I was visiting with my grandma recently and she was talking to me about not being able to visit my granddad in the hospital where he was receiving rehabilitation from a fall, due to the bad roads lately and how he had asked her to call every hour that they would both normally be awake, but would only talk to her for about five minutes. My grandparents have been married 57 years, and although my grandfather has not always been an easy man to be married to they have made it and are still in love, which absolutely amazes me!
I admire them and their relationship very much, in fact my husband and I picked a date close to their wedding date because of that. It's so sweet to see them together, my grandma just fusses over him, always trying to take care of his needs and make sure he's comfortable. And he teases her like crazy! But even if you didn't see all that, if all you did was sit next to one of them and talk to them about their spouse you would know that they were still in love, their faces change and a light sparkles in their eyes. It's a very wonderful thing to see, especially knowing their rocky past, to be able to go though all of that, raise 6 children together, and still love one another so deeply.
When my grandma told me about the way my granddad was behaving at the rehabilitation center with wanting to be called all day if she couldn't be there I couldn't help but smile. She told me he wanted her to stay there with him, he joked that she could just sleep there with him until he could go home. Even with a staff of nurses, he still wants her there, he still needs her with him, even if there is nothing she can do for him except just sit beside him. I love my grandfather, I love how much he loves and needs my grandma.
They don't really go out anymore, and never really did go out much together before either unless it was to walk trails at the local park. But they are content together, they are happy just to be together in each other's company. People keep telling my grandma to put him in a nursing home for long term care instead of the short stays for rehabilitation, and I'll be surprised if she ever does. I don't think some people understand the relationship they have. And I'm not sure many people have this kind of relationship honestly, my granddad may be ornery, and disabled due to 2 heart attacks, and bad arthritis, but grandma needs him just as much as he needs her. She is at her best and happiest when she's taking care of him, I see that in the way she cares for him, so tender and loving.
I look at them and I see the couple that eloped, and built a life together. A couple that built a house for their family 50+ years ago, survived my grandfather's alcohol abuse, raised 6 kids, 21 grandchildren, and did the best they could. I see a couple that had to struggle to stay together sometimes because it was hard, and fought with each, and still on occasion fights, but that never gave up. They believed in marriage and the vows they took, they had faith and raised all of us to know there is a God.
I asked my grandma before why she didn't leave pappy when he was drinking away their income, and she told me it was because she always believed God would free him from the addiction, she just had to be patient. She doesn't believe in divorce, and she felt that a life with the man she loved, no matter how difficult, was better than one without him. I think about that a lot. That is love. I'm not sure that I have ever actually heard my grandparents say 'I love you' to each other, but no one can doubt that they do. I think they have a love better than anything I have ever read in a book, other than the love of God for us. Theirs is a love that goes beyond romantic love, their love is loyal, and steadfast, and built on a lot of hard work and faith in each other and trust in God. They are inspirational. They are a testimony not only of their love for each other, but God's love seeing them through. They are a testimony of trusting God when most would have given up, and in the end, they still have each other, they still have faith, and my grandma was proven right to those who thought she should leave and that my grandfather wouldn't change. In their love and their love for us I have seen a glimpse of God's love and I am blessed and inspired by it.They are a testimony of love and faithfulness to each other and God.
Psalm 86:15
But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness
1 John 4:8
He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.
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