I have never really felt like I belonged in the world I exist in. I don't mean that I feel like I am from another world or anything crazy like that, but just that my surroundings and current lifestyle don't accurately reflect who I was meant to be. Like I was meant for more, that I am supposed to be doing better financially than what I am. I know pretty much everyone wants to be doing better financially, or have a crazy fabulous lifestyle. But it's not just a want or a desire for me, my spirit tells me all the time 'you were meant for more than this.' I feel like I was born to live a life where we are financial security. I know that might sounds really greedy, but its what I feel and have always felt.
From the time I was young I have always seen myself at my ten year high school reunion as successful and starting a family. Always, even when my biggest ambition in life was being a teacher. I have always known that by the time I was 28 I would be living a very different life. I wouldn't be struggling to stay ahead or get out of debt anymore. It's just something that's always been inside of me. I feel like I am at the point now where I am preparing to walk into this future.
I am really not certain what I am doing. I am completely clueless honestly. But I trust what's inside me. I trust God. I don't believe this would have been laid so heavily on my heart since childhood if it wasn't meant to be. I think that is why whenever I would settle into a situation and go 'well this is my life and how it will always be,' everything would immediately start falling a part and either I would decide to change, to take a new direction, or God would pull the rug out from under me to force me to look up at Him and obey.
I don't yet fully understand what it is exactly that God has planned for me and my husband. But I know the coffee shop is part of it. I know there will children, but not yet. He has told me to let go of my will on this situation and be patient for His timing. So like Sarah I wait, knowing its in my future but that I must trust God for now. I know that we are destined to be blessed abundantly, and to give to the poor in the same manner. I know that there will be many obstacles to getting to this promised future too, mainly doubt and fear.
My whole life that's been the case, before a breakthrough that leads me to something better than what I have now, I must first conquer doubt and fear. But when I do, I never regret it. I only regret when I let fear win...even if its not my fear I'm battling. I've learned not to give in, that I can look fear in the eye and say my God is bigger, but not everyone is like that. I pray for strength to defeat fear, and to walk in grace into this victory, and promised future of abundance.
Psalm 66:12
You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water; but you brought us to a place of abundance.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Picking myself back up after a fall
Yesterday was a tough day, and really it was mostly because I let it be that way. Looking back at it, it was with the exception of one thing a pretty good day, but I let the one bad thing that happened taint everything else. If it had not happened I would have said yesterday was a great day.
We all do it from time to time I suppose, we let one thing throw us off our game and cause us to lose focus of how blessed we really are. I should have spent the day happily playing with the kids at work and exploring my new windows tablet, but instead I was fuming over a situation I had no control over. I lost my focus, and forgot to be thankful. I sadly stayed that way most of the day, and even this morning had some left over frustration. I am pretty disappointed in myself, and that's what I am feeling mostly right now.
But today is a new day and I have a choice to make, I can stay in yesterday and continue to feel frustrated and disappointed in myself, or I can decide right now to put all my effort into joy. I may not feel joyful in this moment but I am smiling and will wear this smile until I feel it. I may not want to exercise today, seriously I really don't feel like it, but I'm going to do it anyway because I know it will make me feel better afterwards. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now, not even God, but as soon as I'm done here I'm kneeling down before my Father and begging Him to pull away my hurt. I am choosing to do what I don't want to because I need too. If I want to be happy and live a healthy lifestyle I have too.
The thing that motivates me on days like today where I am down and don't want to do anything but sulk, is that I don't want to feel bad anymore and I'm not going to let one bad day ruin all my hard work. I'm tired of hurting all the time, I'm tired of being sad, frustrated and disappointed. I want with all my heart to be better, and to feel better. So yesterday was a bad day, I failed at appreciating it, today I will not.
Psalm 118: 24
This is the day The Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.
We all do it from time to time I suppose, we let one thing throw us off our game and cause us to lose focus of how blessed we really are. I should have spent the day happily playing with the kids at work and exploring my new windows tablet, but instead I was fuming over a situation I had no control over. I lost my focus, and forgot to be thankful. I sadly stayed that way most of the day, and even this morning had some left over frustration. I am pretty disappointed in myself, and that's what I am feeling mostly right now.
But today is a new day and I have a choice to make, I can stay in yesterday and continue to feel frustrated and disappointed in myself, or I can decide right now to put all my effort into joy. I may not feel joyful in this moment but I am smiling and will wear this smile until I feel it. I may not want to exercise today, seriously I really don't feel like it, but I'm going to do it anyway because I know it will make me feel better afterwards. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now, not even God, but as soon as I'm done here I'm kneeling down before my Father and begging Him to pull away my hurt. I am choosing to do what I don't want to because I need too. If I want to be happy and live a healthy lifestyle I have too.
The thing that motivates me on days like today where I am down and don't want to do anything but sulk, is that I don't want to feel bad anymore and I'm not going to let one bad day ruin all my hard work. I'm tired of hurting all the time, I'm tired of being sad, frustrated and disappointed. I want with all my heart to be better, and to feel better. So yesterday was a bad day, I failed at appreciating it, today I will not.
Psalm 118: 24
This is the day The Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Time To Get Busy
I got a big surprise last night when I went to visit my parents, they had bought me the new windows surface tablet! I am so excited! This is going to make it so much easier to do stuff for the business, and help me to publish and finish my book! I am so blessed to have my family! I feel really fortunate to have what I have!
But now the real work begins. No more excuses, I have none left, I have to really get busy and get things going. I want my book completed and published by the end of March, my business plan will hopefully be in the final stages and being adjusted as needed. I would like to have the book I am reading on business finished by then and maybe start reading a second, can't hurt to gain as much knowledge as possible.
I also plan on starting a Facebook account as well as a G+ account for our coffee shop soon. Which these accounts right now will only be to track the development of the business, but in the future work as a marketing tool. I'm so excited for the future! It's a lot of work now, and always will be I believe, but it'll be worth it.
I know our future is blessed and I am determined to forge ahead. Nothing will stop me this time. In the past I let my doubts, fears, and negativity talk me out of doing things, not anymore. I have let others talk me out of things I knew I should do, but I won't allow it to happen again. It's going to be hard, stressful, and at times I may feel its impossible. But I come from a stubborn clan and I'm not giving up this time. It's time to get busy and walk towards the future I want and have always felt that I was meant for.
1 Thessalonians 1:3
We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
But now the real work begins. No more excuses, I have none left, I have to really get busy and get things going. I want my book completed and published by the end of March, my business plan will hopefully be in the final stages and being adjusted as needed. I would like to have the book I am reading on business finished by then and maybe start reading a second, can't hurt to gain as much knowledge as possible.
I also plan on starting a Facebook account as well as a G+ account for our coffee shop soon. Which these accounts right now will only be to track the development of the business, but in the future work as a marketing tool. I'm so excited for the future! It's a lot of work now, and always will be I believe, but it'll be worth it.
I know our future is blessed and I am determined to forge ahead. Nothing will stop me this time. In the past I let my doubts, fears, and negativity talk me out of doing things, not anymore. I have let others talk me out of things I knew I should do, but I won't allow it to happen again. It's going to be hard, stressful, and at times I may feel its impossible. But I come from a stubborn clan and I'm not giving up this time. It's time to get busy and walk towards the future I want and have always felt that I was meant for.
1 Thessalonians 1:3
We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Unknown Future
The future can be a scary place, there is so much uncertainity there. We think we know what is going to happen and life throws something at us we didn't expect and we are left scrambling to get it under control. That's how I feel with this business sometimes. It is something we want, and have dreamed about, but the reality of trying to make it happen can be overwhelming. We've never run our own business before and aren't really sure of what we are doing.
We are blessed though, our family is super supportive of us and so are my employers which I really didn't expect. It's actually pretty awesome how many people have told us its a great idea and something kind of needed in our area. And we've had a couple people who have run their own businesses offer to give us advice, which is something we desperately need! The book we bought is helping and I am really trying to push our gofundme.com page. I'd really like to stay out of debt as much as possible, but it may be unavoidable.
I don't quite know what to expect in this new year and that's kind of scary to me. But I am willing to walk into the unknown, I'm willing to follow this path and see where it takes us. I've stopped myself from going after things I wanted before because I was scared, and it cost me. It was a big mistake, one I won't repeat. I feel like if I take this path of uncertainties it will lead to something, and I know where the other path leads and I don't want to settle. I love being a nanny, but I don't want to spend my whole life working for someone else, I feel like I was meant to do more than that. So I will push forward.
I'm only 26, but I've decided I'd rather walk into a future unknown and learn to handle this new life, new business, and new challenges than stay in a stagnant life that doesn't feel like its reaching its potential.
Proverbs 23:18
There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.
We are blessed though, our family is super supportive of us and so are my employers which I really didn't expect. It's actually pretty awesome how many people have told us its a great idea and something kind of needed in our area. And we've had a couple people who have run their own businesses offer to give us advice, which is something we desperately need! The book we bought is helping and I am really trying to push our gofundme.com page. I'd really like to stay out of debt as much as possible, but it may be unavoidable.
I don't quite know what to expect in this new year and that's kind of scary to me. But I am willing to walk into the unknown, I'm willing to follow this path and see where it takes us. I've stopped myself from going after things I wanted before because I was scared, and it cost me. It was a big mistake, one I won't repeat. I feel like if I take this path of uncertainties it will lead to something, and I know where the other path leads and I don't want to settle. I love being a nanny, but I don't want to spend my whole life working for someone else, I feel like I was meant to do more than that. So I will push forward.
I'm only 26, but I've decided I'd rather walk into a future unknown and learn to handle this new life, new business, and new challenges than stay in a stagnant life that doesn't feel like its reaching its potential.
