Saturday, January 4, 2014

Starting Fresh

     Everyday is a new chance at life, and that's true but sometimes it's hard to let go of yesterday, especially the bad stuff. Why is it so hard to shut out? Why do my mistakes haunt me in my quiet moments and thoughts? I have been trying very hard to push yesterday out so I can start new today.
     I have struggled with this everyday for as long as I can remember. But it's a new day and  once more I'm trying again to take control of my mind. I have a life that's worth living. I have a good job, a husband who wants to start a family of our own, a big family who's always there to help us out, and most importantly a relationship with God.
      One of my favorite verses that I say all the time is Philippians 4:13 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' it's my mantra. I must have to say it a hundred times a day, sometimes I just repeat it over and over again until I feel better. Dealing with depression is hard but I'm starting to realize what I've been telling my husband is true, you have to believe you can beat to actually beat it. Although, I take great comfort in that verse I'm sitting here wondering if I ever really, deep in my heart believed He could heal me of depression or if I  just hoped it.
     I want to start fresh, starting today. I want to throw myself into healing. I want to figure out my plan for happiness and go at it with vigor! Because I have the tools to get better, I have the desire, the support, and God who loves me greatly. I declare that this year I will beat depression for good, and I will start living happy!

Ecclesiastes 3:12
I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy, and do good while they live.

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