In February of this year my husband and I got the news we had long expected and hoped for, we were going to be parents. We were joyous, nervous, scared and elated. But soon after that joy was replaced by fear, not fear over the pregnancy but fear of how we would provide for our child when in March my employers said that I couldn't bring the baby to work with me ( I worked as a nanny) and that I would have to make other arrangements or leave my position. They felt this was what was best for their children and I cannot begrudge them that, but other arrangements for us was out of the question. We could not afford a babysitter so that I could babysit, we could not afford daycare so that I could care for someone else's children, and no one in our families would be able to watch the baby because either they were working or their health was too poor. With our only option being that I find other employment that wouldn't require daycare or babysitting for our child, we were frightened.
After getting the news I cried out to God, I literally wept as I prayed, declared faith in Him, and asked for His help, His provision. And in response He gave me a word from Matthew to hang onto over the following months, Matthew 6:25-34, and peace that reached to the depths of my soul, settling me and giving strength to move forward and begin the search.
Things became more difficult, more scary and tense as the medical bills came in and began mounting. I was losing my job and I didn't know when, we had no insurance, and had to pay out of pocket for everything, and we couldn't get any assistance because we made too much with what I was currently making. Debt loomed over us and we still didn't know how God would see us through, how we would make these payments, keep our house, and keep the car my husband needed for his job. Things were getting worse, but still I remembered the word God gave me, and when I forgot or got too scared, God reminded me and we marched on believing in His provision.
In April we found hope in a customer service position through Fed-Ex where I could work from home. This was exactly the kind of job I needed, it came with benefits, a 401(k), and pension plan, and the salary was just about the same as I had been making. It meant some sacrifices, some changes to our lifestyle, but in the end it would be worth it and I applied. This was not the only relief we were given either, around this same time my dad gave us a small sum of money to help pay down some of the debt and keep us afloat until the job situation was figured out. At this time I was still working but we had no clue for how long.
In May came more bad news, June 10 was to be my last day; I still didn't have a job, and now only had 6 weeks to find one. Not only that but my previous visit to the doctor had raised some concerns, the baby was fine but the doctor was worried that things were not as they should be with me and ordered an array of test and a sonogram to make sure. In April fear had overrun me and I had backslide before God got my attention and refocused me once more on Him. This time though I refused to run scared and battled through prayer and praise, believing and knowing in my heart God never fails, He would provide just in time and my womb would be healed by His great grace and healing.
Now on June 12th I am overjoyed to share with you that our God is the God of miracles, a provider and a healer! After all that we went through these last 4 months we are standing in awe of His goodness to us. Recently I went back to the doctor, and everything was exactly as it should have been! I was in great health and so is Jack, our son due October 6. But not only was I healed, I got the Fed-ex job and will start on June 20th! For months I have known I was brought into a season where God was going to show me how He would, could and does provide for His children, how He is my source for all, and in my moments of doubt there was always a message that reminded and strengthened me in that belief. And now at the end of this difficult season I have a deeper love and trust for God than ever before, I am grateful to a depth I had not previously known and hopeful for the future. Be blessed and encouraged my brothers and sisters, God hears your prayers and answers.
Psalm 37:4-6
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Matthew 15:28
Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.
Philippians 4:19
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Hebrews 4:16
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Monday, June 6, 2016
Careful Who You Listen too
Be careful who you listen too, whose advice and words you allow into your heart and mind, not everyone is after your best interest. Some people will make things up, others will repeat lies to you and all for the purpose of their own desires, or acting out in their pain and wanting you to hurt too. This person can be family or a friend, an acquaintance or someone you've known for years, but before believing everything they tell you looking at their character and track record may be a good idea. I'm not saying to call them a liar, or to be unforgiving towards them, but to simply guard your heart from words that are likely untrue and very dangerous to your own heart and potentially others.
As I usually try to do I am speaking from experience here. Words can create problems, destroy lives, happy marriages, and break hearts. They are more powerful than we know, reaching deep inside us and either lifting us up, or tearing us down. They can heal or they can hurt, so it becomes important to realize whose words you allow in and whose words you disregard.
I learned this lesson about 8 years ago when Nick and I were still dating, actually at this point we hadn't been dating long, only a couple of months. I had just moved back into my parent's house on Nick's advice at this point and was distancing myself from my roommate, on the advice of a word planted in my spirit one night as I had been speaking to her over the phone. The word that came to me was this "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."(1 Corinthians 13:11). When that word hit me I knew it was time to move past that relationship, and I told her so, but she wasn't happy about that. Shortly after that conversation I would talk to her again for the last time, and in the course of it we would start to argue over Nick, again.
My friend had always been the pretty one, the one getting all the attention from the guys while I stood in the background or played 'wing girl' and backed her up; talking her up to the interested prospect. That is until Nick. To be honest she did catch his eye first, and he when we first met he wasn't sure which one of us he really wanted to call him first, so he set his number on the counter at the store where he worked and asked us both to call. My friend was tickled, and I was flattered, though I believed I had no chance against her. Then we got in the car and she started plotting about using Nick to get another guy she liked by making him jealous, it made me sick. I said nothing though and let it go, wishing in my heart to be the one he would like instead but fully expecting to play background as she carelessly used, and hurt one man to get another.
The night of our final conversation, I brought this up to her. I brought up her plan to use him and asked why she cared at all that he didn't want to date her when she was really after someone else in the first place. Instead of answering me though she turned the tables, and told me something that I believe she thought would cause me to break up with Nick and continue my friendship with her instead. What she said was meant to cause doubt in Nick's loyalty, it was meant to hurt me, and for a time it did stick with me, even though I still chose him. That night she told me that he always hit on her and flirted with her whenever she came in the store and I wasn't there. She told me I couldn't trust him and that he wasn't really interested me, that he was going to cheat on me.
The moment she said it several things came to mind, first the number of times I had caught her in lies; second her deceitful nature when it came to obtaining what she wanted, and third a conversation I had had with Nick after she called him the first and only time; a conversation that she had known nothing about. In that conversation Nick had told me that my roommate had called him while I was at work, I wasn't surprised and asked him when they would be going out. I felt disappointed but I had expected this and did my best not to look upset. But he told me then that they would not be going out, that after just a few minutes on the phone with her that he knew he didn't like her and that he had actually kind of hoped it would be me who would call him. I was shocked to say the least, and then gave him my number stating that I didn't believe girls should call guys first, that I was old fashioned with my ideas of dating and courtship. As I thought of these two things and looked at my friend's character and actions overall, not just towards me but with people in general I let her go for good, and continued to pursue my relationship with Nick.
For the first two years though that seed of doubt she planted would periodically raise up making me feel insecure, making me question him, the things I saw, and the relationship we had. Before dating Nick the boyfriend I had cheated on me constantly, sometimes flaunting it to me and other times hiding it from me, which I found out about after we broke up. These hurts and her words were usually buried beneath the surface, caged away where I didn't have to deal with them but occasionally they would surface and I would find myself alone in my room at night crying my eyes out wondering if he really loved me or if I was just the fool again. Eventually Nick proposed to me and I confessed my hidden insecurity to him, which he quickly laid to rest. For two years I had let her words and my past circumstances cause me unnecessary heartache but it ended after I talked to Nick about it. I have never again doubted him, and learned from that just how much someone's words can affect you, how they can cause pain and strife when you should be experiencing joy. I can't always stop it but I learned from this not to give every person's words power in my life, instead I look at their character, are they honest? Do they cause drama often? Do they take joy from hurting others? Do they get upset and vindictive if they don't get their way?
Guard your heart in Abba my friends, abide in Jesus and use wisdom when deciding what to believe and what not too. Don't give power to the things that can hurt you, that will steal your joy when you know the source isn't reliable, remember the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and he will use whoever he can to do that. Be blessed my family, in Yeshua's name.
Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.
Proverbs 12:18
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Matthew 12:36-37
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
As I usually try to do I am speaking from experience here. Words can create problems, destroy lives, happy marriages, and break hearts. They are more powerful than we know, reaching deep inside us and either lifting us up, or tearing us down. They can heal or they can hurt, so it becomes important to realize whose words you allow in and whose words you disregard.
I learned this lesson about 8 years ago when Nick and I were still dating, actually at this point we hadn't been dating long, only a couple of months. I had just moved back into my parent's house on Nick's advice at this point and was distancing myself from my roommate, on the advice of a word planted in my spirit one night as I had been speaking to her over the phone. The word that came to me was this "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."(1 Corinthians 13:11). When that word hit me I knew it was time to move past that relationship, and I told her so, but she wasn't happy about that. Shortly after that conversation I would talk to her again for the last time, and in the course of it we would start to argue over Nick, again.
My friend had always been the pretty one, the one getting all the attention from the guys while I stood in the background or played 'wing girl' and backed her up; talking her up to the interested prospect. That is until Nick. To be honest she did catch his eye first, and he when we first met he wasn't sure which one of us he really wanted to call him first, so he set his number on the counter at the store where he worked and asked us both to call. My friend was tickled, and I was flattered, though I believed I had no chance against her. Then we got in the car and she started plotting about using Nick to get another guy she liked by making him jealous, it made me sick. I said nothing though and let it go, wishing in my heart to be the one he would like instead but fully expecting to play background as she carelessly used, and hurt one man to get another.
The night of our final conversation, I brought this up to her. I brought up her plan to use him and asked why she cared at all that he didn't want to date her when she was really after someone else in the first place. Instead of answering me though she turned the tables, and told me something that I believe she thought would cause me to break up with Nick and continue my friendship with her instead. What she said was meant to cause doubt in Nick's loyalty, it was meant to hurt me, and for a time it did stick with me, even though I still chose him. That night she told me that he always hit on her and flirted with her whenever she came in the store and I wasn't there. She told me I couldn't trust him and that he wasn't really interested me, that he was going to cheat on me.
The moment she said it several things came to mind, first the number of times I had caught her in lies; second her deceitful nature when it came to obtaining what she wanted, and third a conversation I had had with Nick after she called him the first and only time; a conversation that she had known nothing about. In that conversation Nick had told me that my roommate had called him while I was at work, I wasn't surprised and asked him when they would be going out. I felt disappointed but I had expected this and did my best not to look upset. But he told me then that they would not be going out, that after just a few minutes on the phone with her that he knew he didn't like her and that he had actually kind of hoped it would be me who would call him. I was shocked to say the least, and then gave him my number stating that I didn't believe girls should call guys first, that I was old fashioned with my ideas of dating and courtship. As I thought of these two things and looked at my friend's character and actions overall, not just towards me but with people in general I let her go for good, and continued to pursue my relationship with Nick.
For the first two years though that seed of doubt she planted would periodically raise up making me feel insecure, making me question him, the things I saw, and the relationship we had. Before dating Nick the boyfriend I had cheated on me constantly, sometimes flaunting it to me and other times hiding it from me, which I found out about after we broke up. These hurts and her words were usually buried beneath the surface, caged away where I didn't have to deal with them but occasionally they would surface and I would find myself alone in my room at night crying my eyes out wondering if he really loved me or if I was just the fool again. Eventually Nick proposed to me and I confessed my hidden insecurity to him, which he quickly laid to rest. For two years I had let her words and my past circumstances cause me unnecessary heartache but it ended after I talked to Nick about it. I have never again doubted him, and learned from that just how much someone's words can affect you, how they can cause pain and strife when you should be experiencing joy. I can't always stop it but I learned from this not to give every person's words power in my life, instead I look at their character, are they honest? Do they cause drama often? Do they take joy from hurting others? Do they get upset and vindictive if they don't get their way?
Guard your heart in Abba my friends, abide in Jesus and use wisdom when deciding what to believe and what not too. Don't give power to the things that can hurt you, that will steal your joy when you know the source isn't reliable, remember the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and he will use whoever he can to do that. Be blessed my family, in Yeshua's name.
Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.
Proverbs 12:18
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Matthew 12:36-37
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Friday, May 27, 2016
Husbands Love Your Wives
Yesterday I put up a post that was inspired from some discussions I have had recently and also a passage in Ephesians; the post was called "Wives Submit to Your Husbands" ( http://jennthorn.blogspot.com/2016/05/wives-submitt-to-your-husbands.html) where I talked some about my views on the wife's role in marriage and while I could have continued on that topic I am choosing today to address the husbands role. You cannot really discuss one without the other because the two topics are intertwined, but it was too lengthy do both in one post.
