Change of Heart

     I used to love the color yellow as a child, and I loved smiley faces even better! I remember my mom asking me why I liked yellow so much, and I couldn't explain it then, granted I was five, but the point is I just knew I liked it. When I got older though it changed. As depression set in during my early teen years I didn't like yellow or smiley faces anymore, I didn't like anything that wasn't as dark as I felt inside.
     I know that may just seem on the surface as a'well of course your taste changed you grew up' kind of thing, but it's really not the case. See as an adult, smiley faces and yellow are now at the top of my list again! See, I didn't grow out of yellow and smiley faces because I grew up, but because I grew sad.
     When I was depressed and unhappy I was attracted to dark and depressing things, and if you asked me then what my favorite colors were I would have told you black, red, and purple. I surrounded myself in a world of sadness,  because that's the way I felt. Happiness at that time in my life made me angry. I hated seeing people happy, it pissed me off, because I wasn't anymore and I didn't know how to be either.
     It's taken time, and work but I am happy again, and I realized as I was texting my boss this morning, and looking back through my old text messages to her that I use smiley faces EVERYWHERE again. I text them all the time, I put them on my status updates, I put them in my morning notes to my husband, in my diary, and I've been tempted to put them in my blogs! As my heart changed and I started to feel joy again I wanted spread it, so my smiley faces came back. And now so is yellow.
     Time can change your heart if you let it. But it's up to you to decide just how much. I let time and circumstances to beat me in the past, to steal my joy and love of life, but now I know I want to be happy and I am willing to do what it takes to be happy. I can honestly say that despite everything going on in my life I am the happiest I have been since I was a child. And it may not always be that way, the devil is in the world and he wants to still our joy, and oh boy does he try! But right now I am happy, truly in my soul happy and content. I know it because everywhere I go I want to leave a smile, just like when I was little. :)
      This morning while writing this I took a moment to thank God for you reading this, I thought about you and hoped happiness could reach your soul. God loves you, and so do I. I want you to be happy and know how blessed you are. Darkness is out there, and it can break a person, but it doesn't have too.  There is light in the world, let it into your heart.

2 Corithians 4:6
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ.