For a long time I tried to believe this therapist, I tried to believe that the problem was I cared too much, so I did my best to stop caring about other people. I tried to ignore their pain, feelings, and emotion by closing myself off from my heart and that made me a very cold person. I became so cold in fact that for a couple of years people even called me the ice queen. Even in that time of my life though, my heart cried out to me questioning what she said, always when I thought about it my heart would ask back, 'maybe it's not that you care too much, maybe it's that others don't care enough.'
I said the prayer of salvation in May 2006, but stayed in the carnal mind for several more years, still holding on to what the therapist told me. In my heart, I wanted to be different, but I didn't know how to pull those bricks down I had built up to protect myself. I wanted to care about others like I used to, but I was afraid of being hurt again. Since then though, God has been pulling down the bricks I put up around my heart, He has been restoring me and teaching me to love. Sometimes He takes out large chunks all at once and other times its so subtle I barely notice at first. I'll sometimes feel really weak and vulnerable for awhile when these walls come down, but as I get closer to Him the weakness and brokenness of my heart has changed to something else. It's changed to a call to do something about the things that hurt.
I didn't realize what was happening at first, I didn't realize how much God had been changing my heart back to His original plan for it until yesterday. When I was driving home from work I noticed the car in front of me swerving a lot and not being able to keep a steady speed, even coming to a complete stop in the middle of the road after turning. My first thought was this person had to be drunk, my usual next thought is anger. But that isn't how I responded this time, this same type of scenario has played out probably a dozen or so times since I got my license as a teenager, but yesterday was the first time my response changed, and I realized so have I.
Instead of being mad at this person for being irresponsible, selfish, and endangering people's lives I found myself being concerned for them. I wanted to make sure they were okay. I wanted to know that they would make it home okay, and that no one would be hurt. And I found myself wondering what I could do to help them. I didn't know then what to do, so I just followed this person at a safe distance until they turned off and I prayed for them. But then I went home and asked around so I would know what to do next time. I realize now that my wall is almost gone, my heart wants so badly to help others, and to love them. I know this is God's will because He wants His children to love and care for others, and I know it's God because the world says to mind your business and look out for number one, don't care too much for anyone because it only leads to pain.
To be totally honest, I'm happier when I 'care too much.' I am happiest when I let my concern for others lead me to action. Caring too much is just the worlds opinion, I realize that now. We can never care too much.
John 13:34
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
For a long time I tried to believe this therapist, I tried to believe that the problem was I cared too much, so I did my best to stop caring about other people. I tried to ignore their pain, feelings, and emotion by closing myself off from my heart and that made me a very cold person. I became so cold in fact that for a couple of years people even called me the ice queen. Even in that time of my life though, my heart cried out to me questioning what she said, always when I thought about it my heart would ask back, 'maybe it's not that you care too much, maybe it's that others don't care enough.'
I said the prayer of salvation in May 2006, but stayed in the carnal mind for several more years, still holding on to what the therapist told me. In my heart, I wanted to be different, but I didn't know how to pull those bricks down I had built up to protect myself. I wanted to care about others like I used to, but I was afraid of being hurt again. Since then though, God has been pulling down the bricks I put up around my heart, He has been restoring me and teaching me to love. Sometimes He takes out large chunks all at once and other times its so subtle I barely notice at first. I'll sometimes feel really weak and vulnerable for awhile when these walls come down, but as I get closer to Him the weakness and brokenness of my heart has changed to something else. It's changed to a call to do something about the things that hurt.
I didn't realize what was happening at first, I didn't realize how much God had been changing my heart back to His original plan for it until yesterday. When I was driving home from work I noticed the car in front of me swerving a lot and not being able to keep a steady speed, even coming to a complete stop in the middle of the road after turning. My first thought was this person had to be drunk, my usual next thought is anger. But that isn't how I responded this time, this same type of scenario has played out probably a dozen or so times since I got my license as a teenager, but yesterday was the first time my response changed, and I realized so have I.
Instead of being mad at this person for being irresponsible, selfish, and endangering people's lives I found myself being concerned for them. I wanted to make sure they were okay. I wanted to know that they would make it home okay, and that no one would be hurt. And I found myself wondering what I could do to help them. I didn't know then what to do, so I just followed this person at a safe distance until they turned off and I prayed for them. But then I went home and asked around so I would know what to do next time. I realize now that my wall is almost gone, my heart wants so badly to help others, and to love them. I know this is God's will because He wants His children to love and care for others, and I know it's God because the world says to mind your business and look out for number one, don't care too much for anyone because it only leads to pain.
To be totally honest, I'm happier when I 'care too much.' I am happiest when I let my concern for others lead me to action. Caring too much is just the worlds opinion, I realize that now. We can never care too much.
John 13:34
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
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