I believe, or at least in my experience, we most often hear the first part of this passage from Ephesians that I talked about yesterday, wives submitting to their husbands, but often people skip over the second, husbands loving their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). One part in particular that I like about this second part is that Paul addresses the fact that Jesus gave up His life for the church, this is the protection of the husband that I mentioned yesterday, husbands must love their wives, and really their family as well, to the point that they would be willing to give their own life. To me that is agape love, true and pure love, but there other ways in which Yeshua loves the church and the husband as the head should exemplify them in the he leads his wife and children, so let's look at some ways in which Christ leads.
Jesus is humble in his leadership, willing to serve those who serve Him, which can be seen in the washing of the disciples feet (John 13:1-17); this means a good husband should be willing to serve his family and also be humble in that service. I can honestly say this is one of the many things that I am grateful for with my husband, if I need help around the house he helps, and if I am sick he cares for me, and he does it without complaint because he loves me. This gives me reason to respect and honor him, and to do my best to please him in return.
Another thing we know about the leadership of Yeshua is that He is gentle. Does that mean He never gets firm or says anything harsh, no Jesus very much did, if you read some of His sermons there are definitely points where He lays down the hard facts, but it never comes from a place of rage or wrath. When Jesus speaks on those uncomfortable things, where He is calling sin sin and telling us that there is consequences for our wrong doings and that it is hell, He can sound harsh, in fact I have heard non-believers argue that those are not the words of a loving God, but the truth is those words come from His love for us and His desire for us to be righteous, His desire to spare us from hell. Likewise a godly husband should be gentle in his approach to his wife and children, his words and mannerisms should be loving and kind, but there will be times that a firm word is needed to keep the family on the path they have agreed to walk together. Even that firm word though should be spoken in love, not anger, but I know that is not always easy depending on what may have caused the need for that stern word to be spoken.
Something else I see in the leadership of Jesus over the church that I believe a godly husband needs to exemplify for his family is forgiveness and mercy. Often when I think of Yeshua and forgiveness I think of that beautiful scene during the crucifixion where Jesus says the thief next to Him, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43) This to me means a husband must be willing to forgive when he knows his wife is repentant, he should over look that past transgression and move forward in harmony and love. But notice I said 'repentant' because if you remember that scene from the bible there were two on crosses with Jesus and He only forgave one, the one whose heart was sorry and saw him for who He is, the son of God. Am I saying that a husband shouldn't forgive a wife or child who isn't repentant, no, the bible clearly states "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."(Matthew 6:14-15) What I am saying is that if they are not repentant moving forward in harmony and love is near impossible, this is one of those cases where the husband may need to state a stern word reminding the wife or child of the ways of righteousness.
Again, I could continue on pointing out more ways a husband could lead like Christ, virtues he should display as head of house and spiritual leader but I feel like this post too is getting a bit lengthy, so I'll try to wrap up now. Yesterday I said in the last paragraph of my post that marriage is a two way street, a partnership, a blending of two lives into one, and I truly believe that to be true, it is what I have seen in successfully marriages and noticed lacking in failed marriages. You need both parties to be willing to love, forgive, and serve each other in the difficult times and the easy. You need both to be willing to walk in humbleness, not nagging or overbearing the other, but being loving, willing to listen, and respect the others opinion. You need both parties to be willing to consistently earn the respect of the other and to keep their trust by being open. Marriage is truly a two way street and when done well, done in partnership and in the example of Christ and His church it is a beautiful thing. Be blessed my family.
Isaiah 62:5
For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.
1 Corinthians 11:12
For as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
I believe, or at least in my experience, we most often hear the first part of this passage from Ephesians that I talked about yesterday, wives submitting to their husbands, but often people skip over the second, husbands loving their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). One part in particular that I like about this second part is that Paul addresses the fact that Jesus gave up His life for the church, this is the protection of the husband that I mentioned yesterday, husbands must love their wives, and really their family as well, to the point that they would be willing to give their own life. To me that is agape love, true and pure love, but there other ways in which Yeshua loves the church and the husband as the head should exemplify them in the he leads his wife and children, so let's look at some ways in which Christ leads.
Jesus is humble in his leadership, willing to serve those who serve Him, which can be seen in the washing of the disciples feet (John 13:1-17); this means a good husband should be willing to serve his family and also be humble in that service. I can honestly say this is one of the many things that I am grateful for with my husband, if I need help around the house he helps, and if I am sick he cares for me, and he does it without complaint because he loves me. This gives me reason to respect and honor him, and to do my best to please him in return.
Another thing we know about the leadership of Yeshua is that He is gentle. Does that mean He never gets firm or says anything harsh, no Jesus very much did, if you read some of His sermons there are definitely points where He lays down the hard facts, but it never comes from a place of rage or wrath. When Jesus speaks on those uncomfortable things, where He is calling sin sin and telling us that there is consequences for our wrong doings and that it is hell, He can sound harsh, in fact I have heard non-believers argue that those are not the words of a loving God, but the truth is those words come from His love for us and His desire for us to be righteous, His desire to spare us from hell. Likewise a godly husband should be gentle in his approach to his wife and children, his words and mannerisms should be loving and kind, but there will be times that a firm word is needed to keep the family on the path they have agreed to walk together. Even that firm word though should be spoken in love, not anger, but I know that is not always easy depending on what may have caused the need for that stern word to be spoken.
Something else I see in the leadership of Jesus over the church that I believe a godly husband needs to exemplify for his family is forgiveness and mercy. Often when I think of Yeshua and forgiveness I think of that beautiful scene during the crucifixion where Jesus says the thief next to Him, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43) This to me means a husband must be willing to forgive when he knows his wife is repentant, he should over look that past transgression and move forward in harmony and love. But notice I said 'repentant' because if you remember that scene from the bible there were two on crosses with Jesus and He only forgave one, the one whose heart was sorry and saw him for who He is, the son of God. Am I saying that a husband shouldn't forgive a wife or child who isn't repentant, no, the bible clearly states "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."(Matthew 6:14-15) What I am saying is that if they are not repentant moving forward in harmony and love is near impossible, this is one of those cases where the husband may need to state a stern word reminding the wife or child of the ways of righteousness.
Again, I could continue on pointing out more ways a husband could lead like Christ, virtues he should display as head of house and spiritual leader but I feel like this post too is getting a bit lengthy, so I'll try to wrap up now. Yesterday I said in the last paragraph of my post that marriage is a two way street, a partnership, a blending of two lives into one, and I truly believe that to be true, it is what I have seen in successfully marriages and noticed lacking in failed marriages. You need both parties to be willing to love, forgive, and serve each other in the difficult times and the easy. You need both to be willing to walk in humbleness, not nagging or overbearing the other, but being loving, willing to listen, and respect the others opinion. You need both parties to be willing to consistently earn the respect of the other and to keep their trust by being open. Marriage is truly a two way street and when done well, done in partnership and in the example of Christ and His church it is a beautiful thing. Be blessed my family.
Isaiah 62:5
For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.
1 Corinthians 11:12
For as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Wives Submit to Your Husbands
When I am asked my views on marriage, feminism and the roles husbands and wives should take I often say "My views aren't popular, they upset a lot of people so unless you are really ready to hear them you probably shouldn't ask." I don't know if that is the right response but it is the one I give after having upset many women with my opinions. Between yesterday and today I have twice got into discussions where these topics came up, and I feel like maybe perhaps it's time I address this in my blog. I warn you my opinions are biblically based and also partly from what I have witnessed in relationships around me and what I see on television, in magazines, and books. If you don't like to hear 'wives submit to your husbands' (Ephesians 5:22-23) you may not want to read this post.
I will start by saying that there are some things that feminist stand for that I agree with, women can and should be able to work outside the home, wear pants, and be respected as a productive and contributing member of society. I agree that women in the work force should be paid equally to their male counter parts and be protected from sexual assault or harassment in the workplace. I agree that women in the years of childbearing should not fear discrimination from their employers because they are pregnant and should even have at very least 6 weeks paid leave, (but longer really would be better, studies have proven this in Europe.) But I do not agree with how many feminist make stay at home moms feel like less because they have chosen family over career. I do not agree with how many feminist try to raise the woman above the man, and how some choose to make Christianity into a sexist cult in their teachings. I do not agree with the stripping away of the male head of house and the demascilanization of our men going on today.
I am a firm believer that women should submit to their husbands, but I do not see that as being a slave, you are submitting to their protection, to their lead as head of house, but not without an opinion or say. Ephesians 5:22-23 says "22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." But in Genesis 2:24 and again in Mark 10:8 we are told that the two are one flesh, so just as the husband would not make a decision without first pondering over the issue so he should discuss it with his wife, which reminds me of a line from one of the Proverbs "there is wisdom in the counsel of many." because she does still in fact have her own voice, opinion and perspective. As one flesh she has become part of his decision making process, she is another voice to help look at the situation from all sides, but ULTIMATELY I believe it is his decision after having heard her voice and reasons, and that she must accept it whether she gets her way or not. This is one of those things that I say that upsets people.
I also believe in serving the husband first, before guest and before children, his needs are met, just as I would if Jesus were my spouse. I believe in respecting and serving my husband as I would the Lord, this comes from again the passage of Ephesians I shared above and also what I witnessed in my mother, and grandmothers. I will admit this isn't always easy though, sometimes I get mad at him and don't want to be kind to him, sometimes we disagree, but I found that showing him kindness instead of malice resolves the situation much faster. I also believe in focusing on my husbands good points rather than faults and if there is something that really is bugging me I take it to God first then to Nick, never to another woman or friend, this from experience, usually just ends in you feeling validated in being annoyed and angry at them and feeds even more into those feeling, eventually leading to you being totally unsatisfied in the relationship, where as talking to your spouse and God will instead lead to resolution.
I honestly have a lot more to say on this subject, I could and maybe someday will write a book on this, but I think I will end here for today and tomorrow address the husbands role in family and duties to his wife, because it truly is a two way street. Marriage is a partnership, a blending of two lives into one and it works best when both parties are aware of their roles and do their best in respect and love for each other to fulfill them. I know I am young, and have only been married a little while compared to some, so many will disregard what I say, and that's fine, that's your right, but truly I didn't come to this conclusion on a whim, but from studying the bible and other sources, watching others, watching the world and trends throughout history, and practice as well as failure. I hope you will make your conclusions in the same manner. Be blessed in the name of our Lord, Yeshua the Messiah.
Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Proverbs 19:14
House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Ephesians 5:33
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1 Peter 3:1-5
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
I will start by saying that there are some things that feminist stand for that I agree with, women can and should be able to work outside the home, wear pants, and be respected as a productive and contributing member of society. I agree that women in the work force should be paid equally to their male counter parts and be protected from sexual assault or harassment in the workplace. I agree that women in the years of childbearing should not fear discrimination from their employers because they are pregnant and should even have at very least 6 weeks paid leave, (but longer really would be better, studies have proven this in Europe.) But I do not agree with how many feminist make stay at home moms feel like less because they have chosen family over career. I do not agree with how many feminist try to raise the woman above the man, and how some choose to make Christianity into a sexist cult in their teachings. I do not agree with the stripping away of the male head of house and the demascilanization of our men going on today.
I am a firm believer that women should submit to their husbands, but I do not see that as being a slave, you are submitting to their protection, to their lead as head of house, but not without an opinion or say. Ephesians 5:22-23 says "22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." But in Genesis 2:24 and again in Mark 10:8 we are told that the two are one flesh, so just as the husband would not make a decision without first pondering over the issue so he should discuss it with his wife, which reminds me of a line from one of the Proverbs "there is wisdom in the counsel of many." because she does still in fact have her own voice, opinion and perspective. As one flesh she has become part of his decision making process, she is another voice to help look at the situation from all sides, but ULTIMATELY I believe it is his decision after having heard her voice and reasons, and that she must accept it whether she gets her way or not. This is one of those things that I say that upsets people.
I also believe in serving the husband first, before guest and before children, his needs are met, just as I would if Jesus were my spouse. I believe in respecting and serving my husband as I would the Lord, this comes from again the passage of Ephesians I shared above and also what I witnessed in my mother, and grandmothers. I will admit this isn't always easy though, sometimes I get mad at him and don't want to be kind to him, sometimes we disagree, but I found that showing him kindness instead of malice resolves the situation much faster. I also believe in focusing on my husbands good points rather than faults and if there is something that really is bugging me I take it to God first then to Nick, never to another woman or friend, this from experience, usually just ends in you feeling validated in being annoyed and angry at them and feeds even more into those feeling, eventually leading to you being totally unsatisfied in the relationship, where as talking to your spouse and God will instead lead to resolution.