Proverbs 23:18
There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Financing a Dream
It's really scary, hard, and confusing trying to figure out how to get the financing for our dream. We know we have a good idea, but how do we convince someone else? I'm working on trying to learn how to write a business plan. But I've never done this before, and we don't have perfect credit so I'm scared the bank won't give us a small business loan, besides all we have as collateral is our cars and they aren't brand new.
I wanted to try gofundme.com because I hope that by networking and encouraging people to donate we can minimize, or if we are really blessed eliminate, what we have to borrow from a bank. Either way it'll certainly help get us going in the right direction. And I know regardless, somehow, someway, we'll get the financing. I trust that God is looking out for us, and that He will help us reach our goal. I believe this is the direction He intends for us to go and I am willing to follow and do all that I can to acheive it.
The Green Room Coffee Shop will be an asset to our area where teens need somewhere to go for fun in a safe environment. We plan on serving pastries, sandwiches, bagels, pizza bagels, pretzels, soups, chips, sodas, coffees, and teas. We plan on open mic nights, live performances once a month, and other special events. We want to make a cool place to hang out with friends, listen to music, and use free wifi, lol. But besides what the shop itself would be it would provide a living for our family, and help us to feel more independent, and proud. It's been hard finding decent jobs with the economy around here, but we feel that by starting a business we can put to use the experience we've both gained from doing managers positions and working in the food service industry. And maybe add something to our local economy, especially when we give back, we will be giving away 10% of our profit each quarter to charity.
We aren't going to be able to do this alone though, and thankfully we have a supportive family and God. I trust He will put the right people in our path like +Bryan Bruce who donated to us, and we are extremely grateful for! The road ahead is unclear, but I know where we are going. I know we can get there, I know we will.
http://www.gofundme.com/71e8vk
Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of The Lord Jesus, giving
thanks to God the Father through him.
I wanted to try gofundme.com because I hope that by networking and encouraging people to donate we can minimize, or if we are really blessed eliminate, what we have to borrow from a bank. Either way it'll certainly help get us going in the right direction. And I know regardless, somehow, someway, we'll get the financing. I trust that God is looking out for us, and that He will help us reach our goal. I believe this is the direction He intends for us to go and I am willing to follow and do all that I can to acheive it.
The Green Room Coffee Shop will be an asset to our area where teens need somewhere to go for fun in a safe environment. We plan on serving pastries, sandwiches, bagels, pizza bagels, pretzels, soups, chips, sodas, coffees, and teas. We plan on open mic nights, live performances once a month, and other special events. We want to make a cool place to hang out with friends, listen to music, and use free wifi, lol. But besides what the shop itself would be it would provide a living for our family, and help us to feel more independent, and proud. It's been hard finding decent jobs with the economy around here, but we feel that by starting a business we can put to use the experience we've both gained from doing managers positions and working in the food service industry. And maybe add something to our local economy, especially when we give back, we will be giving away 10% of our profit each quarter to charity.
We aren't going to be able to do this alone though, and thankfully we have a supportive family and God. I trust He will put the right people in our path like +Bryan Bruce who donated to us, and we are extremely grateful for! The road ahead is unclear, but I know where we are going. I know we can get there, I know we will.
http://www.gofundme.com/71e8vk
Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of The Lord Jesus, giving
thanks to God the Father through him.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
I waited and.....
I woke up this morning thinking about the kids I went to high school with and how my choice to wait until I was married to have sex got me verbally attacked by some of my peers, questioned by others, and how some tried instead to convince me it was okay to have sex as early as age 12, while a small few supported my decision and made the same one themselves. I decided early on that it was important to remain sexually pure, I believed then and still do that our culture cheapens sex. I believed that by remaining sexually pure I was honoring my future husband, myself, and saving myself from regret. I wasn't close to God then, but I know now that this is a choice He was pleased with.
It's that last thought that I was thinking about in particular today, saving myself from regret. I remember talking to one of my peers about that, close to ten years ago now, and how she had assured me I would regret not having sex with other partners before I was married more than having sex before marriage. She tried to convince me that I would always wonder what it was like with someone else. Another person told me several times that I would hold resentment towards the man who took my virginity and it would be better to get it out of the way before I met the right man so I could love him without resentment.
Well, these things sat in my head all through my teens and early twenties but I still waited, and sometimes wondered if I made the right choice while I was waiting. Especially when my boyfriend at one time started to cheat on me because I wouldn't participate in any sexual activity. I have been married just over three years now to someone else and I realize now that those people were all liars. I'm glad everyday that I didn't allow these lies to taint what I have, that I didn't let the world convince me that waiting was a stupid choice. I am glad I waited, and I'm glad my husband did as well, there is an incredible amount of trust between my husband and I, I never wonder about being with anyone else because I am bonded to my spouse, my true love and I know he feels the same.
I finally decided to write this after going back and forth on the issue since I woke up this morning. But after talking to a young girl on google plus earlier, I sat down and started writing. I have several young people who read my blogs post and speak to me often, and I also have a sister who is just coming into her teen years, I want them to know, I want anyone who reads this and was struggling with the choice to know the truth. Sex isn't something you just do, it isn't just 'fun' it's called making love for a reason, its meant to be done to strength the bonds of love in marriage. Don't believe the lies. Don't sacrifice what you can't get back to someone who isn't going to be there for the long haul, you are too special for that.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 7:36
36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.
It's that last thought that I was thinking about in particular today, saving myself from regret. I remember talking to one of my peers about that, close to ten years ago now, and how she had assured me I would regret not having sex with other partners before I was married more than having sex before marriage. She tried to convince me that I would always wonder what it was like with someone else. Another person told me several times that I would hold resentment towards the man who took my virginity and it would be better to get it out of the way before I met the right man so I could love him without resentment.
Well, these things sat in my head all through my teens and early twenties but I still waited, and sometimes wondered if I made the right choice while I was waiting. Especially when my boyfriend at one time started to cheat on me because I wouldn't participate in any sexual activity. I have been married just over three years now to someone else and I realize now that those people were all liars. I'm glad everyday that I didn't allow these lies to taint what I have, that I didn't let the world convince me that waiting was a stupid choice. I am glad I waited, and I'm glad my husband did as well, there is an incredible amount of trust between my husband and I, I never wonder about being with anyone else because I am bonded to my spouse, my true love and I know he feels the same.
I finally decided to write this after going back and forth on the issue since I woke up this morning. But after talking to a young girl on google plus earlier, I sat down and started writing. I have several young people who read my blogs post and speak to me often, and I also have a sister who is just coming into her teen years, I want them to know, I want anyone who reads this and was struggling with the choice to know the truth. Sex isn't something you just do, it isn't just 'fun' it's called making love for a reason, its meant to be done to strength the bonds of love in marriage. Don't believe the lies. Don't sacrifice what you can't get back to someone who isn't going to be there for the long haul, you are too special for that.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 7:36
36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Everyday is an Adventure
I don't think I have ever seen a 5 year old wake up in the morning going 'ugh, it's another day.' Most little kids I've known wake up ready to go and excited about what the day might bring, with maybe a few minor exceptions like when they are sick or when they know they are going the doctors. This morning I was thinking about that and decided that I love this approach to life that children just naturally have. I love that they are always excited, always ready to explore and find out about the world around them, always ready to laugh and enjoy the day, sure they have tantrums and upsets when things don't go their way, but don't we? I realized as I thought about this that I miss being excited about life all the time like that. I realized that somewhere along the way of becoming an adult we lose our excitement for life and what I think it is, is that we start to expect the bad, or we get so used to things that we start to take them for granted and they lose their wonder, at least in our eyes.
Whatever the case is, I decided yesterday that I wanted my excitement back. I want to wake up happy and excited to start another day, everyday just like a child. I want to wake up and recognize that everyday miracles are happening, that everyday is a gift. Everyday should be an adventure! Another chance to see and share the glory and gospel of our God! So starting with this morning I woke up and when the 'ugh' thoughts came in I pushed them back out, and thanked God for another day to enjoy His creation, and meet new people instead.
I know we all get in to routines and ruts, but I think the reason that they bring us down so much is our spirits weren't meant to just exist. We are meant to glorify our King, to love each other, to love His creation, and take joy in it. We are meant to be happy, and to build up one another, share our joys, and not just our concerns, and to believe anything is possible with our God, because it is(Matthew 19:26)! When we stop putting limitations on God and ourselves, when we stop making excuses and exercise our faith instead we start to see that God's smallest children have it right. When we start dreaming big, believing big, and praying big, you can start to understand it wasn't that life's excitement left, it's that we stopped looking for it. We stopped expecting it. For now on I am expecting it! I want my adventure back and I want to find out just how big God really is! I want to see His miracles, blessings, and mercies daily. I want to recognize that everyday is an adventure with the Lord, and one step closer to finally going home!
Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Whatever the case is, I decided yesterday that I wanted my excitement back. I want to wake up happy and excited to start another day, everyday just like a child. I want to wake up and recognize that everyday miracles are happening, that everyday is a gift. Everyday should be an adventure! Another chance to see and share the glory and gospel of our God! So starting with this morning I woke up and when the 'ugh' thoughts came in I pushed them back out, and thanked God for another day to enjoy His creation, and meet new people instead.
I know we all get in to routines and ruts, but I think the reason that they bring us down so much is our spirits weren't meant to just exist. We are meant to glorify our King, to love each other, to love His creation, and take joy in it. We are meant to be happy, and to build up one another, share our joys, and not just our concerns, and to believe anything is possible with our God, because it is(Matthew 19:26)! When we stop putting limitations on God and ourselves, when we stop making excuses and exercise our faith instead we start to see that God's smallest children have it right. When we start dreaming big, believing big, and praying big, you can start to understand it wasn't that life's excitement left, it's that we stopped looking for it. We stopped expecting it. For now on I am expecting it! I want my adventure back and I want to find out just how big God really is! I want to see His miracles, blessings, and mercies daily. I want to recognize that everyday is an adventure with the Lord, and one step closer to finally going home!
Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Pursuing Dreams
A year ago I never would have thought I'd be where I am now, or doing what I am. It's amazing how a year changes things! A year ago I was ok and settled into my life, things weren't perfect but I had taken a new job that I liked very much, and was getting on track with my mental health. I didn't see that my life would ever be any different at that point. I wasn't writing then, and I didn't believe I ever could get published like I dreamed. Our coffee shop idea had long since faded away as something we had talked about doing but probably never would. We were talking about houses and babies, but didn't really have any direction.
Now things are quite different! My mental health has improved so much! I haven't been this confident or self-assured in my entire life. I have another new job that pays better and allows me more time to write, and to quit my second job! Because of the new job being salary we took the coffee shop idea back out and started working on, and will soon start trying to build funding via, gofundme.com! Houses and babies are on the back burners for now, but I defiantly still see them in our future.
It feels great to have a hopeful future for the first time, in a long time. It feels great to see my hard work and determination paying off, even if its just a little at a time. I really think all this kind of connects, and feeds into each other. My improved mental health and moods made me want to try more, I no longer wanted to settle for the 'this is life, just deal with it' attitude, instead I started to go after the life I want with a vengeance. Now that I am pursuing my dreams I feel fulfilled, because I feel fulfilled my mood continues to improve, and as it improves so does my quality of life.
I think I have finally figured it out!
Proverbs 18:20
From the fruit of their mouth a person's stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.
Now things are quite different! My mental health has improved so much! I haven't been this confident or self-assured in my entire life. I have another new job that pays better and allows me more time to write, and to quit my second job! Because of the new job being salary we took the coffee shop idea back out and started working on, and will soon start trying to build funding via, gofundme.com! Houses and babies are on the back burners for now, but I defiantly still see them in our future.
It feels great to have a hopeful future for the first time, in a long time. It feels great to see my hard work and determination paying off, even if its just a little at a time. I really think all this kind of connects, and feeds into each other. My improved mental health and moods made me want to try more, I no longer wanted to settle for the 'this is life, just deal with it' attitude, instead I started to go after the life I want with a vengeance. Now that I am pursuing my dreams I feel fulfilled, because I feel fulfilled my mood continues to improve, and as it improves so does my quality of life.
I think I have finally figured it out!
Proverbs 18:20
From the fruit of their mouth a person's stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Rear View Mirror
I drive 13 miles to work everyday, and because of the weather lately I've been having to go out to my car early every morning to heat up the car and get it to defrost. This morning I forgot to turn on the rear window defrosters, which really isn't a big deal because I don't have to back up or change lanes at all while I'm driving into work. Despite knowing that the rear window was still frozen over I caught myself peering up into the rear view mirror every so often.
About half way into work I caught myself doing it again but a thought crossed my mind as I looked up and saw that my rear window was still frozen and I couldn't see behind me, I thought 'this is probably a good thing that I can't look back right now, because it becomes a big distraction for me.' And it's true, not just with driving though, but with life in general.
I think most of us are guilty of this at some time or another, we spend so much time thinking about where we have been that we forget to think about where we are going, or where we are right now. Not that it's bad to look back and remember, but we can't let the memory be more present than the present. We can't allow a memory or feeling to stop us from looking forward, from moving forward, and going after what we want. God does not want us to live in the past, He wants us to live each day for Him!
After my thoughts this morning, and spending some time reflecting on them I have decided to start working on not looking back as much, it doesn't matter who is behind me while I'm driving into or home from work, what matters is I know where I want to go and how to get there. It's the exact same in life, the people and events of the past are behind me, and although they were part of the journey we aren't all going to the same destination, looking back isn't going to change that. So instead, I need to look towards my destination and keep focused and centered on Jesus. I need to let my path be the reason to be determined, and happy. I need to let go of what's behind me and keep focused.
Psalm 119:132-135
About half way into work I caught myself doing it again but a thought crossed my mind as I looked up and saw that my rear window was still frozen and I couldn't see behind me, I thought 'this is probably a good thing that I can't look back right now, because it becomes a big distraction for me.' And it's true, not just with driving though, but with life in general.
I think most of us are guilty of this at some time or another, we spend so much time thinking about where we have been that we forget to think about where we are going, or where we are right now. Not that it's bad to look back and remember, but we can't let the memory be more present than the present. We can't allow a memory or feeling to stop us from looking forward, from moving forward, and going after what we want. God does not want us to live in the past, He wants us to live each day for Him!
After my thoughts this morning, and spending some time reflecting on them I have decided to start working on not looking back as much, it doesn't matter who is behind me while I'm driving into or home from work, what matters is I know where I want to go and how to get there. It's the exact same in life, the people and events of the past are behind me, and although they were part of the journey we aren't all going to the same destination, looking back isn't going to change that. So instead, I need to look towards my destination and keep focused and centered on Jesus. I need to let my path be the reason to be determined, and happy. I need to let go of what's behind me and keep focused.
Psalm 119:132-135
Turn to me and have mercy on me,
as you always do to those who love your name.
Direct my footsteps according to your word;
let no sin rule over me.
Redeem me from human oppression,
that I may obey your precepts.
Make your face shine on your servant
and teach me your decrees.
Philippians 3:13-14
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
A Look at Love in the Golden Years
I was visiting with my grandma recently and she was talking to me about not being able to visit my granddad in the hospital where he was receiving rehabilitation from a fall, due to the bad roads lately and how he had asked her to call every hour that they would both normally be awake, but would only talk to her for about five minutes. My grandparents have been married 57 years, and although my grandfather has not always been an easy man to be married to they have made it and are still in love, which absolutely amazes me!
I admire them and their relationship very much, in fact my husband and I picked a date close to their wedding date because of that. It's so sweet to see them together, my grandma just fusses over him, always trying to take care of his needs and make sure he's comfortable. And he teases her like crazy! But even if you didn't see all that, if all you did was sit next to one of them and talk to them about their spouse you would know that they were still in love, their faces change and a light sparkles in their eyes. It's a very wonderful thing to see, especially knowing their rocky past, to be able to go though all of that, raise 6 children together, and still love one another so deeply.
When my grandma told me about the way my granddad was behaving at the rehabilitation center with wanting to be called all day if she couldn't be there I couldn't help but smile. She told me he wanted her to stay there with him, he joked that she could just sleep there with him until he could go home. Even with a staff of nurses, he still wants her there, he still needs her with him, even if there is nothing she can do for him except just sit beside him. I love my grandfather, I love how much he loves and needs my grandma.
They don't really go out anymore, and never really did go out much together before either unless it was to walk trails at the local park. But they are content together, they are happy just to be together in each other's company. People keep telling my grandma to put him in a nursing home for long term care instead of the short stays for rehabilitation, and I'll be surprised if she ever does. I don't think some people understand the relationship they have. And I'm not sure many people have this kind of relationship honestly, my granddad may be ornery, and disabled due to 2 heart attacks, and bad arthritis, but grandma needs him just as much as he needs her. She is at her best and happiest when she's taking care of him, I see that in the way she cares for him, so tender and loving.
I look at them and I see the couple that eloped, and built a life together. A couple that built a house for their family 50+ years ago, survived my grandfather's alcohol abuse, raised 6 kids, 21 grandchildren, and did the best they could. I see a couple that had to struggle to stay together sometimes because it was hard, and fought with each, and still on occasion fights, but that never gave up. They believed in marriage and the vows they took, they had faith and raised all of us to know there is a God.
I asked my grandma before why she didn't leave pappy when he was drinking away their income, and she told me it was because she always believed God would free him from the addiction, she just had to be patient. She doesn't believe in divorce, and she felt that a life with the man she loved, no matter how difficult, was better than one without him. I think about that a lot. That is love. I'm not sure that I have ever actually heard my grandparents say 'I love you' to each other, but no one can doubt that they do. I think they have a love better than anything I have ever read in a book, other than the love of God for us. Theirs is a love that goes beyond romantic love, their love is loyal, and steadfast, and built on a lot of hard work and faith in each other and trust in God. They are inspirational. They are a testimony not only of their love for each other, but God's love seeing them through. They are a testimony of trusting God when most would have given up, and in the end, they still have each other, they still have faith, and my grandma was proven right to those who thought she should leave and that my grandfather wouldn't change. In their love and their love for us I have seen a glimpse of God's love and I am blessed and inspired by it.They are a testimony of love and faithfulness to each other and God.
Psalm 86:15
But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness
1 John 4:8
He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.
I admire them and their relationship very much, in fact my husband and I picked a date close to their wedding date because of that. It's so sweet to see them together, my grandma just fusses over him, always trying to take care of his needs and make sure he's comfortable. And he teases her like crazy! But even if you didn't see all that, if all you did was sit next to one of them and talk to them about their spouse you would know that they were still in love, their faces change and a light sparkles in their eyes. It's a very wonderful thing to see, especially knowing their rocky past, to be able to go though all of that, raise 6 children together, and still love one another so deeply.
When my grandma told me about the way my granddad was behaving at the rehabilitation center with wanting to be called all day if she couldn't be there I couldn't help but smile. She told me he wanted her to stay there with him, he joked that she could just sleep there with him until he could go home. Even with a staff of nurses, he still wants her there, he still needs her with him, even if there is nothing she can do for him except just sit beside him. I love my grandfather, I love how much he loves and needs my grandma.
