My little sister has had my heart from before I ever held her in my arms, while my mom was still pregnant with her I read her stories at night so my mom could rest without the baby moving and kicking so much. Eventually when my sister could talk she started to say things to me like "Sissy, when I grow up I wanna be just like you" or "Sissy you're the best sister, I hope I am like you someday." By this time I had been carried away in my rebellion against God and I knew in my heart I wasn't being a good role model for her and I honestly wasn't as good to her as I should have been or even truly as I wanted to be. At this time I wasn't a person I would have wanted her to grow up to be like, I was unhappy, selfish and living a life contrary to who I was in a desperate attempt to keep up with people who I thought were my friends. Each time I heard her words it cut me deeper, convicting me more and more that I wanted to change for her and me. But I wasn't sure how, I just knew I needed to change my life, so I started by praying.
Shortly after this God put a man in my life who could help me to change for the better. With God's help Nick taught me to be happier and he appreciated me for who I was at my heart, he accepted me for where I was at in my life, but saw the potential in who I am at my core and helped to bring it to the surface. Slowly because of this support I started to make better choices and to become a better person, a person that I was increasingly proud of, one that I liked and one that I felt like was a good role model for my little sister. I still needed more work though, and I needed someone to look up to also, someone I see myself in and say, 'I want to be like that, I want to trust God like they did.'
In truth, God had already provided that for me and as I started aligning my life back with Him I again found the inspiration I needed in my grandmothers. These two hard working, God fearing, loving women left me a legacy of love and faith and who as I came to know Christ and the Bible better reminded me of the 'Wife of noble character' described in Proverbs 31 10- 31. I decided then that this was the woman I intended to be, a wife of noble character, a woman who was a source of inspiration to others and shined God's light wherever she went. I have since often checked this scripture and compared it to myself, praying for God's help to be perfected and refined into a woman of noble character, a woman who shows others who Yeshua is. I am nowhere near perfect at this, I fail often. But I am trying and I believe that this is the kind of woman God wants me to be. I am no longer ashamed by who I am or the lifestyle I'm leading and I would count myself blessed if my sister and perhaps a daughter someday, did actually follow in my present course.
I may not always live up to the character of a noble wife in Proverbs 31 or the women who inspired me, I don't always walk as Jesus would have but I am finally leading a lifestyle that I feel is pleasing and honoring God. I feel as though I honor my husband, and that I can be proud of how far I've come and what obstacles I have had to overcome to get here, but mostly I am grateful to God for the opportunity I have to be a woman of inspiration to my sister, and the women who inspired me. I am grateful for a savior who died for me and a God who loves me so much that He brought me out of my wretched state into the light. Be Blessed.
Proverbs 31 10-31
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
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