I honestly have a lot more to say on this subject, I could and maybe someday will write a book on this, but I think I will end here for today and tomorrow address the husbands role in family and duties to his wife, because it truly is a two way street. Marriage is a partnership, a blending of two lives into one and it works best when both parties are aware of their roles and do their best in respect and love for each other to fulfill them. I know I am young, and have only been married a little while compared to some, so many will disregard what I say, and that's fine, that's your right, but truly I didn't come to this conclusion on a whim, but from studying the bible and other sources, watching others, watching the world and trends throughout history, and practice as well as failure. I hope you will make your conclusions in the same manner. Be blessed in the name of our Lord, Yeshua the Messiah.
Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Proverbs 19:14
House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Ephesians 5:33
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1 Peter 3:1-5
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Love When it's Tempting Not too
Sometimes in life people we knew or used to be friends with will grow cold or bitter towards us for reasons we don't know or understand. We have two choices in that circumstances, we can allow their behavior to harden our hearts against them as well or we can choose to love them despite their change in behavior towards us. This is something that I had been wrestling with for a while as a former co-worker and friend has stopped showing me any kindness or support over the last couple of years.
Sometime ago I was in a somewhat similar situation but in that case the difference was that I knew what I had done to hurt them and I repented of it to both this person and God. After time and seeing that I truly just wanted to rejoice that they were doing well and show compassion when they were not they forgave me and we have since been rebuilding and healing that situation. in this case I don't know and this person more or less pretends I don't exist, which is their choice and I won't hold that against them, I know there are people in my past who I'm happy to leave their too.
There have been have times recently, especially with expecting my son, that I wished, looked for, and was disappointed when I didn't see this person supporting me. I was hurt because I once thought we could be good friends, but I know now that isn't the case. I have debated keeping this person on my Facebook or cutting ties with them completely, and eventually I may do that, but at the moment I'm not ready, I still like to see they are doing well and that their children are growing, thriving and loving God.
Last night though, I'll be honest and say that the thought of cutting her off and being bitter towards her ran across my mind as she posted a picture of her sonogram, her third child. I saw it and a battled raged inside my heart, part of me was happy for her, as a sister in Christ I rejoiced in her joy just as we are instructed too(Romans 12:15), but there was another side of me, the mean, nasty, ugly side that got angry. That side said to cut her off, to not acknowledge her blessing, or be bitter over it because of how cold she has been towards me, but then another thought ran across my mind as I stared at that little life in the picture on the screen, "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." (Luke 6:27)
As those words sank into my heart, any bitterness that had rose up melted away and I simply rejoiced, even responding to her post. Showing her love and being kind to her despite how she may feel about me now may never change anything, and I'm okay with that, I understand that sometimes we need to leave people in the past for reasons we may not know how to express to them. I understand that she may not like me anymore and that's okay, but I can't let how she feels and treats me cause me to respond in bitterness and hate. Cutting someone off because they are bad for you, or leaving someone in the past because that relationship has run it's course is one thing but we should never allow hate or bitterness to be the reasons that we distance ourselves, in I John 4:20 he writes "If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." If we really love God, if really abide Him, hate has no place in our hearts, because God is love (1 John 4:8) and to be a Christian is to reborn in Christ's image who cannot hate because He is perfectly in the Father and the Father in Him.
Today brothers and sisters I hope you love those who hate you, love your enemies, despite the temptation to react like for like. I hope you rise above our carnal instincts and show kindness to those who it is tempting to harden our hearts towards. Walk righteously before God my family and let His example in Yeshua and the words he gave us through the apostles and prophets teach you to set malice aside and take up the easy burden of love. Be Blessed.
Matthew 5:43-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others
1 Peter 4:8-9
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
1 John 4:19-21
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Sometime ago I was in a somewhat similar situation but in that case the difference was that I knew what I had done to hurt them and I repented of it to both this person and God. After time and seeing that I truly just wanted to rejoice that they were doing well and show compassion when they were not they forgave me and we have since been rebuilding and healing that situation. in this case I don't know and this person more or less pretends I don't exist, which is their choice and I won't hold that against them, I know there are people in my past who I'm happy to leave their too.
There have been have times recently, especially with expecting my son, that I wished, looked for, and was disappointed when I didn't see this person supporting me. I was hurt because I once thought we could be good friends, but I know now that isn't the case. I have debated keeping this person on my Facebook or cutting ties with them completely, and eventually I may do that, but at the moment I'm not ready, I still like to see they are doing well and that their children are growing, thriving and loving God.
Last night though, I'll be honest and say that the thought of cutting her off and being bitter towards her ran across my mind as she posted a picture of her sonogram, her third child. I saw it and a battled raged inside my heart, part of me was happy for her, as a sister in Christ I rejoiced in her joy just as we are instructed too(Romans 12:15), but there was another side of me, the mean, nasty, ugly side that got angry. That side said to cut her off, to not acknowledge her blessing, or be bitter over it because of how cold she has been towards me, but then another thought ran across my mind as I stared at that little life in the picture on the screen, "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you." (Luke 6:27)
As those words sank into my heart, any bitterness that had rose up melted away and I simply rejoiced, even responding to her post. Showing her love and being kind to her despite how she may feel about me now may never change anything, and I'm okay with that, I understand that sometimes we need to leave people in the past for reasons we may not know how to express to them. I understand that she may not like me anymore and that's okay, but I can't let how she feels and treats me cause me to respond in bitterness and hate. Cutting someone off because they are bad for you, or leaving someone in the past because that relationship has run it's course is one thing but we should never allow hate or bitterness to be the reasons that we distance ourselves, in I John 4:20 he writes "If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." If we really love God, if really abide Him, hate has no place in our hearts, because God is love (1 John 4:8) and to be a Christian is to reborn in Christ's image who cannot hate because He is perfectly in the Father and the Father in Him.
Today brothers and sisters I hope you love those who hate you, love your enemies, despite the temptation to react like for like. I hope you rise above our carnal instincts and show kindness to those who it is tempting to harden our hearts towards. Walk righteously before God my family and let His example in Yeshua and the words he gave us through the apostles and prophets teach you to set malice aside and take up the easy burden of love. Be Blessed.
Matthew 5:43-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others
1 Peter 4:8-9
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
1 John 4:19-21
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Monday, May 23, 2016
God Can Use You
There was a time in my life where I never thought God would use me, that He could use me. I saw only the mistakes I had made and believed that I had nothing good to offer anyone. I believed that I had no purpose at all. I admired people who were helping others because it had always been my heart to do the same but I believed I was too broken to do anyone any good. I never would have believed then that today I would be writing an online devotional 5 days a week to encourage and uplift others. I never would have believed then that my dream of being a published writer could come true, and I never would have believed that I would have a happy marriage, beautiful little home, and a baby on the way, but with God all things are possible.
After I met my husband almost 8 years ago I suddenly had hope again at least for some of these things, I suddenly was able to believe again in the dream of having a family and happy marriage, but even then I never thought I would be writing again, I believed that dream was dead and buried in high school, so I stopped. I let it go and focused on what I knew I could do, childcare. And for a time it was fulfilling because I was helping some of these kids and theirs families, I was able to do something, be ever so small, to make them happy and feel secure. But there was always a part of me that still wanted to write, that still wanted to do more to help others and still wanted to be used by God, but I couldn't see how to make that happen.
Then a few months into my marriage my world came crashing down around me, my husband pulled away as the stresses we were facing caused him to pull into himself, and I was left all alone. This fed into the depression that I had been able to keep at bay for the previous 3 1/2 years, and led to the worst struggle with it of my entire life. Before seeking help I would be in tears everyday, suicidal, starting to have panic attacks again and nearly lose my job. But in that time as I fought to regain control of my life I would find God, and I would find my purpose.
I cannot honestly tell you how I found out about blogger.com, it was too long ago to remember now but when I started this it was because I had been encouraged by my therapist to get back to my writing and I thought this would be a good way to share my short stories, and excerpts from other writing projects that I was working on, but it didn't last long in that format. Soon my daily post were becoming more and more God centered as my life did too. And it was then that I suddenly realized that I had found my way to help others and serve God as more and more I had people telling me they could relate to what I wrote and that it was helping them. In this I found the fulfillment I had always been seeking, and at some points trying to forget that I needed.
I wrote this today because I know someone out there feels the same way I did, they feel so broken that they think they can never be fixed, or be of any use. They believe that life will never be good and they can never feel fulfilled, but I want you to know that it can. If you submit your life to the Lord in heaven and seek Him with your whole heart He will led you into purpose, fulfillment, and a life abundant in the good things of God. With God all things are possible and I can tell you both from reading my bible and living out the walk that I did that God loves to take the broken and make them new, He loves to have those who see themselves as weak led others to healing and salvation, He loves to restore and make better our broken dreams. God can use you to bless others, and in the process you will find your blessing too. Seek the Lord and grow in your love, wisdom, and knowledge my friends.
Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Isaiah 14:24
The Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Acts 26:16
But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you,
After I met my husband almost 8 years ago I suddenly had hope again at least for some of these things, I suddenly was able to believe again in the dream of having a family and happy marriage, but even then I never thought I would be writing again, I believed that dream was dead and buried in high school, so I stopped. I let it go and focused on what I knew I could do, childcare. And for a time it was fulfilling because I was helping some of these kids and theirs families, I was able to do something, be ever so small, to make them happy and feel secure. But there was always a part of me that still wanted to write, that still wanted to do more to help others and still wanted to be used by God, but I couldn't see how to make that happen.
Then a few months into my marriage my world came crashing down around me, my husband pulled away as the stresses we were facing caused him to pull into himself, and I was left all alone. This fed into the depression that I had been able to keep at bay for the previous 3 1/2 years, and led to the worst struggle with it of my entire life. Before seeking help I would be in tears everyday, suicidal, starting to have panic attacks again and nearly lose my job. But in that time as I fought to regain control of my life I would find God, and I would find my purpose.
I cannot honestly tell you how I found out about blogger.com, it was too long ago to remember now but when I started this it was because I had been encouraged by my therapist to get back to my writing and I thought this would be a good way to share my short stories, and excerpts from other writing projects that I was working on, but it didn't last long in that format. Soon my daily post were becoming more and more God centered as my life did too. And it was then that I suddenly realized that I had found my way to help others and serve God as more and more I had people telling me they could relate to what I wrote and that it was helping them. In this I found the fulfillment I had always been seeking, and at some points trying to forget that I needed.
I wrote this today because I know someone out there feels the same way I did, they feel so broken that they think they can never be fixed, or be of any use. They believe that life will never be good and they can never feel fulfilled, but I want you to know that it can. If you submit your life to the Lord in heaven and seek Him with your whole heart He will led you into purpose, fulfillment, and a life abundant in the good things of God. With God all things are possible and I can tell you both from reading my bible and living out the walk that I did that God loves to take the broken and make them new, He loves to have those who see themselves as weak led others to healing and salvation, He loves to restore and make better our broken dreams. God can use you to bless others, and in the process you will find your blessing too. Seek the Lord and grow in your love, wisdom, and knowledge my friends.
Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
Isaiah 14:24
The Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Acts 26:16
But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you,
Friday, May 20, 2016
A Promise Fullfilled
When God makes a promise to you it can be counted on, it may take years to come to pass, but it can be trusted. Around 4-5 years ago, shortly after Nick and I were married I had a strange dream that never left me and that I believed came from God. In that dream Nick was standing at the foot of our bed and behind him where our dresser should have been there was a light and stairs. In this dream Nick told me that God had just told him our first child would be a son, something that at that point neither of us was actually thinking about except in the distant future. I was shocked and the dream ended abruptly without anymore details or having a chance to respond, it was intense and I honestly wasn't sure until the next morning whether I had been asleep or awake and I only knew then because I asked Nick about it. I realize as I write this it sounds a little crazy, but it's true.
Not long after having that dream I caught baby fever, but Nick wasn't ready, it would take him longer to catch up fearing making the same mistakes as his father who had left when he was three, and then disappeared completely from his life before the age of 10. This desire of mine caused us lots of strife, we argued a bit, and I cried a lot, sometimes feeling like it was cruel of God to tell me I would have a son and then keep him from me. Often I would kneel on my bathroom floor calling out and crying to God about the hurt I felt in my heart over this situation, and always I heard the same word echo through my mind and heart, 'patient.' Over and over He instructed me to be patient, He would remind me of Sarah, of Hannah, and of Rachael, and after striving and struggling for a little while longer I finally listened.