They don't really go out anymore, and never really did go out much together before either unless it was to walk trails at the local park. But they are content together, they are happy just to be together in each other's company. People keep telling my grandma to put him in a nursing home for long term care instead of the short stays for rehabilitation, and I'll be surprised if she ever does. I don't think some people understand the relationship they have. And I'm not sure many people have this kind of relationship honestly, my granddad may be ornery, and disabled due to 2 heart attacks, and bad arthritis, but grandma needs him just as much as he needs her. She is at her best and happiest when she's taking care of him, I see that in the way she cares for him, so tender and loving.
I look at them and I see the couple that eloped, and built a life together. A couple that built a house for their family 50+ years ago, survived my grandfather's alcohol abuse, raised 6 kids, 21 grandchildren, and did the best they could. I see a couple that had to struggle to stay together sometimes because it was hard, and fought with each, and still on occasion fights, but that never gave up. They believed in marriage and the vows they took, they had faith and raised all of us to know there is a God.
I asked my grandma before why she didn't leave pappy when he was drinking away their income, and she told me it was because she always believed God would free him from the addiction, she just had to be patient. She doesn't believe in divorce, and she felt that a life with the man she loved, no matter how difficult, was better than one without him. I think about that a lot. That is love. I'm not sure that I have ever actually heard my grandparents say 'I love you' to each other, but no one can doubt that they do. I think they have a love better than anything I have ever read in a book, other than the love of God for us. Theirs is a love that goes beyond romantic love, their love is loyal, and steadfast, and built on a lot of hard work and faith in each other and trust in God. They are inspirational. They are a testimony not only of their love for each other, but God's love seeing them through. They are a testimony of trusting God when most would have given up, and in the end, they still have each other, they still have faith, and my grandma was proven right to those who thought she should leave and that my grandfather wouldn't change. In their love and their love for us I have seen a glimpse of God's love and I am blessed and inspired by it.They are a testimony of love and faithfulness to each other and God.
Psalm 86:15
But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness
1 John 4:8
He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Appreciation
Life can get better or worse, the decision is really yours. I get really sick of hearing people who are truly fortunate complain. I understand life isn't perfect, I understand that sometimes situations are not in our control and it can be frustrating, scary or bad. I know we all have our difficulties, and that sometimes just being happy can be a struggle. But honestly this does not give you right to destroy others' happiness. It does not give you the right to go around everyday with this 'woe is me, pity me' attitude. Just because you have chosen to allow your situation or circumstance to wreck your attitude and perspective on life does not mean you have to spread it around, just like I don't have to listen to it. I am at a point where I realize for my own mental health and happiness I can no longer allow myself to listen.
So I am no longer allowing it in my life, if you need to vent, fine we all do sometimes, but venting and complaining are different. Venting is 'I've had a bad day and need to get this off my chest,' where as complaining is talking about the same emotions feelings, or thoughts repeatedly without doing anything to change them (example: saying for several hours that you have a headache but not taking medicine, or refusing it when it is offered and continuing to talk about said headache.)
Part of me just really wonders if the people who act this way would transfer their energy into making themselves feel good how different their attitudes could be, because if they have this much focus on negativity transferring that energy could turn their situation around! I realize it's not that easy though, it's not just flipping a switch, I've been there, it's a lot of work to get better and it's work to stay better. But it all starts by deciding to do something about the way you feel. It's making little changes and adjustments in thought, behavior, and routine each day. It's making a conscience and concentrated effort to see the good, even when it's easier to look at the bad. Mainly it's learning to be grateful and appreciating what you have, that doesn't mean to stop trying do better financially, physically, or emotionally, it means really looking at what you have and saying 'it could be a lot worse, I'm glad I am where I am.'
I do not believe we are meant to live negative lives, to be stuck in endless cycles of anxiety and depression. I think sometimes that's why our souls hurt so much when we are in the midst of the negativity, that's why negativity often leads into triggering our anxiety, we want to escape it. We want to flee from it, but we can't because we have allowed it into our world. Instead, it's all about attitude towards the situation. You choose to let it run you down or you can say this awful, but at least it's not this. Once you learn to appreciate what you have life is a lot more enjoyable, not perfect but defiantly better.
Having been on both sides of this I know how much of a struggle is it, especially at first, and there are days or even weeks where I still fail and have to start all over. But I much rather live a life spreading love, caring, positivity, and kindness, than one of disappointment, selfishness, and negativity. Remember we get back what we put out.
Psalm 106 6-8
James 1:2-3
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
So I am no longer allowing it in my life, if you need to vent, fine we all do sometimes, but venting and complaining are different. Venting is 'I've had a bad day and need to get this off my chest,' where as complaining is talking about the same emotions feelings, or thoughts repeatedly without doing anything to change them (example: saying for several hours that you have a headache but not taking medicine, or refusing it when it is offered and continuing to talk about said headache.)
Part of me just really wonders if the people who act this way would transfer their energy into making themselves feel good how different their attitudes could be, because if they have this much focus on negativity transferring that energy could turn their situation around! I realize it's not that easy though, it's not just flipping a switch, I've been there, it's a lot of work to get better and it's work to stay better. But it all starts by deciding to do something about the way you feel. It's making little changes and adjustments in thought, behavior, and routine each day. It's making a conscience and concentrated effort to see the good, even when it's easier to look at the bad. Mainly it's learning to be grateful and appreciating what you have, that doesn't mean to stop trying do better financially, physically, or emotionally, it means really looking at what you have and saying 'it could be a lot worse, I'm glad I am where I am.'
I do not believe we are meant to live negative lives, to be stuck in endless cycles of anxiety and depression. I think sometimes that's why our souls hurt so much when we are in the midst of the negativity, that's why negativity often leads into triggering our anxiety, we want to escape it. We want to flee from it, but we can't because we have allowed it into our world. Instead, it's all about attitude towards the situation. You choose to let it run you down or you can say this awful, but at least it's not this. Once you learn to appreciate what you have life is a lot more enjoyable, not perfect but defiantly better.
Having been on both sides of this I know how much of a struggle is it, especially at first, and there are days or even weeks where I still fail and have to start all over. But I much rather live a life spreading love, caring, positivity, and kindness, than one of disappointment, selfishness, and negativity. Remember we get back what we put out.
Psalm 106 6-8
We have sinned, even as our ancestors did;
we have done wrong and acted wickedly.
When our ancestors were in Egypt,
they gave no thought to your miracles;
they did not remember your many kindnesses,
and they rebelled by the sea, the Red Sea.
Yet he saved them for his name’s sake,
to make his mighty power known James 1:2-3
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Spiritual Gifts
It is human nature to fear what we do not understand, especially in the church. I have always found it interesting that so many Christians do not understand what a spiritual gift is, and that many do not believe in them at all, or will accuse you of not being a true Christian if you claim a spiritual gift. On the flip side, there are churches that believe so strongly in the Holy Spirit and spiritual gifts that they claim you are not saved or are weak in the spirit if you do not claim a spiritual gift! I have been to both kinds of churches, and after time studying the Bible and my own personal experiences, I believe in spiritual gifts.
I would like to ask a pastor or some sort of theologian why is it that if we as Christians teach that God is the same now as He was in the past, and always will be in time to come, that we deny spiritual gifts? 1 Corinthians 12 not only talks about spirituals gifts, it list many of them, and if our God is always the same and has always been the same, why would he stop giving people spiritual gifts?
True, the Bible warns to be cautious of oracles, and fortune tellers, those using witchcraft, but in 1 Corinthians 12 verse 10 it also speaks of people receiving the spiritual gift of prophecy. We are called not to judge and condemn those with spiritual gifts, we were not meant to be suspicious but to use faith and prayer to discern the spirit and His will to help each other better serve The Lord. Spiritual gifts are meant to be a tool to help us better support and care for each other. They are meant to give us awareness of the Spirit and His will, not divide us.
Farther in 1 Corinthians 12 it goes on to talk about how we are all part of the same body and need to learn to functions as one body. That each part is meant to function in a different way with a different purpose, so then is it not logical that since we are meant to work in the Spirit in different ways that God would make us differently? And doesn't it too make sense that if a lesser being like Satan can cause people to use gifts such as spirit discernment and prophesy for his purpose that God can use them for His?
I believe in the Holy Bible, I believe it as truth. And I believe my God is the same God now that He was when He created this planet. I believe in all His gifts and blessings, and believe that those Christians who doubt and condemn those with a spiritual gift need to take a second look at 1 Corinthians 12. I don't believe in telling anyone how to believe or what to believe, mostly because it is usually just a case of whether you want to believe or not but what I do ask is to be open enough to consider it. Give it research, time, and prayer. Those are the three steps to finding truth.
1 Corinthians 12: 1-11
1 Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. 2 You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. 3 Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.
I would like to ask a pastor or some sort of theologian why is it that if we as Christians teach that God is the same now as He was in the past, and always will be in time to come, that we deny spiritual gifts? 1 Corinthians 12 not only talks about spirituals gifts, it list many of them, and if our God is always the same and has always been the same, why would he stop giving people spiritual gifts?
True, the Bible warns to be cautious of oracles, and fortune tellers, those using witchcraft, but in 1 Corinthians 12 verse 10 it also speaks of people receiving the spiritual gift of prophecy. We are called not to judge and condemn those with spiritual gifts, we were not meant to be suspicious but to use faith and prayer to discern the spirit and His will to help each other better serve The Lord. Spiritual gifts are meant to be a tool to help us better support and care for each other. They are meant to give us awareness of the Spirit and His will, not divide us.
