The Free Gift

     Life is a gift but it can sometimes also be a mystery, and for someone like me not understanding, or not being in control of the situation can often be a hard thing to accept. When this happens I will admit I sometimes get so impatient with God, I get upset at Him when things don't look like I think they should. But then I'll pray, it may start out as me whining and complaining that things aren't how I want but by the end of it I'm reminded to be obedient and patient. That to serve God is to trust Him, trust that His perfect will is what is best, His perfect timing will work it all out according to His plan and purpose. This reassurance re-energizes me It renews my spirit and gives me the strength to go on, to accept His will over mine, but even so sometimes my sinful nature creeps back in and I become that spoiled brat again demanding to know what's going on and to have it my way.
      I brought this bad behavior in myself up today because I'm reading a book right now I found on amazon for free about Jesus on the cross, and I read something that has been popping up in my head all day. Something that has really touched my heart, it's something I have thought of before but now it's deeper to me because I realize how much I needed it, and how much He endured for it. What I keep thinking about is my behavior, not just the one I described above, but in many areas of my life past and present. I think of my sins and Jesus calling out from the cross "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."(Luke 23:34). I'm a spoiled, ungrateful brat at times, I've lied, I have drank way too much on more than one occasion, I've smoked, abused pills, and cursed, I've been mean and hateful, and I tried to purposely hurt God by sinning because I was angry at Him and Yeshua asked for my forgiveness. In the midst of terrible pain, pain that He bore because of me and you, He asked for our forgiveness. Sinless, and shameless Jesus took it all, and asked for our forgiveness...
      I am humbled by this, I am in awe of God's mercy and love. And I am in wonder of the obedience and dedication of the Savior in doing His Father's will by becoming the sacrificial lamb for us. Yeshua willing gave His life for ours, willing paid the price for our failings, our sins, then rose again to conquer death.  I know I will never be perfect, but everyday I have the chance to follow Jesus, to allow the Holy Spirit to guide me. Everyday I have a chance to follow His example of love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, and do it better than the day before. Be blessed.

Mark 8:34   
And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Romans 5:8   
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us

Romans 6:23   
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord

Hebrews 10:8
First he said, "Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings, and sin offerings you did not desire, nor were you pleased with them"-- though they were offered in accordance with the law.