When I finally did as the Lord said things turned around and Nick and I finally got on the same page, we were finally able to come to an agreement and started planning our family. As we would talk about our future children I kept that dream close to my heart and would sometimes bring it up, but my husband, ever the doubting Thomas, would say to me "I never get what I want the first time around, I'm sure we'll have a girl first." And I would just smile and say, "okay baby," still believing it would be a boy.
Then in early February, shortly after my 28th birthday we got the positive test. I was on cloud nine! I knelt down on my floor crying and praising God, thanking Him and rejoicing that I would finally be a mother. My heart sang His praises as tears of joy rushed down my face, and still I believed I had my son, I believed God had fulfilled His promise to me. As we have progressed through the pregnancy I have never stopped believing, hoping, or reminding God of that dream, but Nick would keep cautioning me that it could still be a girl and that I could be wrong, so I did my best to play it cool and neutral, but the longer I was pregnant the more certain I became it was a boy.
Yesterday was finally the day we had been waiting for, the sonogram where we would be able to see the sex of the baby and I was beyond excited on our way there. I knew I was having a boy but I wanted to see it on the screen, I wanted to have that confirmation for myself and Nick and I kept praying we would be able to see that the baby would allow us to get a good picture that we could tell from. Still on the way there, Nick said he would not be surprised if it was girl, that it was what he expected even though he really wanted a son, I just smiled.
In the office anticipation killed me as they did the measurements and took shot after shot of the baby without me being able to see anything except Nick's reaction to how our little guy wiggled, and played inside me. I could tell he was amazed at how much the baby moved. Then finally they turned the screen toward me and the gentleman doing the sonogram started explaining what was on the screen, going through each part of the body, head, tummy, arms, spine, and so on until we came to the legs and his very visible little penis! I rejoiced, and Nick's eyes watered as he looked at his son!
Today I couldn't be happier, more grateful, or more confident in my God. It was a struggle to be honest to hold onto that promise at times, it was hard to believe in some moments that I would be a mother at all, let alone have a son when many 'predicted' I would have a girl first. But I trusted God over man, over my circumstances, over my fears and over my moments of doubt. I was obedient and waited patiently when others encouraged me to take matters into my own hands and trick my husband when he wasn't ready. I relied on God to fulfill what He had promised in a dream nearly 5 years ago, and because of that He kept His word to me, I have my heart's desire, a son. Today I encourage you my family in Christ to be obedient and hold onto the promises of God, remind Him and yourself of them often, show God you are willing to do it His way and be obedient while you wait for it to pass. Let no one talk you into disregarding it or going outside God to make it happen, trust Him and hold on in faith. Be blessed today always in Yeshua's name.
Numbers 23:19
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?
Deuteronomy 7:9
Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,
2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him
Not long after having that dream I caught baby fever, but Nick wasn't ready, it would take him longer to catch up fearing making the same mistakes as his father who had left when he was three, and then disappeared completely from his life before the age of 10. This desire of mine caused us lots of strife, we argued a bit, and I cried a lot, sometimes feeling like it was cruel of God to tell me I would have a son and then keep him from me. Often I would kneel on my bathroom floor calling out and crying to God about the hurt I felt in my heart over this situation, and always I heard the same word echo through my mind and heart, 'patient.' Over and over He instructed me to be patient, He would remind me of Sarah, of Hannah, and of Rachael, and after striving and struggling for a little while longer I finally listened.
When I finally did as the Lord said things turned around and Nick and I finally got on the same page, we were finally able to come to an agreement and started planning our family. As we would talk about our future children I kept that dream close to my heart and would sometimes bring it up, but my husband, ever the doubting Thomas, would say to me "I never get what I want the first time around, I'm sure we'll have a girl first." And I would just smile and say, "okay baby," still believing it would be a boy.
Then in early February, shortly after my 28th birthday we got the positive test. I was on cloud nine! I knelt down on my floor crying and praising God, thanking Him and rejoicing that I would finally be a mother. My heart sang His praises as tears of joy rushed down my face, and still I believed I had my son, I believed God had fulfilled His promise to me. As we have progressed through the pregnancy I have never stopped believing, hoping, or reminding God of that dream, but Nick would keep cautioning me that it could still be a girl and that I could be wrong, so I did my best to play it cool and neutral, but the longer I was pregnant the more certain I became it was a boy.
Yesterday was finally the day we had been waiting for, the sonogram where we would be able to see the sex of the baby and I was beyond excited on our way there. I knew I was having a boy but I wanted to see it on the screen, I wanted to have that confirmation for myself and Nick and I kept praying we would be able to see that the baby would allow us to get a good picture that we could tell from. Still on the way there, Nick said he would not be surprised if it was girl, that it was what he expected even though he really wanted a son, I just smiled.
In the office anticipation killed me as they did the measurements and took shot after shot of the baby without me being able to see anything except Nick's reaction to how our little guy wiggled, and played inside me. I could tell he was amazed at how much the baby moved. Then finally they turned the screen toward me and the gentleman doing the sonogram started explaining what was on the screen, going through each part of the body, head, tummy, arms, spine, and so on until we came to the legs and his very visible little penis! I rejoiced, and Nick's eyes watered as he looked at his son!
Today I couldn't be happier, more grateful, or more confident in my God. It was a struggle to be honest to hold onto that promise at times, it was hard to believe in some moments that I would be a mother at all, let alone have a son when many 'predicted' I would have a girl first. But I trusted God over man, over my circumstances, over my fears and over my moments of doubt. I was obedient and waited patiently when others encouraged me to take matters into my own hands and trick my husband when he wasn't ready. I relied on God to fulfill what He had promised in a dream nearly 5 years ago, and because of that He kept His word to me, I have my heart's desire, a son. Today I encourage you my family in Christ to be obedient and hold onto the promises of God, remind Him and yourself of them often, show God you are willing to do it His way and be obedient while you wait for it to pass. Let no one talk you into disregarding it or going outside God to make it happen, trust Him and hold on in faith. Be blessed today always in Yeshua's name.
Numbers 23:19
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?
Deuteronomy 7:9
Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,
2 Thessalonians 3:3
But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him
Thursday, May 19, 2016
A Close Call and Lesson Learned
On my way into work today I had a post I wanted to write, I had a subject I wanted to talk about. I thought and prayed about it for a good portion of my 45 minute drive, but in the last 10 minutes of the drive it was completely wiped from my mind when a SUV suddenly shifted lanes in front of me and nearly hit the front end of my car. I work outside of Pittsburgh, so to be honest this is something I deal with pretty regularly but it never ceases to upset me, and this mornings incident was a closer than some of the others because when I had to slam on my brakes to avoid the accident so did the car tailgating me, thank the good Lord we both had good brakes and there was no accident.
My instincts in this situation were to honk my horn, yell, scream, and use that ugly middle finger, something I haven't done in years actually come to think about it. I was angry, or maybe furious is a better word with the car that had done this, and to be totally honest I did curse in the second it happened, something I'm not really proud of. After that I raged in my car the rest of the way into work completely forgetting about what I had wanted to say today, which further frustrated me.
Then I opened up my Google+ app and the first thing I saw was a word I had heard earlier this morning while driving and in better spirits, "A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire." Proverbs 15:1. Typically when I read this I think of people having an argument, in fact I try to remember this when I am angry with my husband so we can talk calmly and avoid an argument ( I won't give you my batting average on this because it's a bit disappointing, I'm working on it though); but today I saw this incident and thought about how my reaction could have been different.
I didn't give this guy the middle finger, I didn't scream out my windows at him, and I didn't lay into the horn like I wanted but I still did curse and allowed my temper to flare, but what would have happened if I had responded in gratitude instead? A paragraph or so above I thanked God that the guy behind me and myself both had good brakes, which enabled us to avoid having a collision, but what if I had thanked God then? This is what came to me as I read that proverb this morning, and it convicted my heart.
Regardless of the fact that what this person did was dangerous and put more than myself and my unborn child in a bad position, I still could have responded in gratitude and maybe avoided spending the last 10 minutes of my drive fuming over something I had no power to change. I could have chosen to instead be grateful that no one was hurt, that we were able to avoid an accident and that everyone was still able to get to work or home in one piece. I could have let gratitude to God fill my heart, and let the whole thing roll off my back, because like I said it's pretty common in this morning rush hour traffic.
Today I saw for the first time how a different response than cursing at the car in front of me when this happens could have changed my morning, could have stopped me from pulling into work annoyed or angry as I so often do. I saw how I can now do better and be better in this area of my life, how I can tame my tongue and tame my emotions too. I hope today brothers and sisters that if something upsets you, that you will do better than I did. I hope that you will pause and realize 'well it could have been worse' and respond with gratitude that it wasn't worse. Be blessed my family in Christ.
Proverbs 14:29
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
Proverbs 19:11
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Colossians 3:7-8
In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
James 1:19-20
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
My instincts in this situation were to honk my horn, yell, scream, and use that ugly middle finger, something I haven't done in years actually come to think about it. I was angry, or maybe furious is a better word with the car that had done this, and to be totally honest I did curse in the second it happened, something I'm not really proud of. After that I raged in my car the rest of the way into work completely forgetting about what I had wanted to say today, which further frustrated me.
Then I opened up my Google+ app and the first thing I saw was a word I had heard earlier this morning while driving and in better spirits, "A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire." Proverbs 15:1. Typically when I read this I think of people having an argument, in fact I try to remember this when I am angry with my husband so we can talk calmly and avoid an argument ( I won't give you my batting average on this because it's a bit disappointing, I'm working on it though); but today I saw this incident and thought about how my reaction could have been different.
I didn't give this guy the middle finger, I didn't scream out my windows at him, and I didn't lay into the horn like I wanted but I still did curse and allowed my temper to flare, but what would have happened if I had responded in gratitude instead? A paragraph or so above I thanked God that the guy behind me and myself both had good brakes, which enabled us to avoid having a collision, but what if I had thanked God then? This is what came to me as I read that proverb this morning, and it convicted my heart.
Regardless of the fact that what this person did was dangerous and put more than myself and my unborn child in a bad position, I still could have responded in gratitude and maybe avoided spending the last 10 minutes of my drive fuming over something I had no power to change. I could have chosen to instead be grateful that no one was hurt, that we were able to avoid an accident and that everyone was still able to get to work or home in one piece. I could have let gratitude to God fill my heart, and let the whole thing roll off my back, because like I said it's pretty common in this morning rush hour traffic.
Today I saw for the first time how a different response than cursing at the car in front of me when this happens could have changed my morning, could have stopped me from pulling into work annoyed or angry as I so often do. I saw how I can now do better and be better in this area of my life, how I can tame my tongue and tame my emotions too. I hope today brothers and sisters that if something upsets you, that you will do better than I did. I hope that you will pause and realize 'well it could have been worse' and respond with gratitude that it wasn't worse. Be blessed my family in Christ.
Proverbs 14:29
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
Proverbs 19:11
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Colossians 3:7-8
In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
James 1:19-20
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships
This morning I've been thinking and talking a lot about the influence others can have on us. How our friends can influence and pressure us into situations, and often just by who they are they can lead us either closer to God or further from. This is a lesson I learned the hard way and since then I have been weary of making close friends; if I am to be perfectly honest. I have tried to make friends and always seem to end up with the same results, the same kind of person, even if on the surface they appear totally different.
I won't say I'm totally friendless though because the truth is I have a couple very good friends, one that lives locally and we talk often, but we aren't usually able to get together because of busy schedules and well, just life as adults. But it is always nice when we can because we were best friends from about 12 years old-18, when I screwed things up, thankfully she has forgiven me and we are moving on. The other really good friend I have is a woman older than me who lives in another state, we used to talk everyday but in recent months she and I haven't talked as much, though we are both always there when the other needs us, which to me is true friendship. Both of these friendships are good for me, they feed me emotionally, help to keep me stable and thinking clearly, they support me in my marriage, and my relationship with God, and I try to reciprocate these things for them. They are the kind of friendships I truly desire, but not every friendship I have had has been like that, most have not in fact, and I've learned to careful who I allow close because of that.