Farther in 1 Corinthians 12 it goes on to talk about how we are all part of the same body and need to learn to functions as one body. That each part is meant to function in a different way with a different purpose, so then is it not logical that since we are meant to work in the Spirit in different ways that God would make us differently? And doesn't it too make sense that if a lesser being like Satan can cause people to use gifts such as spirit discernment and prophesy for his purpose that God can use them for His?
I believe in the Holy Bible, I believe it as truth. And I believe my God is the same God now that He was when He created this planet. I believe in all His gifts and blessings, and believe that those Christians who doubt and condemn those with a spiritual gift need to take a second look at 1 Corinthians 12. I don't believe in telling anyone how to believe or what to believe, mostly because it is usually just a case of whether you want to believe or not but what I do ask is to be open enough to consider it. Give it research, time, and prayer. Those are the three steps to finding truth.
1 Corinthians 12: 1-11
1 Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. 2 You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. 3 Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.
4 There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them.
5 There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.
6 There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.
7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.
8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit,
9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit,
10 to
another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another
distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds
of tongues,a
and to still another the interpretation of tongues.
11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Respect for Marriage
I have put up several comments over time about men being too bold in their approach to me, and it has slowed down some. But it does continue and it leaves me wondering, where is the respect for marriage? Why does it mean nothing to some people? Why do people feel its okay to call another person's spouse? Why is it seen as okay to have sexual conversations with someone other than your spouse? Why do they feel that because its on the Internet and not in real life that this is acceptable? Why is adultery portrayed on television and movies as being as being popular, common, and exciting? Am I the only one who is upset by this?
I believe marriage is total dedication and loyalty to my spouse, because we are one flesh(Genesis 2:24). He is first after God, and my time with him so precious, he is precious to me, a gift from God that I am everyday grateful for! And because of that it sickens me to be approached by people on the internet or in real life by those who want to insert themselves into my marriage. Then to have these people say it's all pretend, there's no harm in it so it's okay and my husband never has to know only makes me angrier! Do you not know that once sin is conceived in your mind it is allowed into your heart?! There is no difference in thought or action in God's eyes! There is a verse I know where Jesus says if you look at a woman and lust after her you have already committed adultery (Matthew 5:28)! I will not allow any man or woman to convince me otherwise because I know the truth and once the truth is in you it can't be convinced or shaken out of you.
I belong to God first, and then to the man He gave me to, Nicholas Thorn. There is no room for any other, even if it's just 'pretend', I refuse to dishonor him in that way, or myself. A good husband deserves total loyalty and respect from his wife. I hope and pray that someday others will come to understand this. Marriage isn't about being loyal or respectful when it's good or convenient, it's a lifetime commitment to love, honor, and respect each other, it's a daily choice to do right by that person you have made a promise with! People need to learn and understand that when someone is in a committed relationship to back away, you have no place there, even in weak points. Marriage is to be held in honor and respected.
Mark 5:6-9
6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous
I believe marriage is total dedication and loyalty to my spouse, because we are one flesh(Genesis 2:24). He is first after God, and my time with him so precious, he is precious to me, a gift from God that I am everyday grateful for! And because of that it sickens me to be approached by people on the internet or in real life by those who want to insert themselves into my marriage. Then to have these people say it's all pretend, there's no harm in it so it's okay and my husband never has to know only makes me angrier! Do you not know that once sin is conceived in your mind it is allowed into your heart?! There is no difference in thought or action in God's eyes! There is a verse I know where Jesus says if you look at a woman and lust after her you have already committed adultery (Matthew 5:28)! I will not allow any man or woman to convince me otherwise because I know the truth and once the truth is in you it can't be convinced or shaken out of you.
I belong to God first, and then to the man He gave me to, Nicholas Thorn. There is no room for any other, even if it's just 'pretend', I refuse to dishonor him in that way, or myself. A good husband deserves total loyalty and respect from his wife. I hope and pray that someday others will come to understand this. Marriage isn't about being loyal or respectful when it's good or convenient, it's a lifetime commitment to love, honor, and respect each other, it's a daily choice to do right by that person you have made a promise with! People need to learn and understand that when someone is in a committed relationship to back away, you have no place there, even in weak points. Marriage is to be held in honor and respected.
Mark 5:6-9
6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous
Love and Family
It's Valentines day and this morning as usual I was besieged with racing thoughts first thing in the morning that I had to work through and clear out. One of the many thoughts racing around in my head was how much I love, and get frustrated with, my big clannish family. I know lots of people probably feel the same about their family's.
In particular I was thinking about how much we fight, I know that it's probably really silly to think about arguing on valentines day, but that's where my mind went. I can honestly say I am not one who is usually involved in the fights, but I am exposed to them often and usually get to hear both versions of the stories.
The thing that has always struck me about my family and makes it hard to think about moving away, is that I know no matter what my family has my back. It's always been that way, no matter how much we fight or argue amongst ourselves we are always there when we need each other. No one from the outside could ever pull us a part, we would always do whatever we had to protect each other and to help one another. I believe that this is what family is supposed to be. This to me is love.
Valentines day is supposed to be for romantic love, but today I am thinking of another love. The unconditional love of my family, my husband, and my Heavenly Father. I do not have a perfect life, but I have a life where there is a lot of love, and I have the blessing of a big crazy family who will always support me. There really isn't anything better than this.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear had to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
In particular I was thinking about how much we fight, I know that it's probably really silly to think about arguing on valentines day, but that's where my mind went. I can honestly say I am not one who is usually involved in the fights, but I am exposed to them often and usually get to hear both versions of the stories.
The thing that has always struck me about my family and makes it hard to think about moving away, is that I know no matter what my family has my back. It's always been that way, no matter how much we fight or argue amongst ourselves we are always there when we need each other. No one from the outside could ever pull us a part, we would always do whatever we had to protect each other and to help one another. I believe that this is what family is supposed to be. This to me is love.
Valentines day is supposed to be for romantic love, but today I am thinking of another love. The unconditional love of my family, my husband, and my Heavenly Father. I do not have a perfect life, but I have a life where there is a lot of love, and I have the blessing of a big crazy family who will always support me. There really isn't anything better than this.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear had to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Controlling my Temper
I used to be known for having a very bad temper, for being quick to react and fly off the handles, often aggressively in words and sometimes physically, which I'm really not proud of. I was prone to rages, and sometimes for reasons I wasn't even sure of. But since then I've learned to control my temper and talk things through. My husband and my relationship with God have been a big part of why I am now able to stay calm now.
Early in our relationship I warned Nick that I had a bad and sometimes aggressive temper, and he warned me that the kind of behavior I described to him was not acceptable if we were going to have a relationship. He wasn't mean or threatening or anything like that when he said it, he was simply expressing that he wasn't going to indulge me in my temper tantrums. And honestly, I was okay with that and respected him more because of it. Put like that I totally saw his point, I work with children and I don't indulge them in their tantrums either, in fact I walk away until they calm down, so I understood where he was coming from, no one wants to deal with someone who is angry and irrational. But as we spent just about all of our time together, I had to get creative on how to control my temper and rages, how to prevent them before they started.
It's been over six years since then, and in that time I've probably lost control of my temper maybe a half a dozen times, which is amazing considering I used to be a live wire. It started with just wanting to control it for his sake because the yelling, screaming, and throwing things made him uncomfortable, but then I discovered something about myself. I found I liked peace, harmony made me feel better, healthier even, so I started to use my techniques all the time not just when he was around, and now I'm going to share them.
It started out with whenever I would get mad or upset instead of flying off the handles and throwing a fit right away I would start talking myself down instead, saying calming things like 'It's going to be okay.' Then, mentally I would just go over the situation from EVERYONE'S position, because I realized that once you start putting yourself in the other person's shoes you are a lot less likely to yell at them, putting into real life action the words found at Proverbs 15:1 'A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger'. When you have compassion and empathy for the person you are angry at you will find that your whole approach to the argument is different and typically so is their response to you because of the love and compassion you are showing. After that I might still be angry but at least then I am enough calm enough to talk about the situation.
I'm a firm believer in dealing with issues, of talking them through because I've learned that bottling things up only leads to a bigger explosion later. We have even developed a way to handle intense discussions without me losing my cool. I was honest with him and told him there may be times when I just simply need a break if we were going to avoid fighting, so we take one when we need to. When it gets too stressful in the conversation we just take a break and come back to it later. And it seems to almost always work, we also have a phrase my husband uses when I'm getting too, shall we say excitable, during a discussion. He will ask me directly but kindly, "do you want to fight about this?" As soon as he ask this question it makes me think 'is this topic or point I'm trying to make so important to me that I would disrupt our peace for it?' Usually it's a no, but there's been a time or two when I was asked that question and said yes. The interesting thing is, because peace is so important to both of us that when I answer 'Yes, I'll fight about this,' he'll back down on his position. I know this, but I don't take advantage of it. It has to be really important to me before I will say I want to fight about it.
In my day to day life with others practicing putting myself in their position and talking kindly to myself or them is usually enough to keep me calm, but sometimes I still lose my cool, typically when driving. I'm still a work in progress, I'm still learning and I have found that God is greatly helping me in this area. Now when someone does something I think is stupid or dangerous, instead of getting mad, honking my horn, screaming, and cussing I pray for them. Then I thank God there wasn't an accident and move on. Sometimes I will still vent about it to someone else, but all in all I think I'm doing well and I've learned something really valuable. I learned it's not impossible to control a bad temper, and eventually it feels better to keep cool than it does to get fired up. I've learned that by leaning on God and looking at things from everyone's perspective I can still get my point across without being mean or loud. I've learned God's way is a lot better than mine.
Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
Proverbs 25:15
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
Ephesians 4:31
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
James 1:19-20
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Early in our relationship I warned Nick that I had a bad and sometimes aggressive temper, and he warned me that the kind of behavior I described to him was not acceptable if we were going to have a relationship. He wasn't mean or threatening or anything like that when he said it, he was simply expressing that he wasn't going to indulge me in my temper tantrums. And honestly, I was okay with that and respected him more because of it. Put like that I totally saw his point, I work with children and I don't indulge them in their tantrums either, in fact I walk away until they calm down, so I understood where he was coming from, no one wants to deal with someone who is angry and irrational. But as we spent just about all of our time together, I had to get creative on how to control my temper and rages, how to prevent them before they started.
It's been over six years since then, and in that time I've probably lost control of my temper maybe a half a dozen times, which is amazing considering I used to be a live wire. It started with just wanting to control it for his sake because the yelling, screaming, and throwing things made him uncomfortable, but then I discovered something about myself. I found I liked peace, harmony made me feel better, healthier even, so I started to use my techniques all the time not just when he was around, and now I'm going to share them.
It started out with whenever I would get mad or upset instead of flying off the handles and throwing a fit right away I would start talking myself down instead, saying calming things like 'It's going to be okay.' Then, mentally I would just go over the situation from EVERYONE'S position, because I realized that once you start putting yourself in the other person's shoes you are a lot less likely to yell at them, putting into real life action the words found at Proverbs 15:1 'A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger'. When you have compassion and empathy for the person you are angry at you will find that your whole approach to the argument is different and typically so is their response to you because of the love and compassion you are showing. After that I might still be angry but at least then I am enough calm enough to talk about the situation.
I'm a firm believer in dealing with issues, of talking them through because I've learned that bottling things up only leads to a bigger explosion later. We have even developed a way to handle intense discussions without me losing my cool. I was honest with him and told him there may be times when I just simply need a break if we were going to avoid fighting, so we take one when we need to. When it gets too stressful in the conversation we just take a break and come back to it later. And it seems to almost always work, we also have a phrase my husband uses when I'm getting too, shall we say excitable, during a discussion. He will ask me directly but kindly, "do you want to fight about this?" As soon as he ask this question it makes me think 'is this topic or point I'm trying to make so important to me that I would disrupt our peace for it?' Usually it's a no, but there's been a time or two when I was asked that question and said yes. The interesting thing is, because peace is so important to both of us that when I answer 'Yes, I'll fight about this,' he'll back down on his position. I know this, but I don't take advantage of it. It has to be really important to me before I will say I want to fight about it.
In my day to day life with others practicing putting myself in their position and talking kindly to myself or them is usually enough to keep me calm, but sometimes I still lose my cool, typically when driving. I'm still a work in progress, I'm still learning and I have found that God is greatly helping me in this area. Now when someone does something I think is stupid or dangerous, instead of getting mad, honking my horn, screaming, and cussing I pray for them. Then I thank God there wasn't an accident and move on. Sometimes I will still vent about it to someone else, but all in all I think I'm doing well and I've learned something really valuable. I learned it's not impossible to control a bad temper, and eventually it feels better to keep cool than it does to get fired up. I've learned that by leaning on God and looking at things from everyone's perspective I can still get my point across without being mean or loud. I've learned God's way is a lot better than mine.
Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
Proverbs 25:15
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
Ephesians 4:31
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
James 1:19-20
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Proud Moment
I wrote a short time ago about how Proverbs 31, and my grandmother's gave me someone to look up to and how I would like to be a woman worthy of my little sister's respect and admiration. This week I was very moved and pleased because my sister told me she wanted to be like me when she grew up. I can not think of a higher compliment.
My sister is only 13, but she has always instinctively been a good judge of character, better than myself usually. To have such a unique and wonderful individual look up to me is a blessing I can not begin to express. I look forward to seeing how she develops through these teenage years, and I will do my best not to fail her as a role model or big sister. I will be watching her to see how she sees me, and continually try to improve myself to be worthy of the admiration she has given me. I have always known she was watching me, but now I know she wants to be like me so that makes me want to be all the more conscious of my decisions.
I am blessed and honored by her, and have been since the day she was born, she was a long awaited answer to my prayers that came when I needed her most. I had to grow up fast because of her, but I don't regret it for a second. I am so proud of my little sister, her wit, her silliness, her charm, and sense of style, her modesty, and morality all amaze me. She is an incredibly innocent soul and for a long time was the only light I saw in so much darkness. Her love, respect, and companionship means so much to me! She and my spouse are my constant reminders to be better, to do better, they are relying on me, trusting in me, and I don't want to fail them.
Knowing that my sister is not only watching me, but desiring to be like me is an incredible responsibility, but I am finally at a point in my life where I feel like I can handle it. I feel like this is an honor and I know that so much of what she admires in me are things that God helped me to develop in my character which makes me so happy. I am for once in my life proud of the woman I am, and prouder that she wants to follow in my steps. I just hope that her path is less bumpy than my own.
Acts 28:10
They honored us in many ways; and when we were ready to sail, they furnished us with all the supplies we needed.
My sister is only 13, but she has always instinctively been a good judge of character, better than myself usually. To have such a unique and wonderful individual look up to me is a blessing I can not begin to express. I look forward to seeing how she develops through these teenage years, and I will do my best not to fail her as a role model or big sister. I will be watching her to see how she sees me, and continually try to improve myself to be worthy of the admiration she has given me. I have always known she was watching me, but now I know she wants to be like me so that makes me want to be all the more conscious of my decisions.
I am blessed and honored by her, and have been since the day she was born, she was a long awaited answer to my prayers that came when I needed her most. I had to grow up fast because of her, but I don't regret it for a second. I am so proud of my little sister, her wit, her silliness, her charm, and sense of style, her modesty, and morality all amaze me. She is an incredibly innocent soul and for a long time was the only light I saw in so much darkness. Her love, respect, and companionship means so much to me! She and my spouse are my constant reminders to be better, to do better, they are relying on me, trusting in me, and I don't want to fail them.
Knowing that my sister is not only watching me, but desiring to be like me is an incredible responsibility, but I am finally at a point in my life where I feel like I can handle it. I feel like this is an honor and I know that so much of what she admires in me are things that God helped me to develop in my character which makes me so happy. I am for once in my life proud of the woman I am, and prouder that she wants to follow in my steps. I just hope that her path is less bumpy than my own.
Acts 28:10
They honored us in many ways; and when we were ready to sail, they furnished us with all the supplies we needed.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Valentines Day
It's almost Valentines day, but as usual I'm not really excited. I am however happy. I have a wonderful husband who has helped me develop into the women I hoped I could be with his love and support. We are planning a big business venture, we have a home, and cars these things make me excited and grateful, but Valentines day does not.
He has never once forgotten to get me card, and we always try to do something nice at home together, but honestly I am just not a fan of this forced romance. Celebrating a day with this expectation of it has to be romantic defeats the purpose. I guess for some couples the reminder is needed, and for others it might be a good excuse to do something special. But I enjoy the little surprises better.
There is nothing more romantic than being surprised. And not neccasarily by flowers, jewelry, or candy....though chocolate is always a welcome site, it's more doing something unexpectedly. For instance, often in the spring and summer my husband will pick me wild flowers when we are out walking and put one in my hair. He's never asked to, he just does it, that's romantic. Or I'll come home to find he cleaned up the house! My favorite though is probably the silliest, I love playing in the rain with him, it's not something we do often even in the summer, but something about walking, playing, and kissing in a down pour is terribly romantic to me.
So I guess I don't like Valentines day because its not genuine, did you know they makes cards to tell your significant other that you love them all year round? I did, I've bought them when I knew he was having trouble. Romance to me isn't true when it's expected and when all the value of it is the price tag attached. Love and romance are built on the little shared moments, the unexpected sentiment that lifts our spirit and makes our hearts pound with desire.
1 Corithinians 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
He has never once forgotten to get me card, and we always try to do something nice at home together, but honestly I am just not a fan of this forced romance. Celebrating a day with this expectation of it has to be romantic defeats the purpose. I guess for some couples the reminder is needed, and for others it might be a good excuse to do something special. But I enjoy the little surprises better.
There is nothing more romantic than being surprised. And not neccasarily by flowers, jewelry, or candy....though chocolate is always a welcome site, it's more doing something unexpectedly. For instance, often in the spring and summer my husband will pick me wild flowers when we are out walking and put one in my hair. He's never asked to, he just does it, that's romantic. Or I'll come home to find he cleaned up the house! My favorite though is probably the silliest, I love playing in the rain with him, it's not something we do often even in the summer, but something about walking, playing, and kissing in a down pour is terribly romantic to me.
So I guess I don't like Valentines day because its not genuine, did you know they makes cards to tell your significant other that you love them all year round? I did, I've bought them when I knew he was having trouble. Romance to me isn't true when it's expected and when all the value of it is the price tag attached. Love and romance are built on the little shared moments, the unexpected sentiment that lifts our spirit and makes our hearts pound with desire.
1 Corithinians 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Sometimes it all adds up
In the moment of the storm or struggle it seems like nothing makes sense, and it's often hard to believe that anyone, including yourself is in control. It can feel like all the cards are stacked against you and that there's no hope, no way out. We all experience these storms and struggles, what I find amazing is how once we come through the other side of it and look back we sometimes find it all added up, it led us to this point of prosper and what seemed like endless pain, suffering, or drudgery was really just stepping stones to something greater.
I've had this happen a few times and it always amazes me how God provides, even if we don't see it at the time. His love is always with us. I have found that even sometimes choices that afterward seemed like mistakes can lead us to where we were meant to be. For example, after high school I got accepted into a good college just about an hour or so from home in a very quaint little Pennsylvania town. I loved the school, and the area, but going would have meant leaving my friends who weren't going to college yet, and the boy I was seeing then. So I stayed and moved in with my friends, instead.
Everyone told me it was mistake from the very start, but I didn't listen. Even when my soul cried out to me that this wasn't right, I ignored it and did what seemed like to me was a good way to start my adult life. In just a few months though I realized it was a bad choice, but I didn't feel as though I had anyway out. I was in the middle of a storm I didn't think I could escape. I could see my life spiraling out of control, but I had no idea how to get out!
Then I met my husband, and he was my voice of reason. He asked me the questions I was too afraid to ask myself, and he helped me take back control of my life and place it back into the hands of the Father. A couple years later we discovered that we both had had plans to move to the same quaint town, but didn't, at the same time. We realized that these events that had seemed disastrous to us before we met had all led up to us meeting. We could both make mental road maps of how everything led to that, and that even if we had decided to move that we may have met there too. It was like God always intended for us to meet, and marry, we were convinced that God brought us together, and I've never doubted it.
This is how I feel about our café too, I can see how everything has led to this point. Why certain things didn't work out, but other things happened instead. It leaves me feeling just as confident about this idea as I was about marrying Nick. I have never doubted or regretted marrying this man because I knew without a doubt this was the man I was always intended for. And this is how I feel about the café, that this is our purpose, we were meant to do this. I don't know why yet, and I don't know how, but I know that this is true. And I know that though I may not be able to see it right now, God will reveal everything when the time is right.
John 10:4
When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.
I've had this happen a few times and it always amazes me how God provides, even if we don't see it at the time. His love is always with us. I have found that even sometimes choices that afterward seemed like mistakes can lead us to where we were meant to be. For example, after high school I got accepted into a good college just about an hour or so from home in a very quaint little Pennsylvania town. I loved the school, and the area, but going would have meant leaving my friends who weren't going to college yet, and the boy I was seeing then. So I stayed and moved in with my friends, instead.
Everyone told me it was mistake from the very start, but I didn't listen. Even when my soul cried out to me that this wasn't right, I ignored it and did what seemed like to me was a good way to start my adult life. In just a few months though I realized it was a bad choice, but I didn't feel as though I had anyway out. I was in the middle of a storm I didn't think I could escape. I could see my life spiraling out of control, but I had no idea how to get out!
Then I met my husband, and he was my voice of reason. He asked me the questions I was too afraid to ask myself, and he helped me take back control of my life and place it back into the hands of the Father. A couple years later we discovered that we both had had plans to move to the same quaint town, but didn't, at the same time. We realized that these events that had seemed disastrous to us before we met had all led up to us meeting. We could both make mental road maps of how everything led to that, and that even if we had decided to move that we may have met there too. It was like God always intended for us to meet, and marry, we were convinced that God brought us together, and I've never doubted it.
This is how I feel about our café too, I can see how everything has led to this point. Why certain things didn't work out, but other things happened instead. It leaves me feeling just as confident about this idea as I was about marrying Nick. I have never doubted or regretted marrying this man because I knew without a doubt this was the man I was always intended for. And this is how I feel about the café, that this is our purpose, we were meant to do this. I don't know why yet, and I don't know how, but I know that this is true. And I know that though I may not be able to see it right now, God will reveal everything when the time is right.
John 10:4
When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
From Dreams to Plans
Taking steps to make a dream reality is very thrilling! And very scary! Dreaming is easy, in the dreaming stage it's seems so safe, easy, and practical. Now that we are buying books on running a coffee shop and writing out our menu and ideas for the interior it's becoming more reality than dream. It's very exciting, but I am nervous!
It's not because I think we are going to fail, because I really think we can do it. We have a good idea blending things we have seen done in other coffee shops/cafés, and making it into something new and our own. Plus we both have experience in the food industry, and as I have been self employed before I am aware of the tax situation, and also have some insight on how to do taxes for employees we hire as well. Even my husband said it made sense to him now why he has been stuck in food service for so long, it gives us a good base knowledge to work off of. And the job I work now will give us the steady monthly income we can sure use to help support us while we get the business off the ground.
In many ways it seems like this has all been part of God's plan for our life, which is way I have faith to do it. But it's scary going into the unknown, yes we have a basic knowledge but there is so much more to learn! And the money is the hardest thing, I know if God wants us to do this he'll make away for us, but where do we get the money!
We thought about doing kickstarter.com, but we don't really have anything to give these people in return for their cash. There's the bank, but what do we do for collateral? Will we need a cosigner? What about investors? Who do you ask? Do they have a say in the company too? These are the questions that plague me. Everything else is manageable, everything else is do-able, but this seems to be a mountain that I have no idea how to climb. The best thing I know how to do is to pray, research, and ask questions to people I know. Eventually what we need to do for financing will present itself, and hopefully our business plan will be ready to show off then. It's all going to come together, of that I am sure.
Hebrews 11:7
By faith Noah, when warned about things unseen, in Holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that is in keeping with faith.
It's not because I think we are going to fail, because I really think we can do it. We have a good idea blending things we have seen done in other coffee shops/cafés, and making it into something new and our own. Plus we both have experience in the food industry, and as I have been self employed before I am aware of the tax situation, and also have some insight on how to do taxes for employees we hire as well. Even my husband said it made sense to him now why he has been stuck in food service for so long, it gives us a good base knowledge to work off of. And the job I work now will give us the steady monthly income we can sure use to help support us while we get the business off the ground.
In many ways it seems like this has all been part of God's plan for our life, which is way I have faith to do it. But it's scary going into the unknown, yes we have a basic knowledge but there is so much more to learn! And the money is the hardest thing, I know if God wants us to do this he'll make away for us, but where do we get the money!
We thought about doing kickstarter.com, but we don't really have anything to give these people in return for their cash. There's the bank, but what do we do for collateral? Will we need a cosigner? What about investors? Who do you ask? Do they have a say in the company too? These are the questions that plague me. Everything else is manageable, everything else is do-able, but this seems to be a mountain that I have no idea how to climb. The best thing I know how to do is to pray, research, and ask questions to people I know. Eventually what we need to do for financing will present itself, and hopefully our business plan will be ready to show off then. It's all going to come together, of that I am sure.
Hebrews 11:7
By faith Noah, when warned about things unseen, in Holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that is in keeping with faith.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Pay it Foward
Have you ever seen the movie 'Pay it Foward'? It's an older movie that I haven't seen in a long time to be honest, it's probably around 15 years old or so. The movie had a really beautiful idea in it that has always stuck with me, doing something kind for someone else for nothing in return except asking them to pay it forward, or in other words do something to help someone else. I love this idea of helping people and asking them to do the same for someone else. How wonderful to pass blessings onto one another?
Recently I have been thinking a lot about this idea. My husband and I don't have a lot, in fact what we make is still considered poverty level in the US, but we are doing so much better than we used too! I am reminded of this every time we go grocery shopping and I actually have to move stuff around in my cabinets, something we never had to do before because we only ever had enough to go week to week. And I felt blessed then! Now we have more, and though we are still not even lower middle class I want to give back. I want to pay it forward to someone else, to many someone else's if God grants me the opportunity!
This idea of paying it forward is also part of our business plan, if we are able to secure the financing for our business we plan to use the first 10% of profit each quarter to bless according to God's will, whether it be through donations to charity, church, or helping someone we know in need. We have struggled, and we have gone without, now that things are starting to change in our lives we plan on giving back.
I don't know who all is reading this, and I don't know what your situation is, I don't know if you believe in God, and at this moment that's not the point. What I am doing however, is asking that if you are reading this please consider 'paying it forward'. Wouldn't this world be a much better place to live in if we all started to do kind things for one another simply to be kind? It all starts with one act of kindness. It doesn't have to be something big, it can be as simple as buying a cup of coffee for someone who looks cold, or giving up your seat on the bus to someone who needs it more. Do an act of kindness and maybe change someone's heart.
2 Samuel 2:6
May The Lord now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I to will show you the same favor because you have done this.
Recently I have been thinking a lot about this idea. My husband and I don't have a lot, in fact what we make is still considered poverty level in the US, but we are doing so much better than we used too! I am reminded of this every time we go grocery shopping and I actually have to move stuff around in my cabinets, something we never had to do before because we only ever had enough to go week to week. And I felt blessed then! Now we have more, and though we are still not even lower middle class I want to give back. I want to pay it forward to someone else, to many someone else's if God grants me the opportunity!
This idea of paying it forward is also part of our business plan, if we are able to secure the financing for our business we plan to use the first 10% of profit each quarter to bless according to God's will, whether it be through donations to charity, church, or helping someone we know in need. We have struggled, and we have gone without, now that things are starting to change in our lives we plan on giving back.
I don't know who all is reading this, and I don't know what your situation is, I don't know if you believe in God, and at this moment that's not the point. What I am doing however, is asking that if you are reading this please consider 'paying it forward'. Wouldn't this world be a much better place to live in if we all started to do kind things for one another simply to be kind? It all starts with one act of kindness. It doesn't have to be something big, it can be as simple as buying a cup of coffee for someone who looks cold, or giving up your seat on the bus to someone who needs it more. Do an act of kindness and maybe change someone's heart.
2 Samuel 2:6
May The Lord now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I to will show you the same favor because you have done this.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Constant Thoughts
I have constant thoughts of success, I believe these kinds of constant thoughts that persist are from God. I believe that these kinds of thoughts are His way of calling you to your destiny. And I believe this in part from hearing many pastors say as much, and in part because I know that when I am working towards success I feel a peace in my spirit. When I am not working towards it and decide to give up and settle I'm miserable.
To me success doesn't neccasarily mean being rich, it means being able to provide my family with a good life that is stable and comfortable. It means being able to give back to my family and help them as so many are struggling. It means being able to give generously to the poor and to the church. I want to help people, and I try to now, but I wish I had the means to help more. Someday I believe God will give me the opportunity! This is part of my constant thoughts, part of my dream, and my calling.
I never knew until recently how I would reach this level of success, but I believe without doubting that the cafe will be how it's achieved. I spend about an hour or two everyday researching it, how to get funding, how to write a business plan, steps to opening a business, and all the legalities of it. I am constantly thinking about the where, the hours, the staff, the menu, the decor, and the how.
I know Nick and I have a small amount of our own, but how to get the rest? $20,000 would be a good start, but $50,000 would probably get us to where we need to be to start. And with $50,000 I could quit my job too and work full time at the cafe, but as it looks now we may need my income to help support us as we get started. It would be nice if the bank would lend us the money, or we had investors. I trust that God will show us which way to go, I know somehow, someway it'll all get figured out. For now I need to take these constant thoughts and remind myself one step at a time. I need to trust that when the time is right the money or the know how of how to get it will be there.
Constant, persistent thoughts drive me. They give me hope. And remind me I have destiny, purpose, and a God who will not allow me to settle for less than He has intended for me.
1 Thessalonians 1:3
We remember before our God and father your work produced by faith, your labor produced by love, and your endurance proved by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
To me success doesn't neccasarily mean being rich, it means being able to provide my family with a good life that is stable and comfortable. It means being able to give back to my family and help them as so many are struggling. It means being able to give generously to the poor and to the church. I want to help people, and I try to now, but I wish I had the means to help more. Someday I believe God will give me the opportunity! This is part of my constant thoughts, part of my dream, and my calling.
I never knew until recently how I would reach this level of success, but I believe without doubting that the cafe will be how it's achieved. I spend about an hour or two everyday researching it, how to get funding, how to write a business plan, steps to opening a business, and all the legalities of it. I am constantly thinking about the where, the hours, the staff, the menu, the decor, and the how.
I know Nick and I have a small amount of our own, but how to get the rest? $20,000 would be a good start, but $50,000 would probably get us to where we need to be to start. And with $50,000 I could quit my job too and work full time at the cafe, but as it looks now we may need my income to help support us as we get started. It would be nice if the bank would lend us the money, or we had investors. I trust that God will show us which way to go, I know somehow, someway it'll all get figured out. For now I need to take these constant thoughts and remind myself one step at a time. I need to trust that when the time is right the money or the know how of how to get it will be there.
Constant, persistent thoughts drive me. They give me hope. And remind me I have destiny, purpose, and a God who will not allow me to settle for less than He has intended for me.
1 Thessalonians 1:3
We remember before our God and father your work produced by faith, your labor produced by love, and your endurance proved by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
Monday, February 3, 2014
So much to think about!!
Working towards opening a business is pretty thought consuming. I can hardly think of anything else. My mind is racing with all the stuff we need to figure out. This is something completely out of both our elements, something we've never done before. But something I feel we will do well at once we figure it all out. It's going to take time and hard work to even get the money to open the cafe, but it'll be worth it.
We've been talking a lot about what we want to do about profits, and how we want to give back. It's important to us that we give 10% of the profit to the church and charity. We believe that the first 10% is God's money and meant to help others. So even before we open our doors we know that not everything we make will we keep. This is important to us. We have struggled, and are doing okay now. We want to give back. I sincerely hope that this cafe will give us the opportunity to do so.
There are many aspects of the business we are still working out and trying to put together. Employees is one such thing, will I keep my nanny job for stabile income or quit and work full-time at the cafe? Will we get investors or a bank loan? What about hiring family? How much to lease a store and how much room will we need? How much will equipment cost be and what will our monthly expense budget be like?
I guess it's one step at a time. We need to look at one thing at a time, answer that question then move on. We need to work at a steady pace and keep focused. It's a new adventure, something scary and wonderful at the same time. It'll be a dream come true if we can do it, and I'm sure we can! I've heard it said that God won't put a dream in your heart without giving you everything you need to acheive it. He came through for all my dreams so far, so I'm not doubting Him now! I just need to remind myself to move at a steady pace, don't let every question bombard my mind and overwhelm me. Just look at one thing at a time, slow and steady wins the race!
Genesis 28:20-22
Then Jacob made a vow saying, "if God will be with me and watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father's household, then the Lord will be my God, and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God's house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth."
We've been talking a lot about what we want to do about profits, and how we want to give back. It's important to us that we give 10% of the profit to the church and charity. We believe that the first 10% is God's money and meant to help others. So even before we open our doors we know that not everything we make will we keep. This is important to us. We have struggled, and are doing okay now. We want to give back. I sincerely hope that this cafe will give us the opportunity to do so.
There are many aspects of the business we are still working out and trying to put together. Employees is one such thing, will I keep my nanny job for stabile income or quit and work full-time at the cafe? Will we get investors or a bank loan? What about hiring family? How much to lease a store and how much room will we need? How much will equipment cost be and what will our monthly expense budget be like?
I guess it's one step at a time. We need to look at one thing at a time, answer that question then move on. We need to work at a steady pace and keep focused. It's a new adventure, something scary and wonderful at the same time. It'll be a dream come true if we can do it, and I'm sure we can! I've heard it said that God won't put a dream in your heart without giving you everything you need to acheive it. He came through for all my dreams so far, so I'm not doubting Him now! I just need to remind myself to move at a steady pace, don't let every question bombard my mind and overwhelm me. Just look at one thing at a time, slow and steady wins the race!
Genesis 28:20-22
Then Jacob made a vow saying, "if God will be with me and watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father's household, then the Lord will be my God, and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God's house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth."
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Busy mind keeping me awake
I hate when I can't sleep, but most times I know the cause. I can never sleep when I feel like there is a project I should be working on. I just can't slow my mind down enough to relax and stay asleep. This was last night. I'm so focused on this project I have a hard time thinking about anything and I am now having a hard time sleeping too.
I have a few tricks though I'm going to employ to get the rest I need before getting up before dawn and going to work. I'm going to watch an ASMR video tonight before bed, I know I will asleep then. But if I end up having trouble staying asleep, which was the other part of my sleeping dilemma, then I'll have to take a sleeping pill or drink some sleepy time tea the next night before bed.
I hate drugging myself for sleep! Honestly, I hate most medications. The thought of using all these poteintly dangerous chemicals that are supposedly safe makes me nervous. I don't trust humans much, especially big pharma, but I do trust God. I admit I usually do end up taking one sleeping pill if I go for 3 days or more without good sleep, but really I'd prefer using natural remedies.
I would totally love to meet someone or find a shoppe that I was comfortable going to where I could talk to and get advice from someone knowledgable in the natural medicines. My mother in law is good for that, but she doesn't live near by anymore. And it's really not my mother's thing.
I guess if I have to break down what's actually happening in my life and what has been happening for a long time, I am steadily shifting away from mainstream beliefs. I am becoming a person who believes fully in the power of prayer, natural medicines, and miraclous healings. I am believing more and more in how our minds, and souls can heal our bodies by willing it so and with prayer. I believe in these things, but I don't endorse not seeking medical treatment when it's necessary. If you cut off your finger, don't pray that it will magically grow back, get your butt to the emergency room! God gave us doctors for a reason!
See, it's not that I don't trust doctors. I just don't trust the pharmicuatal industry, I feel like a lot of what they give us is really poison. Sure it 'cures' one thing but how many other problems does it cause? I just don't trust it, give me something God made over that of man any day. Him I trust. Him I know wants to help me. Him I know loves me, and He has made promises to care for me, I just have to put my faith and love in Him.
I guess my not sleeping rant turned into an anti-prescription drug rant. But that happens when you're sleepy. I'm going to try to nap some now before Nick gets up and we are ready to get stuff done. God bless all who have read this!
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
I have a few tricks though I'm going to employ to get the rest I need before getting up before dawn and going to work. I'm going to watch an ASMR video tonight before bed, I know I will asleep then. But if I end up having trouble staying asleep, which was the other part of my sleeping dilemma, then I'll have to take a sleeping pill or drink some sleepy time tea the next night before bed.
I hate drugging myself for sleep! Honestly, I hate most medications. The thought of using all these poteintly dangerous chemicals that are supposedly safe makes me nervous. I don't trust humans much, especially big pharma, but I do trust God. I admit I usually do end up taking one sleeping pill if I go for 3 days or more without good sleep, but really I'd prefer using natural remedies.
I would totally love to meet someone or find a shoppe that I was comfortable going to where I could talk to and get advice from someone knowledgable in the natural medicines. My mother in law is good for that, but she doesn't live near by anymore. And it's really not my mother's thing.
I guess if I have to break down what's actually happening in my life and what has been happening for a long time, I am steadily shifting away from mainstream beliefs. I am becoming a person who believes fully in the power of prayer, natural medicines, and miraclous healings. I am believing more and more in how our minds, and souls can heal our bodies by willing it so and with prayer. I believe in these things, but I don't endorse not seeking medical treatment when it's necessary. If you cut off your finger, don't pray that it will magically grow back, get your butt to the emergency room! God gave us doctors for a reason!
See, it's not that I don't trust doctors. I just don't trust the pharmicuatal industry, I feel like a lot of what they give us is really poison. Sure it 'cures' one thing but how many other problems does it cause? I just don't trust it, give me something God made over that of man any day. Him I trust. Him I know wants to help me. Him I know loves me, and He has made promises to care for me, I just have to put my faith and love in Him.
I guess my not sleeping rant turned into an anti-prescription drug rant. But that happens when you're sleepy. I'm going to try to nap some now before Nick gets up and we are ready to get stuff done. God bless all who have read this!
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
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