The friendships that have not been good have all had one major similarity in them though they did it in different ways, manipulation. This is something that I am learning from these experiences to recognize early on and separate myself from as quickly as possible. The first serious situation I was in with a person who manipulated me was what screwed up my friendship with the other person in the first place. I will not say it was all her fault though, I will take accountability for the fact that I made those wrong choices and allowed it to happen. I could have at anytime put a stop to it, but I wanted so desperately to be liked by this creative, talented, exciting person that I allowed her to dictate my life, monopolize my time, convince to lower my moral standards and influence me to see my parents as oppressors rather than the caring, loving people they are. In this friendship I stayed friends with her for 6 years eventually moving in with her and her boyfriend. By the end of this relationship I saw myself in the mirror one day and knew I needed to get out of the relationship and change, I could literally see in my reflection through my eyes that I was killing my soul, and it made me sick.
The next friendship came about against my own better judgment. I knew this person was drama and trouble, and wouldn't be good for me, I wanted to keep her at arms length and just be co-workers, but I also wanted to be kind and show her love. Within a very short period of time though she started telling people I was her best friend, had her children calling me "aunty" and promising to make me their godmother. Suddenly I felt trapped and didn't know how to get out of the situation without causing problems at work. Looking back I should have said something, I should have spoken up and stopped it, but I didn't want to hurt her, or again cause problems so I went along with it until I couldn't handle it anymore. Everyday she was calling me, needing advice, money, help with rides, groceries, kids, and making me feel guilty or getting upset with me whenever I said no. Soon it became apparent that this relationship was taking a toll on my marriage as well as there was tension between her and my husband and it was at this point I decided it needed to end. This friendship lasted just a little over a year.
The last and most recent attempt at friendship has been much shorter, just a couple of months. At first we really hit it off and I thought that maybe I had finally found a semi-local friend who was on the same page as me spiritually. We did a few things together and for the most part I enjoyed the time we spent together. We didn't agree on all our spiritual beliefs but I know that everyone is different and was willing to accept her as she was if she was willing to accept me as I am. This was not the case though. As soon as I started telling her 'no' to certain things her attitude changed, suddenly I was being lectured on the love of Christ and made to feel guilty about not doing what she wanted. I tried after that to explain myself and my personality to her hoping that if she understood me better that we could work through things more easily, but she took it as me setting up guidelines, and the relationship became even harder. I tried to talk to her a few more times, and tried to make arrangements to see her again, which never worked out and I take accountability for that because both times it was my fault, once because of my grandfather's death and the second because of car trouble. Even then though I desired to make it work, but as I spent time in prayer and talked things over with my husband I realized this probably wasn't a good idea, the guilt trips would only continue, not get better if I persisted in this relationship so I let it go.
Why did I share all this? Well because I wanted to show the differences in healthy friendships and unhealthy friendships. Healthy relationships build you up, they are supportive of the things that are important to you and will strengthen other relationships in your life. But an unhealthy relationship will cause strife, anxiety, and in some cases like the friend that I lived with, draw you away from God. Often these kinds of friendships will use manipulation to get what they want and they will not take accountability for their side of things when it gets tough, they will lay the blame squarely at your feet and expect you to change to suit them. These are not the kind of relationships God wants us to have, in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 we see what a loving relationship is and this doesn't only apply to marriage, though weddings are where we hear it most commonly, this is the kind of relationship we should strive to have with everyone. We, as Christians should do our best with the help of the Holy spirit to exemplify these traits and look for friends and partners who do too. When we live by this and have friendships or relationships that look like this passage we will find peace in our spirit and in our lives, we will find joy and feel loved. I hope today if you are in bad relationship this has helped you to find the courage to get out, or if you are the cause of a bad relationship that you have been convicted to change, be blessed brothers and sisters and walk in love.
Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins
I won't say I'm totally friendless though because the truth is I have a couple very good friends, one that lives locally and we talk often, but we aren't usually able to get together because of busy schedules and well, just life as adults. But it is always nice when we can because we were best friends from about 12 years old-18, when I screwed things up, thankfully she has forgiven me and we are moving on. The other really good friend I have is a woman older than me who lives in another state, we used to talk everyday but in recent months she and I haven't talked as much, though we are both always there when the other needs us, which to me is true friendship. Both of these friendships are good for me, they feed me emotionally, help to keep me stable and thinking clearly, they support me in my marriage, and my relationship with God, and I try to reciprocate these things for them. They are the kind of friendships I truly desire, but not every friendship I have had has been like that, most have not in fact, and I've learned to careful who I allow close because of that.
The friendships that have not been good have all had one major similarity in them though they did it in different ways, manipulation. This is something that I am learning from these experiences to recognize early on and separate myself from as quickly as possible. The first serious situation I was in with a person who manipulated me was what screwed up my friendship with the other person in the first place. I will not say it was all her fault though, I will take accountability for the fact that I made those wrong choices and allowed it to happen. I could have at anytime put a stop to it, but I wanted so desperately to be liked by this creative, talented, exciting person that I allowed her to dictate my life, monopolize my time, convince to lower my moral standards and influence me to see my parents as oppressors rather than the caring, loving people they are. In this friendship I stayed friends with her for 6 years eventually moving in with her and her boyfriend. By the end of this relationship I saw myself in the mirror one day and knew I needed to get out of the relationship and change, I could literally see in my reflection through my eyes that I was killing my soul, and it made me sick.
The next friendship came about against my own better judgment. I knew this person was drama and trouble, and wouldn't be good for me, I wanted to keep her at arms length and just be co-workers, but I also wanted to be kind and show her love. Within a very short period of time though she started telling people I was her best friend, had her children calling me "aunty" and promising to make me their godmother. Suddenly I felt trapped and didn't know how to get out of the situation without causing problems at work. Looking back I should have said something, I should have spoken up and stopped it, but I didn't want to hurt her, or again cause problems so I went along with it until I couldn't handle it anymore. Everyday she was calling me, needing advice, money, help with rides, groceries, kids, and making me feel guilty or getting upset with me whenever I said no. Soon it became apparent that this relationship was taking a toll on my marriage as well as there was tension between her and my husband and it was at this point I decided it needed to end. This friendship lasted just a little over a year.
The last and most recent attempt at friendship has been much shorter, just a couple of months. At first we really hit it off and I thought that maybe I had finally found a semi-local friend who was on the same page as me spiritually. We did a few things together and for the most part I enjoyed the time we spent together. We didn't agree on all our spiritual beliefs but I know that everyone is different and was willing to accept her as she was if she was willing to accept me as I am. This was not the case though. As soon as I started telling her 'no' to certain things her attitude changed, suddenly I was being lectured on the love of Christ and made to feel guilty about not doing what she wanted. I tried after that to explain myself and my personality to her hoping that if she understood me better that we could work through things more easily, but she took it as me setting up guidelines, and the relationship became even harder. I tried to talk to her a few more times, and tried to make arrangements to see her again, which never worked out and I take accountability for that because both times it was my fault, once because of my grandfather's death and the second because of car trouble. Even then though I desired to make it work, but as I spent time in prayer and talked things over with my husband I realized this probably wasn't a good idea, the guilt trips would only continue, not get better if I persisted in this relationship so I let it go.
Why did I share all this? Well because I wanted to show the differences in healthy friendships and unhealthy friendships. Healthy relationships build you up, they are supportive of the things that are important to you and will strengthen other relationships in your life. But an unhealthy relationship will cause strife, anxiety, and in some cases like the friend that I lived with, draw you away from God. Often these kinds of friendships will use manipulation to get what they want and they will not take accountability for their side of things when it gets tough, they will lay the blame squarely at your feet and expect you to change to suit them. These are not the kind of relationships God wants us to have, in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 we see what a loving relationship is and this doesn't only apply to marriage, though weddings are where we hear it most commonly, this is the kind of relationship we should strive to have with everyone. We, as Christians should do our best with the help of the Holy spirit to exemplify these traits and look for friends and partners who do too. When we live by this and have friendships or relationships that look like this passage we will find peace in our spirit and in our lives, we will find joy and feel loved. I hope today if you are in bad relationship this has helped you to find the courage to get out, or if you are the cause of a bad relationship that you have been convicted to change, be blessed brothers and sisters and walk in love.
Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
My Will or His
I love when the inspiration for a post comes from someone asking a question, which is exactly how this one came about. Yesterday I was asked 'How do you know it's God will and not your own subconscious?" Which honestly is a question I've asked myself before many times because as this person pointed out it is easy to deceive ourselves. In the past I wrote a post called "Where there is Peace" (http://jennthorn.blogspot.com/2015/09/where-there-is-peace.html) where I talked about how my husband and I had to make a difficult decision that we just weren't getting anywhere with until we realized that when you are making a decision about action to take there is peace in your soul when it is in God's will, this has since been the major way in which we decide things, we look for the peace but it's not the only method we have or do use.
Another way is the simplest, most clear, and probably the rarest of all the ways I have used to make a decision, a clear audible word from God, but that has only happened a couple of times, more often than not I will instead get a deep urging in my heart or soul that I need to do something. Typically when it happens this way that something is not something I want to do, it is against my flesh nature, or outside my comfort zone, for example one day at church I felt I had to get up and say something, a word that had been planted in my spirit during service. I am introverted to the extreme, I actually took a test when I was in therapy that scored me as 90% introverted, standing up before the congregation and delivering this word was terrifying. But once I did there was peace in my spirit, despite my hammering heart.
The other way I tend to use a lot is asking three or four others to pray for an answer to that particular problem as well, I do not tell them my hopes, or what I may be feeling God is leading me too because then I could not be sure that this was confirmation. Instead I wait to hear back from them, and compare their answers to mine, whether it's scriptures, dreams, or a word; whichever is the majority consensus is typically what I go with, unless it leaves me no peace, but to be honest that has never happened and only once did I receive answers that conflicted with each other, in that case consensus ruled and I'm happy with the outcome.
The last way we use quite often is to compare the situation to scripture. What does the word actually say on this subject, because I know that if I am acting in accordance with His word I am in His will. This is another scenario where I am always left with peace and confidence in the action I take. Even if I cannot find my exact situation, I can usually find guidance for it, or a story/parable that gives me some clarity to help me decide.
I hope this helps anyone else who was asking that same question as this other person, I hope it sheds some light on helping you to find God's will in your own life. I'm sure to some it stills leave room to doubt, but there always will be those with faith and doubting Thomas'. I'm sure there are more ways to know, but for me these are the tools I have been equipped with thus far on my journey and what I found to work for me. If you know of other ways please share, I would love to hear them!! For now, be blessed my brothers and sisters.
Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.
Isaiah 55:8-12
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands
Matthew 7:8
Another way is the simplest, most clear, and probably the rarest of all the ways I have used to make a decision, a clear audible word from God, but that has only happened a couple of times, more often than not I will instead get a deep urging in my heart or soul that I need to do something. Typically when it happens this way that something is not something I want to do, it is against my flesh nature, or outside my comfort zone, for example one day at church I felt I had to get up and say something, a word that had been planted in my spirit during service. I am introverted to the extreme, I actually took a test when I was in therapy that scored me as 90% introverted, standing up before the congregation and delivering this word was terrifying. But once I did there was peace in my spirit, despite my hammering heart.
The other way I tend to use a lot is asking three or four others to pray for an answer to that particular problem as well, I do not tell them my hopes, or what I may be feeling God is leading me too because then I could not be sure that this was confirmation. Instead I wait to hear back from them, and compare their answers to mine, whether it's scriptures, dreams, or a word; whichever is the majority consensus is typically what I go with, unless it leaves me no peace, but to be honest that has never happened and only once did I receive answers that conflicted with each other, in that case consensus ruled and I'm happy with the outcome.
The last way we use quite often is to compare the situation to scripture. What does the word actually say on this subject, because I know that if I am acting in accordance with His word I am in His will. This is another scenario where I am always left with peace and confidence in the action I take. Even if I cannot find my exact situation, I can usually find guidance for it, or a story/parable that gives me some clarity to help me decide.
I hope this helps anyone else who was asking that same question as this other person, I hope it sheds some light on helping you to find God's will in your own life. I'm sure to some it stills leave room to doubt, but there always will be those with faith and doubting Thomas'. I'm sure there are more ways to know, but for me these are the tools I have been equipped with thus far on my journey and what I found to work for me. If you know of other ways please share, I would love to hear them!! For now, be blessed my brothers and sisters.
Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.
Isaiah 55:8-12
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands
Matthew 7:8
For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.
Monday, May 16, 2016
Submitting the Flesh to the Spirit
I often read the post of others to get new perspective and to hear other's testimony's and experiences with God, to learn, and to be encouraged. One brother whose post I read often has recently been talking a bit about our survival instinct, that thought that rises up in all of us going "what can I do? how I will I survive?" and how that thought pattern in our flesh is contrary to the spirit. As those walking in the spirit our thoughts should be "God I don't understand but if this is what you want I will obey." I will admit, especially with the circumstances I have been going through these last few months, that this was a hard pill to swallow at first.
When I first read that in one of his post I was like 'wow, that's a bit hard to do, survival and self-preservation are built into us, it's natural,' and I tried to dismiss it, tried to justify our natural reactions. But as I did that it only made me see how right he really was. As I drove to and from work talking to God about it and many other things and spent time meditating on what this person said as well as my own reactions I realized any time I 'respond naturally' or from instinct it's usually the wrong response. For example, when someone makes me angry my natural responses tell me to hit them, or to yell at them but the Godly course of action is different, the bible teaches us to be slow to anger (James 1:19) and to take these offenses and feelings to our Father so He can help us to come up with a better response. When I saw this it was like the light came on.
I realized after spending several days working through my pride and flesh to get to this point that he was right, our natural instincts are fleshly, they are carnal in nature, but God is not, He is spirit (John 4:24) and we should be walking in that Spirit being obedient to it. Our flesh and instincts will lead us time and time again into the wrong actions such as lust, and wrath, or selfishness and cold-heartedness. Our instincts are 'me first' by nature and it takes practice, patience and a spirit willing to submit to God to overcome that. Our instincts are all about our own comfort and our own survival but God tells us not to fear and to trust Him, He tells us in the bible and through the example of the early apostles that our bodies can be broken and may be broken for Him but that our reward will be in the spirit and new kingdom to come.
As I thought on all this, especially this morning, my heart opened up to the truth and I desired for God to help me become more obedient to the Spirit, and less in tune with my flesh. I desired to be a better person thinking less often of my own comfort and more of others. Today I ask His help to further crucify my flesh so that the Holy Spirit can shine brighter through me, I ask you to give thought to your own behaviors, are you operating from the flesh or from the Spirit? Take time and talk about this with God, ask Him to help you grow spiritual and to kill the flesh. Be Blessed my friends, today and everyday, in Yeshua's name.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Luke 1:38
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
Romans 8:7
For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.
Romans 12:1-2
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
When I first read that in one of his post I was like 'wow, that's a bit hard to do, survival and self-preservation are built into us, it's natural,' and I tried to dismiss it, tried to justify our natural reactions. But as I did that it only made me see how right he really was. As I drove to and from work talking to God about it and many other things and spent time meditating on what this person said as well as my own reactions I realized any time I 'respond naturally' or from instinct it's usually the wrong response. For example, when someone makes me angry my natural responses tell me to hit them, or to yell at them but the Godly course of action is different, the bible teaches us to be slow to anger (James 1:19) and to take these offenses and feelings to our Father so He can help us to come up with a better response. When I saw this it was like the light came on.
I realized after spending several days working through my pride and flesh to get to this point that he was right, our natural instincts are fleshly, they are carnal in nature, but God is not, He is spirit (John 4:24) and we should be walking in that Spirit being obedient to it. Our flesh and instincts will lead us time and time again into the wrong actions such as lust, and wrath, or selfishness and cold-heartedness. Our instincts are 'me first' by nature and it takes practice, patience and a spirit willing to submit to God to overcome that. Our instincts are all about our own comfort and our own survival but God tells us not to fear and to trust Him, He tells us in the bible and through the example of the early apostles that our bodies can be broken and may be broken for Him but that our reward will be in the spirit and new kingdom to come.
As I thought on all this, especially this morning, my heart opened up to the truth and I desired for God to help me become more obedient to the Spirit, and less in tune with my flesh. I desired to be a better person thinking less often of my own comfort and more of others. Today I ask His help to further crucify my flesh so that the Holy Spirit can shine brighter through me, I ask you to give thought to your own behaviors, are you operating from the flesh or from the Spirit? Take time and talk about this with God, ask Him to help you grow spiritual and to kill the flesh. Be Blessed my friends, today and everyday, in Yeshua's name.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Luke 1:38
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
Romans 8:7
For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.
Romans 12:1-2
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Friday, May 13, 2016
Borrowed Faith
When I was young I lived on borrowed faith, what is borrowed faith exactly? It's faith that you receive from a parent, grandparent or pastor. It's faith where you actually know only what's been told to you and you have no relationship of your own, except maybe just the occasional prayer when things are really bad. It's faith where you say you believe but you don't really have an answer of why, except maybe that's what your parents believe. But you can't really know the Lord on borrowed faith, we must all form our own relationships with Him. Just because your parent's brought you up in church, or your spouse is devote, or your friend talks to you about Jesus, that doesn't constitute faith, it's not a replacement for the relationship God wants you to have with Him.
If you are living on borrowed faith and anything like me this message not only stings but it offends, it hurts you and angers you and the reason is that you don't want to admit that in your heart you already know that this is true. God wants our hearts, He wants us fully, He wants our commitment, and borrowed faith is not commitment, it's lip service at best. It's the easy route, it's claiming faith and living without the responsibility or obligation of living up to what is required of you. It's saying 'yes I believe' and throwing up some "amens" and "hallelujahs" just to prove it, but its only surface deep, your heart isn't really there because you don't really know God and can't really love Him.
As I stated above I used to live on borrowed faith, I thought I was a Christian just because I believed in God, though you probably wouldn't have guessed it by the lifestyle I was living. I started smoking cigarettes and drinking at age 12, I swore like a sailor by 15 and started abusing pain pills, I began reading erotic novels at 12 and filled my mind with smut, ghost stories, and thrasher flicks, all the while claiming faith and lying to those around me to protect my sinful lifestyle. I believed that I was safe, that I was a Christian because I had been raised to believe in God, because I had prayed the sinners pray, and because I knew my grandmothers were praying for me. I didn't feel the need to read my bible or to even really pray often, and justified that behavior because God already knew what I needed. I figured that praying was a waste of time and I left it mostly to my grandmothers, they would pray for me, and they would tell me things about God so that's all I really needed right?
Wrong, I was very wrong. 4, almost 5 years ago now I stopped living on borrowed faith. My world fell a part and looking to pastors, my grandmothers, or even my parents for their faith could no longer keep me afloat. I had a decision then, I could get to know God myself and take the hand He was offering to me, I could submit my life to Him and start living His way, or I could let the depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts consume me until I could not escape them. Borrowed faith can only take you so far, once real trouble comes you need a very real relationship with Him in order to endure it, and that is what I learned the hard way. I learned that those rare moments I took to really pray and be in His presence were what God really desired form me, I learned that He wanted my love and for my life to show that love in all aspects of it. I got in my bible and finally learned who God was and that healing came through not only reading His word and standing on His promises but by living out the scriptures. I learned that in Jesus we have forgiveness but we still had to change, we can't have both sin and God. And my life has only gotten better since then.
Today brothers and sisters I ask that if you are living on borrowed faith that you make the decision to take hold of the hand He is offering you. Commit your life to God and forsake the world, live in gratefulness for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and know that when you do you open the door for to work miracles in your life and for God to completely transform you. Be blessed today and always my friends, in Yeshua's name.
Psalm 84:11
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly
Jeremiah 31:3
The Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you
John 15:5
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
James 4:8
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If you are living on borrowed faith and anything like me this message not only stings but it offends, it hurts you and angers you and the reason is that you don't want to admit that in your heart you already know that this is true. God wants our hearts, He wants us fully, He wants our commitment, and borrowed faith is not commitment, it's lip service at best. It's the easy route, it's claiming faith and living without the responsibility or obligation of living up to what is required of you. It's saying 'yes I believe' and throwing up some "amens" and "hallelujahs" just to prove it, but its only surface deep, your heart isn't really there because you don't really know God and can't really love Him.
As I stated above I used to live on borrowed faith, I thought I was a Christian just because I believed in God, though you probably wouldn't have guessed it by the lifestyle I was living. I started smoking cigarettes and drinking at age 12, I swore like a sailor by 15 and started abusing pain pills, I began reading erotic novels at 12 and filled my mind with smut, ghost stories, and thrasher flicks, all the while claiming faith and lying to those around me to protect my sinful lifestyle. I believed that I was safe, that I was a Christian because I had been raised to believe in God, because I had prayed the sinners pray, and because I knew my grandmothers were praying for me. I didn't feel the need to read my bible or to even really pray often, and justified that behavior because God already knew what I needed. I figured that praying was a waste of time and I left it mostly to my grandmothers, they would pray for me, and they would tell me things about God so that's all I really needed right?
Wrong, I was very wrong. 4, almost 5 years ago now I stopped living on borrowed faith. My world fell a part and looking to pastors, my grandmothers, or even my parents for their faith could no longer keep me afloat. I had a decision then, I could get to know God myself and take the hand He was offering to me, I could submit my life to Him and start living His way, or I could let the depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts consume me until I could not escape them. Borrowed faith can only take you so far, once real trouble comes you need a very real relationship with Him in order to endure it, and that is what I learned the hard way. I learned that those rare moments I took to really pray and be in His presence were what God really desired form me, I learned that He wanted my love and for my life to show that love in all aspects of it. I got in my bible and finally learned who God was and that healing came through not only reading His word and standing on His promises but by living out the scriptures. I learned that in Jesus we have forgiveness but we still had to change, we can't have both sin and God. And my life has only gotten better since then.
Today brothers and sisters I ask that if you are living on borrowed faith that you make the decision to take hold of the hand He is offering you. Commit your life to God and forsake the world, live in gratefulness for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and know that when you do you open the door for to work miracles in your life and for God to completely transform you. Be blessed today and always my friends, in Yeshua's name.
Psalm 84:11
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly
Jeremiah 31:3
The Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you
John 15:5
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
James 4:8
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Confidence and Peace in God
This morning I am at home because my employers took all three children to the doctors so I got to sleep in and I am happy, rested and at peace, a combination I haven't felt in a while. As I sit in my living room typing to the quiet ticking of the clock and the occasional neighing of a horse, I am grateful my job ends in a few weeks. I'll miss the children a ton, after 2 1/2 years you grow very attached, but I know I need more rest then I have been getting and the peace here in the small town where we live is just the ticket. To be honest ever since we moved here I would leave for work everyday feeling like I should stay at home, that I was supposed to be here and not traveling almost an hour away for work, but I didn't know how to make that happen and honestly I still don't know how it'll work, I'm just trusting God to provide the answers I need.
It hasn't been easy not knowing how things will work out, I'm a creature who likes plans, and control but sitting here this morning feeling rested for the first time in months and enjoying the quiet as my husband sleeps before works tells me it'll all be worth it. I'm sure we will struggle in many ways, a new routine always comes with an adjustment period, and being unsure of where the money to pay the bills will come from will make that adjustment even more difficult, but I know my God is a God of miracles, and He has promised to provide for me as He provides for the sparrows so I'm trusting in that, I'm trusting in Him.
I have confidence that things will work out as they should and that we will be happy, I have peace in my soul that God is working it all out and that despite what things look like we will be okay, we will manage. I have had many people say they are praying for us and many give great suggestions that I'm positive will help us, and I'm believing the things we need will continue to show up as they have been. I believe that a job or source of income will come through just in time, and I'm hoping the little things my husband and I are trying to get off the ground will help with that.
I know that in the natural it seems like I should be scared, worried and stressed out but I just can't be, I know my God and have seen His hand at work in my life too many times to doubt Him now. There are of course nay-sayers and doubters around me, people who look at what's going on and only see everything that can go wrong for us, they see the circumstances and don't think things will ever get better for us, or that we will ever rebound, or even make it all but I pay them no attention, I have a promise and I stand on that, letting their words roll off my back.
I'm not really sure how to end my rant of positivity today, I could honestly go on and on about how good Jehovah is, and how much I trust Him and how happy I am at this time in my life that should be stressful, but I've run out of time. So, I'll just end with be blessed and have faith, have hope and let God's peace surround you.
Isaiah 12:2
“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”
Isaiah 26:3
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
2 Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.
It hasn't been easy not knowing how things will work out, I'm a creature who likes plans, and control but sitting here this morning feeling rested for the first time in months and enjoying the quiet as my husband sleeps before works tells me it'll all be worth it. I'm sure we will struggle in many ways, a new routine always comes with an adjustment period, and being unsure of where the money to pay the bills will come from will make that adjustment even more difficult, but I know my God is a God of miracles, and He has promised to provide for me as He provides for the sparrows so I'm trusting in that, I'm trusting in Him.
I have confidence that things will work out as they should and that we will be happy, I have peace in my soul that God is working it all out and that despite what things look like we will be okay, we will manage. I have had many people say they are praying for us and many give great suggestions that I'm positive will help us, and I'm believing the things we need will continue to show up as they have been. I believe that a job or source of income will come through just in time, and I'm hoping the little things my husband and I are trying to get off the ground will help with that.
I know that in the natural it seems like I should be scared, worried and stressed out but I just can't be, I know my God and have seen His hand at work in my life too many times to doubt Him now. There are of course nay-sayers and doubters around me, people who look at what's going on and only see everything that can go wrong for us, they see the circumstances and don't think things will ever get better for us, or that we will ever rebound, or even make it all but I pay them no attention, I have a promise and I stand on that, letting their words roll off my back.
I'm not really sure how to end my rant of positivity today, I could honestly go on and on about how good Jehovah is, and how much I trust Him and how happy I am at this time in my life that should be stressful, but I've run out of time. So, I'll just end with be blessed and have faith, have hope and let God's peace surround you.
Isaiah 12:2
“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”
Isaiah 26:3
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
2 Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
See Christ in Them
Typically I pray for people to see Christ in me, that with the help of the Holy Spirit I can be a good light to those around me, but yesterday a friend put up a prayer that really got me thinking. In the prayer was a line that asked God to help us to see Christ in others. As I read that I thought about a book I read early in my marriage, called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, at one point he asks us to do the same with our spouse, to see Jesus in them and serve them like we would Jesus. This really motivated me to serve my husband, to love and respect him as I should, even when I didn't want too (not that I don't struggle with that still at times but this book and thought process really helped). Today I am wondering how different my service to others would look if I took that attitude with everyone. If I treated everyone with the same kind of service that I would give Jesus?
I can say for sure that I would probably serve a lot more, and with a lot less complaining if I took that attitude with everyone, if I saw Yeshua in everyone and treated them with the kind of respect I would give God. And I know that's true because as I said it changed my marriage to treat my husband that way, and it actually made me a lot happier at work when I took on the attitude that no matter what or where I was working I was working for God. I became happier in my service, I became more honest and I tried harder to please. I have gone above and beyond and all because I work for and want to please my God, so how much more will I do when I start seeing the Lord in those around me?
I know it won't always be easy, some people make it difficult to love them, but as I start today I start it with a heart and mind that wants to serve others as I would serve my God if He were standing before me. Today I make the decision to not only pray that others see God's light in me and that I can serve them as if I see Jesus in them, but to try my best to live that out. Today I make the conscious decision to love others as God has loved me and go above and beyond in that, just like I would for the God who gave His only son so that I may have life. Be Blessed brothers and sisters, in Yeshua's name.
Matthew 5:44-48
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 25:34-40
Philippians 2:4
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others
Colossians 3:14
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
1 John 4:7-8
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
I can say for sure that I would probably serve a lot more, and with a lot less complaining if I took that attitude with everyone, if I saw Yeshua in everyone and treated them with the kind of respect I would give God. And I know that's true because as I said it changed my marriage to treat my husband that way, and it actually made me a lot happier at work when I took on the attitude that no matter what or where I was working I was working for God. I became happier in my service, I became more honest and I tried harder to please. I have gone above and beyond and all because I work for and want to please my God, so how much more will I do when I start seeing the Lord in those around me?
I know it won't always be easy, some people make it difficult to love them, but as I start today I start it with a heart and mind that wants to serve others as I would serve my God if He were standing before me. Today I make the decision to not only pray that others see God's light in me and that I can serve them as if I see Jesus in them, but to try my best to live that out. Today I make the conscious decision to love others as God has loved me and go above and beyond in that, just like I would for the God who gave His only son so that I may have life. Be Blessed brothers and sisters, in Yeshua's name.
Matthew 5:44-48
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 25:34-40
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Philippians 2:4
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others
Colossians 3:14
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
1 John 4:7-8
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Obedience isn't Always Easy
Yesterday's post came about completely against my own plans or intent. To be honest I had no desire, inspiration, or will to write when I got up yesterday. I actually had intended to only re-post old blogs if I posted at all this week. I was and am still tired and frankly just wanted to rest, but something inside said that I needed to write so I began, and at first I didn't know what to write. I tried a few things but nothing felt right, then all the sudden that post flowed from my finger tips without me having to put a whole lot of thought into it, it was like it wrote itself. And now today I am glad I obeyed that urging despite what I felt like and despite what I wanted because several people told me that it encouraged them.
This brought about a realization I have had before, and that honestly I'm still often failing at and struggling with, God isn't always going to put us in places we want to be, He isn't always going to ask us to do things we feel like doing, but honoring Him means that we are to be obedient anyway. For proof of that statement we really only need to look at Moses who tried to get out of being Israel's leader and gave God a bunch of excuses (Exodus 4:1-17), or Jonah who didn't want to go to Nineveh and tried to run away (Book of Jonah), and even Jesus in Gethsemane asked if the cup could be passed (Matthew 26:39). Not everything God asks us to do is going to be what we want, and it's then we need the Holy Spirit's help to put our flesh into submission and do as we should.
But I know it isn't always easy, I know our feelings and desires can really challenge us and make us want to turn away from what was asked, just like Jonah did. Like I said I struggle with this myself, sometimes it's something simple like giving someone a message that you feel God pressing on your heart for them, but the fear of seeming or sounding crazy stops you. Sometimes it's being told to give someone something you wanted or still want like money, food, or maybe some sort of possession, or even your time, or it maybe something like what I am facing. A year ago someone told me that God wanted me to get involved with some kind of homeschooling thing, they didn't have much detail, just those words. And this year someone asked me to be involved in a homeschooling project, my gut reaction both times was and is still 'yuck.' I have no heart or desire for this at all, and honestly I don't think I can work with the person who is doing it, so I have tried to find ways to talk myself out of this being God's will for me, but if I'm really really honest with you and me, I haven't prayed to ask either. I'm too afraid that this is the opportunity I was told about and I just don't want it.
In this situation I can see where I am failing God, I am not being obedient and I'm disappointed in myself. I realize now I NEED to pray about this. I need to ask Him if this is even the opportunity He had planned for me in the first place and what I need to do to go forward if it is. I need to walk in the way He directs even if it isn't what I want. I don't know why He wants me to do this or when or with who. I don't know who may be blessed by the work, who needs the teachings that the program would provide or even what they would be, but I know I can no longer neglect it, I need to start getting His direction and walking in obedience with it, whether I like it or not. Brothers and sisters, please know that obedience to God is important to our walk, and God isn't always going to keep us in our comfort zones, or ask us to do things we like, sometimes in order to grow us He will lead us into places we don't want to be, or into situations that are difficult for us, but we must be willing we must obey. Be blessed today and always my family, in Jesus name.
Isaiah 1:19
If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;
Jeremiah 7:23
But this command I gave them: ‘Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people. And walk in all the way that I command you, that it may be well with you.’
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God
Ephesians 2:10
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
This brought about a realization I have had before, and that honestly I'm still often failing at and struggling with, God isn't always going to put us in places we want to be, He isn't always going to ask us to do things we feel like doing, but honoring Him means that we are to be obedient anyway. For proof of that statement we really only need to look at Moses who tried to get out of being Israel's leader and gave God a bunch of excuses (Exodus 4:1-17), or Jonah who didn't want to go to Nineveh and tried to run away (Book of Jonah), and even Jesus in Gethsemane asked if the cup could be passed (Matthew 26:39). Not everything God asks us to do is going to be what we want, and it's then we need the Holy Spirit's help to put our flesh into submission and do as we should.
But I know it isn't always easy, I know our feelings and desires can really challenge us and make us want to turn away from what was asked, just like Jonah did. Like I said I struggle with this myself, sometimes it's something simple like giving someone a message that you feel God pressing on your heart for them, but the fear of seeming or sounding crazy stops you. Sometimes it's being told to give someone something you wanted or still want like money, food, or maybe some sort of possession, or even your time, or it maybe something like what I am facing. A year ago someone told me that God wanted me to get involved with some kind of homeschooling thing, they didn't have much detail, just those words. And this year someone asked me to be involved in a homeschooling project, my gut reaction both times was and is still 'yuck.' I have no heart or desire for this at all, and honestly I don't think I can work with the person who is doing it, so I have tried to find ways to talk myself out of this being God's will for me, but if I'm really really honest with you and me, I haven't prayed to ask either. I'm too afraid that this is the opportunity I was told about and I just don't want it.
In this situation I can see where I am failing God, I am not being obedient and I'm disappointed in myself. I realize now I NEED to pray about this. I need to ask Him if this is even the opportunity He had planned for me in the first place and what I need to do to go forward if it is. I need to walk in the way He directs even if it isn't what I want. I don't know why He wants me to do this or when or with who. I don't know who may be blessed by the work, who needs the teachings that the program would provide or even what they would be, but I know I can no longer neglect it, I need to start getting His direction and walking in obedience with it, whether I like it or not. Brothers and sisters, please know that obedience to God is important to our walk, and God isn't always going to keep us in our comfort zones, or ask us to do things we like, sometimes in order to grow us He will lead us into places we don't want to be, or into situations that are difficult for us, but we must be willing we must obey. Be blessed today and always my family, in Jesus name.
Isaiah 1:19
If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;
Jeremiah 7:23
But this command I gave them: ‘Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people. And walk in all the way that I command you, that it may be well with you.’
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God
Ephesians 2:10
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Monday, May 9, 2016
No More Fear
In five weeks I'll be unemployed for the second time in my adult life. I'm looking for work opportunities, like free lance writing, work from home customer service opportunities, babysitting jobs where it won't be a problem to have them at my home or bring my baby to their home when the baby comes and I'm even considering doing speaking engagements for churches, woman's groups, or small conferences, if I can figure out how to get those opportunities going. And although I currently have nothing, oddly I'm not worried or stressed. I was a few weeks ago but now I just have confidence that Abba will provide for me. He gave me a word at the start of this season and I knew then that this whole transition would be about learning to trust His provision, and honestly it scared me at first, for weeks I went back and forth between fear and trust, but not anymore.
Over, and over through this whole thing I have seen provision made when I put down my worries and just stood on the word He gave me from Matthew. Over and over God has used the Holy Spirit to remind Nick and myself of His promise, if He provides for the birds He will provide for us too (Matthew 6:26), and we are walking in that promise, trusting our Father together. Which honestly, is a miracle in itself, because we have both struggled in the past with trusting God completely when it came to provision of this magnitude. But God is not failing us, He is keeping His word and we are grateful to see His grace and provision, grateful for this chance to go deeper in our relationships with Him.
And going deeper is exactly what is happening. As we progress through this season of life I am seeing so many changes in my husband and myself. A new strength to our faith and a deeper love growing in each of us toward each other and towards our Heavenly Father. We are coming to a deeper and more intimate place as we lay down worry and hold onto Jesus, a place I can't quite yet put into words, but it's a place of peace, a place of trust, a place of hope and a place where we do not feel bogged down by worrying but feel confident despite what the circumstances look like at the moment.
For a while now I have understood that where there is peace there is God, and this feeling I have during this crazy season of my life tells me that my Lord is in the midst of it with me, and because of that understanding I cannot fear. As I write that I am reminded of a verse from probably one of the most commonly known Psalms, one that I can very much relate to at the moment, Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." I have realized recently that though fear is quite natural in the flesh as new creations in Christ, with new hearts and new spirits (Ezekiel 36:26; 2 Corinthians 5:17; John 3:3; Romans 6:4), it is no longer natural to us, we have the choice to fear or to trust, and the strength to overcome the temptation of fear. And today I encourage you to enter that place, the place where your flesh wants to fear but your spirit is stronger and you choose to hold onto the savior tighter than your worry. I encourage you to let the peace of the Holy Spirit over take you so that you too can witness miracles as God works on your behalf. Be blessed now and always, in Yeshua's name.
Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Psalm 112:7
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
Mark 5:36
But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe.”
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope
Over, and over through this whole thing I have seen provision made when I put down my worries and just stood on the word He gave me from Matthew. Over and over God has used the Holy Spirit to remind Nick and myself of His promise, if He provides for the birds He will provide for us too (Matthew 6:26), and we are walking in that promise, trusting our Father together. Which honestly, is a miracle in itself, because we have both struggled in the past with trusting God completely when it came to provision of this magnitude. But God is not failing us, He is keeping His word and we are grateful to see His grace and provision, grateful for this chance to go deeper in our relationships with Him.
And going deeper is exactly what is happening. As we progress through this season of life I am seeing so many changes in my husband and myself. A new strength to our faith and a deeper love growing in each of us toward each other and towards our Heavenly Father. We are coming to a deeper and more intimate place as we lay down worry and hold onto Jesus, a place I can't quite yet put into words, but it's a place of peace, a place of trust, a place of hope and a place where we do not feel bogged down by worrying but feel confident despite what the circumstances look like at the moment.
For a while now I have understood that where there is peace there is God, and this feeling I have during this crazy season of my life tells me that my Lord is in the midst of it with me, and because of that understanding I cannot fear. As I write that I am reminded of a verse from probably one of the most commonly known Psalms, one that I can very much relate to at the moment, Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." I have realized recently that though fear is quite natural in the flesh as new creations in Christ, with new hearts and new spirits (Ezekiel 36:26; 2 Corinthians 5:17; John 3:3; Romans 6:4), it is no longer natural to us, we have the choice to fear or to trust, and the strength to overcome the temptation of fear. And today I encourage you to enter that place, the place where your flesh wants to fear but your spirit is stronger and you choose to hold onto the savior tighter than your worry. I encourage you to let the peace of the Holy Spirit over take you so that you too can witness miracles as God works on your behalf. Be blessed now and always, in Yeshua's name.
Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Psalm 112:7
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
Mark 5:36
But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe.”
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Driving thru Fear
Yesterday I had a scary experience on the Pennsylvania turnpike as I was driving home from work. To many this scary experience would be nothing, but for me it was a big deal because I have always been terrified of spiders. We're talking running away in terror and screaming for someone to kill it scared. And to make matters even worse this week the speed limit on the turnpike was raised which means cars are driving even faster than they normally do, for some reason now that the speed limit is 70 people feel they have the license to go 90, which made this whole experience a lot more scary.
I had barely been on the turnpike 10 minutes, and things were going fine, I was listening to my favorite Christian radio station, singing along to the music and in a pretty good mood, happy to be going home after a long day at work. Then suddenly I saw the eight legged creep walking across my dashboard. My instinct was to scream, I started to loose focus on my driving and hyper focused on the one inch nightmarish creature that was in my car and all the time walking closer to me. I struggled to focus on the road and my driving while my mind raced about what I could do to get rid of the spider.
This internal battle continued for several minutes, my eyes darting back and forth from my eight legged tormentor and the road ahead of me, panic continued to rise in my chest, and soon I found that my driving was being adversely impacted by the distraction, scaring me even more because ever since I was a teenager I had this horrible idea that I would be in a car accident while pregnant, and it has sat in my mind and lately come up more and more. Typically I am a cautious driver, but this spider really had me out of myself, it really had me distracted and scared. But somehow despite the spider and that terrible thought of being in an accident, something rose up inside me, a strength I didn't know I possessed took over. I said no to fear and no to losing focus, I made the decision then to not allow that idea to win and become real, somehow I found the strength to say no to focusing on my fear.
I have no explanation for where this sudden strength came from except that it was the Holy Spirit nudging me to the truth that I had the choice to react, I had the choice to say no to these fears. The bible tell us in 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." And this truth came over me yesterday as I disciplined my self and forced myself to focus on where I was going instead of the fears that plagued my mind at the moment. Obviously, I made it home safe and sound after that revelation and as I thought about those events and the scripture I shared above I realized how this situation was a great analogy for what I have been experiencing in my current life situations as well. Things keep popping up to make me scared, like this morning a text from my bank saying my checking account was below $50 after all my recent bill payments had been taken out, or finding out that job or no job the 10th of June is my last day with the family I work for. But in each situation I refuse to let fear win, I just keep saying 'Father I know you will provide, you haven't failed me yet and I refuse to give into fear and worry.'
Today I share this in the hope that it will encourage you to say no to fear too. That you can see yourself in the story I shared and know that the strength to stand up to your fears and say no is in you already. That the Holy Spirit that dwells within you is there, and that thru the sacrifice of Jesus we have nothing left to fear, fear and death are conquered, nailed to the cross, and we are overcomers. Be blessed and be strong in the Lord, today and always.
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid.
Hebrews 2:14-15
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.
I had barely been on the turnpike 10 minutes, and things were going fine, I was listening to my favorite Christian radio station, singing along to the music and in a pretty good mood, happy to be going home after a long day at work. Then suddenly I saw the eight legged creep walking across my dashboard. My instinct was to scream, I started to loose focus on my driving and hyper focused on the one inch nightmarish creature that was in my car and all the time walking closer to me. I struggled to focus on the road and my driving while my mind raced about what I could do to get rid of the spider.
This internal battle continued for several minutes, my eyes darting back and forth from my eight legged tormentor and the road ahead of me, panic continued to rise in my chest, and soon I found that my driving was being adversely impacted by the distraction, scaring me even more because ever since I was a teenager I had this horrible idea that I would be in a car accident while pregnant, and it has sat in my mind and lately come up more and more. Typically I am a cautious driver, but this spider really had me out of myself, it really had me distracted and scared. But somehow despite the spider and that terrible thought of being in an accident, something rose up inside me, a strength I didn't know I possessed took over. I said no to fear and no to losing focus, I made the decision then to not allow that idea to win and become real, somehow I found the strength to say no to focusing on my fear.
I have no explanation for where this sudden strength came from except that it was the Holy Spirit nudging me to the truth that I had the choice to react, I had the choice to say no to these fears. The bible tell us in 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." And this truth came over me yesterday as I disciplined my self and forced myself to focus on where I was going instead of the fears that plagued my mind at the moment. Obviously, I made it home safe and sound after that revelation and as I thought about those events and the scripture I shared above I realized how this situation was a great analogy for what I have been experiencing in my current life situations as well. Things keep popping up to make me scared, like this morning a text from my bank saying my checking account was below $50 after all my recent bill payments had been taken out, or finding out that job or no job the 10th of June is my last day with the family I work for. But in each situation I refuse to let fear win, I just keep saying 'Father I know you will provide, you haven't failed me yet and I refuse to give into fear and worry.'
Today I share this in the hope that it will encourage you to say no to fear too. That you can see yourself in the story I shared and know that the strength to stand up to your fears and say no is in you already. That the Holy Spirit that dwells within you is there, and that thru the sacrifice of Jesus we have nothing left to fear, fear and death are conquered, nailed to the cross, and we are overcomers. Be blessed and be strong in the Lord, today and always.
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid.
Hebrews 2:14-15
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Spiritual Growth During Uncertainty
This season of my life has been intense, and at times scary, but also blessed beyond anything I can imagine. I have seen great leaps of faith in both my husband and myself, changes to our characters and new strengths and reliance on God as He never fails to provide for our needs. As many of you may recall, shortly after finding out we were expecting our first baby my husband and I ran into trouble finding healthcare for the pregnancy, car troubles with both our vehicles, and the devastating news that my employment with my current family would be ending. With all this uncertainty, and bills just mounting, especially after an ER visit that my husband had, we were terrified and had no idea how we would manage. We feared losing our cars, our home, and that everything was about to be lost, that we were trapped in a downward spiral.
But God had given me a word for this season and when I clung too tightly to my fear He used my husband to remind me of it (http://jennthorn.blogspot.com/2016/03/turning-my-focus-to-truth.html). That became a turning point for us, not that the hits haven't kept coming, because they have, this week we found out I had less time than we had anticipated at my job, it'll be ending June 10th, and before that my grandfather passed away causing us both a lot of heart ache, and of course there have been issues at Nick's job, and issues with some of my family, but in it we are seeing how God is growing our faith and trust in Him.
The events this week so far have been a great example of that. At first when I had come home Monday and told my husband that I had about 6 weeks left at my job he was upset as I had expected, but strangely I had not been. I, for some reason I don't even understand, felt relieved and very comfortable with the idea that my job was ending. Maybe it's because of all the fatigue I have had during the pregnancy and I know I will now be able to get more rest, or maybe it's because at least with a date that takes away a little of the uncertainty, or maybe I've just learned to say 'okay, God will work this out,' whatever the reason there has been peace in my soul about this change. To be quite honest though, I totally expected my husband to go into panic mode and stay there, I totally expected to have to daily talk him through this and declare faith, I totally expected him to melt down and sulk, in the last almost 8 years that we have been together it's just what I have come to expect from him. But that isn't what happened. After his initial anger he shared with me last night how when he had started to worry during the day the word I had received from Matthew came to him and he was able to let go.
This dramatic change in his character shocked me, to hear him say those words, and to see that he confidently and sincerely believed it left me stunned and grateful. Reflecting on that I thought of Paul's words at Romans 5:3-5 which says 'Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.' These last few months have had a lot of suffering for us, a lot of fear and uncertainty, but as we go through each situation we have seen God providing for us. We have been promised assistance from my dad, we had a repair done on one of our cars free of charge, we found a doctor who will work with us financially, I have an interview tomorrow for a work from home job, and even if it doesn't work out, we are confident that we will manage with God's help, fear has lost it's power over us.
Today I wanted to share this testimony and encourage anyone struggling to fight the good fight of faith. Keep pushing on and speaking faith, dive into the word to find your comfort and strength to go on, believe in God's provisions and let go of fear and doubt. God did not bring you this far to abandon you, He has promised to never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8; Hebrews 13:5) and God cannot lie (Numbers 23:19; Titus 1:2) so we know we can trust Him. Trust in His provision my friends, trust in His promises and you will see the abundance of God's blessings in your life. Today and always be blessed in Jesus name.
Psalm 37:4-6
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Mark 5:36
But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe."
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
But God had given me a word for this season and when I clung too tightly to my fear He used my husband to remind me of it (http://jennthorn.blogspot.com/2016/03/turning-my-focus-to-truth.html). That became a turning point for us, not that the hits haven't kept coming, because they have, this week we found out I had less time than we had anticipated at my job, it'll be ending June 10th, and before that my grandfather passed away causing us both a lot of heart ache, and of course there have been issues at Nick's job, and issues with some of my family, but in it we are seeing how God is growing our faith and trust in Him.
The events this week so far have been a great example of that. At first when I had come home Monday and told my husband that I had about 6 weeks left at my job he was upset as I had expected, but strangely I had not been. I, for some reason I don't even understand, felt relieved and very comfortable with the idea that my job was ending. Maybe it's because of all the fatigue I have had during the pregnancy and I know I will now be able to get more rest, or maybe it's because at least with a date that takes away a little of the uncertainty, or maybe I've just learned to say 'okay, God will work this out,' whatever the reason there has been peace in my soul about this change. To be quite honest though, I totally expected my husband to go into panic mode and stay there, I totally expected to have to daily talk him through this and declare faith, I totally expected him to melt down and sulk, in the last almost 8 years that we have been together it's just what I have come to expect from him. But that isn't what happened. After his initial anger he shared with me last night how when he had started to worry during the day the word I had received from Matthew came to him and he was able to let go.
This dramatic change in his character shocked me, to hear him say those words, and to see that he confidently and sincerely believed it left me stunned and grateful. Reflecting on that I thought of Paul's words at Romans 5:3-5 which says 'Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.' These last few months have had a lot of suffering for us, a lot of fear and uncertainty, but as we go through each situation we have seen God providing for us. We have been promised assistance from my dad, we had a repair done on one of our cars free of charge, we found a doctor who will work with us financially, I have an interview tomorrow for a work from home job, and even if it doesn't work out, we are confident that we will manage with God's help, fear has lost it's power over us.
Today I wanted to share this testimony and encourage anyone struggling to fight the good fight of faith. Keep pushing on and speaking faith, dive into the word to find your comfort and strength to go on, believe in God's provisions and let go of fear and doubt. God did not bring you this far to abandon you, He has promised to never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8; Hebrews 13:5) and God cannot lie (Numbers 23:19; Titus 1:2) so we know we can trust Him. Trust in His provision my friends, trust in His promises and you will see the abundance of God's blessings in your life. Today and always be blessed in Jesus name.
Psalm 37:4-6
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Mark 5:36
But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe."
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
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